First of all, I just want to send out all my love to everyone who are right now suffering from what happened 11/13, my heart is full of anger, confusion and sorrow. Life is so fragile and it can change so fast. After I heard the news I called my parents and told them how much I love them, after that I called my friends, two of them were in Paris just last weekend, and told them the same. If you are bad at telling people how much you appreciate or love them, do it now. It's by remembering the love and daring to hold onto love that will help us get trough this.

Of course this means I also want to give a huge thanks to all of you who read this story and give your continued support. It means a lot and like always, I love hearing from you guys!

Now I was going to cut this chapter, but considering everything, I decided to leave it as it was first written.

Guest (1): Haha I thank you, I like getting props for being evil for some strange reason! But I think it will end after this chap ;) So glad you like the story, hope you'll like this chap as well!

Laidyx: I actually feel terrible for breaking your heart, but I hope it will start to heal soon as people will try to do stuff so that the suffering, hopefully, will end! However, I'm also very happy you enjoyed the chapter despite the pain!
I can understand that living in the desert must be a pain at times, I can hardly imagine living in the scorching sun! I send you rays of not burning sun and falling snow, hoping it helps a little! xoxo

Noctus Fury: First of all I'm so happy to hear from you again and there really is no reason to apologize, I'm just happy you took the time to give your thoughts on the chapters you had missed and that you have enjoyed them! When it comes to maid/Hiccup action, there will be more mentions of that and I'm very happy those scenes have grown on you, they are a delight to write.

Yes, a treaty with Corona should be possible, especially now considering how well they all get along. When it comes to Hiccup and Toothless, I would say those two do have a special connection founded in how deeply they care and love each other. It's not a mental link, but just like old couples who seem to reach each others thoughts, they share something special. If that is a bond as soulmates or something else I think only Grandpabi knows, but as you know he dosen't like to share his secrets. ;)

Yes, what did he tell Astrid? We'll have to see if we ever find out! And yes it was that chapter, the kiss that was so close yet so far away! But I was so happy when you said the story felt realistic, it's kind of the best praise I can get! And to your last questions, you'll just have to keep on reading, though I can say that Heather won't be making an appearance in this story, but maybe in another!

SSB: Thank you so much, it makes me really happy to hear you like it!

Guest (2 chapter 14): New chapter is up! Thank you for your kind words, I'm so happy to hear that you like and that you find the chapters worth waiting for!

Guest (3 chapter 1): Thank you so much! I'm happy (in a strange way) that you like the heartache. This is a new take that I really enjoy exploring and it's so fun to hear that you like where it is going!

Also a special shoutout to venom828 who became the 100 th person to favorite this story and its 150 th follower, if you want a special snippet card for the next chap, send me a PM and I will send it to you! Or you can save it for later chapters!

Now I would feel a little evil if all of my readers didn't get the chance of a snippet card, (because I love all of you) so if you can find the song I referenced to in this chap, you will earn a snippet card as well! I can tell you it's in the third part of this chapter and that it was released just last month by a British singer! Good luck!

15.

Hiccup was sitting by the table that served as his desk in the house he previously had shared with his dad, but that he now shared with his mother instead. Despite the fact that he wasn't living alone, the memories of all the years he had lived with his father still, at times, made it feel like there was an emptiness to the house that had never been there before.

Hiccup was working on getting through the massive amount of papers on his desk, the pile seemingly endless no matter how many hours he trying to get through it. It hadn't exactly helped either that he, earlier during the day, had been held up when the twins, who had decided that their young students and their newly bonded dragons needed "field work", had managed to set three houses on fire and nearly blown up the Great Hall.

Not that it was something out of the ordinary.

His mom was sitting by the fireplace, mending a saddle that had started to break slightly and there was a comfortable silence between them that was broken when the front door suddenly opened, both turning to see who had entered.

Seeing their visitor, his mom turned back to her work with a small smile on her face while Hiccup looked at Snotlout with a curios expression. His cousin rarely sought him out and it was even more rare to see him look so extremely nervous as he did now. His eyes were travelling between Hiccup and Valka constantly while he had his hands behind his back.

"Are you letting yourself inside now?" Hiccup asked his cousin, expecting a comeback as usual, but to his surprise Snotlout only stopped and looked around, shifting his weight from one foot to the other as if unsure how to begin. Looking at him, Hiccup knew that the best thing to do was just to wait the other man out.

"You know I'm only coming here since you're the Chief, I'm not asking you anything because I seek your opinion in any other case." Snotlout finally said quickly, a bit of his normal proud tone present while he threw a glance at Valka who rose from her seat and walked out of the room, sending Hiccup a wink before closing the door behind her.

"Good to know nothing is out of ordinary then." Hiccup replied drily, over the years having learned that Snotlout only defended an action if it was the actual truth. "So, what are you thinking about that you need my opinion on as your Chief?" Hiccup asked, gesturing for Snotlout to sit down on the chair standing next to the table.

Sitting down Snotlout looked even more insecure as he seemed to struggle with himself, now wringing his hands since he couldn't change his weight.

"Well… uhm… What do you think of Ingrid?" Snotlout finally asked, looking anywhere but at Hiccup who studied him closely.

