GoldieTheFazbear: "Uh, well, that was... interesting."

Audience boos Golden Freddy and GoldieTheFazbear takes a sip of coffee out of a new mug

GoldieTheFazbear: "Anyway, next up, I have a very special guest joining tonight along with our next interviewee. Please welcome the main writer of Fazbabies, BonnieBunBun!"

BonnieBunBun walks out on stage carrying baby Bonnie.

Audience cheers loudly, and Bonnie starts crying

Bonnie: "OWWWWW! STOP IT!"

BonnieBunBun: "Yeah, she's scared of loud noises, just saying,"

GoldieTheFazbear: "Alright, alright, settle down-Hey! Be quiet-SHUT UP!"

Audience stops screaming.

GoldieTheFazbear: "Ok, that's good. Now, Bonnie, what do you think of your boyfriend?"

Bonnie: "Well, he's so sweet! He even helped fight off Foxy for me once! I hope we get married, and then we could be together...Forever. I really love him!"

Audience awws and Goldie puts her hand over her mouth

GoldieTheFazbear: "Oh dear god, why all of this love talk?"

BonnieBunBun: "Oh, stop being immature, Goldie!"

GoldieTheFazbear: "It's not called being immature! It's called hating romance!"

BonnieBunBun: "Whatever,"

GoldieTheFazbear: "Anyways. Bonnie? Who's your best friend in preschool?"

Bonnie: "Chica! She's like, the nicest ever! We're gonna be best friends forever. Except she cries too much, and it's sort of annoying. And she pees her pants a lot."

Audience laughs

Bonnie: "Goldie, can I leave now? The noise is scaring me!"

GoldieTheFazbear: "No, but you can have THESE!"

GoldieTheFazbear hands Bonnie a pair of noise reduction headphones

GoldieTheFazbear: "Alright, on with the questions. What about my personal favorite Goldie?"

Bonnie: "He's kinda mean but he does the best things! You should have seen the time he roasted that toy bitch!"

GoldieTheFazbear: "Uh, which one?"

BonnieBunBun whispers something to Goldie

BonnieBunBun: "Toy Bonnie"

GoldieTheFazbear: "Ok, good for him! How 'bout your boyfriend's arch-nemesis?"

Bonnie: "Uh, Foxy? I have no idea what ne-nemes-neme-"

GoldieTheFazbear: "It's nemesis, and yes, it's Foxy."

Bonnie: "Oh my GOD, he is SO ANNOYING! He keeps on trying to get me to become his girlfriend, but he needs to understand that he's a selfish, annoying jerk!"

GoldieTheFazbear: "Ok, so apparently everyone hates Foxy..."

Audience boos

BonnieBunBun: "You know, Foxy is actually the most liked of all the original Fnaf characters..."

GoldieTheFazbear: "Damn it! I really don't see why he's so popular!"

An audience member throws a water bottle at Goldie's face, but she ducks and it hits the backdrop

GoldieTheFazbear: "Ha! Missed me didn't you, you douchebag!"

BonnieBunBun: "Uh, changing subjects! B-back to the interview! So what about the Toys?"

Bonnie: "I HATE THEM! ALL THEY DO IS JUDGE YOU BY YOUR APPEARANCE, AND IT'S SO STUPID!"

GoldieTheFazbear: "Oh yeah, Toy Bonnie and Toy Chica!"

Bonnie: "She tried to steal my boyfriend Freddy! What a bitch!"

GoldieTheFazbear: "What about Toy Chica?"

Bonnie: "She's still super mean! All she does is side with Toy Bonnie for everything!"

GoldieTheFazbear: "And Mangle and Toy Freddy?"

Bonnie: "One's a dumbass, and one's just plain lonely. But they're-"

Goldie's phone starts ringing.

GoldieTheFazbear: "Vincent?! Why the hell are you calling me! I'm interviewing Bonnie!"

Stage Crew Vincent: "I put ipecac in your coffee..."

