He knew it was fucked up, but he was having a hard time looking at Cas right now. No, not hard! Nothing is hard! Dean is perfectly not hard!

The memory, and several similar ones danced around in his head, taunting him.

How had he not seen it before?

He had been jerking off to the sight and sound of Castiel for over a year. He had discovered the web page, which evidently brought in his income, late one lonely night and never stopped going back.

It wasn't like he visited the sight every day. Maybe once a month? Dean was capable of picking people up but every so often, when he didn't have time or the energy...

"Dean?"

He had to readjust himself in his pants, as he forced himself to meet the others' eye, "hm? Oh, uh, nothing. These eggs look great."

He dug into his food, any excuse not to look up at the man sitting across from him at the table. The man who had been the fantasy of his dreams for over a year, who he slept with last night, who is cooking him breakfast in his apartment, and looks 10x sexier with bed head.

He could feel Castiel's eyes on him, burning holes into his skull. He didn't need to look up to know that he was wearing a scowl on his lips.

"Dean?"

He palmed at his growing member, cursing biology for morning wood, "hm?"

"You won't look at me."

There was silence. Dean tries to convince himself to look up but every time he almost did, he chickened out. He feared what he would do if he gazed into those never ending sea of fluorescent blues.

The silence stretched on until it was broken by the sound of a fork scraping against plate, Cas grudgingly picking at his food, "and that," he punctuated with a vicious blow, "is why I didn't want to say anything."

Dean cleared his throat, the image of Cas being fucked over a kitchen counter top by a blond haired British man flashing through his head. And over the back of a couch. And on his side... And from behind... Arms tied behind his back...

This was not going to be easy.

"Maybe you should go..."

That finally caught his attention. Dean looked up, mid bite to see the other man still playing with his food. A mix of anger, defiance, and hurt swirled over his features and it made Dean's heart sink a bit.

"Cas, I-"

"No, no, you don't have to say anything. I get it. Fuck, I'm used to it."

Dean drew his eyes in confusion, did he think-?

Dean swallowed the food in his mouth, "No, hey, it's not like that."

"Are you kidding me? You won't even look at me, Dean. So, let's skip it."

This was going very bad, very fast. Dean set his fork down, wiping his hands on his pants before he stood up. Cas didn't look up from his plate, probably expecting Dean to leave now that he gave him an out.

Instead, Dean came around to his side of the table, he reached down, grabbing a hold of the chair leg and used his strength to turn Cas' chair so he was facing him.

Cas looked at him in surprise and almost looked affronted. Dean took the fork from his hand, setting it down and swooping in to kiss his lips. He rested his hands on the other man's knees, spreading them open so he could lean in close. When he pulled back, he put on what he hoped was his most reassuring grin, "Hey, come on, listen to me."

Cas was gauging him again, crossed between wanting to be mad and wanting to kiss him again.

"You really want to know what I'm thinking?"

Cas nodded slowly.

"It's gonna sound weird... And I didn't say this because I'm worried it'll freak you out. Or just make things weird between us... But I'd rather say it than you hate me because you think I'm judging you."

"Can't be any weirder that what I just told you."

"Debatable." He took in a deep inhale, gathering his strength, "The other day, when we started talking in line at the grocery store... I swore I knew you... From somewhere. I thought we may have met before. And when we were out last night, I still thought I recognized you. And- and what you just told me... I realized I had seen- I recognized you from..."

"Online?"

Dean nodded slowly, his gaze fallen, "But hey, you can judge me too if you want but- yes. I watch porn. I've seen you. Online... In just about every video. And it's weird, because-" he couldn't help but smile, glancing up at the ceiling before recapturing the other's gaze, "because I feel like I'm fangirling right now. Cas, you intimidate me. You intimidate me, because I have literally had wet dreams because of you and we hadn't even met."