To be honest, Hiccup wasn't completely surprised by the question. Even before he had traveled to Arendelle he had noticed that Snotlout's interest in the younger girl didn't appear to be fleeting, something that had only been confirmed even more since he came back. Also there had been Snotlout's very genuine comment about Ingrid being the most beautiful woman in the world the night before, which had been a give away if nothing else.

"If you want to know if I think she would make a good wife to you then yes, I do." Hiccup replied, going straight to the case. At the blush that spread over Snotlout's face Hiccup couldn't help to smile, finding his embarrassment highly amusing.

"That's not what I was asking Hiccup, you shouldn't jump to conclusions!" Snotlout exclaimed before another silence fell between them, Snotlout once again seemingly having a very hard time saying what was really on his mind.

Now, Hiccup would lie if he didn't say he enjoyed seeing Snotlout squirm a bit at times, but even he knew when it was the time to have some mercy.

"Snotlout, I'm not going to pretend to know what you really came here to ask me, or why you asked me what I think about Ingrid, but if you came here to ask for my permission to marry her then I want you to know that I see no reason why I shouldn't give it to you. She apparently cares for you very deeply, you get along well with her family and I know you will be able to provide for her well." He therefore said, Snotlout's eyes darting to him.

"I wasn't going to ask that Hiccup, thinking-he-knows-all-things, but now when you brought it up, I actually might consider it. If you really think, I'd be able to take care of her." Snotlout said, adding the last part quickly as he tried, and failed, to hide the excitement in his eyes.

"I really think you will." Hiccup replied, seeing that the last doubt disappeared from Snotlout's eyes, being replaced by determination instead.

"Then I'll go and think about it, but I have to talk to Ingrid first… not to ask her but to… well I just need to talk to her." Snotlout said, not coming up with a better reply before he rose and and hurried out of the room.

Seeing him nearly run out of front door Hiccup shook his head at the other man, feeling happy that Snotlout had found a woman who had come to love his not always tactful comments and who, somehow, had managed to see past the tough surface he also fought so hard to uphold. After all, it was hard enough finding a person you could love, it was even harder finding someone who could love you back.

At the thought, ice-blue eyes flashed before his eyes and a sharp pain cut through his heart. Closing his eyes, Hiccup tried to push away the emotional turmoil from the night before that had refused to leave him alone. All day it had been erupting at the most unexpected moments and each time it filled him with longing until he finally managed to quench again, at least for while.

The only difference was that this time a new feeling was mixed with the others and it was directed towards the happiness he felt for Snotlout and Ingrid. Jealousy. He was jealous for what they had, that Snotlout could just go and ask for permission to marry the girl he loved and who would most likely say yes.

They had gotten the chance to finding happiness with each other while he and Elsa had never even gotten the opportunity to figure out if there could've been something between them at all.

"It was about time he asked you, I thought he'd be here knocking on our door the moment you returned from Arendelle." His mother said, bringing him out of this thoughts as she returned into the room with a smile on her face.

"Were you listening?" Hiccup asked, managing to give her a small smile in return as he once again managed to push away all thoughts of Elsa and only focus on the present.

"I didn't have to; I've seen him standing outside every night for the past week trying to gather his courage to talk to you." She replied with a chuckle, sitting down on the chair Snotlout had just occupied.

"Well you know Snotlout, he always has a trouble to admitting that he needs to ask anyone for anything." Hiccup said.

"Yes he's quite like his father in that way and this means that we'll have a wedding to plan, which also means you'll have to think about if there are any tribes or kingdoms that has to be invited. It's Snotlout were are talking about after all, this will be grand and he is your cousin." His mother said, Hiccup suddenly on his guard as he looked into her knowing eyes that was so similar to his own.

"Kingdoms?" He repeated, not liking the look in his mother's eyes at all since it was far too calculating.

"Wouldn't it be rude not to invite the Queen of Arendelle when she invited you?" Valka said, trying to sound causal, knowing instantly that she had failed when Hiccup immediately shut down all trace of emotions right in front of her.

The moment she had reentered the room she had seen the troubled look on Hiccup's face, a look that had been far too common since his visit to Arendelle. The sight pained her each time she saw it and even though she had hoped he wouldn't shut down when she brought up the subject, she was not surprised at all.

After all he had done the same for the past two years whenever she tried to bring his father into the conversation.

"I hardly think they'd have the time, besides it's not I who have the final say it's Snotlout and Ingrid." Hiccup answered her with a distant voice, turning back to his papers.

Watching him Valka felt a deep sorrow in her heart, for no matter what her son seemed to think, she wasn't stupid. Sure she hadn't known him for more than a few years of his life, but that didn't mean she hadn't noticed how he had changed from an optimistic, and slightly goofy, young man into a Chief who gave everything to his tribe but had lost the spark of freedom and curiosity any young man should have.

After his return from Arendelle she had noticed another change in him as well. There was a new sadness in his eyes now when he thought no one was watching and she had seen how he, at times, would look into the fire as if his mind was somewhere else entirely. She had seen how he avoided talking about Arendelle and its Queen with more efficiency than a Changewing disappeared into its background, acting as if he had never been there at all. But she had also noticed that he seemed uncomfortable with Astrid's new, and surprising, advances.

So while she knew she couldn't claim to know everything about Hiccup, she had had enough personal experience with a longing and pained heart to not recognize it in her own son whom she loved more than anything left in this realm.

