Booth opened his eyes and blinked three or four times to clear the blur. It was getting worse.
I need to go see about getting glasses he thought randomly.
He lifted his head from the pillow and looked across Brennan's body to the clock on the bedside table. 4:35 glared at him in large fluorescent numerals. He flopped back down onto his pillow, then turned onto his side, punching the pillow into some sort of support for his head and shoulder and sighed loudly. Laying there for a few minutes he let his mind wander, then sighed again, and sat up, his feet dangling about an inch above the floor. This bed is high. I like it. He made a mental note to try to put blocks under the legs of his bed at home so that it was high like this one.
Turning his head from side to side, then tipping it so his ears dipped towards his shoulders, he stretched his neck, then raised his arms high above his head, hands linked, pulling upwards through his shoulders until it twinged his shoulder blade. He pulled his arm back down quickly, grabbing at his shoulder. Darn it, that hurt
Booth pressed the palms of his hands into the mattress and pushed himself forwards off the bed, landing softly on his feet. He walked around the room, flexing his back and legs, warming up his muscles. He sat on the only chair in the room and pulled on a pair of white sports socks, then pushed his feet into the sneakers that he had packed. He grabbed his baggy grey sweat pants and pushed his shoe clad feet down through the legs and tied the string at the waist so they wouldn't slide down. He shrugged on a white T-shirt and grabbed his phone and watch from the dresser and quietly opened the door of their hotel room and stepped out into the hallway.
Booth was comforted by the soft thudding of his feet against the sidewalk as he jogged along the street. He hadn't run in a long, long time. And his body was letting him know that it didn't appreciate it. His knees were feeling it before he had run a block, but he pushed himself onwards. The fresh cool air rushing against his face as he ran. He ran about three more blocks then pulled up, panting hard. His back was bent as he pressed the balls of his hands into his thighs just above his knees. What was I thinking? I'm too old and too worn out for this shit. he thought to himself.
But he knew why he was doing it. To forget, just for a moment about Pops lying in that hospital bed, not moving. He did it to not think about the possibility that with every day that went by, the chances of him waking up grew less. He did it to make himself feel something. Even pain. The pain in his body gave him something else to think about.
Booth straightened up and looked around him, then he turned and began limping back to the hotel.
Brennan wasn't in the bed when he got back. "Bones?" he called out, then realised that the shower was running. He felt his mood lift a little, and shrugged, smiling to himself. I guess she knew I'd need a hot shower to relax when I got back He stripped off his Tshirt and undid the tie on his sweats, slipping them down, along with his boxers. Using his toes to hold the back of his shoes, he pulled his feet from them, and then bent down with a groan to pull off his socks.
He groaned as he stood back up, and rubbed at his lower back, then walked naked to the bathroom and pulled open the door "Honey. I'm home!" he called playfully before pulling back the shower curtain, making Brennan shriek.
Brennan sat at the small sideboard on the chair in a short robe, her hair wrapped up in a towel, watching Booth dry off. It wasn't an unpleasant experience at all. His long slim legs, white at the top and tanned below the knees, meeting his firm white buttocks. They reminded her of two alabaster orbs she had seen on a trip to Greece. He slid the towel up his legs, making the fine dark hairs stand up, then rubbed at his groin with a roughness that made Brennan wonder how that wasn't extremely uncomfortable.
Her head was tilted and she was completely mesmerised, not noticing that he was grinning at her as he rubbed the towel over his chest and under his armpits.
"So. You like what you see?" he asked cheekily.
Brennan heard him and flicked her eyes to the floor, feeling her face begin to burn. She shrugged and looked him in the eye "I've seen better" she replied.
Booth took her by surprise as he ran over to her and pulled her up out of the chair, dragging the towel from her hair and throwing it on the bed, before pressing his lips against hers, his body grinding against hers. "Liar" he mumbled into her mouth.
Her reply was to pull the sash from her robe, allowing his body to press against her warm soft skin.
"I think we need to stop for gas" Brennan said as they walked out of the hotel to their car. I noticed yesterday it was under a quarter of a tank.
"OK" Booth replied dreamily. He was still feeling a glow from their lovemaking. "I think I might grab some snacks to take to the hospital. There's something about that place that makes me hungry, but those snack machines just don't do it for me" he added as he unlocked the car.
They drove in silence to the gas station and Brennan grabbed some snacks while Booth filled the tank. He paid for their purchases and grabbed a newspaper, handing the attendant a handful of coins to cover the cost. "Might as well see what's going on in the rest of the world" he said, smiling.
Brennan put on her seatbelt and took the paper from Booth and scanned the front page. "There's been a murder last night. I wonder if the Jeffersonian will get involved?" she murmured.
"You know, if you need, or want to go back. It's OK." Booth said, halfheartedly. He really didn't want her to go, but if it was important, he knew that she might need to be there.
"Of course I'm not going back. This is where I need to be. This is where I want to be Booth. With you and Pops." she said, laying her hand on his arm. "For you"
Booth let go of the steering wheel with one hand and lay his hand over hers for a moment, pressing his fingers into the back of her hand.