Cas was searching him for truth and he tried to be as open as possible, "I mean, you- I had decided, in my head, that the idea of you was my dream guy... And then I met you. It didn't click right away, but you are funny, and smart, and considerate, and sexy, and... awesome-" Dean leaned in again to claim his lips, letting this one last a bit longer as his stomach did flips because he was kissing him back, "you're like... My celebrity crush and then I met you and it's 100x better because you're so nice and human... And-"

Cas launched forward, wrapping his arms around Dean's neck and forcing their lips back together. They stumbled backwards, nearly falling over.

Cas pushed him up against the nearest wall, "I hate you." He demanded entrance to Dean's mouth, breathing into him, "I really- really hate you."

Dean wasn't %100 sure what was going on but he liked it.

Cas ripped at his pants, undoing the button and pulling the zipper down. He trailed kisses down Dean's neck, "you can't just say shit like that- you can't just- be like that."

Getting on his knees, Cas pulled his pants down, a look of sudden understanding coming over him. Dean's cock sprung free, achingly hard and waiting, he glanced up at Dean, "Oh."

Dean breathed a chuckle, "Um, yeah."

Cas licked his lips, eyes half lidded in arousal. His tongue darted out to taste the tip, swirling around it before his lips enclose the head. Expertly, he wrapped a hand around the base, stroking in time as he began to bob his head.

As his breathing picked up, Dean pulled his shirt up and over his head. Cas began twisting his wrist as he swirled his tongue and Dean had to brace the wall to stop his knees from buckling.

"Oh Christ- shit." Dean couldn't take his eyes off of Cas, the way his cock disappeared into the warmth of the other man's mouth was intoxicating. He felt like he was in one of Cas' videos.

"O-oh, fucking shit, Cas. I believe you. If I didn't before- I definitely do now."

The moment Cas pulled off of him, smiling up at him, Dean swooped down and hoisted him off of the floor.

Cas made a little noise of surprise but wrapped his legs around Dean's waist none the less.

Their mouth's crashed back together, a fierce battle of tongue and teeth. Dean was the luckiest guy in the world.

It was a little uncomfortable, what with his damp cock being trapped between them, but Dean managed to carry Cas back to his bedroom, breakfast all but forgotten.

Laying him down on the bed, Dean sprawled out on top of him, running his tongue up the other man's neck. He nipped and sucked at the veins protruding there, sneaking his hands up the other man's tank top.

Cas pulled him up for another kiss before he pushed their foreheads together, trying to catch his breath, "Fuck me. Now, please."

Dean pushed their lips back together, a fleeting notion before he sat up, "I need-"

"Second drawer," Cas motioned towards the night stand.

Dean begrudgingly got up, rushing to the night stand and pulling open the second drawer as he was instructed. He paused a moment, looking over the contents. Cas had a variety of supplies. Condoms of various color and brands, several different flavors and sensations of lube, and a small collection of different toys.

Dean silently vowed to himself to try every combination of protection and prep. But that was for another day.

He picked out a Fire & Ice Trojan and a bottle of the friction warming lube, tossing them on the bed before dropping his pants completely.

Cas followed his example, pulling his own pants and boxers off. Dean bent back over him, flipping him over to admire his perk looking ass.

Instincts kicking in, Cas sat up on his knees to take his shirt off, Dean helping. He laid back down, shoving his face into the comforter and offering his ass up to the air.

This man was going to kill him.

Dean settled himself behind him, running a hand over a cheek and giving it an encouraging squeeze. An idea popped into his head and he decided to give it a shot. He had never eaten anyone out before.

He spread the other man's cheeks, running the tip of his tongue over his entrance.

Cas took in a sharp inhale, gasping out in surprise, "Dean," he groaned, pushing back a little in encouragement.

Dean released his cheeks momentarily to run his hands down Cas' thighs, "You're gonna have to stick with me here, I've never done this before."

Dean re-established his hold and repeated his previous action, this time circling his hole before pushing his tongue in a fraction.

Cas let out a little huff, readjusting his knees, patiently.