After all, she herself had pushed away the voice telling her that she should return to her son and husband for twenty years. Through her conviction that it was better for them if she stayed away, and through her extreme stubbornness, she had managed to hide away the love and deny the pain that the loss had caused her every single day.

But for twenty years she had never been truly happy and everyday she still regretted that she had missed seeing her only son grow up.

So since his return from Arendelle, Valka had more and more come to realize that Hiccup was now doing what she had done for two decades and, just like her, he seemed to be getting better at it as time passed. What he didn't know though was that she was done seeing him constantly unhappy and that, while she might have accepted that he would never open up about his father's death, she was not going to allow him to make the same mistake she had done when it came to love.

Still she knew that she would have to be careful since Hiccup would just leave if she became to persistent, an irritating trait he had inherited from his father.

"You know Berk is not quite the same without you Hiccup, I can see how happy everyone is that you're back home." She therefore began carefully, watching him closely as he turned back to her. Just like she had hoped his eyes softened slightly, but she could still see that he was on his guard.

"And you know I'm glad to be back. I knew you and Gobber would do a great job, but I like having the chance to overlook things myself." Hiccup said, putting down the pen as he turned towards her again.

"Your father would've said the same." She smiled, happy that he seemed to find her comment to be okay since he sent her a small smile.

"I don't think I can ever be the Chief dad was." He replied, Valka seeing the hurt in his eyes before he looked away from her. In that moment Valka wanted to grab a hold of him and tell him to stop shutting her out, but she already knew it was useless for she had tried it before.

"The tribe doesn't compare you two, Hiccup. You've become their Chief through and through, they have full faith in you son, and I know your father would've been proud." She said instead, meaning every word.

Hearing her say it, Hiccup felt warmth spread within, hoping that his father really would've been proud about his decisions to increase Berk's contact with the rest of the world.

But her words also confirmed how much he was needed on Berk and that meant they also reminded him that he was bound to his home, turning them into a weight that weighed him down heavily. Feeling a small tingle in his fingers, he clenched his hands a few times to push away the feeling, trying to ignore the fact that his mother was watching him carefully.

"Thanks mom, it means a lot to me." He finally replied, meaning the words while he, at the same time, wished she had never said them and that they hadn't meant so much.

"It's the truth and sometimes we need to hear it, just like you need to hear something else." She replied, pausing for a second to make sure he had his full attention. "You aren't happy here Hiccup." She said firmly, causing Hiccup to stare her for a second before opening his mouth to, probably, contradict her. But she interrupted him immediately with a stern expression.

"I may not have been a part of your life for long but I can still see it Hiccup. There's no need to deny that this life is not making you happy, in fact I think you're at times even very miserable." She said.

Looking into her eyes, Hiccup could see the concern and love she felt for him shine back at him. Seeing her concern, he knew he couldn't lie to her, but there was no need to tell her the whole truth either.

"Mom you know that as long as the tribe is happy and well, that's all I need to be the same since it means I'm doing this right." He therefore replied, but his mother only sent him a sad smile.

"Looks like the Queen of Arendelle hasn't only managed to steel my sons heart but she has turned him into a diplomat as well." She said, her sad eyes shining a little when all Hiccup could do was stare at her, wondering if he had heard her correctly.

"I can understand it though, from what I've heard she sounds like a very interesting and challenging young woman who is also happens to be strong and very intelligent." She added, a real smile now spreading over her face as Hiccup only kept on staring at her.

"What…?" Hiccup finally managed to get out, not really knowing what to say. Giving him a knowing look his mother rose and left the room only to return a moment later with his sketch book in her hands. Opening it, she turned a few pages before placing it on the desk in front of him.

Staring back at him from the table was the picture of Elsa down by the pond, the one he had tried and failed to finish since he had come to realize that he could never do her justice.

What he, unknowingly to a start, had managed to convey though was the raw emotion behind the drawing. It was almost painfully clear and it was the reason he had known no one could ever see it. In fact, no one had never been supposed to see any drawing of her for, even though they were not as telling, they all held traces of his emotions for her.

"She is a rare beauty, Fishlegs was right when he said she outshines us all." His mother said softly, looking at him with understanding eyes, but all Hiccup could feel was that he had somehow been betrayed and as a result he could feel the anger rise within.

"Have you been going through my room for this?" He asked, not able to mask the anger that also was a way cope with the panic he felt at the knowledge that she knew what he had tried to hide.

"Of course not, you left it out on the table that night when the Whispering Death attacked. I was just going to put it back when I saw this, although I had my suspicions even before that." She told him calmly, Hiccup's anger dying away as fast as it had appeared when he remembered the event.

It had been the same day he had sent away Sharpshot with his short reply to Elsa and his mother was right, he had forgotten the book on the table and he had not opened it since in his attempt to forget her. Looking down at the drawing, seeing the woman he missed so much, Hiccup was unable to take his eyes off of her. Though it wasn't perfect, it still showed the depth to Elsa that had drawn him to her and made his memories from that moment to come alive.

"How old is she?" His mother suddenly asked, Hiccup realizing that he had been staring at the drawing for too long. He had even forgotten his mother was sitting next to him.

"Uhm… we are the same age." He answered, closing the book so he no longer had to see what was hidden inside. "But she took over many years before me." He added, feeling very awkward with the whole situation since he really didn't want to talk about it.

