Rory sighed as she sank down onto her couch. The apartment was quiet and lonely, something she had not been so used to recently. She was stunned this afternoon when Jess told her Chris called and requested he come back to Philadelphia.
At first, she thought he was lying and then she felt guilty about thinking that. He couldn't lie just to get away from her and it was terrible it even crossed her mind. Jess told her that they needed his opinion on authors they were considering. She remembered his laugh when he told her that Chris didn't like to rely on Matt's opinion.
He had waited until she came home from work to leave. A duffel stood at his feet as she entered the apartment. The first thing she saw was his expression - it was neutral, not happy but not that sad, either. He just seemed tired. Then Rory noticed the bag.
"You're leaving already?" She asked him.
Jess nodded at her. "The sooner I get there, the sooner its done."
She just stared. "But...I was hoping I could come with you."
"Can you?" He asked.
"I'd have to ask my boss," she answered. "See what she says."
"Okay," he simply said then smiled at her. "I could wait a little bit then."
She smiled back and grabbed her phone out if her pocket. "One minute."
Jess had watched Rory as she spoke on her cell. Her expressions changed from excited, less excited, pleading, sad, then finally defeated. He knew the answer before she hung up the phone and walked over to him.
"She says she needs me there," Rory sighed.
"Because of the training?" He asked.
Rory but her lip as she remembered he didn't know she was now working with his ex-girlfriend. She still wasn't sure how to bring that up, even days later. "That's part of it."
He put his hands on her waist and played with the edge of her shirt. "So there's nothing you can do?"
"Doesn't seem like it," she sighed and put her own hands on his arms. "I even offered her thanksgiving vacation."
He laughed and kissed her quick. "Your mom would kill you if you gave up thanksgiving."
"Jess?" She asked quietly.
His brown eyes looked right into her blue ones. "Yes, Rory?"
"You'll be back for my birthday, right?" She whispered. "No matter how busy we are, we'll spend it together?"
"Of course," he said to her in a soft tone. "Why do you look so worried?"
She looked up at him sadly. "We've never spent my birthday together. And this time, it feels different. I want us to do what we never could before."
"We will," he told her. "And besides, there are some things we've done this time we didn't before."
Rory blushed, guessing where his thoughts went. "I'm being serious, Jess."
"So am I," he laughed. A teasing smirk now played on his lips and she liked it. She felt like she didn't see this side enough since her father's appearance. "You mean you aren't glad that that's changed this time around?"
Her blush just turned deeper. "No comment."
"You're glad," he teased and brought her closer to him. Jess kissed her forehead and Rory's arms came around him to his back as she relaxed against his chest. "We will do things right this time, Ror. We already are."
"You think so?" She mumbled against his chest.
"I do," he told her. His voice was no longer playful but it matched the seriousness of hers. "And we will spend your birthday together. Even if Matt tries to drag me to stay in Philly."
"Promise?" She smiled.
He nodded. "I promise."
"I love you," she snuggled against him, not ready to let him go especially not to another state.
Jess kissed her head another time. "I love you, too."
Now, Rory just looked around the apartment sadly. Everything here was depressing her. Before, when she was alone, it was just her place and being alone didn't feel like it wasn't normal. Now, after Jess had stayed there, it felt like it was his apartment too.
She pulled herself off of the couch and walked into the bedroom. The bed was slightly made from this morning still. Jess had woken her up by kissing the spot behind her ear and with coffee. She didn't have time to make it so he offered. It made her smile a little that Jess was terrible at making the bed.
Rory walked into the room and sat on his side of the bed. There was a picture on the nightstand, another of them together. This one was much older, though. She picked it up in her hands and looked at their smiling, teenaged selves.
After she set it down, she realized maybe she needed to get out of the apartment. Thinking of Jess was just making her sad and she missed him.
Her phone was quickly in her hand as she dialed a number. It answered in the second ring. "Hey, girl!"
"Hey, Marissa," Rory smiled. "You wanna maybe grab some dinner?"
"Of course!" Marissa was excited. "Wait, don't you have a boyfriend now?"
"I do," she nodded to no one. "But he's not here right now and sitting in the apartment might make go crazy."
"Got it," her friend didn't need any more info. "Want me pick you up?"
"Please," she laughed.
Marissa laughed in return. "I'll be right over."
...
Jess arrived at his Philadelphia apartment later than expected. He couldn't believe the traffic that he had to follow on the drive back. He turned on the lights and almost didn't recognize the place. It seemed so foreign, despite having lived there for many years now.
He slipped off his shoes and put his duffel bag in his bedroom, only to walk out to the kitchen. There was still beer in the fridge and Jess laughed. Of all things, there was beer.
