"Hello?" Rory called as she entered her childhood home. The lights were off and the place was silent. "Mom? Luke?"
She stood in the doorway and looked around. The couch was pushed up towards the window and the rest of the living room aside from the TV set was closed off. A voice called out from next door that grabbed Rory's attention.
"You looking for your mom, doll?" Babette asked.
Rory leaned out of the doorway and onto the porch to see her friend. "Yeah. She's not here?"
"They're usually at Luke's," Babette told her. "The house is mostly occupied on days its worked on but not at night."
"But its morning," Rory objected to herself.
Babette laughed and pointed her thumb in the direction of the diner. "And where does your mom prefer to be in the morning?"
"Right," Rory laughed. "I'm gonna go check over there."
Babette gave a sly smile. "I bet you'll check."
Rory made a confused face but didn't ask. Instead she dragged her luggage back to her car and stuffed it into the back seat and was on her way. The morning was brisk and light creeped in already. It was still early, barely 7 am, but Rory had wanted to be there as soon as possible. She saw Luke wiping counters in the diner as soon as she got closer and smiled.
The bell chimed when she walked in and he looked up at her, smiling too. "Hey, Rory!"
"Hey, Luke!" She beamed and wanted to her stepfather for a hug. "How are you?"
"Good, good," he smiled. "Was I supposed to know you were coming or was this a surprise?"
"Mom knew," Rory confirmed. "Maybe she wanted you surprised, though."
Luke nodded, still smiling. "Always possible with your mother."
Rory mock-hit him. "She's your wife."
Luke leaned forward. "Still crazy. Ssh."
"It'll be our secret," she nodded in a serious tone.
He walked back to the tables to clean them off. He started opening a little later now that everyone was staying upstairs. They got Evan ready for school then would open and the town understood. Rory walked up the steps and remembered the mischievous look on Babette's face before she came here.
Then she remembered. Lorelai told her Jess was here.
Was Jess upstairs too?
She knew the answer before she reached the final step. Of course he was. Where else would he stay if they're all here? She took a deep breath and knocked on the door.
It swung open and a sense of déjà vu came over her. Jess smirked. "My, aren't we bright eyed and bushy tailed?"
Rory laughed, the déjà vu complete. "Still watching I dream of Jeannie? She always gets Major Healey out of thlse scraps."
"Damn," he muttered. "Now you spoiled the rest of the episodes I never saw."
"Sorry," she said in mock apology. "My mom up?"
"Yeah," Jess moved aside to let her in the apartment. "She's getting Evan ready for school."
She walked into the apartment and noticed the blankets on the couch. "So you do stay here."
"What?" He asked so she nodded towarda the couch and he understood. "Yeah. Figured it was better than staying at Liz's."
Now Rory nodded in understanding. She knew too well the feeling of a parent who didn't try hard with you having another child and giving them their all. "Are you gonna see your mom?"
"I did already, actually," he told her. "I was gonna see her later today though."
"That's nice," she smiled. "Doula will love that."
"She'll love what?" Lorelai asked as she walked in holding her son's hand. "Hello, child of mine."
"Mom!" Rory smiled happily and hugged her mother and brother. Jess smiled at them. When Rory pulled away, she looked at her mom seriously. "Do you hate me for telling grandma?"
"Nah," Lorelai waved it off. "You actually kind of saved me from having to tell her."
Rory half-laughed. "You're welcome?"
Lorelai nodded. Jess gestured to them. "Its nice to know I'm not the only one who feels that way about her."
"Please!" Lorelai scoffed. "You're looking at the pro."
Rory laughed which made Evan laugh. "Mommy, is it time yet?"
She looked at the time - close to 7:20. "Rats. It is. Let's finish getting you ready, baby."
"But Rory's here!" He whined.
"She'll be here when you get out of kindergarten," Lorelai explained to her son then looked at her daughter. "You will, right?"
"Yes," Rory answered. "We can play after, Evan."
"Okay," he groaned. He went to Rory for another hug before Lorelai took him over to Jess' old bed and finished getting his sneakers on.
"I should head out, too," Jess said as he walked over to the couch and grabbed his jacket.
"What?" Rory asked. "Where are you going?"
"Got stuff to do," he shrugged.
She looked at him skeptically. "In Stars Hollow? You?"
