Author's Note:
Hi everyone! Hope you enjoy this chapter. I know things look bad for our favorite couple, but have faith. There will be more bumps in the road.
Thanks everyone for making this story a favorite and leaving your thoughts. I love reading them. One chapter sixteen :)
-Lisa
Chapter Sixteen-
"I was surprised when Ed told me you were here all ready. What time did you get here?" Esme asked as she sat with Bella alone at breakfast.
Bella decided not to get into details about her fight with Carlisle. He hadn't called her and she refused to call him. She hadn't even sent him a text saying she arrived safely at the lake house. She had gone to her apartment and packed a bunch of close before she headed out. She decided she wasn't going to think about Carlisle and was going to concentrate on Edward. "I guess it was about one. Edward called earlier in the day and said he needed me. I told him I'd be here today so I figured I'd be here when he woke up," Bella explained.
Esme leaned back in the dining room chair and looked at Bella. "I'm really worried about him Bella. He didn't partake in any of the holiday actives yesterday. He stayed up in his room all day. He didn't talk to Emmett when he went upstairs to talk to him. He wouldn't talk to me or his father. I don't know what to do, I simply don't know."
Bella took Esme's hand and squeezed it. "He will get over this. He will. He worked himself into a hole that only he can dig himself out of." She paused to take toast that was on the table and a cup of water. "I'm going to check on him and bring this up to see if he will take any of it," she explained as she exited the room.
"Knock, knock," Bella said as she opened the door. Even though the sun was shining outside, it looked like the middle of the night in Edward's room. The blinds and drapes were closed. "I'm going to have to turn on a light here, I can't see anything."
Before she could reach over to the light switch, Edward had turned on the bed side lamp. "You did come."
"Yes I did. I actually got here late last night and thankfully Ed was awake otherwise I would have slept in my car. Here, these are for you," she said handing him the food and drink.
"Thank you. I'll have that in a little bit."
Bella sat next to him in bed. Silence engulfed them. Edward ate a quarter piece of toast but drank the water. He held Bella's hand again until he was asleep. In all, the visit was less than a half hour.
Bella took the time to grab a change of clothes and shower in Edward's bathroom, just in case he needed her again. When she came out, Edward still remained asleep in bed. She made her way downstairs.
Esme looked up when she saw Bella. "Did he talk to you?"
"Not really. He drank the water but didn't eat the toast."
Ed sat back in his chair. "I think it's time we get professionals involved. There isn't anything we can do. He's self-destructing. I almost think institutionalizing him might be a good idea."
"No!" Esme cried. Bella sat next to her and rubbed her back. As scary as that sounded, Bella thought it might be their only choice right now.
"Who could that be?" Ed asked as the doorbell rang.
Esme shook her head. "My baby! My son is so incredibly upset and there isn't a thing I can do to help him Bella. It scares me but I think Ed might be right."
"Esme, you have an appointment with Alice?" Ed asked standing at the entry way with who Bella assumed was Alice at his side. Her pixie hair was in perfect order. Her clothes were neat and crisp.
"My goodness, I don't know where my mind is. I should have called you and cancelled this morning. We are having kind of a family emergency."
"I'm so sorry," Alice replied hugging Esme. It appeared to Bella that Alice and Esme were close. "Is there anything I can do?"
"I'm afraid not," Esme smiled sadly. She looked over at Bella. "Where are my manners? Alice, this is Bella."
"Isabella Swan? The resume you gave me?"
"The one in the same. Sometimes Esme likes to gloat," Bella smiled. "Nice to meet you Alice."
"It is really nice to meet you too Isabella."
"Bella please. I am only called Isabella when I am in trouble for something or something serious is happening."
Alice quickly gets giddy and excited. "I hope you don't mind, I called your references and your former employer who spoke extremely highly of you and your work. Esme said you were a household manager now, correct?" Bella nodded. "Why? You are so extremely talented Bella. Why waste your time doing that?"
"Well, I had just moved home after my marriage ended and I needed a job. Esme's son knew someone who needed a household manager and the rest is history."
"Will the family be sad to lose you? I'm about to hire you right now on the spot."
Bella thought about the loaded question. "I was actually looking for a new job because my current employer is actually my current boyfriend. After we began our relationship it didn't feel right to take his money and to work at his home when we both want it to become my home too."
"Wow," Alice replied. "So that won't be a problem."