"Then I suppose that she's a wise ruler." His mother replied, a tense moment of silence spreading between them. Hoping the conversation was over, Hiccup began to turn back to his work when his mother suddenly spoke again. "Do you know if she feels the same way?" She asked, looking at him with eyes glittering with curiosity.

"Oh come on!" Hiccup exclaimed, startled by her question.

"You're not denying it." She smiled at him, Hiccup feeling a strange mix of happiness and irritation over her the excitement in her eyes, but he wasn't going to show it.

"What is this, an interrogation?" He muttered instead, glaring at her. However, he could see that his response only seemed confirm her thoughts even more for, to his great disappointment, her smile only grew.

"A mother has the right to be curios, now tell me something about her that I haven't heard from Fishlegs." She said, at first thinking that she had succeeded and that Hiccup would open up to her when he seemed to consider telling her something, but then he only sighed as the fire in his eyes faded away once more.

"I really have to keep working." He replied instead and seeing the sadness in his eyes, Valka felt her heart break a little. But now he was showing that at least.

"I'll not force you to tell me anything son, but I still think you should invite them here Hiccup. You if anyone should know that it would be rude not to do so when they invited you." She said, hoping that bringing an obligation into their conversation would change his mind.

But instead his eyes only turned even darker and filled with the stubbornness she recognized in herself and that had been so prominent in Stoick.

"Mom, first of all, even if I did feel something for the Queen, which I'm not saying I do, it wouldn't matter for she is bound to Arendelle just as I'm bound to Berk. Secondly, no one from Arendelle can travel to Berk in the ships they have now when the weather is turning. I'll send a letter with the news and explain that I don't want to risk their lives. Now I really have to continue getting through this." He said, turning back to his work and efficiently ending the conversation.

Looking at him Valka knew that she had lost this battle, but that didn't mean she had lost the war. She wasn't going to allow her only son to go through his life wondering and longing for something he had told himself he could never have, especially when there was a possibility that the woman who held his affection returned it and his arguments were nothing but nonsense.

Still, if he wanted to be stubborn she was not going to argue with him for she knew it would get her nowhere. Therefore, instead of trying to change his mind, Valka only rose and sat down in her former spot as she continued working with the saddle.

She knew that when Snotlout and Ingrid announced their engagement she would have to congratulate them just like everyone else. That she then might also mention the possibility that the Queen of Arendelle would attended their wedding if they sent her an invitation was another matter entirely.

Besides, Hiccup himself had said that it was the bride and groom who choose whom they wanted to invite to the wedding. If they wanted to invite the Queen of Arendelle to fulfil Ingrid's wish to meet a real Queen, simply because Valka had mentioned it, it was not her fault. She only wanted to see Ingrid happy and no one could blame her for that, not even Hiccup.

It had been a little more than three months since the Vikings, Rapunzel and Eugene had left Arendelle to go back home. Three months that had seemed more like three years than anything else. Life at court had returned to normal for everyone except for Elsa, she was changed. The endless dinners, plans and political alliances had always left her a bit tired, but they had been her purpose and given her life meaning. Now they only seemed to stretch out in all eternity and while she often had had the feeling that life sometimes was passing her by, she had never felt that she was losing a part of life that she wanted.

Of course she was well aware of the reason for her new feelings, they all came from the loss and the void in her heart that he had left behind. Hiccup.

The first month after he had gone away she had tried to suppress her feelings for him. She had even tried to see if her affection could turn to someone else, having tried talking to Lord Lejionhufvd who was both a very kind and handsome young man, but it had been no use and after some time she had simply given up trying.

Hiccup had thawed her heart, a feat no one had ever seceded with before. He had spread his warmth to her, filling her with feelings that she had never felt and now when he was gone her heart longed after those feelings again. It wanted to feel the spark in her heat flame up, to make it beat faster and make her blood rush. But Hiccup was not here and the spark was just strong enough to it impossible for her reclaim her warm heart.

So instead of fighting, Elsa had accepted the fact that she would long for him and that she would always wonder what they could have been. What she hadn't excepted though was how much these questions would haunt her, but then again she was everyday reminded of how much happiness love could bring to two people.

Married life had turned out to fit both Anna and Kristoff extremely well, their love for each other simply growing more and more as time passed. Of course this brought Elsa a lot of happiness, for she wanted nothing more than Anna's happiness, but at the same time it constantly reminded her that she could never have what they shared.

Seeing them together, Elsa was always a little emotionally torn for, while she was genuinely happy for them, she also felt a deep envy towards the couple. She was envious for what they shared and that when she had been given the opportunity to, perhaps, experience the same it had been taken away from her because of the life she had been born into.

Luckily Elsa had Olof and Sharpshot, the little snowman and the little dragon keeping her company when Anna and Kristoff wanted to be alone. They were also masters at bringing a smile to her face, Olof with his simple, naïve and loving look on life and Sharpshot because he simply had turned into her constant companion.

Sure he reminded her of Hiccup, but the memory of how he had given the small dragon to her was a good one and he had given her her most loyal friend. Sharpshot was always with her, he even slept in her bed each night bundled up down by her feet. This had, of course, not been the intention from the beginning, but when the tiny dragon had accepted, very reluctantly, that he was not allowed to set the footmen on fire, Elsa had felt he deserved some kind of reward.

But mostly, she just felt secure having him close. He had taken a strong hold on her heart and she knew he only loved her for who she was, nothing else.

