The younger Harry was still shaking slightly from the Horcrux removal ordeal, while Dumbledore was poking the handkerchief with his wand, looking intrigued.

"So... how do you feel?" asked the older Harry tentatively.

"Erm..." started his smaller self, "Pretty much the same." He shrugged, but suddenly lifted his head, "Are you sure it's all gone?"

"Pretty certain. I don't remember feeling any different when it was removed, either, so don't worry." He smiled warmly, which was shyly returned. That was when Snape decided to butt in.

"As touching as the moment is, care to inform us how to get rid of this thing for good, Potter?" - he sneered, looking at the cloth in disdain. Dumbledore stopped poking it with his wand and looked at the Harries curiously.

"Ah, well... You wouldn't happen to have any basilisk venom, would you?" - Adult Harry asked, smile turning sheepish. Snape scowled fiercely.

"Potter, this school can barely stay afloat financially. Do you know how much a drop of the stuff costs?"

Older Harry averted his gaze slightly, wondering why, if this was the case, the school didn't make use of the rotting carcass down in the Chamber of Secrets. He decided to think about it later.

"Can't we just burn it?" - asked his younger self, throwing a glance at Dumbledore's Floo outlet, in which a fire was crackling merrily. The time-traveller smiled sadly. The cloth did look innocently fragile compared to the flames, but he knew better.

"We could, but we'd have to use a rather dangerous curse to do it. It won't be damaged at all by regular fire. So, unless someone here is confident in his Fiendfyre..."

Snape seemed to consider this for a second, but shook his head. "I could likely control it, but any slip on my concentration and the whole school could go down in flames." Dumbledore didn't seem to be happy with that option either. Adult Harry got reminded of the horrible wail that came out of destroyed horcruxes, which was enough to startle just about anyone. Thus, he just sighed.

"Well, no matter. There's a rather large source of basilisk venom in the school anyway..." Snape widened his eyes and looked ready to strike that ridiculous motion down, when Dumbledore shushed him. "Unfortunately, getting to it will require slaying a twenty-meter-long snake, so that's going to cause some trouble". The others looked at him incredulously.

"I do wonder whether the information about rooster crowing being fatal to basilisks is true..." - he added in a conversational tone after a moment. Not getting one for his daring rescue mission was a pretty thick-headed move in retrospect, but both him and Ron were a bit shaken with Ginny being taken at that moment to remember that tidbit.

"Harry, could you perhaps share the entire story with us? I think failing to notice such a creature in school would be quite difficult..." - mused Dumbledore.

"Not if it's in the Chamber of Secrets." - calmly replied older Harry. The headmaster's face immediately took on a look of realization. The time-traveller was about to launch into an explanation of his second year, when he remembered something vital.

"Professor?" - he queried, looking at Dumbledore. "Have the school supply lists been sent out yet?"

The ancient wizard appeared rather surprised by the sudden non-sequitur, but replied after just a moment.

- "No, as it happens, we're still waiting for our new defence professor's book list.",

- "Oh?" - softly incanted Snape - "You found a new defence professor, then?",

- "Yes! A sole applicant, but certainly with excellent qualifications - young Gilderoy Lockha..." - he was interrupted here by a loud groan from older Harry and a disbelieving scoff by Snape.

- "Headmaster, surely you remember how incompetent that arrogant ponce was in school!" - the potions master asked heatedly - "And what's this about the 'sole applicant'? I do believe I recall sending you one as usual as well!"

"Now, now, Severus, I'm sure Professor Lockhart will do just fine..." Dumbledore seemed to completely ignore the latter comment.

"If I might interrupt, headmaster..." - butted in adult Harry - "That man is just one of the many reasons why the school had no chance of defending itself during our battle with Voldemort." He started glaring at the ancient wizard. "About the only thing we've learned from him is how to imitate the death of various dark creatures under Gilderoy Lockhart's wand."

Snape snorted, but Dumbledore seemed unconvinced.

"Well, I do agree he seemed kind of vain, but I'm sure if he was given clear instructions on what to teach..."

It was Harry's turn to snort.

"I doubt that..." Suddenly, he got an idea. "Ah, perhaps I should just show you? If I'm not mistaken, you should have a pensieve handy somewhere..."

Dumbledore nodded and scooted over to one of the cabinets. He took the aforementioned artefact out carefully, placed it on his desk and started retrieving his own memories from it.

Younger Harry was looking at the object curiously, so his older self, anticipating the rapidly incoming question, explained what it was.

"You can watch and move around someone else's memory using that. It's a rather neat device." The twelve-year old's eyes widened and he looked excited at the prospect of seeing glimpses of the future. Dumbledore eventually motioned older Harry to start placing his memories in the bowl. He got a sheepish look in response.

"Ah, er, you see... I've watched quite a few memories, but I've never learned how to take them out...",

"Interesting to know someone so incompetent could actually manage to best the Dark Lord. Really fills me with hope, that," - sneered Snape, just to be rewarded with a glare from both Harries. The headmaster moved in to instruct the time-traveller in the process of memory retrieval, which turned out to be a simple incantation whilst thinking of a particular memory. The four wizards soon landed in Lockhart's defence classroom.

