Hello! The bad news- I only got chapter 5 and an intermission written rather than finishing the story today.
The Good News: Chapter 5 is 4196 words long. And I still didn't get to the scene I wanted to end it on! Oh, and the fic just passed 10,000 words!
Chapter 3
Tar
People are dripping black tar
It's taken a ship down so far
Don't wanna lose hope
But, here we are
Wishing to see the sunrise
But the sun doesn't rise in this sky
Black Tar covers most eyes
Thunder rumbled in the distance. Lao hated the rain, she remembered;
("This damn weather! Somebody fix this!" Red and Lao were alone, miles into Noctilum, soaked to the bone, filthy, and in worse moods by the minute. He looked over his shoulder. "What? Not even a laugh?"
She stared at him blankly. "That was a joke?"
"No. It wasn't," he growled. "Why? Why does it have to rain?"
"We are in a rainforest," she answered. He didn't laugh either. It would have been bad enough if the trip had started pleasantly, but these were the first words they'd said to each other since they'd left NLA.
Red had been avoiding him, to tell the truth. She'd found out a few days ago that his wife and daughter had died back on Earth, and… how did she respond to that? She already felt alienated from the rest of humanity for not remembering Earth, but this? She'd lost people dear to her too, probably. The man whose blood she tasted every morning was one of them she was sure, but the twinge she felt thinking about him couldn't possibly be as bad as losing someone you actually, y'know, remembered. Not to mention she'd just found out she wasn't actually in a human body recently, and she honestly wasn't sure how she felt about that.
Plan "If I don't talk to him, not knowing what to say won't be a problem" had been going smoothly too, until Doug had pointed out; "Woah, that objective is really out in the boonies. We need to get more probes in that area before it's safe for you Curators- actually, I think Lao's heading off that way on his next mission too! Hey, why don't you two go together!" And before she could say no, he'd already texted Lao and that was the end of things.
The rest of the trip up was uneventful- twenty minutes later the rain let up, and they arrived at the probe site a few hours later. Red had collected a backpack full of fruits and White Whale parts in remarkably good condition- even a functioning data unit, but she doubted a Crew Manifest would be very useful. It was on the way back that shit hit the fan.
Twelve miles from the nearest Base Camp, the drizzle turned into Tropical Thunderstorm Hell, complete with gale force winds. Two miles later, Red wandered into a scirpio nest and nearly got her leg torn off- Lao pulled her out of danger, but got bitten in the process. He insisted it was barely a scratch- and it really was- so they continued on.
The rain was so heavy Red couldn't see far ahead of her, so she'd elected to hold on to Lao's arm so they didn't get separated. Somewhere along the way, she'd taken the lead, but she barely noticed.
Until he collapsed.
The sudden yank on her arm nearly knocked her over. She grabbed his shoulder and bent down. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine, just got dizzy for a sec."
"You don't look okay. Are you sure?"
"Don't worry Charmaine, just give me a second..."
Definitely not okay, then. "Can you get up?"
"Do… I have to? Give me five more minutes, I'll still get to work… on time…"
And then he passed out.
Red groaned. She lifted him bridal-style, and retreated to the cave they'd passed through a few minutes earlier- though it was less of a cave than an arch, and not a particularly large one. She sat him against the wall and checked his arm. It was seeping bioplasma, and was a dark, greenish-grey color. She knew next to nothing about Mimeosome first aid, but Lin had said losing bioplasma was a Bad Thing when she'd gotten her arm ripped off, so Red tore off Lao's sleeve and wrapped it around the wound.
"Does it have to be so tight?" He hissed.
She hadn't realized he'd woken up. "Yes. Maybe. I don't know? Does bioplasma clot like blood?"
"No."
"Then probably yes."
He looked down at his arm, then rubbed his fingers together. "My hand is wet," he said matter-of-factly.
"Your whole body is wet." He scowled at that, like someone had told him to move his Skell at three in the morning. "I'm wet too," she added.
"That's good," he said.
"You like that I'm suffering with you?" She teased.
"I like making people suffer the same way I do. It's a character flaw," he added proudly.