Sharpshot's presence didn't mean it was easy to miss Hiccup though, in fact it was anything but. When she had been alone with him there had been no political battle. He had not felt a need to get into her good graces to climb a social ladder or to gain power in that same world. They had just been two people who had found out they liked spending time with each other because they fitted together, two people who could put their personal relationship to the side when they needed to.

Elsa had always said that should she ever fall in love, it would be with a man who could love her, not her title.

Hiccup already had all the power he wanted, he had seen her as a person, not a Queen, and she had seen him. He had never backed down from an argument, he had accepted her power, challenged her and kept on intriguing her. He had understood her better than anyone else and had made her realize that she was enough, she just needed to accept it herself.

If it had been any man she could have loved, it would have been Hiccup Haddock Horrendous III. A Viking who came from from the high north. A man who was stubborn and unrefined. Her papa would have been horrified, she could just imagine his expression.

But it didn't matter where he came from, he was her equal and she was his, they worked together and he had managed to change her in more ways than one. He had managed to make her start accepting herself. It had been difficult, for she had lived so long separating parts of herself, but finally there was no longer a struggle within.

Along with the acceptance for who she was, her control over her power had changed as well. She no longer need to think about the love of others to make it thaw. Instead she had rediscovered a place within her heat that held a warm acceptance for herself, an immovable inner core that now anchored her power to the knowledge of who she truly was, not who she feared she could be.

It had been a huge revelation for her when she understood that the key to unlocking her control had never been love at all, love was the way to thaw the cold. The key to unlocking her control had been self discovery and understanding that her power would only be what she wanted it to be.

Like almost every day, Elsa was sitting in her study working in peace when Sharpshot suddenly looked up from the comfy chair that he had chosen as his own and that had been moved to stand net to her desk. At his sudden reaction, Elsa looked up from the charts detailing Arendelle's economic situation with a questioning look.

"What is it Sharpy?" She asked, having given Sharpshot his new nickname shortly after the Vikings had left and, each time she said it, she wondered what Hiccup would have said if he had heard it. Probably he would have frowned before muttering something about it being "unvinkinglike" and how everyone would have thought "it was extremely silly".

The sound of something scratching on her window made Elsa turn around, and she felt a rush of excitement as she flew up from her chair to let in the orange terror that was sitting outside with a letter tied to it. The moment she opened the window the little dragon soared inside and landed on her desk, Sharpshot leaving his place to greet the new dragon happily.

While they were busy getting to know each other, Elsa took the opportunity to unfasten the thick paper that was fastened to the orange terror. Holding the letter in her hand, she looked down at the folded paper with a racing heart. Should she even open it? After all the last letter she had received from Berk had been Hiccup telling her that if they kept in contact he would not be able to go back, that his emotions for her would never fade to only friendship.

That letter had caused her to cry, knowing that what he wrote was true for her as well, for it had been back when she had tried to forget him as well.

Therefore, her heart now beat wildly in fear that Hiccup would have written to her to tell her that he no longer felt anything for her. That he had managed to get over his feelings for her and that he wanted them to keep contact as friends.

But what if he, like she so many times herself had considered, instead had written that he hadn't forgotten her? That he, just like her, was tired of fighting. What if he was coming back?

Feeling the excitement and hope mix with fear and dread, Elsa opened the letter with trembling hands. Her heart was beating a mile a minute only to sink in her chest as she stared at the written words. She reread the letter three times, her mind racing more and more each time she read it as she sat down. She had never felt more confused on what decision to make in her entire life. If she listened to her screaming heart the choice was obvious, but it was just as obvious if she listened to her rational side that told her not be an impulsive fool.

She was so lost in her thoughts and her inner turmoil that she didn't even notice how the sun went down outside her window, the sky turning dark, until someone knocked on the door to her study and walked in without waiting for a reply.

Looking up she saw Anna and Kristoff walking inside, both with slightly worried expressions on their faces.

"You didn't come down for dinner." Anna told her, placing an apple and a napkin with a few slices of bread on her desk. Looking down at the food Elsa felt her stomach turn as it had done so often the last few months and while she sent Anna a small smile, she didn't touch the food.

"I have just gotten a message that has given me quite the headache." Elsa replied, giving Anna the letter while Kristoff read it over her sister's shoulder. Just like she had expected a huge excited smile spread over Anna's face, but she had not expected the small frown that appeared on Kristoff's, the expression mystifying her somewhat.

"A wedding invitation to Berk! Elsa what are you even thinking about? You have to go! If you're a little worried about their culture you should know it's a little strange in the beginning but just like our friends, they are very kind once you get to know them! Oh and you'll have to apologize to Snotlout on my behalf, I mean he is getting married so obviously have gotten over the punch but still it was not right and…" Anna spoke very quickly, her own excitement so strong she missed Elsa's neutral face.

"I'm not going." Elsa interrupted her calmly, Anna stopping in the middle of a sentence as she stared at Elsa with huge eyes.

"What?" She asked, staring at her in disbelief while Kristoff just looked at her with a knowing look that made her feel slightly uncomfortable.

"I'm not going." Elsa repeated, ignoring the way the words made the void within grow stronger, telling her that she was making the wrong decision. "I was going to ask if you and Kristoff could go in my place."

"We can't go." Anna replied shortly, Elsa a little confused over her sister's sharp reply, but she didn't want to fight so she accepted it.