"I have an idea," Esme said with a smile. "Why don't you two work to remodel Edward's house. Make sure there is no reminders of Tanya there. Ed and I will pay whatever it takes. You both have the design skills and Bella knows Edward so well that she knows his tastes. This could really work. Bella you could still do it while you work for Carlisle."
"That sounds like a great idea to me. I'd love the opportunity to work with you Bella," Alice smiled.
Bella smiled. "Let's do it."
"So I met Alice today," Bella told Edward. Edward hadn't spoken to anyone, including Bella for the rest of the day. He was affectionate with Bella and held her hand and squeezed it, but he made no effort to talk. "I have a new job. She's high energy and I don't know if even with my chai latte addiction that I can keep up with her. It'll be an adventure. I actually have my first assignment and I will be working closely with her on it." Bella paused and looked at Edward. "We are renovating your house. Esme didn't want me to say anything but I feel like it's your house and you need to know." Bella paused again and looked at Edward. He looked a head but didn't say a word.
"Edward I know you are hurting. I know it is painful but you need to make an attempt at living. Esme and Ed, they are scared. I'm scared. This isn't you. There is talk of forcing you to see a shrink. Edward come back to us. I know it may not take a day or a week. But work your way out of the hell that you have put yourself in and come back. I miss you." Bella paused as she cried. "I need you. I need you Edward." Bella looked over at Edward who was fast asleep. She kissed his cheek. "I know you will come back, I just know it."
Bella walked back to her room and laid down. She was filled with so many conflicting emotions. She hadn't realized she was sobbing so loud when her door opened.
"Bella?" Ed asked.
Wiping her eyes, she sat up. "Yes, I'm sorry I am such a mess."
"What's going on?"
"Beside the obvious? I miss him Ed. I miss Edward. I think my relationship with Carlisle is ending and I just landed a new fabulous job and I can't even be happy to enjoy it," Bella cried as Ed sat on her bed and hugged her. "I'm an emotional roller coaster and I don't know how to change it."
"Well, I understand how you are feeling with Edward. What's going on with you and Carlisle?"
"Nothing. I mean, I had time for him. We had all of these plans and then Edward called last night and asked me to come here. Carlisle was so angry with me and honestly I get it. I'm his girlfriend and we haven't been out together. We have dinner at my house but that's about it. We had plans today and I broke them because I was worried about Edward. He hasn't even called, of course I haven't called him either."
"You know what I think?" Ed asked. "I think there is someone downstairs who I just interrogated for almost an hour because I knew there was a reason, besides your love for us and Edward, that you were on our door step so early this morning. He came a little while ago and be thankful that Alice and Esme went to look at something because I honestly think Esme would have been worse on him."
"She doesn't like him much," Bella smiled knowing that he was talking about Carlisle.
"Well, if he keeps breaking our girl's heart then neither one of us will like him. Should I send him up stairs?"
Bella wiped her tears and nodded. Ed gave her a kiss on her forehead and left the room. Bella sat up in her bed and waited what seemed like eternity until there was a knock at the door.
"Come in," she answered.
Slowly, the door opened and Carlisle let himself in. He closed the door and walked slowly over to Bella. He sat next to her but didn't say anything. He looked at her and finally spoke. "I had no reason to yell at you last night. I had no reason to let you walk out that door and not go after you. I had no reason to let you drive here, alone in the snow. I haven't been a good friend to Edward either. I'm an idiot and I am going to say it even though I know it isn't enough but I'm sorry. I'm sorry I was such an asshole last night."
Bella didn't respond with words. She leaned into him and kissed him. Tears spilled from her eyes as she hung on to him. Her tears turned into sobs. She cried into Carlisle's shoulder. He rubbed her back and rocked her.
When she was finally composed, they both laid down. Carlisle never let go of her in far that she would have another break down. "Will you tell me what you are thinking?"
Bella looked down at his hands on her stomach. She squeezed them. "I was worried that I walked out on us. I was worried that you were so angry with me and didn't understand. I didn't think you'd talk to me again. I'm scared Edward-Edward isn't Edward. He's not talking Carlisle. He isn't eating. Ed and Esme talked about institutionalizing him. I know it's the right thing to do but my heart is breaking for him too. I don't know what to do. I'm afraid that you are going to be mad at me."