He pushed in as far as he could go, before retreating and repeating the action a few times.

Cas let out a moan beneath him and Dean paused to listen to it in triumph.

"Don't stop- you're doing- you're doing great."

Dean pulled out completely, running his tongue up Cas's thigh before plunging back in. He closed his lips around Cas' skin, adding pressure. Cas squirmed, "Okay, now stretch me out. But- but don't stop doing that."

Dean pulled back, eager to do as he was told, he stuck two fingers in his mouth, coating them in saliva. He teased his entrance again before pushing his middle finger in up to the second knuckle. Adding his tongue, Dean moved them in and out in one motion.

He worked on it a moment before adding a second finger, scissoring them along side this tongue.

When Cas started writhing, pushing back into him for more, Dean used his free hand to squeeze the other man's cheek.

"Dean- come on. I'm ready, please?"

Dean pulled out admiring the work he did on Cas' pink hole. He ran both hands up Cas' sides, trailing one over his back on the way back down, "You like begging for it, don't you?"

It was border line dirty talk and Cas immediately responded to it, "Yes- Please, Dean? Just- fuck me?"

He ran his hands up and down Cas' thighs, pushing his legs farther apart. Holly shit, was this hot. Dean had never been so turned on in his life.

It was so easy. Sex was sex, sure. But there were so many things Dean only ever dreamed about trying. With Cas, he felt like he could do anything. He felt safe. And he felt horny. Unbelievably horny.

Dean took a hold of his cock, rubbing the shaft between Cas' cheeks, the head catching on his entrance. He enjoyed the sensation before he knelt back, retrieving the condom and lube.

He ripped the packet open impatiently, rolling it over his length. He stroked himself a couple of times before opening the lid and depositing a decent amount of lube into his hand. He rubbed it over himself, using the excess to run over Cas' waiting hole as he lined himself up.

"Son of a bitch- you are so hot." He pushed in, pausing at the head for a moment before going further. When he bottomed out, he let out a suppressed moan, "feel so good" he let his head fall back as the warm sensation, promised by the lube, set over him, swallowing him up.

Cas balled up a fist into the tangled blankets, rutting back against him, "Fuck, your cock is so big- feels so good."

Dean messaged the other man's back, encouraging him to stay relaxed. He bent over, bringing his lips to the skin of Cas shoulders and neck, leaving a trail of sloppy open mouthed kisses. The action pulled them closer together and Dean used the angle to pull out before slamming back in again. He let the course of pleasure sit on both of them a moment before he started up a moderate rhythm.

When he picked up speed, he ran with the overwhelming instinct to shove his tongue down Cas' throat. He forced the other man to turn his head, kissing him deeply, trying to portray as much gratitude as possible.

Cas moaned into his mouth, "Mm, yes- fuck, Dean- don't stop."

"So fucking good, baby- Christ- it's so fucking good-"

Dean changed angles, his head hanging as he rested a forearm to one side of Cas' head. The man beneath him let out a loud moan, "Oh, fuck! Yes, yes- right there- don't stop! Don't stop!"

Figuring he found Cas' prostate, he focused of hitting it over and over again, loving the sounds Cas was making. His partner didn't seem to have any care for volume and his words of encouragement were driving Dean over the edge.

He wrapped a hand around Cas' waist, finding his cock bobbing between him and the blanket. He wrapped a strong hand around it, stroking him in time with his thrusts.

Holly shit. This was a dream come true. This was a LITERAL dream come true. Dean was currently fucking the single hottest man on the planet, and he was calling his name. He must be dreaming. Because there was no way he was actually getting to feel how this man's hole felt clenched around his dick. No way he could feel the fire nearly overstimulating him because of the products they were using. Absolutely, no way, could he be hearing Castiel, the famous pornstar, moaning and choking on his name because of him.

He bit down on Cas shoulder momentarily, breathing in his ear, "oh fuck- fuck, fuck! Cas, baby, fuck- I'm cumming- I'm cumming."