"That's okay, it's a long journey. I suppose I could talk to Sir Anckarloo instead, he got to know all of them fairly well during their stay and…"

"No!" Anna said sharply, Elsa once again surprised over her sister's angry expression. "Elsa, why on earth wouldn't you want to go?! This is your chance to do something for yourself for once and I know you want to see Berk. Don't you want to see our friends; don't you miss them?" Anna asked.

"Of course I do, it has nothing to with that." Elsa answered calmly while her heart ached painfully, telling her what she already knew. That she was missing one of them too much and that she would not be able to bear meeting Hiccup only to find out his emotions had changed or that he didn't want her there. After all it wasn't even he who had sent the letter, she would have recognized his messy handwriting.

"Then what is it? Why won't you take this opportunity to go and see them?" Anna asked with a frown. Taking a small breath Elsa clasped her hands together. She had not expected Anna to be so persistent, but at least she had thought it through a little.

"It's because the opportunity is coming at a bad time. There is to much to be done right now before winter comes and when it does, I cannot leave my people behind. I wouldn't be able to relax for a moment when I'm away and…"

"You have no obligations I can't handle in your absence; you know I could handle it." Anna interrupted her again, Elsa feeling how her own irritation started to rise within.

"I know you could, but you have a lot going in with the poorhouse and the orphanage. Besides you know that I only feel comfortable when I can keep an eye on things myself." Elsa replied, fighting hard to keep a harsh edge out of her voice.

"So you are saying that you don't trust me?" Anna stated, her eyes suddenly filled with new anger as Elsa just stared at her. What was wrong with her? How on earth had a simple question if they could go to Berk turned into this? Elsa had not even tried to persuade them to go and Anna had no idea how she much work she had to get through.

"Anna don't be silly…" She began, her irritation seeping through, but Anna only cut her off again as her eyes filled with angry tears.

"No! I'm tired of you NEVER trusting me with ANYTHING! You never allow me to do anything around here! I'm NOT fragile and I'm tired of you shutting me out even though you promised that you wouldn't! Don't you think we haven't noticed that you barely eat or how you keep on locking yourself away in here to be miserable instead of at least trying to be happy with us?!" Anna shouted at her.

"Anna." Kristoff said to her carefully, placing his hand on her shoulder as he saw how Elsa's expression turn more and more pained for every word her sister said, the sadness in her eyes only growing.

But Anna was still overcome by the sudden rage that had flared up so suddenly that she only shrugged him off.

"NO! I'm not done! I'm tired of seeing you pretending that all you care about is ruling this kingdom when I know that's not the case! If you just allowed anyone in and trusted those around you, you wouldn't be stuck here all of the time! So stop telling me lies and tell why you don't WANT to go since we all know that's what this is all about!" Anna shouted, breathing heavily as the burning anger faded as quickly as it had appeared only to leave her feel horrified at her sister's expression.

In front of her, Elsa was staring at her with eyes filled with tears while she had a torn expression on her face. Anna had never seen her look so vulnerable or so at war with herself, and Anna had seen her in her ice palace.

"Elsa I'm…" Anna said in a low voice, cut off by the grim look Elsa her sent through the tears.

"You're what? Sorry?!" She spat, her voice strangely harsh and rushed. "I went against my entire council when I trusted you to go to Berk and I did the same when I allowed you to marry Kristoff! I just offered you to go in my stead and represent me at a wedding that will take place amongst one of our most valued allies and you stand here saying that I don't TRUST you?!" Elsa said, her voice icy cold as she stood straighter in front of them.

"I have wanted nothing more than for you to be as happy as possible, even though that has forced me to watch you gain what I can never have! I have chosen not to open up to you because I haven't wanted to stain your happiness with guilt or make you rush off like you always do! You want to know the real reason I can't go?! It's because I can't see him! I can't see Hiccup when he has changed me and made me long for something I never wanted before I met him. I can't see him when it doesn't matter if he still feels the same." Elsa took a deep breath as she crossed her arms over her chest and when she continued it was in a lower voice, as if she was no longer even talking to them at all.

"I can't go when I know I will fall in love with him. I can't go to find out he might not feel the same way or, if he does, only to part from him again. I will always have to return home, just like he will always have to return to Berk. We are parted by the roles we have been born into, the duties we have and the curse of loving our people." She finished, closing her eyes as a tear fell with a small thud to the floor as a perfect drop of ice.

"Elsa I didn't…" Anna said, tears of her own falling as she reached out to her sister. But Elsa only sent her a dark look before rushing out of the room, the two little dragons flying after her, while Anna was left to stare after her in shock, wondering how she could have been so blind. When had her own happiness blinded her so much that she had forgotten to pay real attention to her sister?

"Anna." At his soft voice she looked up into Kristoff's concerned eyes, her self-loathing growing when she noticed that he didn't seem surprised at all at the news.

"Did you know?" She whispered, Kristoff shrugging awkwardly.

"I wasn't sure, but the signs were there." He told her, Anna knowing he was trying to not make her feel any guiltier. It didn't help much though, for she had never felt more horrible in her entire life, and soon tears were flowing freely down her cheeks as she cursed her hormonal state.

"Why didn't I see it? I'm a terrible sister, I should've just told her why we can't go." Anna said, Kristoff wrapping his arms around her as his comfort only made her cry even more since it reminded her that Elsa was alone. She had to this right, but at the moment all she could do was cry as her emotions again was spiraling out of her control.