Carlisle kissed her head and held her closer. "There is a lot going on in there. Let's start with us. Don't worry. We don't fight often but when we do we do have a good match. It's healthy Bella to argue. One of us has to act childish and foolish and if you are keeping me in my place that means it has to be me, right? I'm not mad at you."
Bella took a breath. "I got the job with Alice. She came here today because she had an appointment with Esme and Esme gave her my resume at some point. I didn't know. Alice called my former employer and my references and she offered me a job right here."
Carlisle sat up. "Bella, that is great! I'm so happy for you! We will have to celebrate. I'm so happy for you. I'm not mad, Bella. I'm really, really happy for you. I'm proud of you baby."
"You don't know how much I appreciate hearing that from you. I was really really worried."
"As for your worries with Edward, speaking medically not as his friend, I think unless he turns himself around, institutionalizing him might not be a bad idea. He is in a bad place and needs help. More help than you or I or even his parents can give him." Bella began to cry again as Carlisle held her as close as he could to his body. "I know that isn't what you want to hear, but it is my honest opinion."
Nodding through her tears, Bella turned and looked at Carlisle. "I agree with you. It's just hard. I feel like I am turning my back on him if I go along with it."
"You aren't. You have done everything humanly possible Bella to help him. You can't do any more."
Bella's response was interrupted by shouting. "What? No! No! NO! Fuck no! Bella wouldn't agree with you. She wouldn't! Bella!" Bella heard a voice as footsteps stormed up the stairs and outside of Bella's bed room. Feeling startled, Carlisle held Bella close and behind him.
"Bella," Edward said as he opened the door. "Be-Carlisle? I-I didn't know you were here."
"I just got here a little while ago. How are you Edward?"
If Carlisle hadn't known Edward, he would have thought he was a homeless man. The once almost metrosexual was a far cry from the man standing in front of him. He had a messy beard and his hair was out of place and growing out of control. He looked like a wild caveman.
Ignoring Carlisle's question, Edward continued. "Bella, my dad said they want to institutionalize me. Tell him I'm fine. I'll get better. I promise. I'll talk and eat and do all of that stuff but please don't throw me into a nut house, please," he said as he sobbed in Bella's lap. "I'm not crazy, I'm just sad. I'm so sad."
Bella looked at Carlisle as she rubbed Edward's head. Tears were escaping from her eyes as well. "Please Bella, please," Edward continued.
"Edward, your parents want what is best for you."
"I can't go to a nut house! I'm not crazy!"
"It's not a nut house Edward and no one thinks you are crazy."
"Don't make me go. I'm not really that unbearable, am I?" Edward wept.
Taking a breathe, Bella looked at Carlisle for support. He squeezed her shoulder. "Listen Edward, I think you should at least see a therapist. Someone to talk to who-"
Edward lifted his head in a quick jerk. "You think I'm crazy too!"
"No I don't Edward. No I don't. I think you need help."
"You don't think that I'm crazy?"
"No one thinks that you are crazy," Carlisle chimed in.
"What if we do this," Bella spoke up. "You can still continue to stay with me but you have to see a therapist. Just weekly visits. Just something because I can't help you. I can listen to you and love you and relate to how you are feeling and support you but I can't give you the advice that you need."
Edward stared at Bella. The look actually frightened Carlisle. He held Bella close to him. Edward finally looked at his best friend. "All right, I'll do it. I'll get help but no nut houses."
Edward returned to Bella's a few weeks after the new year. In that time, Bella was able to start her new job. She and Alice worked with an architect to completely change the format of Edward's house with the hope he would soon be able to return.
During Edward's delayed return back to Bella spent most of her time with Carlisle and his children. She spent many nights in his bed and it felt like things were getting back to the way they were. Bella also visited Edward and looked for a therapist for him.
Unfortunately when Edward returned at the end of January, he was still depressed. He attended one appointment with his therapist and decided he didn't like her. He never went to the second appointment and continued to mope around the house. He had no interest in finding a new one.
Bella was now going from work, picking up the kids and making dinner at her house. Edward was at the point that he didn't want to see anyone, even Carlisle and his children. He only wanted to be with Bella and even then he either yelled at her or didn't speak to her. He was getting worse. Bella was stressed out and her relationship with Carlisle was starting to strain again.
The Thursday before Valentine's Day, Bella was sitting at her computer and just started at the blank screen.
"Uh, Bella, you do realize your screen is off and its time to go home, right?" Alice asked as she gathered her belongings.