He tensed up roughly, squeezing onto Cas, hard, his limbs curling around the other man as his hips snapped in an impossible speed. The heat between them exploded and he had to clench his eyes shut, "Oooooh, fuck."

Not skipping a beat, Dean's hand picked up the pace, desperate to get the other man off.

Cas continued to writhe beneath him, bucking his hips into Dean's hand. He didn't pull out, letting the warm feeling of his cum mix with that of the lube inside of his partner.

He sucked into Cas' neck, leaving fresh marks to accompany the ones from last night. Cas pushed his head back against Dean's shoulder, finally cumming loudly, "Ah! Dean! Yes!"

His load splattered all over the comforter, trailing down Dean's hand.

Dean moaned into Cas' neck, dragging his tongue over every bit of skin as he milked Cas of his orgasm.

He didn't stop until Cas was a heaving, sweating mess, words now gone.

He pulled out, Cas immediately collapsing, stretching his legs out and trying desperately to breath. Dean collapsed on top of him, running his hands up and down the other man's sides. He brushed some hair from off his forehead, bringing their lips together.

"Holly- wow. That was-" Dean didn't know what to say.

"Amazing?" Cas smiled against his lips, still trying to take full control of his breaths.

Smiling against his skin, Dean laughed. He reluctantly rolled off of Cas, figuring it would be easier for him to breath without him crushing him. Cas found strength to cuddle up to him, and Dean was thankful when Cas rested his head in his shoulders, throwing an arm over his chest and tangling their legs together.

They laid there, completely naked and covered in bodily fluids, too tired to crawl under the blankets for nearly 20 minutes. By then, Dean wrapped an arm around Cas, fingertips trailing patterns in the other man's hair.

He had thought Cas had fallen asleep before his grainy voice cut through the silence, "so how does this work"

Resting his eyes, Dean cracked one open, "hm?"

"This. Us. I don't think I can see anybody else after you. You ruined me. In one weekend, you ruined every other man for me."

Dean couldn't help but chuckle, a rumbling sound deep in his chest, "Good. I don't think I want you to see anyone else."

There was a long silence, one where Dean knew Castiel had more to say, "I know. But it's not that simple... You know how I make money. And even if I did stop, I told you before- it's hard to really stop."

"I know," Dean mumbled. He hadn't really thought that part over. How did he feel about that?

Cas sat up, an elbow on either side of him so that he was looking directly at Dean, "have you ever thought about it?"

Dean furrowed his brow in confusion.

"What would you think about doing it with me? This might sound crazy, but what if I kept doing it... But only with you or by myself?"

This time his eyebrows rose. Now THAT had never crossed his mind. He had never done anything like that before. It was crazy. But-

He wanted to be a normal person and say no. That that was messed up and no foundation for a healthy relationship. But for some reason-

He was strangely comfortable with it.

This could quite literally be the man of his dreams. He was guaranteed sex on a regular basis. He was willing to compromise. And Castiel was an amazing person, not just in bed.

He rolled the idea over in his head, "Can I ask you a few things?"

Cas laid down on top of him, his chin resting on Dean's chest as those breathtaking eyes locked with his, "Anything."

Dean mulled it over, several questions forming in his head, "How does it work? The process of filming?"

"Well first you set up the cameras, and decide what angles will work best for the scenario."

Dean nodded.

"Then, usually, I'd pre-prep myself. Make sure my body is open. Sometimes I even do stretches."

Dean smiled.

"We'd run over a basic game plan. What positions we'd want to do, who was dominating who, discuss if there was going to be any themes."

"Themes?"

"Like, if we wanted to induct any kinks. If we want it to be soft or hard. If there would be any roughness and if so, we'd go over safe words. It could be punishment, or if the end game were you getting me to beg or call you something, then we'd know how far it would go. We'd set a line. For instance, if it were 'hard-core' then we'd decide that there would be name-calling, pinning, slapping. But we don't want to get too extreme so we'd red flag things like choking or gagging. Just so we both know we're the line is. Sometimes we'd even come up with a story, something kinky, like I'm a house sitter, home all alone and you 'break in' to the house and tie me up and have your way with me."

