Author's Note:

Hello! Thanks for all of the comments, new adds and just reading :) I know I am a few days late with the update, however I have been pretty busy. I've been getting ready for Easter since I am hosting.

Also, I live in the Boston area and today was a very somber day. It was the year anniversary of the Boston bombings. Not only did this happen down the street from where I was educated and lived for years, but it happened when I was supposed to be there. I was supposed to go and cheer on my sister's friends as they ran the 26 miles. I stayed home to finish my taxes. My sister spoke to one of the women who were killed. If her friend had ran just a little slower, it could have been my sister killed. This really hit home. I have been taking the last few days to just be thankful that it wasn't my sister, but you know what? That woman was someone's sister or daughter. She had family that loved her and then she was gone. I can't get through talking about that day without getting emotional. I'm extremely thankful that my sister began to walk away from the finish line before the bomb went off (it was by just minutes). I've just been reflecting how lucky my family and I are. My sister came home that day. She came home, cried and we sat down and ate ice cream. Crystal, the woman who my sister was joking around with just moments before that bomb went off never got to go home. She never got to eat ice cream and cry with her family, as well as the other two people killed (including an eight year old boy).

I'm done and off my little soap box. Here is the next chapter. I hope you guys like it. Things are starting to get a little rocky.

Enjoy!

-Lisa

Chapter Fifteen

"I feel like a fool Bella. I mean, how many meetings could she have had in Seattle? She told me she didn't have time for kids because her career was taking off. She was sleeping with someone else the entire time. The last year of our marriage was nothing but a lie," Edward sadly told Bella as he sipped his coffee. It had been almost three weeks since Tanya and Jasper's betrayal came to light.

As expected, Edward went through very similar emotions as Bella did the May before.

"I doted on her. I gave her anything she asked for because I wanted to. I would have done anything for her just to have her cheat on me? Why?"

"I wish I knew Edward but you didn't deserve this and there is nothing that you could have done to prevent it." Bella paused and looked at the clock. Carlisle and the kids were coming to pick both Edward and Bella up to get a Christmas tree for Bella's house. Bella had stood at Edward's side over the last few weeks as he was for her when she needed him. Her time with Carlisle had been cut down to barely any time alone with him. How could she leave Edward and spend time with her loved one when he was suffering and felt so alone? In those weeks past, she had cancelled most of their dates. She would pick up the kids after school and bring them back to her apartment and make dinner there. Edward was depressed and frankly it scared her.

Bella had taken to sleeping with Edward on some nights, especially the nights when she heard Edward sobbing. She had laid in bed with and held him as he cried. To their surprise, the next morning Carlisle had snuck in to surprise both of them, but mainly Bella with breakfast. His screams of anger woke both Bella and Edward up. Bella pulled him out of the room and explained to him what he saw, nothing. She told Carlisle that Edward's cries woke her up. Carlisle wouldn't budge. Finally Bella looked at Carlisle and told him that she knew he still talked with Kate, for some unknown reason. She said she hated that fact but still accepted it. Carlisle backed off but was still angry.

Carlisle was frustrated both emotionally and sexually. He wanted to spend time with his girlfriend, more than the two hours after work to have dinner. He was lonely. His bed was lonely. Carlisle tried to be the understanding boyfriend, but he was having a difficult time handling Bella's closeness with Edward. The truth was even though he knew there was nothing to be jealous of, he was. He missed his girlfriend.

When Bella moved in with Edward and Tanya, it took her two weeks to shake the feeling of loneliness and defeat. It took her about that time to realize she had to move on with her life. With Edward, he was still lost. He took a leave of absence from work. Bella often gently reminded him to bathe every few days. She had to remind him to eat, which he wasn't doing. He didn't leave Bella's apartment ever. He wouldn't even bring in the mail from the porch. He stayed in bed often for the entire day. When Charlotte and Peter came over, he tried to put on a front, but they even knew something was wrong with Uncle Eddie. He was fully devastated and there was nothing Bella could do. Esme was beyond worried for her son.

Getting the Christmas tree was the first outing since Edward arrived at Bella's. Edward looked out the window and saw Carlisle pull into the driveway. "Bella, Carlisle and the kids are here," he told her n a monotone voice.

Bella looked at Edward and he was still in his pajamas. "Edward, why aren't you dressed? We are leaving."

