Author's Note:hi everyone. Sorry this is out late again. Not only am I out of work sick...again but I am recovering from pneumonia. I don't know about you guys but I am so ready for winter to be over. I have never been as sick as I have been this winter. Anyway, I'm behind posting because I've been sleeping a lot. I'm supposed to go away next weekend to visit friends out of state as long as I am feeling better, so I am hoping to post another chapter before next Friday. We will see.
Anyway, as always, I appreciate you guys taking the time to read my story. it means a lot and thanks for the feedback/comments. I'm glad so many people are enjoying my little story,
Happy reading!
-Lisa
Chapter Ten
The nights and days following Labor Day weekend were filled with Bella spending more time than before at the Cullen house. Peter soaked up and loved the attention. Charlotte was still silent and kept her distance. She occasionally spoke to Bella, but for the most part she was still cold and distant towards her. Carlisle, being a worried parent, looked for the best psychologist for Charlotte. She obviously wasn't healed over her mother's death and felt angst towards Bella. Charlotte did admit that Bella all ready knew. She admitted that she felt Bella was trying to replace her mother. Within four sessions, Charlotte's behavior began to change. She was still resentful towards Bella but she was beginning to show her more respect. Carlisle seemed to be right. It seemed in time she would change.
Bella spent more nights with Carlisle. She kept an overnight bag in her car. Over the course of just a few weeks, the overnight bag was starting to become a larger bag to hold a few days worth of clothes. While at Carlisle's house, they didn't fool around nearly as much as either one of them hoped, but just waking up with each other was enough for the time being. When the kids stayed away at a friend's house, they often went out and spent the night at Bella's apartment. On those nights, they held each other and made love.
The fall brought on activities for Peter. He began playing in a fall soccer league. He had tried to talk Carlisle into letting him try football, but his father refused. He claimed it was too dangerous. Peter even went as far to ask Bella help him dress up as a football player for Halloween. Bella helped him, although she hoped Carlisle wouldn't be mad at her. He wasn't, instead he laughed and gave his son an A for effort, but didn't change his answer.
Charlotte was beginning to make more friends. She began to socialize with Jane's friend McKenna. McKenna seemed sweet and was polite enough towards Carlisle and Bella. Charlotte began going to school dances and being a kid again.
Two weeks before Thanksgiving was Veteran's Day. The Cullen family went on their yearly long weekend to Seattle. This year was different because Carlisle invited Bella to join them. Instead of the one bedroom with two double beds and roll away bed, Carlisle opted for a suite that was two bedrooms. Charlotte wasn't thrilled with sharing a room with her brother for three nights, but she bit her tongue.
The foursome left right after the kids got out of school on Friday. It took just over four hours because of traffic, but they made it to Seattle by seven thirty. Immediately, Carlisle checked them into the hotel. They followed the bell hop up to their room. Bella was amazed with the view of the city she saw in front of her.
After the luggage was placed in the appropriate rooms, Carlisle looked around the living room. "I think we should walk around a little bit and grab something to eat. Tomorrow we'll get up early and head to the museums. Does that sound good?"
"Yes!" shouted Peter from the arm chair.
Charlotte rolled her eyes. "I thought this was going to be a fun weekend. Museums dad?"
"We can have a fun and educational weekend. I promise," Carlisle smiled as he rubbed his daughter's shoulders. "Now go get ready for dinner and then maybe we'll talk about this some more and see what you would like to do."
Both Peter and Charlotte retreated to their shared room while Carlisle held Bella's hand and walked to their room. Bella's mouth hung open as she saw the huge four post king sized bed. Carlisle led her to the bathroom with a Jacuzzi.
"This is beautiful!" Bella smiled.
"I thought that we could use a little something. I know how you don't like to fool around with the kids nearby, however they are on the other side of the suite. My first apartment wasn't as big as this place," Carlisle joked. "Not that it was my intention of maybe getting lucky with you here with me."
"Are you being cocky Carlisle?" Bella asked unable to hold back her laughter.
Shaking his head with a smile, Carlisle pulled Bella close to him once again. "Of course not, but as I was saying, just in case you felt inclined to fool around, we can do that."
"I'll keep that in mind. Now, let's get ready for dinner you perv!" Bella said tugging his hand.
After dinner, the kids decided they just wanted to go back and rest at the hotel. They had been up early with school and were tired. Charlotte still continued to whine about the museum but Carlisle refused to let her out of the trip. She didn't come up with an alternative to partake in.
