"Hey, I'm going into town today to get some shopping done, you wanna come?"

Dean juggled his cellphone between his head and shoulder as he carried his laundry upstairs. After getting off of work a bit early, he decided to do some chores, all of which were boring as hell.

"Ah, my knight in shinning armor, perfect. Yeah, gives me an excuse not to do the dishes."

Dean could hear Cas' smile over the phone and it filled him with warmth, "You know, I don't feel morally sound being your distraction to shirk your responsibilities."

"Well," Dean said, "you are pretty distracting."

Cas chuckled.

Dean began vaguely folding his clothes, not really worried if they stay perfect, "What'd you have in mind?"

"I was thinking about going to the town center, pick up a few things for around the house. I need some new jeans, and I wanted to go to the bookstore to see if they have a new release I've been waiting for. Was thinking we could pick up some lunch and hang out for a bit?"

Dean folded a shirt, the sleeves uneven and the ends wrinkling, "Alright but I'm not carrying any bags."

"Fine by me, you wanna just meet me there or-"

"Nah, I'll pick you up. It'd be like a real date."

Cas chuckled again, "Alright than."

"Okay, so I'll head over?"

"Yeah, I'm ready whenever you are. And, Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"You really should do your dishes."

Dean scoffed in mock offense, "Why would I do that when I'm having lunch with you? And if I don't have any clean dishes here, then I guess I'll just have to have dinner with you too."

"Just get here," Cas laughed.

Grinning himself, Dean matched his last pair of socks, "I'll be there in 10."

When Dean pulled up in front of Cas' apartment he was just descending the front steps. Cas eyed his car, letting out a whistle.

Dean leaned out the window, smiling like a child on Christmas morning, "She's a beaut, ain't she?"

Cas crossed in front of his baby and slid into the passenger seat, "Looks good. Handsome guy, handsome car. Makes sense."

Dean made a face of false offense as he pulled away from the curb, "Why, Castiel, are you trying to seduce me?"

"Maybe. Is it working?"

"Rule #1: the way to a man's heart, is through his car. So yes, it's working."

"Mission success."

Dean glanced over to take Cas in, appreciating his choice of dark wash jeans and a white button up. He looked simply edible.

Cas caught him staring, pushing Dean's arm playfully, "Eyes on the road."

They drove for about 10 minutes over light chitchat and witty banter until they fought for parking at the town center. The place was alive with fall shoppers, all trying to prepare themselves for the winter season.

When Dean cut off the engine, he laid a hand in Cas' arm, stopping him from getting out, "I have to warn you, if I'm going to be forced to shop through big crowds of annoying people, I'm going to hold your hand."

The other man perked up at this, "Good, I wouldn't want you to get lost."

"Yeah, exactly, there are a lot of people out there."

"Exactly."

They were silent for a moment before Cas leaned in to kiss him tenderly, enjoying the feeling. It amazes Dean, how rough and sharp Cas could be, only to reveal a soft and compassionate nature a moment later.

Cas leaned back, attempting to get out of the car again before Dean pulled him back down, "wait," he smashed their lips back together again and laughed into this one as Cas jabbed at his sides in mock annoyance.

They exited the car, on the second floor of a local parking garage. Walking down the stairs, Dean couldn't help but notice what a nice day it was. The sun was shining brightly, leaves scattering the street. Sure it was cold out but when Cas glances back at him to make sure he was still behind him, the electric blue of his eyes, matching the sky, made him feel warm all over.

They descended onto the street, a steady flow of people milling over the concrete stream. Dean immediately strode to Cas' side, linking arms with him and interlacing their fingers.

Cas side eyed him in amusement and Dean huffed, "What? It's cold out."

Cas shook his head, leading the way, "You're incredible."

"What?"

"Nothing. I was thinking we could look at jeans first?"

"Whatever you want. Usually I would complain about cloths shopping but it gives me an excuse to compliment your butt so-" he shrugged, "you know."

Cas laughed, "You caught me, that's the only reason I invited you. I need the validation. And I know you won't lie to me."

"How do you know I won't lie?"

"Because you're a terrible lier."

Dean made a face, "I like to think I'm just an honest man."

"Don't get me wrong, that's what I like about you."

The pair strode up to a designer looking store, something Dean would only buy one or two pairs of pants from for formal events. They navigated their way around the cluster of shoppers, scanning the wracks for Cas' preferred brands and size.