If it was one thing that Elsa had found difficult to adapt to was that by accepting her feelings, she wasn't just allowed to feel happiness, she was forced to feel pain as well. Pain that brought tears.

It was not the first time she had cried during the past three months, but usually it had just been a few tears. Now it was like the void inside of her wanted to draw her into its nothingness. She could feel its pull, how it promised her that she would be free of every emotion if she just gave in. But she also knew that all that would be left was emptiness, a dark world without any light.

It was a horrible feeling, one that frightened her and almost caused her to panic, but as she cried she could feel how the tears saved her. With each breath she felt the void in chest, a dark hole where something was missing, but her tears and her sorrow reminded her that what she missed was something good.

It also helped that Sharpshot, along with the new little terror, lay close to her like silent protectors that offered her as much comfort as they could.

She didn't understand what had caused Anna's outburst, it was nothing like her sister, but it didn't mean that her words had been less hurtful. Of course Elsa knew she was not innocent in this, but a part of her couldn't help to despise the fact that Anna had been so happy that she had been unable to see the darkness in Elsa.

However, Anna was right as well. She had shut away herself from sister because she wanted to protect her and she had sought more and more solitude over the last month. But why should she engage in the silly lives that were all the same when she no longer had no interest in them?

"Your majesty." At the soft elderly voice Elsa looked up from where she had buried her head in her pillows only to see Mrs. Tomson standing in the doorway into her room. Seeing the tears that were still flowing down her face, the elderly housekeeper got a compassionate look on her face as she walked into Elsa's room, sitting down next to her on the bed while stroking her over her hair.

It was something she had done to Elsa when she was little girl and had been in need of comfort. At least she had until Elsa had become so afraid to hurt anyone that she had refused all human contact. Now she was no longer afraid and the calming action awoke something in her, something she had not felt for over fifteen. It was the need for a motherly embrace that could keep the harsh reality away.

Giving in to feeling, Elsa sat up and allowed Mrs. Tomson to pull her into her arms, holding her while she continued stroking her hair. At the contact, Elsa's tears only increased as the loss of her parents suddenly crashed over her as well. When her tears finally began to fade away the void in her heat was still there, but it was no longer trying to pull her in. Instead a warm feeling of peace spread through her.

"Sometimes all we need is to cry; it helps us heal." Mrs. Tomson said, not letting go of Elsa who once again felt extremely drained.

"I ain't done much healing Mrs. Tomson." Elsa whispered, the old housekeeper looking down at her with a stern look.

"You must excuse me for speaking so plainly Queen Elsa, but that is just pure nonsense. I've seen you heal a great deal since a certain Chief came here. You've done a great deal of healing and what you suffer from now has nothing to do with your past. What you suffer from my child is a broken heart, nothing else."

At her words Elsa couldn't help to smile a little, not even bothering to ask how the old housekeeper could always know everything that went on in the castle. All she knew was that she was happy to have Mrs. Tomson in her life and that she was tired of having no one to talk to.

"No one is supposed to know about that." Elsa said, drawing back a little as Mrs. Tomson gave her a handkerchief.

"One is not supposed to know anything if you listen to the old men sitting on their high horses." Mrs. Tomson scoffed, causing Elsa to smile once more. "Now what brought on this fight between you and princess Anna?" She asked.

"How did you…" Elsa began, but at Mrs. Tomson pointed look she simply chuckled, knowing it was no point in asking. The housekeeper would never reveal her secrets. "I got an invitation to a wedding on Berk." She answered instead, feeling how the words weighed her down once more.

"And was it this invitation that upset you so?" Mrs. Tomson asked, Elsa knowing that she really wanted to know if it was Hiccup who was getting married.

"Not so much, it's the Chief's cousin who is getting married. It's more the knowledge that I can't go. I don't even know if Chef Haddock wants to see me, it wasn't he who sent the invitation and we decided that we wouldn't allow anything to happen between us. Besides I can't leave Arendelle for so long." Elsa replied, what she hadn't expected was the other woman's scolding expression.

"That must be the most stupid reasoning I've ever heard, and I've heard a lot during my years! Now I've never said that I am a woman who knows everything, but first of all you need to hear that you really are sheltering Princess Anna far too much. She is not someone you need to protect anymore; in fact, it would be healthy for her to learn a bit more about the real world." Mrs. Tomson said with a stern voice.

"Anna actually said something similar." Elsa replied.

"Well then she at least managed to make some sense through all that useless yelling." Mrs. Tomson muttered before continuing. "As when it comes to this invitation of yours, don't you think that Chief Haddock would've stopped his cousin from inviting you if he wished for your absence?" She said with a pointed look.

At her words Elsa suddenly felt extremely stupid and silly. Of course Hiccup's cousin had been forced to ask for permission to invite her, not even Vikings could simply invite whoever they liked to a wedding, not even if that person was a royal.

Taking her silence as sign of her agreement, a slightly pleased smile spread over Mrs. Tomson's face.

"I didn't think so." She continued. "Now about all this nonsense I heard about you two being from different worlds, I'll tell you that you two are not the first people to fall in love with a person who you try to convince yourself is impossible to be with."

"I don't love him, Mrs. Tomson." Elsa interrupted hastily, a blush spreading over her cheeks.