Goldie spits out her coffee

GoldieTheFazbear: "Ipecac?! How much did you put and why would you do that?!"

Stage Crew Vincent: "The whole bottle... Hehe..."

GoldieTheFazbear: "Oh, shit..."

Suddenly, Goldie puts her hand over her mouth and runs offstage

BonnieBunBun: "Ok, on with the show! So, Bonnie, I have a present from Freddy for you!"

Bonnie: "Ooh! Ooh! What is it?"

BonnieBunBun hands Bonnie the gift. She opens it, revealing a diamond encrusted red bowtie.

Bonnie: "OH MY GOD! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FREDDY!"

BonnieBunBun: "Wait, your boyfriend's parents are millionaires?!"

Bonnie: "Yeah!"

BonnieBunBun stares in disbelief.

Bonnie: "What?"

Meanwhile, backstage...

GoldieTheFazbear: "HULLLEEEEEHHH!"

Goldie is violently sick and hurls into a bucket backstage. Stage crew crowds around her.

Stage Crew Mike: "Uh, did someone talk about sex out there?"

Stage Crew Vincent: "Hehe"

GoldieTheFazbear: "SCREW YOU VINCENT! YOU'RE FIRED!"

Stage Crew Jeremy: "Whoa, what happened out there?"

GoldieTheFazbear: "NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS- HULEEEHHHH!"

Security guards kick Vincent out of the studio.

BonnieBunBun: "Uh, anyway... HOW DID YOU GET A MILLIONAIRE BOYFRIEND?"

BonnieBunBun picks up Bonnie and shakes her until she starts crying.

Bonnie: "NOO! STOP IT! FREDDY HELP ME!"

BonnieBunBun: "HE'S-NOT-COMING!"

Suddenly, Freddy bursts onto the stage, security guards chasing him down.

Freddy: "PUT DOWN MY GIRLFRIEND, YOU $ *& #!&#%& *$# %$& **# ^ #!

Obscenities fly out of Freddy's mouth, and everyone gasps.

BonnieBunBun: Sorry! I was just wondering-"

Freddy: "Just wondering? Just wondering if I would let you torture her?!"

BonnieBunBun: "NO! Wondering how she got a millionaire boyfriend!"

Freddy: "Because she's way hotter, prettier, and smarter than you, you BITCH!"

BonnieBunBun gulps nervously. Goldie comes back out, not sick anymore.

GoldieTheFazbear: "SECURITY! GET THIS LITTLE ABOMINATION OUT OF THE STUDIO! I NEVER WANT TO SEE HIM AGAIN!"

Bonnie gasps and protests, but to no avail

Bonnie: "HE'S NOT AN ABOMINATION! I LOVE HIM!"

Fritz, the security guard, ignores her and carries a screaming Freddy offstage and throws him out the back door. He lands face-first into the dumpster.

Bonnie: "NOOO! FREDDY!"

Bonnie runs out the door.

Freddy: "OH SCREW YOU, GOLDIE, YOU #* &$%*#*$ $#!"

Goldie slams the door in Freddy's face, trapping both Bonnie and Freddy outside.

GoldieTheFazbear: "There! NOW GET THE FUCK OUT!"

Her screams are met with silence, but rustling noises from outside sound.

BonnieBunBun: "What the fuck is going on out there?"

Stage Crew Mike looks through the peephole

Stage Crew Mike: "Uh, you might wanna chase them even further than that..."

GoldieTheFazbear: "What? What the hell is wrong with you?"

Goldie opens the door, only to reveal Freddy kissing Bonnie- ON THE LIPS- right outside the door.

GoldieTheFazbear: "I TOLD YOU TO GET THE FUCK OUT!"

Bonnie: "Freddy?"

Freddy: "Run!"

Bonnie and Freddy run into the distance. Goldie doubles over and hurls into the already-full bucket, causing vomit to spill over the sides and get absolutely everywhere.

GoldieTheFazbear: "FUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKK!"