It was still cold and he opened it right up, drinking as much as he could in a gulp. The silence was deafening around him. As much as he expected to hear Rory any minute now, he also couldn't see her here. Not because he couldn't place her in his apartment but because she'd never been here.
Jess was determined to bring her here even if it's just for him to move out. He took out his phone and called Rory. She wanted to know when he made it back and after driving all that time, he just wanted to hear her voice.
It rang and rang, until finally, he heard her voicemail message. Signing, Jess waited for the beep and spoke, "Hey, Ror. I just got here. I thought I might catch you but you're probably busy or just didn't notice. Its...its really quiet without you. Call me when you get a chance, okay? I love you."
And then he hung up, putting his phone down on the island in the kitchen. It wasn't exactly late but he wasn't sure he wanted to go to Truncheon quite yet. Jess wasn't even sure he wanted to go at all. He was still going through what happened the night of the diasterous dinner with Rory's father, from the restaurant to that phone call her overheard. Leaving now felt wrong somehow.
Hesitantly, Jess grabbed his phone again and made sure he had his keys. He walked out the apartment door and decided to just get to Truncheon already. When he comes back, he'll hopefully just fall right asleep. The sooner he's there, the sooner he can get back to New York.
The bookstore was still open when he made it inside. The bell chimed over the door and it reminded Jess of the diner Luke owned. He stopped for a moment, almost thinking of Stars Hollow as home. Before he could get too far into those thoughts, Matt was rushing towards him.
"Hey!" Matt grinned and tried to hug Jess. "You made it."
Jess put a hand on his chest to urge him away. "No hugging, please."
"Right," Matt nodded. "You're spoken for."
"Are you drunk?" Jess made a face at him. "You know what? Don't answer that. I don't want to know."
"I only had a little to drink," Matt defended.
"What's a little?" He found himself asking.
Before a reply could happen, another familiar voice came and interrupted. "You're here!"
"Hey, Chris," Jess gave his best attempt at a smile. "Now how am I judging these possible signers?"
"We're doing another open house," Chris told him. "Make them perform, you can see what they do and we get an audience reaction."
"You needed me for something you're getting the audience to decide?" He almost scoffed.
"The audience isn't deciding," Matt shook his head. "Whoa."
"Can someone sober explain this to me?" Jess asked.
"We thought you needed an out," Chris finally told him and after a deep sigh.
"An out," Jess parroted. "From what?"
"You know," Chris gestured. "Whatever's going on with Rory in New York."
"Nothing's going on with Rory in New York," Jess replied then backtracked. "Well, obviously something is but not something you escape from."
"Do you think we're stupid?" Matt asked.
Jess turned to look at his friend. "Is this a trick question?"
"Something happened," Matt said. His face looked pale and like he was ready to puke. Jess made a face at him.
"You asked for that notebook," Chris said.
Jess shrugged. "So?"
"So that's the thing you carried around when we met you," Chris told him. "Why would you want a book you wrote in after Rory tore out your heart if she wasn't doing it again?"
"She's not," he snapped. He realized how that made it sound and changed his tone. "She's not, okay? I just thought it was time she knew about that notebook."
"Wait," Chris said as Jess began to walk away. He turned out to hear this brilliance. "You'll let her read it? We never even read it."
"One, you're never going to," he counted off on his hand. "Two, because I didn't trust you to keep it safe. Third, I think she needs to know."
Matt groaned. "No, don't do it!"
Jess laughed. "Don't do what? I didn't even say anything."
"You don't need to," Matt said. "If you let her read it, she'll have even more power over you."
"She does not have power over me," Jess sighed and rubbed his eyes. He did not come here for this. "And if the open house is tomorrow, then I will be heading out. See you tomorrow."
Chris loved to follow after Jess afted he walked to the emterance. "Wait!"
He turned around briefly. "Don't worry about it. He's drunk. I should go home anyway in case Rory calls."
Chris eyed him skeptically. "You sure?"
"I'm sure," he nodded and walked right out the door. He got home and picked up Thai food on the way.
Once home, he checked his messages to see if Rory had called. There was none from her but a text from Lily telling him she was maybe gonna come visit soon. Jess smiled as he remembered Rory wanted to meet her. He definitely knew Lily wanted to meet her.
After he typed a message back, Jess got his food out of the take-out containers. He ate in silence, something he was not used to anymore. When he was about finished, his phone rang and he looked over and saw Rory's picture looking back at him.
"I almost thought you forgot about me," he teased when he answered.
"Never," Rory replied. "I missed your call. I'm sorry."
He shook his head. "'S okay."
"I called a friend to go out for dinner," she explained. "And my phone is on vibrate in my purse which I should have put it on ring. I didn't even think about -"
"It's okay," Jess had to resist a laugh. He loved when she rambled. "Really. I just wanted to tell you I was here and you know now so that's what counts."