"Morning Pops!" Booth called merrily as he entered Hanks hospital room. There was a faint lemony smell in the air. "Smells like the cleaners have been in already! Are they nice? They're not making any passes at you, are they Pops?" he joked as he kissed his grandfather's forehead. He adjusted the sheet across his chest and smoothed it down. "You feel a little cold." He said as he patted Pop's hand. Booth pulled up the blanket from the bottom of the bed, laying it over Pops chest. "There. I bet that feels better."
Brennan put the bag of snacks down next to the cupboard and opened the small refrigerator and pulled out the bag of coffee grounds "Coffee Booth?" she asked, even though she already knew the answer.
"Hell yeah! We love our morning coffee, don't we Pops" he patted Hanks shoulder.
Her eyes went to the monitor by the bed. She pressed her lips together as she counted in her head. She felt her head shake slightly as she turned back to make the coffee.
A nurse appeared at the door and smiled "Good morning Mr and Mrs Booth. Just letting you know that the Doctor has been around early this morning. He wanted to let you know that he's available and would like to have a chat with you this morning" she said.
Brennan turned and looked at Booth, who's face had blanched.
"Thankyou. Can you give us five minutes. Does he want to see us in his office? Or here?" she asked.
The nurse nodded "I'm to page him and let him know. He will be coming by here" she looked at her watch "in about fifteen minutes. I'll get another chair for you too" She smiled at Booth and excused herself and went on about her business.
Brennan shrugged and pressed her lips together for a moment "Well, this will be interesting. I'd like to know what their prognosis is" she said, then said "I mean, not prognosis, I just would like to hear what they think about his progress" her voice strained.
"It's OK Bones. I know. It's not exactly looking hopeful, is it. He hasn't moved. His eyes don't flutter. He never changes his expression. I get it " his voice caught in his throat. "How about that coffee" he said, changing the subject for the time being.
Booth and Brennan sat side by side listening to Pops doctor, who was perched on the edge of Pops bed. Most of it whizzed by Booth. He was grateful Brennan was there. He knew that she would explain most of it to him. He was too busy looking at his Grandfather. Suddenly the doctor was standing up in front of him, his hand extended. Booth stood up and clasped his hand and muttered a thankyou.
Brennan walked the doctor to the door and thanked him for coming by to speak to them.
She turned and looked at Booth. He looked like a little lost boy.
"It's not good news is it Bones" he said turning to look at her. "I did get that bit" he added.
Brennan looked at the floor then walked over and sat next to him, reaching out for his hand.
"You can just tell me straight. What's happening. How long. I don't want to know all the medical stuff" Booth said sniffing.
"He's deteriorating. His heart is not as strong as it was five days ago when we got here. I noticed that on the monitor today." she said.
"And?" Booth said bluntly.
Brennan sucked her bottom lip in and stared at his hand for a moment. She shook her head "It could be any time. Tonight. Tomorrow. Maybe next week."
"But?" he said, sensing she had more to say.
"But probably not. I think we need to say our goodbyes Booth. I know this is hard for you. It's the hardest thing you've probably ever had to do." She said squeezing his hand. "So I'm going to say goodbye and I'm going to leave you with him. I know you probably have things to say to him. And you need to say them now." Brennan lifted his hand and kissed the back of it.
She stood up and bent down and hugged Pops frame. She could feel how much weight he had lost despite the drip that ran into him constantly. "Goodbye Pops. Thank you for giving me Booth. Thank you for teaching him how to be a good husband and father. " her voice caught in her throat making her stammer the last few words. She kissed his cheek and smoothed his hair gently, then stood up and pulled Booth up out of his seat.
"Take your time. Say everything you want and need to. Just call me when you're ready" she whispered in his ear. "And have hope Booth. We might have him for a few more days"
Booth hugged her tightly, not wanting her to go and leave him there. He wasn't ready to say the things he needed to. He nodded and finally released her.
She waved to him from the doorway.
Booth watched her disappear then stood for a moment, not sure what to do. He decided to pour himself another cup of coffee then sat down, pulling his chair as close to the bed as he could.
"So. It's just you and me Pops. I guess you heard the doctor. You're not doing so good."
Booth swallowed and picked up Pops hand and held it. "You know I'm grateful. Right? You did so much for me and for Jared. I've never really talked to you about Ed. Dad. I've carried a lot of anger about what he did inside me for most of my life. I get that he had a disease. Hell, I've inherited that shit from him. The difference is I've had someone at my back the whole time. First it was you, and now, it's Bones. He never had that I guess. After Mom left, he blamed her for everything. Every time he drank, gambled, beat me. It was her fault. And I blamed her too. I never blamed him." He shook his head "Not until that day you came over and he was out of control. That was the worst I've ever seen him. And I don't know that I would have made it out if you hadn't intervened and stopped him. I was glad he was gone. I was glad that he never came back. I was glad when he died. I can't say I wasn't, because I was. I'm still glad he died. I'm glad I never had to look him in the eye and had to listen to him justifying what he did to me."
Booth stopped talking and stared up at the machine, watching Pop's heartbeat. He could see now what Brennan was talking about. It was uneven and slow.