Dean found a seat between the isles, making himself comfortable as he watched his boyfriend pick out pairs.

Hm. Boyfriend.

Was that what Cas really was to him? Dean would like that. But they had never really put a definite name to what they were. To Cas he may just be regular sex, but Dean didn't want to think about that now.

Cas asked him for his opinion every so often, expressing his need for comfort and style if he was going to be paying so much for them.

He retreated to the changing rooms with four pairs, Dean trailing after him and relocating himself to one of the seats just outside of Cas' room.

The first two, Dean liked, but the buyer wasn't in love with them.

It was when he stepped out of the changing room wearing the third that he knew Cas had already made his choice.

He stepped out with a sure, confident smile on his face, extending his arms out to let Dean see, "I think these are it."

Cas rotated in place, his smile growing when he saw Dean staring.

There was something about them that Dean agreed with. There was nothing special about them, they were form fitting and that dirty navy blue that suggested they were new. But as Dean tried to form the words to tell Cas that he liked them, he had to readjust himself in his own pants.

They looked great, sure, but it wasn't really the pants. It was the way they made Cas look in the pants. The way they made Cas feel. Cas liked them, and they made him seem more confident and sure of himself. It was the way that Cas walked in them, determined steps accompanied by a slight sway to his hips that said, 'Look at me. I'm hot and I know it.'

Dean liked it when Cas was confident in himself.

Cas bought the pants, having tried on the fourth pair just to be sure. They walked out of the store with a single bag threaded around Cas' arm, his other snaking around Dean's bicep, keeping him close. He noticed a few people watching them, most likely out of interest or disgust. Sure it was a golden-age for open sexuality, but it didn't mean people were used to seeing it. Dean didn't mind though, he liked being reminded that his own days of being self-conscious were over. And even though they had only met 2 weeks ago, he liked knowing Cas was comfortable with him in public too.

Together they walked down to the book store, a three story labyrinth of every book imaginable. Cas didn't bother browsing through the sections, opting to look up his desired read on the stores computer system.

Dean was a little surprised to see Cas look up: The Physics of SiO2 and it's Interfaces, only to find out that they did not yet have it.

Physics? Cas wanted to pick up a book on physics? For fun? Just because he wanted to read it?

He filed away that little bit of information, pretending to examine a row of sci-fi novels.

They stopped at a diner on the edge of the square, advertising their signature burgers. They got a booth for two, conversation flowing easily. Dean talked about his family, his younger brother and parents, enjoying the way Cas seemed enthralled in his animated story telling. Dean probed him about the book he had been looking for, coaxing Cas into telling him a little bit about his college life.

Evidently, Cas had been majoring in biophysics, a field of science that Dean knew little about. In fact, the more Cas talked about his studies in quantum mechanics, the more Dean was confused. Because he thought it was all just science. Did there really need to be so many sub-fields?

He was sure that the conversation was slow on Cas' end, having to stop and try to explain every large word that he used. Most of it flew over his head but he got the general idea of what his date was talking about.

Dean didn't mind so much. He began purposely asking questions, if only to see the way Cas' eyes lit up and his speed of talking increased as he went into details of his school days.

When Dean asked why he decided to take a leave from school, when he was obviously so passionate about it, he shut down, waving the question away and changing the subject. He didn't pry, but he really wanted to know what the answer was now.

The day was spent with a lot of walking around and goofing off. After eating some burgers, which were not as great and the advertisement said, the pair made their was back to Cas' place just before sundown.

He could hardly believe that he wasted the day away so quickly, his stomach filling up with fuzz when Cas invited him in.

They opted to watch a movie, cuddled up on the couch after ordering a pizza for dinner.

Dean was pushed up against the wall of the cushions, Cas laying down in front of him, an arm wrapped around his waist. He rested his head on the crown of the other man's head, Star Wars Return of the Jedi playing on the tv.

Dean absentmindedly stroked his thumb over Cas' clothed abdomen, the other man melting into his embrace. He was admittedly sleepy, his eyes lulling as he watched Luke Skywalker and Han Solo battle the pit monster on Tatooine.

He breathed deeply and the smell of vanilla shea butter caressed his senses. He hummed in contentment, tightening his hold on the warm body beside him, "You smell good."

"I shower."