Shaking his head he looked away from Bella. "I don't want to go. I changed my mind. You go and maybe later I'll help decorate the tree."

"Edward, I don't want to leave you," Bella said as the doorbell rang. She walked to get it. The kids walked through the door first and Carlisle slowly followed. "Hi guys. Hi you," Bella said as she smiled at Carlisle.

"Morning," he said in a low voice.

"Uncle Eddie, why aren't you dressed yet?" Peter asked.

"I still don't feel good so I'm not going to get the tree but I'll have the decorations ready when you come back. Don't worry, Bella is still going to go with you guys to pick out the tree," Edward explained with a fake smile on his face.

"Are you sure you will be okay? I can stay," Bella asked hearing Carlisle sigh behind her.

Edward still smiled. "Yes, you go. You'll be back before you know it."

Reluctantly Bella grabbed her coat. She looked over at Edward. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, go and have fun with the kids and Carlisle! I mean it. I'll have the decorations ready," Edward promised.

Shaking her head, Bella looked at him before kissing his cheek. "Okay, call if you need anything Edward."

Edward agreed and watched as Bella walked out with the kids. Carlisle followed behind them. Edward watched them leave and went back up to the bedroom.

Charlotte and Peter ran around looking for the perfect tree. Carlisle walked behind them with Bella just behind him. She was lost in her own thoughts when Carlisle spoke to her.

"You could at least act like you want to be with us."

Taken back, Bella looked at him. "What are you talking about? Of course I want to be here. I'm just-"

"Worried about Edward. I get it. I get it all. He is the priority in your life right now and we are on the sidelines. I get it loud and clear."

"Carlisle-"

Carlisle turned and looked at her. "I understand he is going through a difficult time but Bella, you can't be his babysitter. You can't be there all the time and-"

Shaking her head, Bella looked at Carlisle. "Oh my god, you have no idea what he is going through."

"Yes I do. I'm widowed, remember?"

"It's not the same Carlisle. I'm sorry your wife died, but you and her both didn't have a choice. She was taken from you and yes that is devastating. It is a terrible lose and I'm sorry you and Elizabeth had to go through that. Being cheated on is completely different. You don't get a choice in that, but the cheater does. His wife is pregnant by someone he thought was family. All Edward wanted was a baby. She ripped that from him. He feels like it's his fault. I've been there! It sucks! It isn't worse or better than your spouse dying but it still sucks Carlisle, especially when you don't expect it."

"I found it!" Peter yelled as he ran back to Carlisle and Bella. "I found the perfect tree for your house, come one!" He yelled as he pulled Bella towards the tree.

The truth was after the brief argument with Carlisle Bella didn't feel like looking for a tree any more. She just wanted to leave, after screaming but she followed Peter to the tree. She nodded and said it was perfect. She reached into her jacket to pay for the tree when Carlisle came behind her and handed money to the man who handled the trees. He instructed which car was his so it could be tied to it. Charlotte watched the interactions between her father and Bella. She could sense something wasn't quite right between them.

"Dad, can Charlotte and I go inside the barn and get hot chocolate?" Peter interrupted.

Reaching into his wallet again, Carlisle handed them money. "Sure. We'll meet you in there."

Just standing in the same spot where they bought the tree, Carlisle and Bella stood in silence as they watched the kids go into the barn.

Bella spoke first but didn't look at Carlisle. "Thank you for the tree. That was kind of you."

Wrapping his arms around Bella, Carlisle pulled her into him. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I guess I'm just a little jealous. I miss you Bella. I miss seeing you in the morning when you have my coffee ready for me and I miss wrapping my arms around you at night. I miss taking you out for dinner and hearing your laugh. I miss you."

"I miss you too, but right now, I can't be there. Edward-"

"Right, I know. We just did this song and dance."

Bella broke free of Carlisle. "You are unbelievable."

Carlisle watched as Bella went into the barn too. He shook his head. He didn't know what to do. He was trying not to feel the way he did but he had to be honest to himself.

"I insist Bella. You and Edward come here for Christmas. We can go to the house on the lake. It'll be a completely different Christmas. Something I think Edward needs. Carlisle is giving you time off for the holiday right?" Esme asked.

Ever since the Christmas tree outing, Bella and Carlisle rarely interacted more than they had to. She had promised him she wanted to make him dinner on Christmas and spend most of the day with him and the kids. Now she wasn't sure. "He is Esme, but I kind of promised him that I would cook for Christmas."

