A/N: As promised, another update by the end of the week! I hope you like it!
Rory couldn't concentrate. She stared at her laptop, the cursor blinking at her as she tried to write her latest article. It wasn't as easy as she guessed it could be to forget her feelings. It had been three days since she talked to her mother and told her, finally, about things from years ago she had never told her. It felt refreshing to not hold all of that to herself anymore.
She sighed, opening a new tab and went to check her email. Maybe it would give a nice distraction, she thought. Rory skimmed through her subscribed messages and found one from Lane. She smiled at her friend sending her pictures of her kids and telling her the latest antics of the twins. It was so hard for her to believe Lane is a mother still after all this time. What was even weirder was they were eight years old already.
Writing back a reply and commenting on how cute the pictures are, she noticed a note at the end saying how Jess was after she left. Rory read through it twice, stopping on him being mopier than she remembered and smiling at how she heard Jess talking about his little sister. It sounded sweet and she wished she had got to see him mention her.
She wrote something quick back to that too and hoped it didn't sound more interested than she should. There was an email from Paris and another couple from her mother. When she finally went back to the article, her mind wasn't in it still. Rory picked up her phone and called a friend from the Obama campaign who moved to New York as well.
There was three rings then a voice. "Hello?"
"Marissa," Rory said. "Hey. Its Rory."
"Gilmore?" Marissa said excitedly. "Hey! Its been a while."
"Yeah, it has," she agreed. "Are you busy right now?"
"Not now, no," she said but then perked up. "Does this mean what I think it means?"
"Wanna go get something to eat?" Rory asked. "We could hang out and catch up."
"Yes!" Marissa replied. "Where?"
Rory shook her head, not having thought that far into it. "I don't know."
Marissa gasped on the other end. "Washington Square Park?"
She winced. "Not there."
"Um, okay," Marissa thought for a moment then came up with a coffee shop not too far from Rory's place.
She walked in and went right to the counter, ordering the only coffee on the menu that sounded like Luke's. When they were done with her order of coffee and a danish, Rory looked around the place to find Marissa sitting at a table by the far end wall.
Marissa jumped out of her seat as Rory came to sit beside her. The two girls hugged tightly and Rory realized how much she missed having her around. She would have to introduce her to Lane and Paris one day, she decided. "Its been so long since we've seen each other!"
Rory nodded and took off her coat. "Way too long. I think we last hung out when I moved here."
"That was years ago!" She gasped. "We have to do this more often."
"A lot's been going on," Rory explained.
"Right," Marissa agreed. "Your divorce. Don't be offended but I could tell it wasn't it for you. Something always seemed...off between you two."
"What do you mean?" Rory asked curiously.
"When he came to visit you," she shrugged. "You seemed on-edge when he was around. And looking out for him too much. It was like you were his mother and not his wife."
Rory opened and closed her mouth. She wasn't really sure what to say to that exactly. Instead she answered honestly. "Sometimes it felt like I was, to be honest."
Marissa nodded. "How so? I mean, I didn't see fighting but -"
"It was more than fighting," Rory answered. "He drank. A lot. He would drink until he couldn't anymore and hide the bottles from me. I used to find them later after he left the loft when before, I'd only seen one. He wanted me to believe he only drank one when really it could be four."
"Wow," she said and took a drink of her own cappuccino.
"And he would get mad," Rory continued, remembering. "He'd yell at me and accuse me of stuff. I had to watch him when he drank in front of me because I didn't want him become that person."
Marissa nodded. "It sounds scary."
"It could be," Rory remarked but then she smiled. "It wasn't all bad, though. When he wasn't drinking, he was so sweet. He'd surprise me at work with flowers or take me away on vacation for a weekend."
"Was it worth it?" Her friend asked. "All that pain...was it worth the good stuff?"
"Sometimes I think it was," she answered. "Other times I wonder why I didn't tell him to get help sooner. I always knew he drank and liked to go out but I thought it would get better when we got married."
"I'm so sorry, hun," Marissa told her.
"Thanks," Rory said softly. "But I'm good now. I've been at the Times for a while now."
"I've seen some of your articles," she beamed.
"Really?" Rory smiled. "What do you think?"
"I think you're an amazing writer," she answered honestly. "I've always thought you were back when we wrote together. But I think you got even better."
Rory smiled shyly at her friend. It was always hard for her to take compliments. They continued on about memories on the bus together and she started to forget why she was so distracted.
...
Lorelai walked into the room and shut the door behind her. She gasped when she saw her daughter standing in front of the body length mirror in her white dress and long train. "You look absolutely gorgeous, sweets."
"Thanks," Rory said in a low voice. She turned around to face her mother, nervous about her dress. "How's my dress?"
"Its perfect," Lorelai told her.
Rory watched her mother keep staring at her and it made her nerves jumble and feel paranoid. "What?"
"My baby girl is getting married," she cried and wiped her eyes. "Look at you. You're all grown-up."