There was silence as Dean settled, his lips forming around a question before he could process it, "What are we?"

"Hm?"

"Us. What is this?"

Cas was silent for a long time, his head turning so he could see Dean in his peripherals as he contemplated, "What do you want to be?"

It was Dean's turn to think, his eyes still watching the action on the screen but his mind floating miles away, "Earlier, when we were shopping, I thought of you as my boyfriend."

Cas was still watching out of the corner of his eye, waiting for him to continue.

Dean took a deep breath, the smell of shea butter filling his nostrils again, "I liked it. I liked it a lot actually. But if that's not what you want then I don't want to get my hopes up."

Cas turned so he was laying on his back, a quarter of his form hanging off the couch. He rested a hand on Dean's chest to keep himself from falling, his other hand tucked behind his head. He looked up at Dean with an overflowing amount of life, his lips turned up a fraction, like he was trying not to smile, "You thought of me as your boyfriend?"

Dean broke eye contact, searching off into space, "Yeah. But I didn't want to get my hopes u-"

Cas leaned up to peck him on the lips, "Will you be my boyfriend, Dean?"

Dean couldn't help but smile at the sheer cliché snappiness of the moment, his eyes darting around before finally settling back on his target. When he replied, his voice was low and content, "Hm, well, I'll have to think about it. Yeah, okay, I think I can do that. Yes, yes I'll be your boyfriend."

Cas smiled up at him, bringing their lips back together to simply seal the deal.

Cas turned his head back to watch the movie, the conversation at an end.

Or so Dean thought. A few minutes went by before Cas was grinning ear to ear, trying to hold in a laugh. Without looking at him, barely a whisper of contained humor, Cas said, "Will you be my daddy too?"

Cas was trying not to laugh at his own joke but lost it when Dean buried his face in the crook of his neck with laughter. He poked and prodded at Cas' sides, teasing him for making such a cheap joke.

"Oh, I'll be your daddy." He shifted over Cas, bringing their lips back together. The other man shuffled beneath him, wrapping an arm around his back and over his neck, kissing back.

The pair made out for a good 20 minutes, until the buzzer rang, indicating the arrival of their pizza.

They sat side by side, knees and shoulders pressed together on the couch as they ate, enjoying the rest of the movie.

When it was over, the end credits playing the series classic score, Dean looked over to see Cas laying back against the couch, nodding off.

He cleared up a bit of the mess, surprised to see that Cas did not stir. Be leaned over, kissing his lips, coaxing him awake.

"Hey, I should get going." Dean said, reluctantly as Cas blinked tiredly up at him.

They said their goodnights, a single parting kiss turning into another short make-out session by the front door.

As Dean descended the stairs, the fleeting idea struck him that he was officially, not a single man. The idea would usually be crushing to him, a weight of commitment holding him down. He did feel that familiar lace of something impending, something he wasn't sure about, but it was overpowered by the joy of being accepted.

Dean sat, admittedly nervous, on the foot of Castiel's bed. The bed that he had already defiled and watched Cas defile over and over again.

Cas was currently in the bathroom, doing his 'pre-prep', insisting that he do it in private to avoid Dean jumping his bones. Cas was probably right. However, that just gave Dean more time to dwell on his nerves.

Together, they had set up three camcorders, placing them on tripods, their lenses cleaned. Cas had walked him through how to set up the lighting system and what he considered a standard set up.

Cas emerged from the other room, looking relatively normal and well put together.

Ass. How could he look so perfect, when Dean was trying not to have a panic attack? Maybe he wasn't cut out for this.

Cas' lips turned up into a warm grin when he zeroed in, making a bee-line for him. The lights where already on, blinding the outside world around him and it made him feel like he was in an observation tank.

Cas glanced at the fold out screen on the center camera, flipping a switch on the settings and then nodding to himself. He stepped over one of the power cables and approached the bed, running a hand trough Dean's hair, "You know, you don't have to do this if you don't want to. Even if we do film it, we don't have to send it out. Not until you sign the waver."

Dean nodded, looking up through his lashes at Cas. The lights around him illuminated the other unnaturally, the filtered light outlining him in an almost angelic silhouette. He skimmed a thumb over the inside of Cas' wrist, "I know. But, I'm not going to think about it now. I want to do this. And if I hate it after its done, then..."