As promised, after the kids were asleep, Bella locked the door to the suite. She had surprised Carlisle in the shower. He was more than happy to see her. At first their shower was sensual. They lovingly washed each other. As they dried each other off, it grew more sexual. They continued to make love over and over again until they were spent. They soaked in the warm tub before getting ready for bed.
While Bella was wrapped in Carlisle's arms, she began to think. The thoughts had haunted her for some time and she needed to share them with Carlisle. She hoped this was a good time. What Bella hadn't realized was while she wanted to talk to Carlisle, he had something he wanted to speak to her about too.
"I-I wanted to talk to you about something," Bella said sounding serious.
Carlisle nodded. "I wanted to talk to you about something too but you go first."
Nodding, Bella began to gather her thoughts before she spoke. "I didn't expect to fall in love again so soon after Jacob. I'm still not divorced. When I first took the job with you I didn't expect us to become friends, let alone lovers. When I say I didn't expect to fall in love, I'm not talking about just you. I'm talking about the kids too. I love them. Even though Charlotte hates me-"
"Bella, I don't think she does, honestly," Carlisle aid as he held Bella tighter. He hated that his daughter didn't get along with Bella. It actually broke his heart.
"I'm okay with it because I don't know if I believe one day we will have a relationship. As I was saying, even thought she isn't fond of me right now, I love her. I really and truly care about her. I didn't expect to fall in love with all three of you. With that being said, I wanted to tell you that after the holiday I want to look for a new job."
"What?" Carlisle asked a little shocked.
"I don't feel right taking your money Carlisle. I don't want to be paid for spending time with you guys Monday through Friday from eight to five. I will still be there, but I want to find a job, a career that I can grow and advance with. Esme knows someone who owns an interior design company. I want to try that. I was good in Arizona, I bet I would b here too." Bella turned over and looked at Carlisle. She brought her hand to his cheek and began to stroke it. "Say something?"
Carlisle pulled Bella closer again and smiled. "This kind of goes hand in hand with what I wanted to talk to you about."
"Am I fired?"
"What? No! I could never let you go on purpose Bella," Carlisle laughed as he pulled Bella close to him. "I have been thinking and we've been seeing quite a bit of each other over the last few months. You are hardly at your apartment any more, and with good reason. You're in my bed in my arms, where you should be." He paused to kiss her and looked at her. "I want you to move in with us. Maybe we could time it around the time you get that new job."
"Are you serious?"
"Very. I have told you before and I mean it. I love waking up with you in my arms. I love reading in bed with you. I love how you wake me up with kisses and sometimes other things," Carlisle smiled and made Bella blush referring to her surprise morning blow jobs that usually happened early on the weekends while the kids were asleep. "What do you think?"
"I think it might not be until after the New Year until I find a job."
"That's less than two months, we can keep doing what we have been doing until then," Carlisle suggested as he began to kiss Bella's neck. He saw that she still looked puzzled. "What else is bothering you?"
"I want to take you up on your offer to move in but there is just one thing."
"What's that?"
Bella tilted her head while Carlisle continued to kiss her neck and shoulders. His hands found their way under her shirt. Bella closed her eyes enjoying all of the caressing and love Carlisle was showing her. "I have to get out of my lease."
Stopping, Carlisle looked at Bella serious for a second. "What are you talking about?"
Bella sat up and wrapped her arms around Carlisle's neck. "Well, I signed a year lease with my landlord. I have to find a way to get out of it."
Laughing, Carlisle pulled Bella into his arms again. "I think that can be arranged."
Bella pulled away and looked at Carlisle in the eye. "Seriously thought, when I move in I want to help with stuff. I want to help with the mortgage."
"The house is paid for. I'm not charging you rent to live with me. As matter a fact, I haven't cashed your rent checks since we started dating."
"I need to contribute somehow. I don't want a free ride."
Carlisle couldn't help but smile. He loved that Bella wasn't using him. It was just another sign showing she was nothing like Kate. She wanted to contribute and be part of the working household. She didn't want to take away from it. "We'll figure all of that out Bella before you move in."
Nodding, Bella looked at Carlisle in his crystal blue eyes before kissing him. She pulled away. "I wanted to ask you something else. It's about tomorrow."
"What is it?"
"Well, Charlotte voiced her opinion that she doesn't want to do the whole museum thing."