"I used to play dress-up in stuff like this," Rory said with a smile.
"I know," Lorelai choked out. "But this is real. That is your wedding dress. Not long from now, you're going to be walked down the aisle and I'm gonna have a son-in-law. I feel so old."
"Mom..." Rory said. Lorelai shook her head and the two of them turned back to the mirror. "Wow. This is really happening."
Lorelai watched her daughter straighten out her dress with her hands, smoothing it down. "Is this what you really want?"
Rory turned her head towards her mom. "What do you mean?"
"You've only been engaged for a few months," Lorelai answered. "I'd understand if you wanted to wait."
"No, Mom,", Rory let out a small laugh. " I want this. "
"And you're sure?" She pressed.
"I'm sure," she smiled. "Mom. Why suddenly the worry?"
Lorelai was quiet for a moment, a thoughtful look on her face. "I saw the guest list."
"So?" Rory asked.
"You invited Jess?" She asked.
"Yeah," Rory his her face. "He didn't RSVP, though so I doubt he's actually coming."
Lorelai kept watching her. "You thought he would want to come?"
"I hoped he would," she corrected. "We're friends."
"You say that, sweets," Lorelai brushed a stray piece of hair from Rory's face. "I've never known of you speaking since before Lane's wedding over a year ago. So unless you're just not mentioning it..."
She chuckled at the end to make it a joke. Rory said nothing at first. She didn't need her mom questioning the invitation. She had already questioned it enough since sending it out. "What's with the questions, Mom? What are you thinking?"
"I don't know," she shuffled her feet. "I was curious about him and you seem nervous..."
"I'm getting married," Rory pointed out with a smile. "I think I can be a little nervous. It doesn't mean I want him come stop the wedding."
"Oh," Lorelai nodded. "Okay."
Rory laughed. "You really think I wanted him here for that?"
Before she could answer anything, the door swung open and in walked Emily Gilmore. She gasped in happiness when she saw her granddaughter standing there on her wedding dress. "Oh, Rory! You look absolutely stunning!"
"Thank you, Grandma," she said shyly.
Emily walked to her, hands fixing her dress and checking her hair. "I wasn't sure about letting you do your own hair but I must admit, it looks beautiful."
Rory smiled at her. "Is Grandpa back here, too?"
"He's checking on Logan," Emily explained. "Who, from what I hear, looks quite dashing himself."
"I'm sure," Rory smiled. "Is dad here?"
"Oh, I'm not sure," Emily said confused. "I didn't see him out there."
"I can check, Mom," Lorelai suggested.
"Why, yes," Emily brightened. "Thank you, Lorelai."
She gave a face, surprised to hear her mother tell her thank you but walked out anyway. Left alone with her grandmother, Rory turned back to the mirror to make sure she was completely ready to go out there when needed. Emily stood behind her and put her hands on her shoulders, smiling behind her. "This is the happiest day of your life."
Rory smiled softly. "Is it normal to feel so nervous?"
"Why, of course, dear!" Emily exclaimed. "I was so nervous before both weddings to your grandfather! Its only natural. Once its over, you'll be Mrs. Logan Huntzberger for the rest of your life. You'll be very well provided for and taken care of."
"I know," she said. "I feel so scared about standing in front of everyone."
"Don't worry, dear," she tried to reassure. "It'll be over soon and then you'll be married to the love of your life."
Rory nodded, unable to comment on anything. Her grandma's words only helped some but not entirely. The door to the room opened and her mother came back in. "Is he here?"
Lorelai shook her head. "I couldn't find him anywhere."
"Oh," Rory's smile fell.
"I'm sure he's in the restroom," Emily said though neither her daughter or granddaughter believed her.
Fifteen minutes later, Richard came to get Rory for the ceremony. No one had seen Christopher anywhere still and Richard was flattered when she asked him to walk her down the aisle. Lorelai and Emily rushed out to their seats and watched as Lane and Paris walked down the aisle with Colin and Finn. Sookie's daughter, Martha, was the flower girl and Davey walked as the ring bearer.
When the doors opened and the bride's music played, Rory took a deep breath as she looked at the front of the church and saw Logan standing there, looking as handsome as ever in his tux and smiling happily at her.
The closer she got to her soon-to-be husband, the more she studied the faces in the pews. She saw Zach, Mrs. Kim, Sookie, Jackson, Honor and her husband, Babette, Miss Patty and everyone else in town she had invited. Luke smiled at her as she passed and she gave a smile back but couldn't help the disappointment at not seeing his nephew there on the other side of him that her mom was not beside.
...
After they went for coffee, Rory invited Marissa over to her new apartment. She didn't want her friend go away just yet and she wasn't sure where to go, either. Marissa looked around the apartment and even checked out her book collection. She picked up a dark cover and read the back summary.
"Why does this sound so familiar?" She asked.
Rory walked over to her and handed her a drink. She saw The Subsect in her hand and smiled. "Because I read and reread that about a hundred times on the bus."
"Right," she laughed. "The name sounds like I know it, though."