Dean gulped, that was reasonable, "Then what?"

"Then, we'd roll all the cameras, test them to make sure that the lighting is good and that they were working properly."

"Okay."

"And then we'd do some form of introduction. A brief prelude to why or what was about to happen."

"And then we'd do it?"

"And then we'd do it. Some things might vary from the original plan. You know, swept up in the moment."

"Then what do we do with the footage?"

"We'd run over it, watch them all to see if it came out nicely and even mark any parts we liked. Then, I send it to my editor."

"You have an editor?"

"Yeah, an old friend of mine. He'll watch over the footage, take into account any of our notes and he will cut together a final product."

"Hm."

"Then, he'll send it into the publishers of any sight we chose to have it displayed on. I usually use the same 3 sights but we get to chose which ones."

"Okay..."

"Once they review the video, they'll tag it under a name, credit my account, and then we get paid above-the-line."

"Above-the-line?"

"Yeah, automatic transfer pays us a down payment for allowing them to use it and then continues to put money into the account with every view. It's only 15 cents a view, but if they keep running it for years, then we make money for as long as they chose to display it."

"Shit. I never knew the whole thing was so technical."

"You get used to it. I've had 4 spotlight appearances, so technically, I'm SAG eligible."

"You're what?"

"It's an actors union. If I paid the entrance fee and did all of the paper work, they would sign me with an agent and I could start acting in non-pornographic films. But, it's this huge hassle and I'm not much of an actor."

"Wow."

"Mhmm."

"So, um- that guy. The British guy... Are you two a thing?"

Cas huffed in amusement, "Balthazar? Do you think we'd be having this conversation if he and I were a thing?"

"Balthazar? Castiel? Are those like stage names or something? No offense but those are some pretty odd names."

Cas smiled, "Unfortunately not. Balth and I met in college, we bonded over in the weird-name-club. He was the one who go me into porn actually."

"Really? That's kinda weird."

"Not too much. We started hanging out and Balth is far from quiet about what he does. He told me all about it and introduced me to his buddy, Gabriel, who is my current editor, and he convinced me to try it. Pretty sure he was just trying to swoon me by telling me I had a face for television."

Dean was quiet, taking all of this in.

"So when I said I'd be willing to give it a shot, Balth was the one who walked me through my first time. I was more comfortable with someone I knew. But- the one we did got really big on the Internet, so we did another. And people just seemed to love us together. So, in a way, we kind of became business partners."

There was another question, just on the tip of his tongue but Dean was too embarrassed to ask it, not wanting to seem demanding.

"Dean?"

"Hm?"

"You look like you want to say something?"

"Nah."

"Dean, the only way this will work is if we are open and honest with each other."

Dean searched his features, he let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding, "Do you still see him?"

"As in?"

"Like, do you still work with him?"

"Balthazar? No. We had a falling out a while back. He got engaged, so we stopped making videos together. But we still see each other, just as friends. We'll have lunch and catch up but nothing else."

That was a relief. Dean didn't think this would work if he had to compete.

They stayed quiet for a good while, Dean trying to decide if there were any other crucial questions he had to ask. When he couldn't think of any, he decided, "Okay. I want to try it."

Cas perked up at this, "Really?"

"Yeah. Why not? You only live once, right?"

Cas leaned in to kiss him, obvious appreciation being conveyed.

When he pulled away, Cas was smiling from ear to ear, content with the way this conversation turned out.

Dean couldn't help but smile back, "So, one more thing. What's it like?"

"Making the videos?"

"Yeah."

"It's... Incredible. It's the best kind of high. Sex it great, but nothing compares to the thrill of knowing you're being filmed. Knowing that thousands of people are going to see you so naked and vulnerable. It's... Addictive."