Half an hour later, Goldie reappears.
GoldieTheFazbear: "Ok, this interview was one that I was hoping wouldn't happen, but anyway, we have another one of my friends here, please welcome Savion the Panda!"
A tall, red eyed panda wearing karate gi walks in.
Savion: "Hey guys!"
Audience cheers.
GoldieTheFazbear: "Yeah, hey Savion! Jut sayin', you might wanna watch out for the interviewee,"
Savion: "Uhh, why exactly?"
All of a sudden, shrieks sound backstage
Toy Bonnie: "Ugh! Get me out of here! This place is filthy- YOU'RE SMEARING MY MAKEUP!"
Toy Bonnie stomps on stage.
GoldieTheFazbear: "Anyway, this is-"
Toy Bonnie: "Shh. Honey, let the princess speak for herself,"
Toy Bonnie puts her hand over Goldie's mouth
Toy Bonnie: "I am Toy Bonnie, the most beautiful rabbit on this planet. I expect all of you to bow before me and do what I say!"
Savion: "That's debatable..."
Toy Bonnie: "Oh, and who is this plebian over here? He looks like he needs a haircut!"
Savion: "Wow, that's nice."
GoldieTheFazbear: "JUST DO THE DAMN INTERVIEW TOY BONNIE!"
Toy Bonnie: "Excuse me, darling?"
GoldieTheFazbear: "We're doing an interview, genius!"
Audience laughs
Toy Bonnie: "Oh, well, why don't you go put on some makeup first? I'm sure your eyes will appreciate it!"
GoldieTheFazbear: "Oh, well why don't you go burn off your face? I'm sure everyone in the universe will appreciate it! Especially Bonnie!"
Audience cheers
Toy Bonnie: "WHAT! HOW DARE YOU HUMILIATE ME LIKE THIS? AND DON'T YOU DARE COMPARE ME TO THAT UGLY-ASS BITCH!"
Savion: "CALM DOWN!"
Toy Bonnie: "FINE! I'LL ANSWER THE GODDAMN QUESTIONS!"
GoldieTheFazbear: *scoffs* "Fine! Who are some of your friends from school?"
Toy Bonnie: "Oh, well only Toy Chica, since she's almost as hot as I am,"
Savion: "Isn't it kinda shallow to do that?"
Toy Bonnie: "Oh, please. I know what I'm doing."
Goldie groans.
GoldieTheFazbear: "Anyway, what about the Fazgang...
Toy Bonnie: "OH MY FUCKING GOD! I HATE THEM SO MUCH!"
Savion: "Wait, what?"
Audience boos
Toy Bonnie: "All of them- They're all ugly-ass losers that don't have a life! There's something called MAKEUP, and BONNIE AND CHICA SHOULD TOTALLY LEARN TO USE IT. Oh, and Goldie's a goddamn smartass who thinks that I'm ugly! What kind of IDIOT thinks that about me? I FUCKING HATE THEM- YOU HEAR ME?! ALL OF THEM!"
GoldieTheFazbear: "Well, there's only one way to settle this,"
Goldie reaches into her pocket and pulls out a tranquilizer dart.
Savion: "WHOA! No need for violence, Goldie."
GoldieTheFazbear: "She's gonna tear down the whole set,"
Toy Bonnie: "AAARRGH! I HATE THEM SO MUCH!"
Toy Bonnie picks up a chair and throws it at a set piece, knocking it over.
Goldie loads her tranquilizer gun and sets her finger on the trigger.
Savion: "WAIT! DON'T SHOOT!"
Goldie freezes
GoldieTheFazbear: "?"
Toy Bonnie: "?"
Everyone else: "?"
Savion: "Come on, guys! I know how to solve this!"
Toy Bonnie groans
Savion: "So, you like massages?"
Toy Bonnie: "Well, you're smarter than you look,"
Savion walks over to Toy Bonnie and starts giving her a shoulder massage to calm her down
Toy Bonnie: "Hey! Careful with my- Huh, not bad, actually. This actually feels kinda... nice, i guess?"
Goldie stares.
GoldieTheFazbear: "H-HOW?! WHAT KIND OF SORCERY IS THIS?"
Savion: "It's the sorcery of getting people to calm down!"
GoldieTheFazbear: "Wow, so you actually got Satan to calm down,"
Toy Bonnie: "Oh, I'm prettier than Satan, darling,"
GoldieTheFazbear: "Whatever. So, what is so bad about the Fazgang?"
Toy Bonnie: "Oh, well, they're just plebeians with no sense of fashion whatsoever, and none of them are that good looking,"
Savion: "Who's the worst of all of them?"