"Then we can burn it. Or- if you just want to keep it..."

Dean laughed, "That does make me feel a bit better." He took a deep breath, nodding again, "alright, let's do this thing."

"Hold on," Cas said, both hands coming up to fix Dean's hair, styling it. He pulled at the collar of Dean's button up, straightening it. He took a moment to cup Dean's face in both hands, laying a quick, reassuring kiss on his lips.

Cas retreated behind the first camera. Before he hit record, he looked back up at Dean, "Just remember Dean, at any point you want to stop, just tell me and we'll stop. I need you to be honest with me, if there is any point that you don't want to do this, than we won't."

He couldn't help but smile as he nodded, taming his nerves.

Cas hit record on all three cameras, three red lights coming on to indicate that the show was on the road. Cas circled back to the front one, pausing a second behind the center camera before he came to sit down next to Dean on the bed. The man wrapped an arm around his waist, his other hand coming to run a path up and down Dean's thigh.

"Hey guys, I'd like you to meet a fresh face."

Dean smiled, his eyes glued to the side of Cas' face, focusing on how his lips formed around every word. It was amazing to watch how quickly Cas set into this. Naturally, he was not afraid to be center stage and take the lead and for that, Dean was grateful.

Cas turned to find him staring, bringing their lips together. He quickly deepened the kiss and for a moment Dean forgot all about the cameras and the blinding lights. There was just Cas and the tenderness of his lips on his, encouraging him, guiding him, keeping him safe.

Dean brought a hand up to cup Cas' cheek, tilting his head slightly and parting his lips so Cas could sink his tongue in.

They kissed for a few minutes, carried away, as their hands began to roam.

Cas pulled back, his kiss-swollen lips pulled up in the most charming grin. He sat up, dipping a finger under Dean's shirt and caressing his skin, "Schootch up. Back against the headboard."

Dean followed his order, making his way to the top of the bed, his back against the cool wood of the headboard, legs stretched out. Cas crawled up the bed, crawling over his legs to lay one more kiss in his lips.

When he pulled away, Dean couldn't see anything but those blue eyes and the way the lights made him look like an angel.

His partner was looking at him like he was about to eat him alive and as he undid Dean's pants and pulled them off, he figured he wasn't too far off.

Cas sat up a moment to take off his own shirt. He bent down, forcing Dean's legs apart and swiftly pulled Dean's boxers down, his cock already hard and waiting.

He was already breathing heavier than usual, the presence of the cameras looming in the back of his mind. Cas licked his lips, staring up at Dean in a way that said 'stay with me'. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself, focusing on nothing but Cas.

The moment his tongue darted out to lick up his shaft, that was no problem. Dean put both hands above his head, gripping at the top of the headboard for stability.

Cas took him into his mouth, moaning around his length. Dean watched him work, pupils dilated in arousal. Dean managed to refrain from bucking his hips up into that moist heat, letting his jaw fall open.

He watched as Cas bobbed his head up and down, eyes closed as he took in as much as he could without gagging. Which was a lot.

Bent over, Cas popped the button to his own pants, palming at his need through the fabric. As planned, Dean leaned over Cas as he worked, tentatively sneaking a couple of fingers beneath his waist band and pushing the pants down around his ass.

He rubbed at Cas cheeks, before running a hand up Cas' spine to rest on the nape of his neck, guiding his movements.

Cas pulled off of him for a moment to push his pants and boxers down all the way, bunching them around his ankles before kicking them off the side of the bed.

Castiel now knelt, completely naked and exposed. Dean was envious of that fearlessness and couldn't help but relish in it when Cas plunged back onto him, taking nearly all of Dean into his mouth in one go.

Dean threw his head back, letting out a strangled moan, Cas running a hand up and down his thigh to sooth him.

Cas picked up speed for a moment before he pulled off, a string of saliva connecting his cock to the other man's lips. The man broke it with his tongue, looking up at Dean as he stroked his leaking cock in one hand, asking if he was ready. Dean gave a subtle nod a lot easier than he would have imagined.

He melted when Cas released his cock, the hot weight resting against his stomach as Cas trailed both hands up his thighs. He straddled Dean, taking a hold of the collar of his button up and forcing their lips together in a filthy, wet kiss.

All Dean could taste was himself on the other's tongue. Cas slowly undid the buttons to his shirt as they made out, Dean's hands exploring every bit of skin he could reach.

