A/N: This is how I imagine Isobel might have felt upon hearing the news that Matthew is dead. He said he'd sent her on to tell everyone the news Mary had had her baby, so I think she would have been at Downton. Based on Isobel's words at some point in season four about how losing a child robs you of purpose (paraphrasing, but I can't find them anywhere right this minute). TW for death and loss.
Her life has lost all meaning in an instant. She had been the happy bearer of news to the anxious inhabitants of the abbey and now, a mere hour later, they have all been shell-shocked, destroyed, by the information a policeman and a sturdy man wringing his hat in his hands have imparted to them.
Matthew, her son, Mary's husband, the heir of Downton, and new father is dead.
She cannot grasp it. She sits on one of those red sofas in the library, deaf to the concerned murmurs around her and thinks of all that her golden boy has had to overcome in his short life. The loss of his father, darling Reginald, had forced him to become a man too soon; she admired the way he had risen to the challenge of being head of a household even as he firmly attended to his studies. He had told her would make her proud, and oh, how he had excelled in doing so. For years it had been just the two of them. They shared a sense of humour that delighted in the ridiculous and a strong passion to do good in the world.
Both of these things had helped them to cope with the snobbish attitudes which they had encountered at the abbey on their first visit. She had seen, though, how absolutely captivated he had been by Lady Mary from their first meeting. She had worried initially that the girl would break his heart, but soon saw that he brought out the best in her. Beneath the ice queen persona, a warm and loving woman waited.
Even after they broke things off and found new partners, she still noted the special friendship they had. Isobel had been amazed by the changes the war wrought in Mary and even though she had been preoccupied by power at the time, she saw the longing glances, no matter how hard they tried to hide them. In the end they found each other, as Isobel always sensed they would. Her darling boy had been through so much danger and at the end of it has gained a prince's fortune. A wife he loves, land he sees the value in and a son to be the apple of his eye.
And now all that is lost because he had been killed in the worst way, on the happiest day of his life, and the pain is unbearable. She will never again see him smile. Never hear his quick wit or his plans for Downton. His son will never know him or have the benefit of his common sense against the propriety his mother will enforce. She cannot bear the pain or the injustice of it all. She had thought to lose him twice before, had reconciled herself to the fact on both occasions, and when he rose from the ashes she started to believe he was charmed. To be third time unlucky is terrible and unfair and plain wrong. She wants someone to blame, but the truck driver can hardly be held accountable and the only other person she can think of is God and to direct anger to that quarter would be a complete waste of energy. Life goes on, except that it doesn't and she knows that hers will be an empty shell from now on.
She will go on, because to take another route would be unthinkable, but she will never feel whole again. The centre has been ripped out of her.
She is dimly aware that the others are speaking of Mary. She still doesn't know. Matthew's body is being brought here to be laid out and therefore the hospital will have no inkling of the tragic events. Someone will have to tell her. Robert and Cora are debating which one of them it should be, but that's not what should happen. Isobel finds herself standing and offering to do it. She is the only one, after all, who can possibly understand and who will fully share in her grief. Dr Clarkson ought to be telephoned though to warn him of the impending catastrophe which is about to destroy the happiness within his hospital.
Isobel moves towards the entrance of the abbey, hardly aware of those about her, nor the stricken face of Carson as he helps her into the car. She sets her face forward as the vehicle propels her towards her terrible task. Once it is done she will have no purpose anymore and will live the rest of her life like a rudderless boat. It is not what Matthew would have wanted, but then he wouldn't have wanted to die either.
He is dead and to a certain extent so is she. Her life is over, the rest is just existence.
A/N: Heavy I know, but I honestly believe this would have been game over for Isobel in terms of life having any real purpose. A review or two would be lovely, and if you'd like an insight into any character from any season or episode, let me know!