"Luke was sending me to their house to meet Tom," he replied. "I told him I'd do it so he doesn't have to leave the diner."
"Oh," she said. "That's...good."
He walked to the door. "Yeah, besides the dealing with Kirk at 8 am part of it."
"Poor baby," she smiled.
"No smirking," he scolded. "Kirk is not a good thing."
"Debatable," she countered.
Evan came back into the room and grabbed onto to Jess' leg as he stood by the door. "You're leaving?"
"Only for a little bit," he messed up the kid's hair. "I'll be back when you get out of school."
"Promise?"
"I promise."
Rory smiled at the two of them and Lorelai noticed, giving her a look. Rory turned her head away from the two males in front of her and her mother's questioning expression. She almost regretted telling her of her feelings if her mom was gonna look at her so obviously.
The two of them said goodbye to Evan and went downstairs. Luke hugged and kissed his son goodbye too as Jess followed out. Rory and Luke watched them leave and once they opened the diner, customers came in. Babette walked in with another sly smile pointed directly at Rory.
...
Jess stormed downstairs in annoyance. It was around midnight and he stayed at Truncheon late because he was finishing an article and the editing for the zine. But Matt and Chris were playing music and entertaining guests instead of letting him work.
"What the hell?" Jess asked when he got downstairs.
Matt looked at him and smiled. It was obvious he'd been drinking. "Jess! Come on down!"
"How about you lower the volume?" Jess asked. "I'm finishing work up there and everyone else is partying."
Chris walked to Jess. "We'll keep it down, I promise."
"Thanks," he nodded and turned to go back upstairs. "But if it stays loud, I'm going home to finish."
"Deal," Chris agreed.
Once Jess was back upstairs, the music turned lower. He heard Matt complain and whine which made him want to laugh. Jess turned back to his article and sighed. He certainly wasn't proud of it but he didn't think it was shit. That was a plus. He finished up the last of it and started to edit through everything.
Throughout editing, his eyes traveled to the stack of papers to his side. It was Jess' latest book, all printed and edited. He just had to give it to his co-workers but for some reason he never worked around to it. He just carried it around and waited for the right moment which never came.
He wasn't sure why he was so hesitant. Maybe because of why he was able to write it. Jess had been so inspired by his inner thoughts when he got that invitation that it poured out. When he finished editing, he grabbed the pile and went downstairs.
"Here," he put it on Chris' desk with a thud.
Chris walked over to him, all eyes of Matt and the guests on him. "What's this?"
"Check it," Jess said.
He looked at the first page and almost gasped. "A new book? Finished?"
"Yep," was all he said.
Matt stood up, his attention caught. "You finished a new book?"
Jess shrugged and Chris beamed. "Another book."
Matt turned to everyone with a giant smile on his face. "Beers for everyone! We got something to celebrate!"
"Not me," Jess shook his head. "I'm going home."
"What?" Matt asked. "You can't."
"I can," he replied. "And I will."
"Fine," Matt said with a pout. "We're still going to celebrate."
Jess laughed and clapped his friend on the shoulder. "I wouldn't expect any differently."
He ran upstairs and grabbed his work bag and jacket, racing back down the steps. He shouted that the zine was all set and ready for tomorrow morning. Once outside, Jess was stuck with the paralyzing feeling of what was there. Absolutely nothing. His home would be empty tonight and he almost went back into Truncheon just thinking about it.
Jess got into his car and ended up driving around. He found a book store still open. He parked the car and knocked in the door. A girl looked up from behind the counter and walked to thsmiled. She smiled at him. "Yes?"
"You're open?" He asked. She nodded. "For how long?"
"About a half hour," the girl smiled. "This is my dad's place. Usually book fans come in late at night for a read. Seems it happened again?"
He looked over at her as he entered, her last words a question. "Yeah. It did."
She nodded. "It's pretty quiet here tonight. So it's all yours to browse."
"Thanks," he smiled at her. Jess looked through the shelves and laughed when he found a copy of The Subsect.
The girl noticed and walked up behind him. "You read it?"
"You could say that," he answered. Jess was grateful he hadn't been one of those authors who put a picture of himself on his book.
"I loved it," she gushed. Jess looked at her again and she had a genuine look on her face. "That guy knows how to write."
"You didn't find him pretentious?" Jess asked her.
"God, no," she laughed. "I thought he was...soulfull."