When Cas got the last button and ran his hands up Dean's chiseled chest, he took his time in pulling his shirt off.

All though they were both completely exposed now, Dean still felt relatively covered thanks to having Cas draped over his front. He imagined Cas had planned that, wanting to act as a barrier between him and the cameras for Dean's first time, protecting him.

He pulled Cas as close as possible in appreciation, making sure to express his gratitude in pleasure.

Dean wrapped a hand around Cas' untouched length and began pumping. The man arched into him slightly, mewling against his lips. He mouthed his approval into Dean, tangling his tongue around Dean's even deeper.

Cas pulled back, his breathing heavy. He starred into Dean's eyes, the piercing blue cutting deep into him and asking his very being if he was sure he wanted to continue.

Dean pulled him in for one more kiss to say 'yes' and when he pulled back, Cas was ready too.

He sat up on his knees above Dean, looking down on him as he lined himself up with Dean's cock. He pushed down carefully, letting the head relax the rim of muscles there before sinking down on him.

It was the first time they had done skin-to-skin and holy shit, if he thought Cas' ass was good before.

Cas took his entire length, seating himself on Dean's lap with a shallow moan.

He waited a moment to adjust to the new intrusion, his head back as he took steadying breathes. Dean bent in to kiss at his neck until Cas put his head down, capturing his lips.

Cas lifted up and started a slow rhythm, leaning into Dean, their mouths still working.

Dean clenched his hands around Cas' hips in pleasure, completely encased in their own little bubble.

Cas eventually pulled his lips away, resting his hands on Dean's strong shoulders and nuzzling their noses close together so he could breath. He picked up speed, unable to resist and Dean was thankful for the added friction.

As Cas built up a fast rhythm, bouncing on Dean's hungry cock, the sound of their sweat slicked skin making contact over and over again, Dean became hyper aware.

He really listened to the way Cas turned to breath in his ear, his voice rough and demanding as he slammed his hips down on him. He could feel their skin burning against one another, the primal need to fulfill their desires consuming them both. He was devoured in the way his cock felt, sensitive skin running against the hot, wet inside of his partner, plunging deeper and deeper.

What hit him the hardest however, was the awareness of the cameras. He had done a fairly good job up to this point of ignoring them but suddenly, the way they looked on camera together was all he could think about.

His veins were suddenly shot full of thrilling adrenaline, fueling him on. He took a bruising grip on Cas' hips, meeting his partners movements with vicious thrusts. He suddenly couldn't resist the urge to slam up into his man, wanting to take everything the other had to give.

Cas gasped and moaned loudly over him, taken by surprise of Dean's sudden enthusiasm.

What killed Dean even more was instead of just taking it, Castiel threw his head back in encouragement, fucking his hole down onto him harder, moaning, "Yes, fuck- oh yeah- harder- harder."

Dean thought he might explode from all of the pressure building up in him. All he could imagine was how this looked from the camera angles, if it looked as amazing as it felt. Dean moved his hold down to grip at Cas' ass, pulling his cheeks apart for the camera to see just how deep and fast he was going.

It was exhilarating. It was like the red lights on the front were cheering him on. Telling him to fuck harder, fuck deeper, fuck faster.

Cas still had a death grip on Dean's shoulder, one hand moved to give him better leverage on the headboard.

Dean was overwhelmed by a sudden urge, and though it was not part of their original plan, he couldn't resist.

Without warning, Dean slammed Cas onto his back, switching positions on the bed almost viciously. Cas let out a gasp in surprise, trying to get used to the new everything. He took the lead by force, the sudden need to dominate too strong. He forced Cas' legs as far apart as he could, slamming into the man beneath him with no regret.

And when he met the other man's eyes, he was surprised to see a new kind of aroused fire burning in those ocean blue orbs. Cas liked it when Dean took charge.

He was drunk on pleasure and power, desperately chasing his orgasm.

He wanted to run his tongue over every inch of Cas' pale skin, collecting every bead of sweat. He wanted to take the other man's cock all the way into his throat, swallowing every bit of cum. He wanted Cas to cum screaming his name so loud that when he left later, all of the neighbors would stare in embarrassment. He wanted to fuck Cas' hole so wide that it would stay open forever, leaking and ready.