Esme paused for a moment. "You will come here with Edward and the Carlisle and the kids for Christmas Eve. It'll be our family Christmas. You and Carlisle can go back either early Christmas morning or late on Christmas Eve. It might be better for Edward if we do things differently any way." Esme offered. She still wasn't crazy about the relationship that had developed between Bella and her employer but like any parent, she just wanted her to be happy. "It will give me the chance to give the kids their gifts too."

"Thank you Esme. I'll talk to Carlisle about it. We'll see what happens," Bella responded.

The phone line went silent before Esme spoke honestly to Bella with a strained voice. "I'm so worried about him Bella. He has never been depressed like this before. He is so skinny now. I'm scared."

"I know Esme but he's doing the best he can right now. He'll get better."

"I think he needs to see someone. He needs help Bella."

"It'll all work out Esme, he just needs time." Bella honestly told her as the doorbell rang. "I have to go Esme, there is someone at the door. I'll talk to you soon."

Bella walked towards the door as Edward came down the stairs. He had just showered. "Who are you expecting?"

"No one," she said as she looked out the window. There stood Peter and Charlotte and Carlisle with brown bags in their hands. She opened the door. "Hi guys. This is a surprise. Come on in."

Peter hugged Bella hard as he entered. Charlotte came in and didn't say anything and looked disgusted. Carlisle walked in next. He stopped in front of Bella. "We, um brought dinner for you and Edward. I was hoping maybe we could talk?"

"Let me grab my jacket and we can talk on the porch. Here Edward, take this and eat. You haven't eaten since yesterday."

"I had toast."

"Yes, yesterday. Go eat with your niece and nephew. We will be out on the porch," Bella told him as she put her jacket on. She and Carlisle walked outside. Bella hugged herself as familiar silence filled the two of them. "Thank you for dinner. You didn't have to."

"The kids missed Edward and Peter really missed you. I've told you that if he had to choose between you and I, he'd pick you."

"I don't think that is true but thank you for the compliment."

Carlisle stood in front of Bella with his hands in his pockets. "The kids aren't the only ones who miss you. I miss you too. I was wrong when I spoke to you when we got your tree last weekend. I should be more understanding and not so mean."

Bella burst into tears. Immediately without skipping a beat, Carlisle pulled Bella into him as he sobbed. "I should be able to balance both you and Edward but I can't. I can't leave him. Esme thinks he needs help. I don't know what I think but I'm scared for him and-"

The outburst was interrupted by Carlisle kissing Bella. When it finally ended, Carlisle wrapped his arms around her and held her close. "It's not just you Bella, I need to be more understanding too. Edward is my friend and I should be helping you out more. I am going to try more. Maybe I can take him out or come here and spend time with him, just the two of us. This shouldn't all be on you just because you two went through the same situation. You shouldn't be alone."

"Thank you," Bella said resting in his chest. "I've missed you so much Carlisle. I wish I could put myself in two places at once, but I can't. I know even if you don't like it, you can survive without me. Edward, I mean I don't know. He won't talk to his parents. I don't know what else to do."

"You're doing the best that you possibly can. I need to be more understanding and not so jealous."

Bella turned and looked at him. "Esme invited us over for Christmas Eve dinner. She then understood that I made a promise to make dinner for a pretty awesome guy and his kids on Christmas day."

Smiling, Carlisle leaned down and kissed Bella. "Lucky family that guy and kids."

"Will you come to Christmas Eve dinner at the lake house? She even said we could all spend the night if it got too late."

Carlisle thought for a minute. He knew Esme's feelings towards him but he did want to spend time with his girlfriend. "Of course. We'll all go up, come back here for Christmas dinner and spend a few days just being together. I think Charlotte wants to spend time with Jane and Alec wanted Peter to do something during the break so maybe we'd even have a day by ourselves."

Bella kissed Carlisle's lips. "I'd like that. I love you and I do miss you Carlisle, more than you know."

Feelings that Bella was shivering, Carlisle kissed her lips before kissing her nose. "Let's get you back inside. You are freezing and hey," he said as he kissed her again. "Don't forget I love you too."

Bella reached for Carlisle's hand as they went back inside. They both removed their jackets and hung them up before going to the kitchen to have dinner. There was food on Edward's plate, however it looked as if he hadn't eaten any of it since his fork was still clean.

