A Cricket in the Watchtower
Chapter 2
Batman did NOT sleep very well last night, thanks to his new so-called "conscience". As a matter of fact, the cricket is nothing but trouble. Coming into the Watchtower unannounced, scaring the bejesus outta everybody and to add insult to injury, some fairy or whatever turned the goddamn Batman into a freakin' puppet. This was by far the most humiliating thing he had to suffer through during his tenure with the JLA. The next morning, our puppet bat boy and his very small microscopic "friend" sat down to breakfast, where, as usual, Jiminy was the center of EVERYONE's attention
"he is soo cute. And look at that little umbrella" Alex cooed, everyone fawning over the new guest, ignoring Batman's grumbling
"Hera… please smite me. And smite this incredibly annoying nuisance on my head" Batman growled, when his nose turned into a nest
"uh-oh…" Kara and Alex said in unison, snickering
"I suppose I'm gonna go rescue my parents from a big-ass whale, supposedly die, then get reincarnated as a real boy, right?" Batman asked sarcastically
"eh… no. that was kinda overdone" Jiminy said
"oh thank Hera" Hippolyta exhaled in relief
"so I see you finally got a conscience. Maybe now you wont be such a big bully" Robin said
"huh. Maybe when I'm back to normal, YOU wont be able to do squat" Batman threatened, about to strangle Robin when the nest suddenly revealed baby birds
"WHAT THE HELL?" Batman screamed, the nest growing larger to reveal baby chicks and sparrows
"you know what Tim? You can drive my Batmobile" Batman said calmly, everyone gasping in shock
"r-really?" Robin asked excitedly
"mm-hmm" Batman nodded
"wow…" Robin uttered, a look of pure joy on his face as he walked off
"very good. You learned how to be kind" Jiminy said proudly
"so now do I become a real man?" Batman asked worriedly
"Nuh-uh-uh. You gotta learn how to be caring and selfless. Then and ONLY then will you get back to normal" Hush said
"well…it's a start" Batman sighed
"that's the spirit. Come on, let's go to the theatre and put you in a puppet show ran by a big, fat, smelly, greedy Italian" Jiminy said
"what?" Batman asked, incredulous
"uh… what year is this?" Jiminy asked
"2016" Hippolyta answered
"…oh. Well let's go to your work" Jiminy offered
"WAYNE ENTERPRISES? Are you kidding me?" Batman gasped, mortified
"trust me. I'll help you every step of the way" Jiminy assured, Batman exhaling
"ok, fine" Batman agreed
…
Bruce was very, VERY nervous. Not only was he getting weird looks from everybody, but everyone else was fawning over, you guessed it, Jiminy. That darned little thing has become the center of attention and… for some reason, Bruce is actually becoming fond of him. Bruce felt horrible for being such an angry, grumpy jerk for over 254 stories, and maybe, Jiminy entering his life was a sign of redemption. Huh. This may be pretty easy
"YAAAYYY! A wooden puppet! I wanna burn it! BUUURRRRNNNNN" Firefly cheered insanely
…or not