"Soulful?" Jess laughed. "Really?"
"Totally," the girl answered. "His insights on love, relationships...he sounds like he's been hurt. And like he learned from it."
Jess stared at her. She could tell that? He tried to make a joke. "Or maybe he just doesn't understand life."
"I think he does," she argued. "More than he thinks. In fact, I think he does more than most people."
"Huh," he just said.
The girl smiled at him, blushing. "I bet I sound insane, gushing over this book written by somebody I'll never meet."
"You sound normal to me," he told her. "Besides, its nice to hear an impartial point of view for once."
"You don't find many fans?" She asked.
"I found some," he admits. "But they're all people who started the book with biased opinions."
"Don't you hate that?" She gushed. "I love reading a book and just...experiencing it. No thoughts other than what the back summary is."
He smirked, remembering another young girl who felt that way. "You go into the world better that way, form your own opinion."
"Exactly," she nodded and smiled brightly at him.
Jess nodded at her and decided maybe he should go home finally and he'll come back here later. The girl went back behind the register and occasionally stole glances at him. Jess walked to the door and called to her. "Thanks for the impartial opinion, by the way."
"You're welcome," the girl was confused, not understanding why he'd thank her. "I'm Ari, by the way. What's your name?"
He nodded. "I'd prefer to rename anonymous, if that's okay."
"Okay," she nodded.
"Nice meeting you, Ari," Jess opened the door and walked out back into the night.
...
Customers now filled Luke's up. Rory sat at the counter since it opened, afraid if she moved she'd lose her seat. Being the owners stepdaughter did not grant privileges against the hungry she had learned. Luke was grinning, happier than usual when serving, Rory noticed. It probably had something to do with Kirk was nowhere in sight.
Lorelai walked back in and dramatically sat down beside her daughter. "Evan did not want to go to school."
"Why not?" Rory let out a small laugh. "I thought he likes kindergarten."
"He does," Lorelai nodded. "On usual days. Today's a special day. His sister and cousin are both here."
Rory nodded and took a sip of her coffee. "He's had Jess for days. I'm new so I should get special reservations with my little brother."
"Aha, true," her mother grinned as wide as the chester cat. "Which is why I have an idea."
"What's that?" Rory asked curiously.
"Babysit for me," Lorelai suggested.
Rory stared at her. "When?"
"Tonight," she shrugged. "Whenever."
Her daughter nodded, trying to follow. "So you are telling me to pick a night to babysit and then you'll go out according to my schedule? Isn't that a little different?"
"When have I done things normally?" Lorelai snorted.
"Never," Luke said as he appeared with a cup of coffee and placed it in front of his wife.
She grinned and kissed him quickly, making Rory smile. Then Lorelai took a sip of her coffee and made a face. "This isn't coffee, honey."
"Its decaf," he said simply.
"And decaf isn't coffee," Lorelai explained.
"Yes, it is," Luke said. "Its just not the kind you drink."
Rory looked between the two of them. Lorelai replied back, "Its also not a good kind."
Luke leaned forward to his wife. "Its the kind you're gonna drink while carrying our child."
She stared right back. "Maybe I'll take a paternity test."
"And when you disprove me, you can have regular coffee," he grinned and stood up straight again.
"Rats," she groaned and took another drink of the coffee. That then led to making more faces into her cup which only made Luke roll his eyes and Rory laugh.
He walked away to take some more orders and Rory turned to her mom. "When are you telling the town, by the way? They were happy about Evan so they'll be happy again."
"I know," she replied. "I just wanted this be our thing for a little longer. Just the four of us and mom now."
"Does Sookie know?" Rory asked.
Lorelai smiled. "Maybe."
"So more than the four of us," Rory pointed out. "Which means you can't guilt trip me that Grandma knows then."
"Oh, I'll still guilt trip you," she smirked. "You told my mother. That's the most deserving of punishments. Which is why you are babysitting for me."
"Fine," Rory gave in. "But only because I love my brother. It has nothing to do with the fact that you're absolutely nuts."
"You're the one who saw the Yale therapist," Lorelai told her.
"Ugh," Rory groaned. "Don't remind me."
"I could always take out your mugshot and out it on the fridge again," she teased.
Rory made a face and held a hand up. "Please don't."
Lorelai pouted and pointed to her belly. "But..."