He took a hold of Cas' beautiful cock, pumping it as fast as he could. A minute later and Cas nearly sobbed with his orgasm, his hands desperately clinging to him. He watched Cas' thick white cum drizzle out of his slit, shooting out to paint his own stomach. Cas moaned loudly through it, legs wrapped tightly around his waist.

It took Dean another minute or two of fucking into Cas' limp body, never letting up his pace. He was moaning freely now, wanting the cameras to catch every fiber of pleasure and excitement he was feeling right now. He tensed up hard, pounding into Cas as deep as physically possible and holding it there as he shot his load into the man beneath him.

Cas took it greedily, tightening his legs around Dean and whispering words of encouragement and praise. When he was sure he was rung out, he pulled out, bending over Cas and running his tongue through the puddle of cum pooled up on Cas' stomach.

Cas' breathing picked back up, his stomach retracting in and back out again as he tried to capture air, his legs falling from Dean's sides. He tried to lick up as much of Cas' seed as possible and somehow, the energy running his blood hot was not over.

He sat up, lifting Cas' legs up off of the bed and pulled his cheeks apart, trying to implement a classic porn technique that he always saw.

He thumbed at Cas' hole until his own cum began to leak out, opening his cheeks up wide for the cameras to see. He let it run down his crack for a moment before diving to lick it up off of his skin, his tongue teasing the sensitive hole as it retracted around nothing.

Cas let out a strangled moan as he tried to help hold his own cheeks apart. Dean sucked on the man's entrance, rimming him and tasting his own seed seep into his mouth.

He pulled off, the load still sitting in his mouth as he crawled up Cas' heaving and obviously fucked out body. He forced their lips together, sharing his spunk with his partner. Cas desperately clung to him, painfully tangling a hand in his hair and cocking his head to the side so he could kiss him as deeply as possible.

Cas let the shared cum dribble down between their lips as they kissed passionately, cleaning one another off.

His partner lavished the attention, licking at the damp smudges around Dean's face, hands running patterns over his back.

They breathed into one another for a moment, Dean still leaning over him, as they tried to calm their racing hearts. Castiel stared up at him in amazement, a twinge in his features that almost spelled astonishment. Cas heaved, running a hand through Dean's now damp hair, "Wow."

Dean couldn't help but chuckle humorlessly, trying and failing, to hide his own surprise. His limbs and stomach were tingling, his hands shaking ever so slightly.

He gazed down at Cas, searching for explanation or speculation, but when he found none, he shot up out of Cas' hold, turning off all three cameras.

He stood a moment, still shocked, the feeling in his feet still touch-and-go. He wasn't sure what to say, or if Cas' even wanted him to say anything. This may be his first time but Dean was pretty sure he wasn't supposed to just jump so far off course like that.

Cas cleared his throat, pulling the blankets over himself, "Uh- could you- mind getting the lights?"

It took him a moment to process the request, his knee locking and unlocking in anxiety, before he slowly ventured to the back of the systems, hitting the switch on both.

He still didn't know what to say. He hadn't meant for any of that to happen. At least not the way it had. He glanced up to see that Cas' breathing still hadn't calmed entirely, his blue eyes fixated on him in deep thought.

He feels like he may have over stepped a line. Cas had explained that this whole thing would only work if they where open and honest with one another. As long as they stuck to their word, they could trust each other to supply. That if they always made sure to ask for permission first, they would never run the risk of making each other uncomfortable.

Something Dean had not thought about when he was balls deep in Cas' delicious heat.

He stood completely naked, his softened cock hanging between his legs, "Cas, I-"

"Come lay down."

He hesitated a moment, Cas' stern tone spelling trouble. He felt like a dog with his tail tucked between his legs, afraid of being scolded. He knew he deserved it but that didn't mean he was looking forward to it.

He slowly approached the unoccupied side of the bed, hesitantly lifting the cover up before slipping in, its interior warm and cozy. A stark contrast to the way he felt inside.

The tingling in his limbs had stopped, but the hot tangle in his stomach did not.

Too scared to speak, he sat there, awkwardly, waiting for Cas to just explode already.

He did not, however, explode. The man beside him waited. He let his breathing settle back down to normal before he reached out, a hand tentatively and almost cautiously rubbed his forearm.

He could tell Dean was in turmoil, unable to speak about what had just happened. He tried to sooth him for a minute before his voice punctured the wall of silence. "What was that about?"