"Well, at least you embrace your flaws," she laughed. He smiled at that- looked deep into her eyes and genuinely, truly smiled. The expression was so pure- no trace of the sadness or bitterness that always haunted his tiny smiles, made them closer to a smirk. Her throat clenched and her face flushed- what she felt in that moment was something she had never experienced in her short month of life. She had no name for it.
His face soured seconds later. "What are you?" He asked seriously.
"Huh?"
"These bodies- they aren't any more than puppets. They aren't alive. We aren't alive. The only thing that makes us human is our memory of being human. So… what are you?"
Red balled her fists. She wasn't the only one thinking it, then.
"Are you human? Or… are you a robot without a soul?"
Her eyes were burning. "Is that what you think of me?"
His eyes were filled with pity, but he said nothing.
"How do you feel about me, really…? Answer me!"
A smile pulled at the corners of his mouth. "I love you," he said.
For a second- several seconds- Red forgot to breathe. "W-what?"
"I love you, Charmaine."
And in an instant, she was burning. Of course he was talking to his wife. His eyes were glazed and unfocused, he wasn't even looking at her. Her embarrassment felt like it was choking her, peeling away her skin, pulling at her hair. This wasn't her moment. She was an intruder in a private moment between husband and wife, a peeping tom.
And then he kissed her.
It was gentle and soft, like he was afraid he would break her if he pressed too hard. She knew she should pull away, that this was Wrong… but it took a few seconds to work up the courage.
She laid her hands on his face, and pushed him away. He grabbed her wrist so hard it hurt. "Why?"
"Because I'm not her."
"I don't understand! Why!?" His voice broke. "Why did you leave me?"
"Calm down. I'm right here, Lao. I'm not leaving your side."
"You're… here?"
"I'm right beside you." It was cruel, she knew, and wrong. But if he got more upset, it could worsen his wounds, she told herself. And she never really lied, just told him she was there. Not correcting someone wasn't the same as lying, was it?
He pulled her against his chest, rested his head on hers. "I feel like I'm drowning."
"Me too, Lao. I hope it lets up soon."
"Not the rain. I… I feel like I fell into a pit of tar. And the more I struggle, the farther from the edge I slip. And I can't get out, but I can see the sun going down. And It's getting cold, and I'm getting cold. And it's on my skin, up my nose, in my mouth. I can taste it, every day, I can taste it. And then it's running down my throat, it's in my lungs, and I can't breathe, I just keep spitting up tar, no matter how much I cough up it's pouring in my eyes and ears and I'm drowning…!
"And then, I sink below the surface. And I'm not alive, because I can't breathe, but I'm not dead either, because I can't rot, can't dissolve and become a tree or a flower or something and I'll never really live again! I'm… frozen. I'm cold, and wet, and stuck. And the sun doesn't rise under the ground."
She was crying, and the burning was gone. She felt cold now, and wet. She made a promise to herself, in that moment. She'd make sure he saw the sunrise. She wanted him to be happy, she wanted him to smile, and she knew it was selfish, but she wanted him to look at her and kiss her. And if she had to light herself on fire and dive into a pit of tar to do it- had to burn up to see his face light up one last time before she turned to ash- then she'd do it.)
Cross stood under a streetlight, the damp air biting at her bare legs. Promises were easy to make. And when you kept them to yourself, nobody even knew when you broke them. Easy.
And maybe she'd let him drown, but in the end, he'd dissolved into light. That counted, she said. But she wasn't stupid enough to believe it.
Her bare feet tapped quietly on the pavement, a stark contrast to her nightmare. The data unit she'd recovered from Noctilum had turned out to be useful- alongside the crew's names were pictures, and with Lin's help, they could finally match up her face to a name: Cross.
"D#***!%a=ERROR CRoss" actually, and at first Lin had thought it was the computer shortening "cross-reference", but Red knew better. It was the first "human" thing that had felt familiar… right. It was her link to Earth. She was Cross, and she was Human.
There's a voice that saves your heart and my soul
The sun goes down with all my faults
So where's your feeling,
And where is your life?
All the clouds hang dark
No one is ever seen
The sunrise but I am feeling cold
It's a voice I heard
It can cure my heart
This rain hurts me
And in your mind
The only thing these words can save is my way
Next time: Dew, or "PLOT TWIST"
"Because she ALWAYS knows. She's got, like… a Lao-dar!"
"Lin, there is no such thing as a... Lao-dar."