After dinner Bella was helping Charlotte clear the table while Peter pulled Edward and Carlisle into the living room to watch some Christmas special.

"You haven't been out with dad in a while, Charlotte said.

Bella nodded. "There have been things that have come up."

"I know about Uncle Edward and Aunt Tanya. I overheard you and dad talk about it one time. Uncle Eddie is really upset over it, isn't he?"

"He is. I've been trying to help him through it. He's really sad and it is going to take a while to make him happy again," Bella answered honestly.

"I'm glad that he has you but my dad misses you."

"We talked about it on the porch while you, Peter and Uncle Eddie ate all of the bread sticks," Bella smiled. "We are okay honey, I promise."

Charlotte looked at Bella. "Uncle Eddie didn't eat bread sticks or anything. Peter ate all of the bread sticks." Charlotte paused and looked at Bella again. "I know you and Uncle Eddie are close but you are with my dad too. He misses you Bella. You promised me you wouldn't hurt him. Keep that promise, please."

Bella didn't know how to respond when Peter came back into the room. "I made cookies Bella. They are on the counter. Let's watch a movie and eat them."

"Thank you Esme for extending the invitation for Christmas Eve dinner to me and my family," said Carlisle. "It was delicious."

"You're welcome Carlisle. I hope the kids enjoy their gifts. Edward's father and I had fun picking them out," Esme explained.

Elsewhere in the room, Bella was talking to Edward. "I'll see you in a few days Edward. You will be fine. Think of this as a retreat. There is nothing here to bother you. It's relaxing here. Maybe when I come back to get you I'll spend a few days here. Take advantage of the hot tub out there."

Edward didn't say anything. He just nodded. He watched as Carlisle loaded the car and came back. Charlotte and Peter were talking to his parents. He looked at Bella. "Thank you for everything. You really are my best friend Bella. You are my sister. You get me like no one else does."

"It's scary that we kind of share the same mind sometimes," Bella smiled. "I love you Edward. I'll see you in three days."

"Yea, something like that." Edward paused as he had tears in his eyes. "Take care of yourself Swan." He looked over in the direction of Carlisle and the kids who were putting on their jackets. "And them too. Take care of them too."

Raising her eyebrow, Bella looked at Edward. "Okay. You sound a little weird there."

"Just tired I guess. Would you mind telling my mom that I'm going up to bed? I love you Swan," Edward said as he hugged Bella.

"Get some rest there Mason. You're acting weird. Three days until you are mine again. Be nice to Esme." Edward laughed at Bella's comments as he let go of her and walked up the stairs. He looked at her one more time before going into his room.

Bella shook the weird conversation with Edward as his father came over to her. "How is he?"

"Tired. He went up to bed. Keep an eye on him. He was just talking weird. He claimed he was tired but Ed, he sounded weird. Maybe I should stay?"

Shaking his head, Ed hugged her. "No, you go and celebrate the holiday with your boyfriend. You deserve a break. Thank you for taking good care of my son. We are so lucky have you Bella."

"Thanks Ed. If you need anything call me. I might call tomorrow night to check in with him."

"Whatever you need to do honey. Enjoy your gifts too. Carlisle brought them out to the car."

Ed let go of Bella as she walked over to Esme who was crying. "I don't know what's wrong with me. Merry Christmas honey," she said as she hugged Bella. "I don't know why I didn't think of this in the first place, but you and Carlisle and the kids should have stayed her and we all could have celebrated Christmas together. I know it's too late but it would have been an idea. That way you wouldn't have had to go at night."

"It's all good. There is always next year."

Esme hugged Bella again. "I'm really worried about him Bella. Extremely worried. Emmett is going to talk to him tomorrow at dinner, but Bella, he isn't my Edward. He's a shell."

"He's going to get better Esme, I know he is." She paused and looked at her mother figure. "Thank you for including Carlisle and the kids. I know how you feel about him but Esme, I love him. Thank you for accepting that."

"Of course honey, as long as he treats you well, I will like him."

Bella and Esme hugged again but this time it was Bella who pulled Esme into it. "Call me if you need anything or if he does. I'm going to call tomorrow night just to check in."

"Sounds good honey. Thank you for taking care of him,"

"Always Esme, always," Bella promised as she walked towards Carlisle and they prepared to travel back to Carlisle's house.