Bella looked up at Alice and sighed. Alice was aware of what Edward's situation was. She had become a confidant of Bella's since she began her job. "Alice I'm stressed out. I'm pretty sure Carlisle is mad at me and Edward is changing again. Esme and Ed are picking him up tomorrow so Carlisle and I can have a Valentine's day. I just wrote them an email and told them I can't do it any more. Edward isn't going to his therapy sessions. He went to one. He is losing more weight. He is even yelling at me now. He's worse. I suggested that maybe we admit him to a hospital. The man who has taken over his body isn't him. I hope we can get him back."
Alice nodded taking everything in. She looked at Bella. "You told them that in an email?"
"Yes. We don't talk about it because if Edward hears us, he goes crazy and starts crying. The email is to prevent that from happening. I miss my friend."
"I used to have a crush on him when I was younger. My parents are good friends with his. I'm not estranged from my parents any more, but that's a whole another story for another day. Before we moved to Oregon, I used to go over his house frequently. I was thirteen and had a huge crush on him. Did you and Edward ever date?"
"No, no, no, no! He has been my best friend since birth. Esme and Ed actually were my brother and my guardians when we were growing up. Both of our parents died. Edward has always been more of a brother to me than Jasper, my brother. Edward is the kindest soul. I love him as if he were my brother. He didn't deserve what Tanya and Jasper did to him. He was there for me when my marriage ended for the same reasons, however this is so much worse than I was. I could just strangle Jasper and Tanya. I don't know what they were thinking. I just wish he'd come back Alice," Bella said as she began to cry. "He's grown up to be a great guy but you wouldn't know it right now."
Feeling uncomfortable, Alice handed Bella a tissue and changed the subject. "What are you and Carlisle doing for Valentine's Day tomorrow night?"
Shrugging her shoulders, Bella looked at Alice. "I'm not sure. We haven't really been talking. We've been screaming at each other. I miss my boyfriend and his kids. I don't want to argue any more but he has to realize I need to be there for Edward too."
"I don't know Carlisle but he seems pretty great from what you have said. The man is equally as frustrated as you are. Not only is he missing you, but no matter how close you and Edward are, he is in competition for your time from another man. He hates it. Plus he knows Edward has been upsetting you and that upsets him because you're upset. Cut the man some slack. He is just as stressed out as you are. You need to know there isn't anything you can do for Edward. He has hit rock bottom and he is the only one who can bring himself up from it."
"Wow," Bella said looking up at Alice. "You're smart and beautiful. Why are you single? Your absolutely right."
"Oh my god, I love you. Harder," Bella moaned. She wrapped her arms around his neck and faced him as he Carlisle pushed deeper into her. Valentine's Day night brought a dinner, alone. The kids went to their friends' houses and Edward was picked up by his parents earlier in the day. After dinner and a long talk about their feelings, Carlisle and Bella were expressing their love for each other.
Carlisle leaned in and kissed Bella's lips. "I love you so much." He lifted his head and buried it in between Bella's breasts. Tenderly licked and tenderly kissed both of them.
"No more kissing, harder. I want you deeper in me," Bella breathed. As they began a fast, steady rhythm, Bella's phone rang.
"Do you want to get that?" Carlisle yelled with a smile on his face.
"No! It's just you and me tonight. Faster," she begged as she reached her hand down on her clit. She rubbed it as Carlisle moved faster.
"Let me do that," Carlisle grunted Bella as he moved her hand aside. He replaced her fingers with his. Gently he rubbed her helping her to achieve bliss. As he was pumping full strength into Bella, his phone began to ring. He slowed down. "Maybe we should get that. It might be one of the kids," he said as he pulled out of Bella. He searched through his pants and by the time he found his phone, the ringing had stopped. His house phone rang next.
"I'll grab it," Bella said frustrated as she leaned across the bed and to Carlisle's night table. It would figure that one of the kids were probably sick at their friend's house. "Hello?"
"Bella?" Ed asked on the other line.
Sighing, Bella leaned back on the pillow. She mouthed who the caller was as she looked at Carlisle. "Yea, hi Ed. What's going on?"
Ed broke down crying. "It's Edward. He's- it's bad Bella."
"Ed, slow down. What is going on?"
Taking a deep breath, Ed told Bella the truth. "He's in the hospital and we don't know what's going to happen. You need to get here as soon as you can."