Gumi laid out on her bed, her arms resting up above her head gently as her shirt rode up her stomach and she stared at the ceiling. Her chest was throbbing and burning with pain, her eyes constantly burned with unshed tears and her heart felt like it was splitting while her stomach felt it could hold nothing in it, not even food or water for it was so tight it felt uncomfortable and sickening to even think of eating. She blinked softly and it caused a few tears to slip down her temples.
All of her friends were in Yukari's room watching a movie, having a sleep over and she never felt less included in her entire life and she felt like she was all alone much like she had been all the way back in elementary school when she hadn't met Luka, Rin or Miku. She felt just like that and without warning her eyes filled with unshed tears and she closed her eyes tight causing a little spray of tears to fly into the air with her blink and she sat up slowly covering her face with her hands and a little whimper slid from her lips. She brought this onto herself, didn't she? It was her fault, all of it!
She should have pushed Luka away that night. Shouldn't have let her drunken choices affect Gumi's much more clearer choices but she gave in, just drunk on the sensation of Luka's wandering hands. She hated herself right then. She screwed everything up and she felt that her friendship between her and Luka was broken permanently. That they would never go back and never be able to laugh like lunatics, sit around and eat as much as their stomaches could handle with watermelon or even licorice in the summer and be joined at the hip with each other during the school year.
She allowed everything to break with one damn mistake just because she couldn't hold it all in anymore and needed an outlet, needed to get it out and Luka was drunk and she was just drunk from Luka's nearness that she didn't think of the after effects. She rubbed at her cheeks to remove the tears but more just followed and then there was a little knock at the door. She felt her heart flicker just a little bit with hope that it was Luka but she squished it immediately. The door opened to reveal Miku who looked at Gumi with concern shining in her eyes.
"Gumi are you okay?" Miku asked walking into the room shutting door behind her.
"No I'm really not. I feel like things between me and Luka are broken beyond prepare." Gumi said as more tears welled in her eyes and Miku ran forward throwing her arms around Gumi, hugging her tightly maybe tighter than Gumi would have liked.
"It's okay! Luka just needs some time is all! She loves you Gumi and you love her. Things will work out I promise!" Miku rushed the words out but they were slightly comforting and Gumi hugged Miku back tight. "But Gumi I. . .I think you should talk to her though."
"Talk to her? She won't even look at me!" Gumi cried but she felt some part of her mind turning slowly to the idea.
"That's because you won't approach her first Gumi." Miku said softly pulling back slowly, her teal eyes seeming to burn into Gumi's making the green haired vocaloid eyes widened and she looked straight at Miku. "Luka is hurting just like you are. You need to say something and soon before everything truly IS broken between you too."
"How can I though? It was my stupid mistake to have sex with her and then she's making out with Gakupo, getting drunk and then ignoring me. It. . . Miku how would you feel if Kaito did that to you?" Gumi demanded, her green eyes hard with a look as her sentence abruptly changed to a question and Miku looked slightly surprised then looked down, her eyes darkening slightly.
"I would be heart broken. I would be so hurt he would do something like that and wouldn't wanna talk to him for a while but then I'd forgive him." Miku replied surprising Gumi a little bit as she looked at her friend.
"How would you be able to forgive him?" Gumi asked as she looked at Miku curiously.
"Because I love him, he's mine and I'm his and we're nothing without one another, especially without trust between us. That's what you need to do Gumi, get that trust between you and Luka, talk to her and tell her how you feel." Miku said reaching out grabbing Gumi's hand tightly and she kissed Gumi's cheek softly. "It'll work out I promise you that."
"How can you know that?" Gumi mumbled making Miku smile at her softly and she squeezed her hand softly.
"I just know it will." Miku said with a smile and she stood up letting go of Gumi's hand then walked to the door. "You should come nad watch the movies with us Gumi."
"Maybe." She mumbled again as Miku chuckled then left, the door clicking shut softly. Huh. Gumi allowed herself to flop back and she stared up at the ceiling and let her hands fist the blankets softly over and over again as she laid there when there was the soft click and creak of the door opening again. She sighed out gently not bothering to even look at the door. "If you're coming to talk to me again Miku it's fine, I'm feeling kind of better."