By the time they reached Carlisle's house, the kids sleepily walked into the house and out themselves to bed. Carlisle promised a quick shower and then he was going to bed. Bella said she'd be up after she placed her gifts under the tree. Then she too went to sleep.

"Wow Bella, this is awesome, even for you!" Peter told her as he bit into his Belgium waffle with whipped cream and strawberries. In addition to the waffles, Bella had made bacon, eggs and home fries.

"Well, I thought it was a good way to start Christmas. Dinner isn't going to be ready until later tonight so enjoy!" Bella smiled as she sat next to Carlisle who too was enjoying the feast. He placed a hand on Bella's knee and squeezed it. Everyone's moods seemed to be happy. Of course the morning love making session did wonders and helped both Bella and Carlisle's moods.

Chatter continued to flow around the table. Even Charlotte found she was happy and smiling. The kids were clearing the table when Bella's phone rang. She was sitting comfortably with Carlisle on the couch when she got up and walked over to the phone. It was Edward. She took a deep breath.

"Hello."

"Bella, can you please come here now and get me? It's too much. I don't want to be here anymore."

"Edward, I'm sorry you are upset, but I can't get you know. I'm about to make dinner for later. I would never be able to drive to the lake and back and have it to be ready."

Edward couldn't help but start to cry. "I really just don't want to be here. Please Bella, please."

Bella looked at Carlisle who was shaking his head. He knew what Edward was asking her. Bella looked away. "Edward I can't get you tonight but how about tomorrow afternoon?"

"Tomorrow?" He asked disappointed. "I guess that's better than nothing. Enjoy your happy holiday," he said as he hung up the phone.

Bella turned to look at Carlisle. He looked at her and held his hands up. "Please don't tell me I heard what I just thought I heard. You're going to pick him up tomorrow? Tomorrow as in our only day to be together?"

"Carlisle-"

"No, this is ridiculous Bella. He has family why can't they help him? Why can't they be with him every waking moment of the day? We were going to be together tomorrow, just the two of us."

"I wish I could be in two places at once Carlisle, but I can't. This is the first Christmas he and Tanya aren't together. It is really hard for him. Why can't you understand that?"

Raising his voice, Carlisle yelled at Bella. "Why can't you understand that all I want to do is spend time with my girlfriend and my kids? It's Christmas. I don't have family I can reach out to and spend time with. I have my kids and I thought you, that's it Bella. That's all I've got."

"I promise I will make it up to you Carlisle, I promise and to the kids too. I'm worried about Edward. He was so weird and cryptic last night when we were leaving. He's not Edward right now."

"Do whatever you feel you have to do Bella," he said as he stormed away.

Bella went back to the kitchen to clean up breakfast. She looked around and looked at the mess and was frustrated. She started washing the dishes and just cried.

Later that evening Bella and Peter made a delicious Christmas dinner. He helped her make her meal consisting of ham, roasted vegetables and mashed potatoes. Peter had made a variety of cookies and a cake for desert. If breakfast was filled with laughter and happiness, dinner was filled with the opposite. Silence filled the table. When the meal was over, Peter and Charlotte had volunteered to clear the plates. Bella had gone up the stairs to Carlisle's office where he was sitting, in the dark.

"Can I come in?" Bella asked as she stood at the door.

"Of course. Come in."

"We need to talk. That was the worse dinner I have ever sat through."

"I thought it was excellent. You and Peter did a great job cooking."

"Stop it Carlisle, you know what I mean. It was quiet and you felt so distant. I hate what is happening between us."

"Me too but you are the only one who can control it Bella and because I'm not Edward you don't give a shit!"

"That isn't fair Carlisle. Not at all."

"I don't know what to think. I come over on more than one occasion and you two are sharing a bed. You are cutting our holiday short because you need to be with him. You are with him at every beck and call. How do I know you aren't with him emotionally because you sure as hell aren't here with me!"

Bella looked at him as she yelled and cried. "You know what, that's it! I can't take this! I'm sorry you are pissed at me because I want to help him out. I'm sorry that you don't understand my relationship with Edward. I'm sorry that you have no idea what that relationship consists of. I pray to god that you never endure the pain and suffering that Edward is going through Carlisle. I'm leaving. I'll talk to you when I came down."

Bella marched down the stairs and grabbed her jacket. She found her car keys and slammed the door without saying good bye to the children and she left. After getting up before the sun came out to prepare breakfast, she was going to begin the long drive to the lake house to be with her family.