"This is so cool!" - exclaimed the younger Potter, looking around. Snape just rolled his eyes and didn't comment, instead focusing on the teacher currently strutting about the front of the room, reciting the list of his supposed achievements, holding a copy of one of his books.

"Me," he said, pointing at it and winking as well. "Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most-Charming-Smile Award — but I don't talk about that. I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her!

Snape pinched the bridge of his nose. "Merlin, it's like James Potter times twenty!" - he exclaimed. Adult Harry and Dumbledore looked amused by the comparison, but the twelve-year old seemed slightly insulted. He sent a questioning gaze towards his older self.

"Our father did have a rather... big head. Don't worry about it." The boy and Snape both looked startled by the admission, but Harry just shushed them, as Lockhart started talking again.

"I see you've all bought a complete set of my books — well done."

"He assigned the complete set of his drivel as textbooks?!" - thundered Snape. Dumbledore smiled slightly and shook his head. Snape continued in the same tone; "How on earth did the poorer families buy them?! They probably cost a fortune-" The Headmaster's smile slipped right there. Meanwhile, Lockhart finished boasting about his set of literary nonsense and handed out the quiz. Older Harry beckoned everyone else closer to inspect the paper the memory Harry was just starting to look through.

1. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite color?
2. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition?
3. What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart'sgreatest achievement to date?

"Oh dear" - muttered Dumbledore, while the younger Harry laughed out loud. Snape continued looking murderous. "Right then." - announced Adult Harry. Let's see an actual lesson now, shall we? The memory dissolved and another one began.

"Freshly caught Cornish pixies." (...)

"Right, then," Lockhart said loudly. "Let's see what you make of them!" And he opened the cage. It was pandemonium. (...) Within minutes, half the class was sheltering under desks and Neville was swinging from the iron chandelier in the ceiling.

"Well, at least it's more exciting than Quirrel's lessons" - mumbled younger Harry and his older self shook his head. "Unfortunately, this is the last lesson like that. He later just read us stories from his stupid books..."

"Come on now — round them up, round them up, they're only pixies," Lockhart shouted. He rolled up his sleeves, brandished his wand, and bellowed, "Peskipiksi Pesternomi!" It had absolutely no effect.

- "...That's not a spell." - said both Dumbledore and Snape.

- "...Pesky Pixie Pester No Me?" - questioned younger Harry, raising his eyebrow, amused.

- "Sounds like a spell Fred and George might've made up to prank Ron, doesn't it?" - the two Potters grinned at each other recounting that particular memory.

- "Oh, and you think THAT'S bad? Let's see how he does in the duelling club." And so, the scene dissolved again to Snape and Lockhart facing each other with wands raised.

Both of them swung their wands above their heads and pointed them at their opponent; Snape cried: "Expelliarmus!" There was a dazzling flash of scarlet light and Lockhart was blasted off his feet. He flew backward off the stage, smashed into the wall, and slid down it to sprawl on the floor.

- "Ah, slightly too much power, perhaps" - Dumbledore admonished the potions master,

- "I can't say I blame him. It WAS very satisfying to see" - said older Harry, while Snape was smirking, seeing himself triumphant over the ponce.

- "Anyway, all that might seem rather bad, but there's still the icing on the cake." The scene dissolved yet again. Memory-Harry and Lockhart were talking back and forth, arguing over the defence professor running away in the time of need.

"After all that stuff you did in your books —"
"Books can be misleading," said Lockhart delicately.
"You wrote them!" Harry shouted.

"My dear boy," (...) "My books wouldn't have sold half as well if people didn't think I'd done all those things. (...)"

"So you've just been taking credit for what a load of other people have done?" said Harry incredulously.(...)

"There was work involved. I had to track these people down. Ask them exactly how they managed to do what they did. Then I had to put a Memory Charm on them so they wouldn't remember doing it. If there's one thing I pride myself on, it's my Memory Charms."

The memory ended here and the four wizards were ejected out of the pensieve. Dumbledore and younger Harry looked dumbfounded, while Snape adapted a look of barely concealed glee.

"He's... he's a criminal?" - slowly said Dumbledore, with steel in his voice, one that usually wasn't there, as he sagged into his chair.

"Unfortunately, professor, you seemed to have a knack for hiring those for the defence position during my school years" - older Harry said, and quickly noticing how rude that sounded moved in to apologize, smiling sheepishly - "Sorry. It just seemed like every professor bar perhaps a couple ended up trying to harm me somehow. Lockhart tried to obliviate us after revealing the truth..."

"Well, headmaster..." - interrupted Snape - "Under these circumstances, I'm sure you'll agree that you cannot let that man teach here..." - he raised an eyebrow - "And, thus, that leaves one more applicant..."

Dumbledore nodded, but just looked at him sadly once again. "Severus, as much as I'd like to give you the defence position, as you well know, finding another potions master willing to work for a teacher's salary is quite unlikely..." There was suddenly a glint of something in his eyes and he looked over at older Harry.