"Well I'm glad you're feeling better, but I'm not Miku." The person said making Gumi jolt hard and her eyes widened into wide, perfect circles as she jerked up into a half sitting position and looked at Luka who was smiling ever so weakly.
"L-Luka!" Gumi gasped out unable to say anything more but just her name which seemed to give her shivers when she said it and Luka shut the door softly, her dark blue eyes looking at Gumi.
"Gumi, I'm. . . .sorry. I shouldn't have told you to forget that night, I shouldn't have tried so hard to avoid you after it and I shouldn't have kissed Gakupo. I'm sorry for everything Gumi, I just want us to go back to being the friends we were before everything happened." Luka rushed out, the words seemingto explode out of her and her eyes begged Gumi to understand, to agree but. . . Gumi couldn't.
Days ago if someone came to her with this kind of problem she'd say it'd be easy to be friends, to jke about it and understand but Gumi herself could not agree to being friends. She'd been crushing heavily on Luka over the years that she could easily say that she. . . that she loved and was IN love with Luka. She couldn't be friends with her now, not when she had sex with her and had a taste of what that relationship could be and she felt tears pressing heavily in her eyes and she looked down slightly, swallowing hard.
"Luka I. . . I can't go back to being friends. It's too hard for me to just. . be friends." Gumi said slowly as tears burned and she clenched her jaw tight and Luka had tears glistening in her eyes and she ran forward sitting down quick on the bed in front of Gumi reaching her hands out grabbing her hands tight.
"Please Gumi! I want to be friends with you again! I can't. . I can't handle not aving you in some role in my life, we've been friends for so long and I don't want that to change!" Luka cried out tears beginning to slid down her cheeks and Gumi felt her own rising tears burn and well then slide down also but she couldn't be friends. She just couldn't.
"I can't be friends. I. . Luka I'm in love with you. I always have been for as long as I can remember and after what happened that night I can't even think, can't accept to going back to being friends with you! I want to be more with you and be able to have sex with you without you being drunk, to be able to be happy with you and know that you're mine and I'm yours like Kaito and Miku! I just. . can't go back to being friends." Gumi finally finished, the tears making scorching paths down he rcheeks and the pain attacking her was so unbarable that she felt like she wanted to claw her heart out of her chest right then. God why was this so hard?
"Gumi please I can't lose you. I just can't.' Luka whispered, her voice dropping quickly and tears continued sliding down and when Gumi looked at her she swooped forward locking their lips together deep.
Luka's eyes widened then slid shut and Gumi moved closer to her, her tears stopping briefly making the kiss salty however and she held Luka's hand tight in hers and she felt Luka's free arm slid around her waist pulling her closer and the kiss seemed to spark with electricity as Gumi slid her own arms around Luka holding her closely. She wanted the kiss to go on forever, to keep this feeling going but they pulled apart slowly looking at one another and Gumi felt pain searing through her. This was all she could have wasn't it? It was all.
Then Luka surprised her by leaning forward kissing her again. She responded maybe a little to eagerly and she was pushed back and the kiss continued, deepened, became loving and slow, fast and eager and all the while their hands remained locked together tight. When they pulled apart slowly Luka was laying next to Gumi, her dark blue eyes looking deep into Gumi's bright green ones and an indentical blush staining both of their cheeks as they looked at one another hen a smile began to bloom between them slightly.
It was a slow and shy one that held so much between them and Gumi hugged her tightly and Luka hugged her back just as tight. She wanted this to last forever, just like the kiss, but she began to wonder what exactly tomorrow would bring. When she felt Luka's lip flutter across her cheek bone her heart stuttered and seemed to burst with a sparky feeling that had her blood rushing through her but she shut her eyes softly. She loved this feeling but more than anything in that world right now, she just loved the feeling of Luka resting in her arms, the feel of her breath brushing softly over her cheek and knew she would cling to this moment for eternity. No matter what tomorrow might bring.