"I know and it makes me sad. She used to love this stuff. I guess she is approaching that age where she doesn't want to do things with the family."
Taking a deep breath, Bella continued. "I think she is. I was wondering, could I take her shopping and maybe we could get our nails done and grab lunch, just the two of us."
Looking puzzled, Carlisle looked at Bella. He knew Bella had become nervous around Charlotte lately since she didn't hide her feelings for Bella. "After everything she has put you through, you still want to spend time with her?"
"I do. I wanted to try and talk to her one more time. Maybe if it looks like I'm taking her side and we hang out, just the two of us, things will start to go back to normal. What do you think?"
Carlisle kissed the top of Bella's head. "I think you are very selfless. We'll talk to Charlotte at dinner. I love you so much."
"Me too," Bella said with a yawn.
"We better get ready before you fall asleep. We'll talk more at the restaurant." Carlisle promised kissing her once more.
To Bella's surprise, Charlotte decided to go with Bella instead of her father and brother. They shopped mostly in silence. Bella was the one who initiated their conversation and Charlotte replied with one word answers. While waiting for their lunch, Bella began the conversation, again.
"Are you still angry with me?"
Charlotte sipped her soda. She thought for a few seconds before she answered. "A little. I mean, I really trusted you Bella and it's like you just didn't care."
"But I do Charlotte, I really do. What developed between your father and I has nothing to do you with you or your feelings towards me. You can still come to me. Whatever you say to me will stay between you and I, unless you are in trouble or hurt or something like that."
"I really thought you were my friend and then you started dating my dad. I feel like you just used me."
Bella shook her head and reached across the table to squeeze Charlotte's hand. "Oh don't think like that. I didn't plan on wanting to date your dad and then ultimately falling in love with him. It wasn't in my plan at all. Our relationship changed and our feelings kind of just happened."
Shaking her head, Charlotte looked at Bella confused. "How does something like that just happen?"
How do you explain love and romance to a tween? "Well, once your dad and I started talking we discovered that we have some of the same interests."
"Like what?" Charlotte wondered out loud. "He's so old and you're not."
Laughing, Bella smiled at Charlotte. "He really isn't that old honey. After we started talking, we realized we like the same music and some of the same movies and actors. Through talking to him, I learned he is a very nice and kind man."
"He's the best," Charlotte whispered as she played with the straw in her drink.
"That he is," Bella answered her. She could see that she was losing Charlotte. "Listen to me, Charlotte. I don't know where things will go with your dad and I are going to go. I can tell you that I love him, as he does me. I also want you to know that I do love you and Peter too. I actually loved you two first."
"You did?" Charlotte asked confused and surprised.
Nodding, Bella confirmed. "I did. All that time we spent together before, I did it because I wanted to. Your dad didn't make me and it wasn't some kind of plan to try and get to your father. I care about you Charlotte and that's the only reason I did it. When you are upset and sad, I am upset and sad." Bella paused and was formulating her words. She was trying to explain something to Charlotte without sounding preachy. "I know what it is like to lose your mom when you are young. I was lucky because I had Uncle Eddie's mom who took care of me. I know that Esme loves me like I was her child. She has shown me a motherly kind of love for years. I love her too, like I loved my mom. She's a special person to me as is Ed. Over the years, I haven't missed my mom any less and I know I will always miss her, but I am so thankful for Esme.
"When your Uncle Edward first told me that your dad was looking for someone to help him out around the house, I didn't want anything to do with it. I didn't want to be around kids and cook for other people. Then he told me about Peter and you. He told me how unhappy you were because of Kate and how you really didn't have any adult women to look up to or to turn to. My heart broke for you Charlotte, it really did. I wanted to hug you before I even met you. I wanted to help you and Peter. You two are the reason I took the job."
"I never knew that," Charlotte mumbled not really knowing what else to say.
"I promise you that it is true. The thought of her trying to ship you and Peter away made me angry. She should have been holding you or having these lunches with you. I hate to keep bringing this up, but when I was growing up I was lucky because I had Esme to help me along. I was very broken hearted knowing you didn't have anyone you could turn to. I really wanted to help you and try to be the one who was there for you."
The conversation paused as their meal was brought out. Charlotte grabbed the ketchup. She seemed to have really thought before speaking again. "So you didn't use me or feel bad for me?"
"I did feel bad for you because you are so young and needed someone there a woman because god knows men just don't understand women,". Bella smiled. "Think about it, when you need advice on girl stuff like your period or boys, who would you have turned to?"