"Anyway, I want to say, I know what a huge thing it was you did. Taking on two teenage boys. I get it wasn't easy. We weren't easy. But we were kids. And I'm glad we had you. I wish my kids had been able to spend more time with you, but I know they are a handful, especially Christine. But know that she loves her Poppy Pops" he smiled. "And Parker has some good memories with you, and I'm grateful for that. Maybe if we had more time, you would have gotten to see that wish of yours come true for another baby. I'm sorry we haven't fulfilled that one. One day I would love to have another one or two. We'll see."
Booth sat back in his chair and sipped at his coffee. Remembering so many good times. "Remember when you used to cook me grilled cheese? You still make the best grilled cheese I've ever had. Even Bones loves it. I was thinking about that time you set fire to my old apartment. Do you remember that? I think that was the first time I actually realised you were getting old. You never seemed old to me. Bones sat me down after that and had a talk to me about you. I thought she was exaggerating, but I can see now what she was saying. She knew that you weren't taking your medication regularly after that time we found out you'd run out and hadn't refilled your prescription. Did you use that pill box she bought for you?" He sat waiting for a reply that didn't come.
" I'm sorry I probably ignored the signs that you might have been finding things a bit much. Like at the wedding. You were cooking for everyone. Looking after the kids. I just let you, without even thinking that it might have worn you out."
He stood up and stretched his back, walking over to the window. "I wish you would wake up so I could take you downstairs to the garden. It looks really nice down there." He said, turning back to Pops. "You know I tried to teach Parker how to pitch. I told him that you had a killer sinker. Turns out, he's like me. He has a great fast ball. You'd be proud of him."
Suddenly the machine monitoring Hank began blinking at a fast rate, then an alarm started sounding making Booth's face blanch.
"Help! Hey! I need help here!" he yelled as he ran to the doorway. He turned back and stared at Pops "I'm getting help. Don't go yet! I'm getting help!" he yelled pulling his phone from his pocket. He dialled Brennan "Hurry Bones. I think. He's not good! Hurry!" he yelled into the phone then dropped it as he ran back to Pops side.
He picked up his hand and held it tightly, he shook Pops by the shoulder with his other hand "Come on, Pops. Pops!"
He was pushed aside by nurses and a young doctor he hadn't seen before.
"Please sir, if you could just wait outside the room"
"No! No Way! I'm staying here!" he yelled back at the nurse who was already heading back to Pops.
Booth paced up and down, trying to see exactly what they were doing. He stood up on his tippy toes trying to see what they were doing.
The nurses and doctors basically formed an impenetrable circle around the old man. Booth could hear the whiz of the paddles firing up. He closed his eyes and hear the bang as they were applied. Again. And again. And
"Booth!" Brennan's voice distracted him.
He turned and felt her arms wrap around him tightly, her lips pressed to his cheek.
"I got here as soon as I could. I was just down at the coffee shop thankfully" she said breathing heavily. She turned and looked at what was happening. "Do you want me to go and ask them anything?" she offered. Booth shook his head and tightened his hold on her. He didn't say anything. He didn't need to.
It seemed like an hour later when the doctor turned and said the words he had hoped wouldn't come.
"time of death"
He didn't hear anything else. Booth pulled away from Brennan and ran over to the bed, staring down at his beloved grandfather. Tears filled his eyes, making it impossible to see Pops face clearly. He rubbed his face on his sleeve roughly. His throat felt like it had a massive lump in it.
"Pops" he croaked. He felt Brennan come up behind him. The doctor and nurses quietly left them with Hank Booth, telling them to take their time saying goodbye.
"Pops. Did you hear me? Did you know how much I love you?" he turned and looked at Brennan "Do you think he knew?"
Brennan was having trouble keeping her tears at bay "Of course he knew. He's always known Booth" she managed to say. Her voice was soft, soothing, and full of love for him.
They stayed with Hank for about half an hour. Booth would hug him every now and then, smooth his hair, hold his hand. Finally he stood up and looked at Brennan. "It's time." he said softly.
He started packing up the coffee machine. Brennan poured the left over milk down the bathroom sink. She packed up his clothes and asked Booth what they should do with them. Booth shook his head. "I'm taking his scarf, and his blanket. You can leave the rest here. They can donate them or something. I don't want to take them with me." He stopped and looked at the coffee machine and frowned "We don't need this." he said.
Brennan lay her hand on his arm "On our way out, I'll tell the nurse at the desk that they can have it for their staff room. But" she picked up the two mugs she bought "I'm keeping these beautiful mugs" she said placing them in a large plastic bag with the blanket and scarf."
Booth grabbed the photo frames and put them in the bag too. He stood looking around the room, then walked over and kissed Pops once more on the forehead. He could feel he was already cold and it was a shock to him. He pulled back and stared at his face one last time, then walked over to Brennan.
"OK. Let's go" he said.
She nodded and looked over at Pops. She knew that they still had some pain to go through arranging the funeral. But for now, Booth needed some breathing space.
They walked together to the door, Booth stood aside and let Brennan go through first. He turned and looked one last time at the man who had truly been the best father a boy could wish for.
Goodbye old man he whispered.