Instead of scolding, Cas' voice was smooth and sweet like honey. Like a parent asking their child about a bad dream that they had had.

Dean focused on his breathing, searching for the words to explain his near 180 in character. He didn't want to leave Cas waiting so he opened his mouth, hoping that the words would come to him, "I don't- I don't know."

He was quiet for a long while, "I'm sorry." He whispered, having never encountered a self reflection of persona like this before.

There was a long pause before Cas leaned over to kiss the corner of his mouth, the first that Dean could not bring himself to reciprocate. He felt awful, like he had betrayed Cas in some way. Yet, at the same time, it was as if some deep dark beast within him had finally been fed.

Cas scooted closer to him, the warmth from his creamy thighs radiating off of the sheets. His hand moved from Dean's forearm to his leg, rubbing little circles just above his knee. "It's okay. Hey, it's okay."

Dean finally forced himself to look at him, something dreadful running up the back of his spine, "Did I- Did I hurt you? When I…" He trailed off, not sure how to talk about it out loud. When he replayed it in his mind, the gasp that left Cas' mouth when he flipped him sounded almost painful.

"No, no, I was just- surprised was all. We hadn't exactly talked about doing that."

"I don't know what came over me. I'm sorry. I know I need to follow the plan-" It was pouring out of him now, "I shouldn't have- I know it was wrong. I was just so caught up in the whole thing. It's not fair to you, you did everything to make sure I was okay with this and I didn't even think-" he buried his face in one of his palms, "Shit- I'm sorry."

"Hey, hey, don't apologize. If you apologize then I…"

"What?"

"Then I feel dirty for admitting that I liked it…"

Dean looked back up, eyeing Cas, "Seriously?"

"It's fucked up. But yes."

Silence fell back over them. Dean felt a bit better with Cas' words, in fact, it had ignited something else. Among the tangle of that unfamiliar feeling still balled up in his stomach, a tiny fire was lit, one that relished Cas' approval of what he had done.

He slouched a bit in bed, snaking an arm around Cas' shoulder and pulling him closer. Cas curled up to him easily, his head resting on Dean's shoulder, his fingertips now running trails up his chest.

They basked in the afterglow, Dean still trying to sort out his thoughts when Cas split the silence once again, "So, what happened?"

Dean's nerves spiked at his words, but not in the same way they had before. This time, it was almost excitement.

"I don't know. I mean when you started the cameras, I thought I was about to hurl. You kissed me and I kinda forgot about it for a while. You were- you know giving me a blowjob and I was kinda just riding out the feeling."

"And then?"

"I told you, I don't know. It was like- something just opened up in side of me- the closer I got. I had totally tuned the cameras and lights out but- I was close to finishing and then- then all of a sudden, the cameras where the only thing I could think about. Well- I mean, obviously I was thinking about you. But-" he took a breath, shaking his head as he searched for the words to explain, "It was almost like I was out of my body. Like I was a viewer, watching from the outside. And- As a viewer, I just wanted to see more. Somehow- I was even more turned on by the idea of the cameras videoing."

Cas hummed, "That's not unnatural Dean."

"Really?"

"Of course not. Sounds like being recorded is just your kink. It happens all the time. That's why people make sex-tapes. It's thrilling. Like those people who screw with the blinds open because they hope someone will see them."

"Huh-"

"In fact-" Cas nuzzled his neck, "Why do you think I still do it?"

"Huh?"

"Honestly, I could get a normal job. It's not that hard. But- I told you before. I tried to quit but I just couldn't. Being filmed is like doing drugs. It gets me high. Its… addicting."

"Oh."

"And it sounds like to me, that you seem to get dominate when your high. That's why you top."

Dean thought about that for a long while, a question forming, "Does that mean- that you get submissive?"

Cas smiled against his skin, "Yeah, I'll admit it. When things are like that, and the blood is rushing 100 miles an hour… all I want is to be taken in every way possible. I want to be used. I like it when someone takes control of me. That's my kink. So you could say…" Cas paused, "That we fit together rather well in that regard."

"Um- I guess so. But… Are you sure? That that was okay?"

Cas lightly trailed his nails down Dean's chest, a hum of approval vibrating through his throat, "Baby, that was more than okay. That was- unbelievable. I liked that a lot."