"No," Rory said with a laugh. "You are not using that as an excuse."
"Fine."
Lorelai kept pouting and Luke brought her food without her even ordering any. Rory laughed again at how well he knew her mother and it caused her mouth to soften into a smile.
...
Rory turned the last pages of the book she was reading and shut it closed. She wiped a tear that had threatened to fall and smiled at the pages between her fingers. That was a good book, an amazing book. She flipped it over to see the title once again - Directly Darkly.
She was proud, very proud. Jess had written another book and Rory had heard of another open house like the first and only time she went to Truncheon. It was tomorrow night and part of her was tempted to go there. The other part of her looked over at her husband asleep in bed and felt guilty.
Rory thought of the last time she had went there and the look on his face when she walked out the door. No matter how many memories she had of Jess smiling, they could never overshadow that one. Even the memory on the bus seemed pale in comparison because it had been her who had done the crushing that time. She made his face form that expression.
She flipped through the pages again to find her bookmark, on her favorite passage. It sounded so Jess, that she had to read it again.
He pulled a new cigarette out of the pack and stared at it between his fingers. He'd long ago swore he quit but today, yesterday, hell even tomorrow, the urge was back. His lighter felt heavy in his left pocket, aching to make him lighter and have the small stick come alive with flames. He'd done it before, he'd done it for her. What did he have now? She was gone and never to return so what was the harm in raising the object to his lips and breathing it in?
He knew exactly what was wrong. He swore to her he was done smoking and he wanted to keep that promise. Even if she was long gone, even if she never came back, he would keep that promise. Why? Because he gave her his word and his word wouldn't be forgotten because he lost her.
She reread the words over and over again throughout the night, pulling the blanket over the side of the couch over her when she got cold. Did he mean it? Did he keep promises he made to her no matter what happened between them? Did he really never smoke again after he left for California?
Rory sighed, shutting the book. He probably did. Jess had smoked for years before they met and when they started going out, he told her he would stop. She told him she didn't like the cigarette breath and he just stopped buying them. Was that was that passage was? A message to her? Or was she just over-analyzing his fictional book?
She shoved the book into her bag and walked over to the bed. Rory took off her robe and climbed in. Logan was fast asleep still, his arms curled around her when he felt her presence. She swallowed down the guilt that she felt thinking of the book and her past with Jess.
Rory went to sleep with tears forming in her eyes, thinking of the two men in her life, one she chose and another she always felt so conflicted about her feelings for.
...
Jess grabbed a beer out of the fridge, thankful that it was still stocked while they were gone. Kirk had once again hammered his thumb and Jess couldn't take anymore. As if it hadn't been bad enough that Kirk asked opinions for baby names if he and Lulu were ever given his mother's permission to have a baby.
The back door opened, startling Jess at first. Then he saw Lorelai and relaxed, relieved it wasn't Kirk. "Hey."
"Hey," Lorelai said as she stood in the doorway. "This could almost be a déjà vu, you know."
"Almost," Jess agreed. "Except you won't take the beer from me this time and drink it."
She nodded and sat down. "That is true. Plus, you won't say I'm getting some from Luke because that's been common knowledge for a while now."
"Ugh," Jess swallowed. "Not exactly what I wanted to hear."
"You said it the first time," she smirked.
"I was being a smart ass the first time," he said. His joking tone was gone and instead of meeting her eyes, Jess stares at his bottle.
"Maybe," Lorelai agreed. "But you were also on the nose. You knew before I knew that I wanted to be with Luke. Hell, even my mom knew."
Jess snorted. "I'm a little shocked by that."
"She said I'll have a diner wedding," Lorelai remembered. "About two years before me and Luke kissed."
"Huh," he simply said.
Lorelai looked at him in wonder. "Hey, Jess?"
He turned back to look at her. "Yeah?"
"What are your plans for tonight?"
A/N: The last chapter seemed so short so I wanted to try to give another one out before a week passes! Plus I'm really really excited for the next chapter, which I think you'll all really like too ;)
I wasn't sure what exactly to put as Jess' book quotes, I always figured it was something reflected on his life, Rory, Liz so I tried to come up with something and chose to not make it as a The Subsect quote because DD is mine and we sadly never found out what TS was about :( but I hope it works! And I hope to have another out by Friday so fingers crossed!