Damn, Goldie! Back at it with the late night fanfic writing sessions!
This is like the only way I can get 2 chapters in per day XD
BUT:
LAST CALLS FOR A MANGLE INTERVIEW! IT IS NOT TAKEN AND IS THE ONLY FULL INTERVIEW LEFT!
ALSO TAKING REQUESTS FOR BACKSTAGE CONVOS! (PLZ READ THE SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT)
Thanks!
-Goldie
The next day
Goldie is wearing a cast and a spinal halo.
GoldieTheFazbear: "Oh, don't worry. Nothing too bad happened to me,"
Audience stares.
GoldieTheFazbear: "Oh, just a punctured lung, fractured vertebrae, a spinal cord injury, and a shattered ulna. Told you, nothing bad!"
Audience laughs.
GoldieTheFazbear: "Anyway, thanks, Thomas. The lucky bastard actually did better than any doctor has. Well, Mari, I guess you could come out now,"
A black cat wearing a blue shirt and jeans sashays onto the stage. She has a seemingly painful scar on her right eye and is holding a sword.
Mari takes a single look at Goldie and grimaces
Mari: "Whoa, damn! The fuck happened to you?"
GoldieTheFazbear: "Well, some fatass decided to sit on my neck and almost killed me. That was great..."
Mari: "Holy shit! Anyway, so who's up next?"
GoldieTheFazbear: "I don't think you're gonna like her,"
Toy Chica saunters out into the spotlight.
Toy Chica: "I deserve better than this crappy place! I DESERVE TO BE A HOLLYWOOD STAR ALREADY!"
Toy Chica flaunts her crop top
Mari: "Whoa, whoa! Who's this little whore?"
Toy Chica: "Excuse me? Who's this ugly bitch?"
Mari: "OH HELL NO, YOU LITTLE CUNT!"
Toy Chica: "WHO ARE YOU CALLING A CUNT?
Mari: "YOU WANNA GO MANO Y MANO? HUH?"
Mari whips out her sword and twirls it around.
GoldieTheFazbear: "OK EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
Both Mari and Toy Chica stare.
Mari: "Bruh! That was uncalled for!"
Toy Chica: "You can't tell me to shut up!"
GoldieTheFazbear: "Ugh, Toy Chica. Please tell me, what do you think about the Fazgang?"
Toy Chica: "Oh my god, ugly as fuck. Screw them, they can go burn in hell for as long as they can!"
Mari: "I do like the phrase "Burn in Hell","
Toy Chica: "Don't interrupt the Queen! Anyway, everyone says that Freddy's so damn hot, but he's just a desperate fuckboy looking for a girl. And a life."
Audience laughs
Mari: "You're a queen? Seriously?"
Toy Chica: "Yup! And you know what? Freddy can go fuck off,"
Mari: "I mean, I did watch the other episodes before this. Fair point?"
GoldieTheFazbear: "Definitely a fuckboy,"
Toy Chica: "Yeah! And I really hate to admit it, but I think Bonnie deserves better that that sewer rat!"
Mari and Goldie snicker.
Mari: *whispers to Goldie* "She's actually pretty good at insults,"
GoldieTheFazbear: "Oh yeah. They're all pretty good. So what about Bonnie then?"
Toy Chica: "Nah, she's super unfashionable and plain. She also doesn't use makeup, which is a dumb move,"
GoldieTheFazbear: "Freddy gave her so many diamonds..."
Mari: "Why? Ya jealous?"
GoldieTheFazbear: "Um, no. Just- How does he afford those?"
Toy Chica: "Easy! Once he's got his pathetic little eyes on somebody, he'll do anything- even stab himself- to get her attention! Fuckboy..."
Mari: "Damn! That must be one douch-y family he's in..."
Toy Chica: "Well, Golden Freddy's not really into that stuff."
GoldieTheFazbear: "Obviously, he's a total badass!"
Mari: "He sounds awesome as fuck!"
Toy Chica: "He's a dick, but you know? Dicks gonna be dicks. At least he's better than Freddy."
Mari: "Didn't he- like, murder someone before?"
GoldieTheFazbear: "Nah, that was just Mike. But he's still alive!
Mike sticks his head out of the curtains
Stage Crew Mike: "HEY PEEPS!"
Audience cheers
Toy Chica: "Hmm. Chica- She's really wimpy and pathetic."
Mari: "Why, is she bawling her eyes out 24/7?"
Toy Chica: "Ugh, tell me about it! She's probably never gonna get a guy, unless it's Foxy. That guy'll bang anything!"
GoldieTheFazbear: "What, did he like, bang one of your clothes mannequins?"
Toy Chica: "Yep!"
Mari: "Foxy's a perv-ass fuckboy? Well, that explains a lot."
Goldie, Toy Chica: "Explains what?"
Mari: "This,"
Mari holds up a small, board like object.
Toy Chica: "What is that, like a bit of cardboard?
Mari: "Nope. Foxy's underwear..."
Mari throws it to the ground and it shatters.
Audience laughs
GoldieTheFazbear: "Holy motherfuck- HOW DOES HE PRODUCE SO MUCH SPERM?!"
Mari: *freaked out* "I DON'T EVEN FUCKING KNOW!"
Toy Chica: "Where did you even get that?"
Mari: *flatly* "Wardrobe."
Toy Chica: "Yeah, he's a gross perv! Like he goes after any girl he sees! One time he even tried to force his thing into Bonnie!"
GoldieTheFazbear: "Okay..."
Mari: "Do you have like, a BFF? Best Fucking Friends?"
Toy Chica: "Yeah, Toy Bonnie, I guess?"
Mari: "I-guess?"
Toy Chica: "Yeah. She kinda forces me into everything I do."
GoldieTheFazbear: "She was a TOTAL bitch on the show. Had about 1,000,000 meltdowns. How did you even calm down though? I thought you were like, super snobby!"
Toy Chica: "I guess I DO have opinions like Mari's?"
GoldieTheFazbear: "Hmm. Well, good to hear."
Mari: "I keep forgetting, who's the fucktard again? You know, the fat dumbass?"
Toy Chica: "Ohh. Toy Freddy. Riiight. What a fucktard. Seriously, he is SO DAMN STUPID!"
Mari: "Keep going..."
Toy Chica: "He didn't even know what 1+1 is! And he said that it was a door..."
GoldieTheFazbear: "How dumb can you get?"
Mari: "Clearly, dumber than a pig,"
Toy Chica: "And Mangle? Well, she's kinda weird. I don't know if she smokes weed or not. That's kind of a popular myth around school!"
Mari: "I'd assume not? Hopefully not!"
GoldieTheFazbear: "Children these days... Hopeless,"
Audience laughs
GoldieTheFazbear: "But kids, remember: SMOKE WEED EVERYDAY!"
Mari: "FUCK YEAH!"
GoldieTheFazbear: "Anyway, it's over!"
Toy Chica: "That actually wasn't that bad- I suppose.
Mari: "You know what? You're not such a bitch after all."
Toy Chica: "And you're actually pretty damn badass!"
GoldieTheFazbear: *in narrator's voice* "And thus, two enemies- became friends, and all was well. The end!"
Some Dick: "HEY SHUT THE FUCK UP GOLDIE!"
GoldieTheFazbear: "YOU SHUT UP BITCH! I'M DONE!"
Audience cheers
Curtains close.