"Well, I happen to personally know that author as a matter of fact," she replied.
"Really?" Rory nodded. "Is that why you were such a fangirl?"
"I was not a fangirl!" Rory gasped. "I just really like his writing."
"Uh-huh," she said skeptically. "So you know him or know him-know him?"
"He lived in my hometown for a coupeo of years," she said. "We were close friends."
"Just friends?" Marissa nudged.
"Fine," Rory groaned and sat down on her couch. "We dated for seven months."
Marissa gasped for what seemed like the hundredth time. "Oh my God. You mean you lugged that book around the whole campaign and you never told me you dated the author!"
"It was in high school," she used as an explanation. Marissa sat down beside Rory and waited for more. "We both made a lot of mistakes."
"Do tell," she urged.
And so Rory did. She went in depth into her and Jess' history, from that dinner that wasn't when he first came to town to outbidding Dean on her basket to seeing him in Philadelphia. She barely took any breaths between and Marissa stayed silent, not interrupting even when she had questions.
When Rory finished, she stared at her friend and waited for her to respond. "Well?"
"Well what?"
"It sounds like you're in love with him."
...
The phone rang loudly on Jess' desk as he rushed over to answer it. He had been helping a customer when it unexpectedly rang and Chris answered, only to tell him it was for him. He cursed at whoever was calling him in the middle of work but when he heard who was on the other line, he softened.
"Hey, Uncle Luke," Jess smiled as he sat. "How's everything?"
"Fine, fine," the older man replied. "Lorelai's already begging for cravings but it sounds like her normal appetite."
Jess laughed. "Isn't that the Gilmore way?"
"Yeah, it is," Luke laughed with him.
"But you love it," Jess remarked. "Even the crazy, right?"
"Yeah, I do," Luke said in a whisper. He wasn't one to share many feelings and he and Jess had shared that in common. He decided to change the subject because of that. "Hey, when can you be back in town?"
"Uh..." Jess paused. "I'm not sure. I might have to check with the guys."
"Okay, good," Luke said. "Because the work here is not going as fast as Lorelai hoped. She's under the impression she will be fat by the end of the week and we could use some more of your help."
"I'll ask them then get back to you," Jess told him. "But is there anything else? You sound, I don't know, weird."
"I do?" Luke asked.
"Yeah."
"Nothing's up," he admitted. "Lorelai may have mentioned something to me..."
His smile that had been there moments before was a hundred percent wiped off. "Like what?"
"That Rory came to see you?" He asked.
Jess sighed in relief. He didn't everyone to know what happened before she left. "Yeah, she did."
"Good," Luke said in a brighter voice. "That's good. I'm glad."
"You are?" Jess asked surprised.
"You two should be friends," he explained. "I hoped you would start talking again. I thought it did happen after your first book but then it didn't. So I'm glad, this is good."
"Luke?"
"Yeah?"
Jess chuckled. "You're starting to repeat yourself a bit."
"Right," he replied. "Sorry."
"It's fine," Jess waved it off. "But it is good to know you think that way. I mean, I don't know how long a friendship between us will last but its good to know you support it."
A pause of silence passes before Luke speaks again. "Don't mess it up, Jess."
"What do you mean?" He asked. "I doubt we're even gonna talk that much for me to screw anything up."
"Don't play dumb," Luke told him. "You know what I mean."
"I won't."
"Jess!"
"I swear," he said. "You don't have to worry about anything, okay?"
"Okay," he agreed. "Just...you know I care about the two of you."
"I know," Jess smirked. He wondered how hard Luke had tried to not say that out loud. "Hey, when I come, I'll come see Liz and Doula, too."
"Oh, I'm sure she'd like that," Luke said. He sounded relieved to be done with that conversation about Rory and everything that went with it.
"I haven't seen them in a little while," Jess shrugged. "Might be nice to go visit."
They fell into an easy conversation about Doula and Luke updated him on Kirk's latest antics which included a fight with his mother in the town square. When they hung up, Jess actually felt eager to get back to Stars Hollow for some reason.
...
Rory wondered over her friend's words long after she left. She kept hearing them over and over in her head.
It sounds like you're in love with him.
Was she? Rory knew how she felt years ago but now? After a years long marriage and being divorced, dating Dean again before that, her short-lived try at a relationship with Mitch who asked her out after the Obama campaign. It sounded crazy but yet she couldn't get it out of her mind.
Was she in love with him?
She walked over to where the cardboard box was now, curious to if those feelings were still there inside her. Somewhere deep down, she always knew she would love Jess but actually in love with him? Tears began to slide down her cheek as she stared at the box.
Rory had her answer. She picked up her cell phone and dialed. A voice picked up on the second ring, eager to catch her.
"Hi, Mom."
A/N: I hope you like it! And thank you so much for the reviews still! They mean so much and thank you for sticking with me and my telling of 2015 Literati! And this one just has a Rory flashback but it'll be back to Jess in the next one :)