She sighed and whispered, "I miss you."
"Me, too," he told her. "Why are you whispering?"
"Because we're at dinner and I noticed your call," she said. "So I told Marissa I was going to listen to the voicemail and then I ended up calling you."
He smirked. "So you weren't planning on calling me?"
"You know, I could hang up," she threatened.
"But you won't," he finished.
"But I wont." He could imagine Rory smiling. "Hey, did you go to Truncheon yet?"
He was silent a moment that answered. "They're having an open house tomorrow night."
"Oh," she was surprised. "I thought they wanted you to check out new writers."
"Apparently they're premiering their work at the open house," he said sarcasticly. "And we're judging by audience reactions as well."
"Okay," she said, still surprised. "How long do they need you?"
"I guess a few days," he shrugged. "But I'll be there for your birthday."
"You promise?" She asked hopefully.
"Even if I have to walk there, I will," he vowed with a smile.
Jess could imagine her once again smiling. "And I would walk 500 miles..."
"...Just to be the one to fall down at your door," he finished for her. "Rory, I'll be back."
"Okay," there was slight noise in the background and she came back on a second later. "My friend is calling me back to the table. Call you later?"
"You better," he said.
They hung up and Jess looked around his apartment, once again aware of how empty it is. He went and grabbed some clothes, going in the shower to wash all the drive.
...
"Sorry about that," Rory sat down in her seat across Marissa.
Her friend waved it off. "Sweetie, if you had to apologize everytime a boy came along..."
Rory blushed. "He's way more than just a boy."
"Man, whatever," Marissa laughed. "I forget we're adults sometimes."
"I left part out of what I told you," she admitted.
The girl looked at her curiously. "About you having a steady boyfriend who's basically living with you?"
"I didn't tell you who the steady boyfriend is," Rory told her.
"Ooh!" Marissa for excited. "I was wondering when you'd give me info."
"Do you remember my writer ex?" Rory asked.
She watched Marissa's face transform from thoughtful to excitement. "The hot author!"
"That's the one," Rory smiled.
"Oh my god," her voice sounded like an excited fangirl. "You're back together? And he's living with you? Here, in New York?"
Rory nodded. "Yep."
Marissa replied in her most serious voice. "I have to meet him."
"He's not home right now," she smiled at her own words, calling home Jess' home as well. "His co-workers called him and he went to Philadelphia today."
"Aha," she nodded. "See, I knew it. I knew you were still in love with the guy."
"I think I did, too," Rory answered. "And right now, I really miss him and it hasn't even been that long yet."
"When's he coming back?" She drank some of her soda that was left. Their dinners were almost completely gone at this point.
Rory shook her head sadly. "He doesn't know but he promises we're spending my birthday together."
Marissa gasped. "Oh my gosh, that's soon!"
"I was actually thinking of going back to Stars Hollow for my birthday," Rory explained. "Be with my mom and brother and my mom is getting further along and I feel like I've been so in my own world. I miss her."
"Well, you should go there then," her friend encouraged. "But bring the boyfriend. Because if he comes back in time and you're not here..."
"Like I wouldn't tell him I left the state," Rory laughed.
"Okay," she laughed too. "Fair point."
...
The next day, Rory walked inside her apartment with the mail clutched in her hands. She sighed, remembering once again Jess wasn't here. She hung up her jacket and slipped her shoes off. Immediately, her hands dug into her purse and grabbed her phone.
All day she hadn't spoken to Jess and the ache was strong. Rory was never someone who defined herself by having a man in her life. It wasn't that she did now, either. It was just missing someone this much. This feeling was new to her, she wasn't sure she even felt this way when Logan was away from her. She wondered if Jess knew just how much he meant to her.
She dialed his familiar number after changing into more comfortable clothes and snuggled into the couch.
He answered on the fifth ring and sounded tired. "Hello?"
"Jess?" She asked. "You okay?"
"Rory?" He asked. "I'm sorry. Just...Matt is being frustrating. Actually that's an understatement."
"Things not going smoothly for the open house?" She wondered out loud.
"One of the writers bailed," he sighed. "Claimed stage fright that while they like writing, they don't like to read it out loud to others."
"Oh, I'm sorry," she said. And she was sorry.
"You calling definitely helps," he said.
"Good," she smiled. "How long til you're out of there?"
"A few hours," he sighed. "I can't wait to get home."
"Then you can sleep," she suggested. "That must help after a long day."
"I mean home with you," he explained.
Rory looked down at her hands, the way she would if he was right in front of her. "I can't wait for that, either."
"And mark your calendar because I will be back in time," he promised.