- "Are there any people you'd recommend for the position, perhaps?",

- "There were a couple teachers that were competent enough. Remus Lupi..." - he started to reply, just to be interrupted by Snape.

- "No! Not that mangy..."

- "Severus! That's quite enough," - admonished Dumbledore, before turning back to the time-traveller - "Unfortunately, I did already try to invite Mr. Lupin for the position. He declines it every year. I can only wonder what eventually convinced him to accept..."

Harry had a pretty good idea what that could have been, but decided that knowledge was useless. Sirius Black illegally escaping Azkaban was something he'd rather prevent from happening this time. He decided the offer the next best person for the job, even if he never had a single lesson with the man.

- "Ah, well, perhaps Alastor Moody then?" Dumbledore blinked.

- "He's the current head of the auror office. I can't exactly ask him to come teach here." Harry's eyebrows shot up, but then he nodded in realization.

-"Ah. He's going to, er, retire in a year or so." The headmaster looked amused by this piece of trivia, while Snape muttered something that sounded like "good riddance".

- "Unfortunately, those are the only two people I could recommend at the moment..."

- "Ah, surely not, Mr. Potter." - Dumbledore shook his head, - "I do believe you're missing one individual." His eyes were twinkling, which somehow unsettled Harry.

- "Er, who do you have in mind, professor?"

- "Why, I seem to recall talking with a defeater of a certain Dark Lord... he'd surely be quite good for the job, wouldn't you agree?"

Both Harries blinked. They blinked again, and that was when Snape roared.

- "Headmaster, you can't possibly be considering...!"

- "And why ever not, Severus? You have to admit he has experience few can admit to having..."

- "But, Professor!" - Harry finally shook out of his astonishment - "I can't exactly show myself so publicly, can I? If Voldemort got wind of the fact I'm some future version of Harry Potter..."

- "Ah, but of course not. You'd have to work under a false name. Perhaps a slight disguise, as well."

- "A false name?"

- "Why, yes. You'll need one nevertheless, won't you? We could easily install you as some long lost Potter relative..."

- "Easily install? How?"

Dumbledore looked thoughtful for a second.

"Why, we'd simply have to find some squib relative of yours that already passed away and then claim you're related to him. Any blood test would prove you're indeed related to the Potter family, if your looks didn't already tell the whole story." - there the twinkle intensified tenfold - "And it would make executing the plan of getting your younger self out of that Dursley home quite simpler, wouldn't it?"

- "How do you..." - gasped older Harry, but the headmaster just chuckled,

- "I wouldn't expect you to let yourself stay in that house."

- "What do you mean?" - asked Snape suddenly - "Surely, Potter's relatives pamper him at every turn. Why would he not want to go back there?"

- "Ah, Severus, if that is so, why did Molly Weasley just inform me of young Harry being starved this summer break?" The twelve-year old ducked his head and started blushing profusely once again.

- "Ridiculous, that woman..." - started Snape,

- "That woman is unfortunately quite right, professor..." - interrupted the adult Harry. He looked straight into the potion master's eyes. "A tin can of cold soup a day isn't enough to feed a boy and his owl..." Meanwhile, he was pondering this turn of events. It was certainly quite unexpected. He honestly thought Dumbledore would fight to teeth and nails to keep his younger self locked tightly behind the Privet Drive's blood wards. He suspected that Dumbledore already got the gist of his plans using Legilimency at some point. If he was going to allow him to go ahead with the whole deal this easily, he wasn't going to protest.

Snape spluttered, which was a rare thing for him to do and younger Harry finally butted in.

"I really wouldn't have to go back there? Where would I stay? The Weasleys?" - he asked, hope painted across his face.

"Unfortunately, as sure as I am the Weasleys would happily let you stay at their house, there is still the matter of sufficient protection..." said Dumbledore. "The wards set on the house in Surrey are the only thing that can prevent any of Voldemort's people to harm you..."

Ah yes. The blood wards finally step into the light. Fully expecting the headmaster to have already picked up his idea from his head and reminding himself to work on Occlumency the first opportunity he got, older Harry asked,

"But the wards can be moved, yes?"

"Obviously. When I set the wards up I was fully prepared for the possibility of the Dursleys moving..." - replied the headmaster - "the only thing that has to be fulfilled for the wards to work is that the owner of the property needs to be a blood relative of Lily Potter."

"Which means you could set the wards up at a house owned by me." - finished older Harry, and Dumbledore nodded. There was a short bout of silence, before...

"S-So I'd stay with you?" - asked the twelve-year old and seeing the time-traveller nod, he squeaked "...But wouldn't that be weird? I mean, you're technically me."

His older self lowered himself to look into his eyes. "Perhaps so. But not weirder than being taught by yourself, no?"

Dumbledore beamed. "Ah, so you've made up your mind?" Harry just smiled.

"Well, I did enjoy teaching that secret defence club in my fifth year..." It seems everything started to fall into place quite nicely. "Hopefully that jinx on the position won't get me." And if everything went according to plan, even if the jinx was actually real, the caster of it would be gone before it had a chance to trigger.

[Author's note: The bolded parts were taked out of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.]