"You keep on telling yourself that dear." Mrs. Tomson said with a knowing smile and glittering eyes, giving Elsa no chance to reply before continuing. "But if you don't, why do you fear seeing him again?"

"Because if I would fall in love with him I would want to be with him, but I cannot give up my thrown and he cannot give up his role on Berk. Neither one of us wants to lose that and we have our duties." Elsa said, feeling how solid the argument was to her, at least until Mrs. Tomson chuckled slightly.

"Then neither one of you does." She said with glittering eyes.

"What?" Elsa replied, wondering what the older woman was implying.

"Why should either one of you have to give up what you already have? Like I said before, Princess Anna is more than capable to taking care of Arendelle while you are away and Chief Haddock obviously have people he trusts on Berk. Why would either one of you have to renounce your titles? Why can't you rule two kingdoms together?"

"But it… it just isn't done." Elsa said, not even daring to think that there could be a solution that was so simple. They couldn't rule two different kingdoms, could they?

"Isn't done!" The old housekeeper scoffed. "If everything was to be done as it was before then your cousin wouldn't have married a thief and your sister wouldn't have married a man selling ice. You on the other hand would've been married with a third child on the way while your husband was sitting on the throne. If we never went against the norms in society our lives would never change and if any couple could rule two kingdoms I think it would be you and Chief Haddock. After all, I saw no problem for either of you to put your personal feelings aside when he was here."

"Were you spying on us?" Elsa asked, feeling a little amused when she saw Mrs. Tomson's slightly sheepish look.

"You have no mother to look after you, your majesty. I was just keeping an eye out for her." She replied, Elsa smiling at her as new thoughts began to spin in her head.

Could there be a way? Could they live a life where they could rule two different kingdoms together? It seemed impossible, insane even, but at the same time why wouldn't they be able to do it?

At the thought the void in Elsa's heart suddenly filled with a feeling she hadn't felt in a long time; hope.

"Your majesty." At her soft voice Elsa turned to Mrs. Tomson again. "I've been with you since you were a child. You deserve happiness my dear and even if you find out that the Chief is not the right man for you, at least you'll no longer have to wonder. Your heart will never let you rest if you don't go. Living as you do now you'll learn to get by, but nothing else. If you feel that you can love him, you have to fight for it, at least so you can know that you tried."

Looking into her sad eyes, Elsa felt her heart go out to the old woman sitting next to her. Elsa didn't even need to ask how Mrs. Tomson knew how she felt, for the answer was right there in her eyes. Embracing her old housekeeper, Elsa felt how her tears started to fall once again while a few warm ones soaked through the back of her dress. She was never going to ask Mrs. Tomson who she had lost, if she had wanted to tell Elsa she would've done so.

But what Elsa realized was that she still had the chance of love and at this realization, the words Grandpabi had once spoken, that the mind could be persuaded while the heart never forgot, suddenly got a new much deeper meaning to her than before.

"Thank you, Mrs. Tomson." Elsa whispered to her when they both drew back, no trace at all on the old housekeepers face that any tears had fallen.

"Never think of it dearest. Now I have to go back to work, I swear that the housemaids are still walking on clouds since of a certain young man we've just spoken about was here. I have to constantly remind them that their chores won't be done on their own! Perhaps I shouldn't have tried to change your mind now when I think about, for if this means the Chief will start to visit here regularly I wouldn't be surprised if they start following him around again and if they do, you should know that I'll be demanding a raise!" She said and, just like that, everything was back to normal again.

Before walking away, Mrs. Tomson sent her one last warm smile, but right before she closed the door though Anna appeared in it instead, her eyes full of tears as she rushed over to Elsa and gave her a huge hug.

"Elsa I'm so sorry, I didn't mean what I said!" She said, Elsa returning her hug.

"It's okay, you were right after all about some thing."

"I was?" Anna replied in disbelief.

"You were, even though I think you overreacted I have shut you out when I promised you I wouldn't. So I'm sorry too." Elsa said, a short silence falling between them.

"Sooo does this mean you're going?" Anna asked with glittering eyes as Elsa felt a strange peace settle over her as she made her decision. She knew what she had to do and that was to try. Mrs. Tomson was right; she would never be happy otherwise.

"I am." Elsa therefore answered, laughing as Anna squealed loudly and threw her arms around her again.

"Thank God! Now you have to tell me everything! I knew you two would find each other, I just knew it! But first I have to tell you something else, it is kind of reason for why I didn't want to leave and why I just blew up before."

At the excited look in Anna's eyes and the way her hands rested on her stomach, Elsa drew in a breath.

"You're not…?" Elsa asked while Anna nodded her head fiercely, a huge smile spreading over her face.

"I am! You are going to be an aunt!" Anna squealed as the two sisters embraced fiercely again, their laughter and excited chatter spreading out into the hallway as all hurt feelings were forgiven and the darkness was chased away. Walking away with a smile of her own, Mrs. Tomson felt her heart fill with love for the two women she had come to love as her own, excited at the prospect that the sound of little feet would soon fill the castle once more.

So that was one long chap! Tell me what you thought about it, what will happen now when things are about to happen? We have a determined Elsa, but what is Hiccup thinking about all of this? Does he even know? And Anna is pregnant! Baby-Happiness-Overload!

Take care and live life to the fullest, don't forget that there is always light to find in each other!
Until next time my dear readers!
/Lysistrate