"I was actually thinking of something," she suggested. "Maybe I'd go to see mom on my birthday."
"Because you don't think I'll be back?" He wondered.
"No," she whispered. "Because my mom is due in a few months. My birthday next year will be with a months old sibling. Maybe this is my last chance for a little while to celebrate."
"Then I'll come with you," he simply agreed.
"You will?" She asked excitedly. "I don't expect you to want to come and -"
"Rory." He laughed. "I've been there plenty of times over the years. I'm used to the place by now. If anything, this is a bonus because I'll have you with me."
Rory smiled widely. "I wish you were here right now so I could kiss you."
"And other stuff too?" He suggested playfully.
The blush appeared on her face before she could help it. She couldn't deny she wanted those things, too. "Yeah. Other stuff too."
She heard someone shout Jess' name on the other end and he spoke to them then to her. "Matt's calling."
"I don't think I ever agreed to sharing you with other guys when we got back together," she teased.
He laughed softly. "I don't think I even agreed to them stealing me from you, either."
"Go," she urged. "Just come back to me, okay?"
"Yes, ma'am," he replied. He hung up the phone and she pulled her legs up under herself. It was another night alone in the apartment and she couldn't stop thinking of how much she had grown used to having Jess around.
Rory remembered the pile of mail she had brought in with her and looked through them. One stood out to her as she read the Truncheon label and Jess' name on the front. Hesitantly, she started to open it.
It wasn't what she expected at all. Before opening, she thought it'd be important papers or something that Jess might need that the guys had sent to him. Maybe it was a short novel or some forms to sign.
But it wasn't. Not at all. It was a simple red notebook.
And it wasn't even a significant red notebook. It looked old, beaten. The spirals were coming out of the side and it looked like one a parent would buy their child before starting fourth grade. "What...?"
Rory flipped it open curiously. Immediately she noticed the handwriting inside. It was Jess', on every page. She recognized the way his letters shaped and the scribbles he made when he had to get a thought out and didn't want to forget it.
Quickly, she snapped the pages shut. What was this notebook? It must be important for Matt and Chris to send it to Jess for whatever reason. But what was the reason? Just as fast she opened it, she shoved the notebook back into the offending envelope.
Rory sighed and covered her face. "Shit."
...
Jess locked up the door behind the last customer as the open house ended. Chris requested he close up since the girls usually listen go him and when the girls leave, the guys do.
He made sure it was secure and walked away from it and almost right into Matt. "You need to wear a bell, I swear."
Matt laughed. "That's actually not the first time I've heard that."
Jess walked around him and over to the table where he started to clean up. He noticed Matt was watching him and sighed. "Come on. Say it."
"Say what?" He asked innocently.
"That you think something happened in New York," Jess answered. "That you think Rory did something."
"I didn't say any of that," he shrugged.
Jess stood up and crossed his arms. "She wants to meet you and Chris."
"We've met her," he replied. "A few times."
"Not really," he shook his head. "You met her at that open house nine years ago and then when she came to visit me a few months ago."
Matt still looked confused. "But we've met."
"She wants to come down here and actually get to know you two," he explained. "Not just spend a few seconds with you before talking to me."
"So let her," he said.
"If you're gonna do this," Jess warned. "Then I'll make up every excuse I can to convince her not to."
He looked stunned. "You think we won't behave?"
"I think you won't behave," he corrected. "And before that happens, I need you to get out whatever it is you want to say because if you act like a dick in front of her, I might have to kick your ass."
"Okay," Matt crossed his arms too. "I think you asked for that notebook for a reason. I'm not sure what reason yet but there is a reason. Maybe you just want it with you because you don't trust us not to read it. But I think there's more."
"You're right," he agreed much to his friend's surprise. "There is a reason."
"Gonna tell me what it is?" He asked.
He shook his head. "Nope."
"Look," Matt started and uncrossed his arms. "I'm sorry for how I acted. Do I like the girl? I don't know. I don't really know her. And I've seen her effect on you so yeah, I'm gonna defend my friend. But I also see you happier than you've been in a while too and that has to do with her."
"It does," he agreed.
"Good," he nodded. "I'm glad, then. But know I'm prepared for a night of getting shit-faced and cursing her name."
"Okay," Jess laughed. It sounded funny to him to hear Matt say such things but it did feel better to not think he was counting on their relationship's demise. "I think I'm gonna head home, all right?"
"Home-home or here home?" He asked.
"You need me anymore?" Jess asked.
"Nah, probably not," he replied. "Just needed you to hear the new works and see the reactions."
Jess couldn't help the smile from forming. "Okay I think I'll go home. My actual home."
"Okay," Matt said. "See you, man."
"See you." And with that he walked out the door to Truncheon, sure in his decision of where to go to.