"Probably just Jane."
Bella nodded as she bit into her salad. "You know, it's great that you and Jane are really close, but sometimes you need an adult. Sometimes you need to ask questions."
"Like about sex? Jane doesn't know anything either about it."
Nodding again but slowly, Bella looked at Charlotte. "Right, but I don't think we should talk about that right now. You know what I mean though, right?"
"I think I do."
Charlotte ate her burger. She sipped her lemonade and looked at Bella. "You aren't trying to replace my mom?"
Bella was quiet. Of course she wasn't trying to replace Elizabeth, but she wanted to explain her thoughts. "You know, no matter how old you get, you always will miss your mom. You loved her and she loved you. She brought you into this world. Children have unique bonds with their mothers. They live inside them for nine months. I love you very much. I actually can't imagine loving my own child any more than I love you and Peter, but I will never be your mom. That isn't my job. She can and never will be replaced. My job is to love you and be your friend. To guide you the best I can. To help you grow." Bella paused and looked at Charlotte.
Charlotte played with her French fry. She seemed to be thinking again. Bella hoped that she made sense. She went on a whim with her explanations and explaining how she felt. She wanted to make sure that Charlotte understood that Bella was just trying to be her Bella, not her mother.
"Can I ask you what you think? Are you still angry with me?" Bella finally asked Charlotte.
Charlotte finally looked up at Bella. "I guess I was being unfair to you Bella. I just," Charlotte paused before she started to cry. "I just miss my mom so much. I remember her and dad being together a lot and always acting like they were in love. It was never like that with Kate. I knew Kate didn't like me and she wasn't trying to be my mom so I didn't have the same feelings with her that I had with you. It hurts that he is with you and she can't be with him. It makes me so sad that she will never see me graduate or get married."
Bella got up and sat next to Charlotte and wrapped her arms around the child as she cried. "I still think about that. When I got married he for the first time, Uncle Edward's mom and dad gave me away."
"Not Uncle Eddie?" Charlotte asked as she leaned into Bella.
Laughing, Bella shook her head. "No, Uncle Eddie was actually my man-of honor."
"Your what?"
Bella began to explain. "He was my maid of honor, but because he is a boy we called him my man of honor. He went dress shopping with me and was with me a lot throughout the whole experience." Again, Bella paused before speaking again. "I missed my mom kissing me and holding my hands. I missed her going dress shopping with me. Esme did help me though. She kept some of my mom's jewelry and gave it to me on my wedding day. It wasn't the same and won't be the same if I ever get married again. I miss my mom everyday of my life, but it does get easier honey."
Charlotte wiped her face and looked at Bella. "Thank you for talking to me like I am an adult and not a little child."
"You aren't a little child. You are growing into such a beautiful, smart, young woman. I feel privileged that I am part of your life," Bella explained. "I hope that in the future that we can go back to how our relationship was. I understand you being hurt and upset. I understand that it can't be easy to watch your dad loving someone who isn't your mom. I hope that you can take some of those emotions and see past them and learn to love me too. I miss our dates together."
Silence filled the two of them once again. When Charlotte finally spoke, Bella looked at her. "I guess I haven't been very nice to you lately and I am sorry. It wasn't the right away to treat you, especially when you have been so nice to me. I promise to work on this and learn to control my emotions. I would really like to go back to how we used to be. I want you to teach me about make up and talk to me about boys and sex and growing up."
"Sex?" Bella asked.
"Yes, not now and here, but when I am a little older. I know dad is a doctor, but I don't think he wants to talk to me about that stuff and I think he'd get really upset and blush."
Bella laughed. "I think you are right. You know you'll always be your daddy's little girl, right?"
"Yes I know, which is why I would want to talk to you about these things. Bella, I honestly just ask only one thing from you."
"Anything at all."
"Please don't break my dad's heart. He was so upset after my mom died and I don't ever want to see her like that again. You saw how Kate treated us. She treated my dad just as bad. I maybe a kid, but I still hate seeing him so sad," Charlotte spoke honestly.
Bella wrapped her arms around Charlotte and kissed her head. "I promise I will never hurt him. Sometimes things don't work out but I will never intentionally hurt him. I love him."
Charlotte nodded and looked at Bella. "Can we start our girls days again soon?"
Smiling, Bella pulled Charlotte close to her. "Would today be too soon to start?"