Toy Bonnie: "Well, obviously Bonnie- I mean, she can't take Freddy away from me! And she's definitely not that pretty..."
GoldieTheFazbear: *whispers to Savion* "I think the plan is working..."
Savion steps away from Toy Bonnie
Savion: "Oh yeah, I can calm even the craziest bitch in the world down. Now if only you called me in during Golden Freddy's interview,"
Audience remembers Golden Freddy and laughs
Toy Bonnie: "Anyhow, Freddy- ahh, he's the man of my dreams! I just wish that he would notice me, AND STOP MAKING OUT WITH THAT LITTLE PURPLE BITCH!"
Toy Bonnie snatches Goldie's SECOND mug and shatters it on the floor
GoldieTheFazbear: "OH MY FUCKING GOD! THAT COST ME 50 DOLLARS, YOU LITTLE FUCKTARD!"
Toy Bonnie: "DON'T YOU CALL ME A FUCKTARD YOU LITTLE BITCH! YOU DON'T EVEN WEAR MAKEUP!"
Savion pulls out a bottle filled with something, presumably green tea. Toy Bonnie drinks the contents, and immediately calms down.
Savion: "Calm down, it's not that bad."
Toy Bonnie: "B-but she stole my man!"
Toy Bonnie starts crying, streaking her makeup
Savion: "Ok. Picture this. Is Freddy perfect?"
Toy Bonnie: "N-no…"
Savion: "Is he the hottest man alive?"
Toy Bonnie: "No!"
Savion: "Is he good enough for you?!"
Toy Bonnie: "NO! HE'S NOT!"
Savion: "That's right! Now go find yourself a new man!"
Toy Bonnie: "YEAH! I'M OVER YOU, FREDDY! I FUCKING HATE YOU!"
Savion: "THAT'S THE SPIRIT!"
Toy Bonnie: "But my makeup!"
Savion: "Ugh. Hold on, I'll be back."
Savion runs offstage promptly
GoldieTheFazbear: "Uh, what about Chica?"
Toy Bonnie: "Um, she is SUCH a crybaby! I mean, she would cry over the TINIEST things in the world! If you put makeup on her she would cry... "
GoldieTheFazbear: "What about-"
Savion runs back on stage holding a tube of mascara and some makeup remover
GoldieTheFazbear: "Ya gonna put that on, you gaylord?'
Audience laughs
Savion: "WTF Goldie?!"
Toy Bonnie: "OOH! OOH! ME WANTS!"
GoldieTheFazbear: "Naw, I'm just joking. Right guys?"
Audience cheers.
Savion: "Anyway. Toy Bonnie, I just went and stole a tube of mascara from wardrobe, so"
Toy Bonnie: "OH MY GOD THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!"
Toy Bonnie redoes her makeup and calms down, FINALLY…
GoldieTheFazbear: "So, you're calm now?"
Toy Bonnie: "Mhm."
GoldieTheFazbear: "Err, what about Foxy?"
Toy Bonnie: "Well, I guess he's kinda hot, but again, he has his eyes on Bonnie…"
Savion: "Well, does anyone actually like, LIKE you?"
Toy Bonnie: "Sadly, no. They don't know what they're missing out on."
GoldieTheFazbear: "Um, how's Toy Freddy?"
Toy Bonnie: "He's more cute than hot, but he could DEFINITELY afford to drop like 50 pounds,"
Audience laughs
Savion: "How much exactly does he weigh?"
Goldie pulls out Fazbear Daycare records
GoldieTheFazbear: "Okay… according to this record, he weighs… 60 pounds, OMFG
Savion: "And what, he's only 4?"
Toy Bonnie: "Yep!"
GoldieTheFazbear: "Well, if he dropped that much weight then he would die…"
Toy Bonnie: "Oh GOD NO! I mean, he's super nice, so OBVIOUSLY I don't want him to die!"
Audience: "SHIP SHIP SHIP SHIP!"
Toy Bonnie: "Oh, COME ON!"
Savion: "There's still one more called Mangle, right?"
Toy Bonnie: "Oh, right. She does know how to use makeup, like REALLY well, but she doesn't really fit in with anybody- She's kinda nice, I guess?"
Savion: "Well, you might wanna try getting to know her better,"
GoldieTheFazbear: "Fair point,"
Toy Bonnie: "Yeah, I probably could. Anyway, so this thing's done?"
Savion: "Apparently, yeah!"
GoldieTheFazbear: "Alright, this is it for this interview! Everyone give a HUGE round of applause to Toy Bonnie- And ESPECIALLY Savion the Savior!"
Savion: "Heh heh. Bye guys!"
Audience cheers LOUDLY
And the curtain closes.
