The moment has come! Gahh I'm excited for this! I will not hold you up here, read and we'll see each other at the end! ;) But, it can be good to read my answer to Guest's review who asked a very good question; What does Elsa know about Stoick?
Noctus Fury: I'm so happy you liked their talk, they really needed to clear the air and I know it was good for both of them to get closure! Just like you, I normally ship Hiccstrid, I love them together, but that's what makes it even more fun to develop the characters as an author and slightly change them so things becomes different! :D And I must admit, Hiccelsa is starting to beat Hiccstrid very much in my book haha!
I'm very impressed by all you know! It's so fun to talk with someone who has such a huge interest! Just out of curiosity, do you just read for fun or do you study history as well?
Haha it is Fluffy, a third snowman is running around, call the snow-police haha!
Laidyx: I'm glad you liked how they sovled it all between them and Astrid will indeed be happier now. Hahaha ohh what a vision! I think Tuff would be left buried in a pile of snow, or maybe Hiccup would do something to him? There is one day left of the wedding so anything can still happen ;)
Yes do Hiccup have to fear rejection or not? Now you'll finally get the answer!
Newboy: Yes the truth is coming out, Elsa's reaction is what is on the line and indeed that will probably be shock! A ruthless man who can control dragons, I think one would think twice again suddenly.
Guest: Is Drago dead or not? I wish I could tell you, but you'll have to wait just a teeny, tiny bit longer! As for Elsa knowing how Stocik was as a person she has some knowledge. Hiccup has told her about how he was an outcast and that not only the tribe but his father looked down at him. She knows about their rocky relationship, that they improved it as Hiccup got more and more accepted and that he is dead, she just don't know when or how he died. Nor does she know anything that happened through all of HTTYD2, only tiny bits and pieces. The big secret has always been the events surrounding Stoick's death and now, we'll finally know how Hiccup feels about it.
20.
"Stop mocking me!" Elsa laughed.
"I'm not, I'm just saying that I missed the flower and the body-less little man. With those present it would've been the most horrifying thing I'd ever seen." Hiccup smirked at her, laughing when she lightly hit him on the arm.
"Fluffy isn't supposed to be scary, he is supposed to be sweet and loving! I only conjured him because I was tired of hearing Tuffnut complain." She replied.
"Tuffnut is terrified of sweet, I don't even think he has ever encountered it before. Never even thought I would put Tuff and "sweet" in the same sentence actually." Hiccup grinned at her.
"If you don't stop I will walk straight back to the Village and offer to be Tuffnut's partner myself." She threatened and even though he knew it was a joke, Hiccup still frowned at the mere thought.
"Fine, I'll behave! But I still think you should have given Fluffy a flower." He replied, avoiding the blast of snow she threw at him with a laugh. Ignoring her glare, he then put his arm around her, making sure she was covered by his coat as well.
At his action Elsa rolled her eyes, for despite her thin dress she wasn't bothered by the cold, but she still allowed him to care for her as they kept on walking through the forest in silence.
The winter landscape around them was silent, their steps and a woodpecker in the distance the only sounds heard in the forest. Winter was always special, for the season caused the world to fall asleep. The sounds were always fewer while there was a feeling of waiting in the air.
Above them, the sky was already turning dark even though the sun had only been up for a few hours. It was still shining red through the trees, making the snow glitter and turn orange. Soon the sun wouldn't rise at all, it never did when winter reached its peak. For more than a month, the moon and the night ruled over Berk. For more than a month, the sun never rose, not until time turned and the sun was allowed to slowly reclaim its place in the sky.
They were opposites, the sun and the moon. While the moon ruled over the winter, turning it into a glittering display of tiny crystals, lighting up the snow with its cold light, the sun ruled over summer. The world that was asleep during winter awoke again in the spring, the cycle reaching its other peak during midsummer when the sun never left the sky instead, creating endless days without nights.
In the end, it was an eternal cycle. One in perfect balance of two equally strong forces. Now ruled winter and when the pale full moon finally had claimed the whole sky, Hiccup couldn't help to notice how well Elsa fitted into the landscape.
The part of her that wasn't covered by his dark coat lit up by light just as well as the snow around them. She was a glowing peak next to him, a great contrast to his warmth. In this world, he was the one who had to adapt, he didn't naturally fit in. Just like she had adapted and waited for the cooler nights when they had been in Arendelle this year during the summer.
"You talked to Astrid." Elsa suddenly stated calmly, Hiccup realizing he had been lost staring at her for some time.
"I did." He replied while clearing his throat, a little embarrassed she had caught him staring. "She already knew." He added, Elsa only nodding her head. After all, they had both already been very aware that Astrid wasn't in the dark.
"How did she take it?" She asked, looking at him with hesitant and wondering eyes as they walked out of the forest and began walking up a hill. It was a place she had never been to before and Hiccup hadn't told her where they were going, he had only said he wanted to talk to her.
"Better than I expected. She understood and she was sorry." He simply replied, for even though could tell Elsa anything, he still felt that the conversation between him and Astrid belonged to them. Elsa didn't need to know that Astrid, to some point, still loved him. It didn't matter. Astrid had given her permission and Hiccup had already made his choice.
He had made it even before he met Elsa really, for even then had he known deep down that he and Astrid wasn't getting back together.
If Elsa had asked however, he would have told her everything, but she didn't. Instead she just smiled warmly at him as they stopped at the top of the hill and relax against his side as she looked down at Berk below them. Her trusting him so completely, especially when he knew how difficult it was for her to trust anyone, made him realize once again how much he loved the woman standing next to him.
"This is a very beautiful place." Elsa said, looking towards the horizon while the wind played with the few strands of hair that had escaped her braid. Berk lay below them, the ocean ahead and his father's statue could be seen in it's full glory behind Berk, lit up by the moon.
It was the reason he had brought her here, to tell her about his dad. He had known for quite some time that he had to, he wanted to, but he didn't know where to begin. He didn't want there to be any secrets between them, but how did you share your darkest secret with the one who meant the most to you?
For he was afraid, he was afraid that when he told her he would lose her, and it was that fear that held him back. She was so beautiful, so pure, with hair like silver and her pale skin a little rosy from the cold. She was smiling and she looked so peaceful, so content, that he didn't want to ruin the moment.
What if she couldn't understand his guilt? Or what if she turned away from him? What if she called him a killer or pitted him? What if she feared him? Or found him to be a fool just like Astrid?
So instead of telling her, he stayed silent while he kept telling himself that he just needed another second to gather his courage. He needed just another moment to remember her if she was to disappear from his life forever.
"Who is he? The man who watches over you all? I have been curios ever since I got here but I have forgotten to ask. Is he one of your Gods?" Elsa suddenly broke the silence, Hiccup realizing she hadn't been staring at the horizon at all but at his dad's statue.
When he didn't answer her, she looked up at him with a questioning expression that turned slightly concerned when she was that he was looking at her with a torn expression.
He was so terrified of telling her, but there was no going back, not anymore. He had to tell her, she had even unknowingly given him the opening he hadn't known how to find on his own. The universe was screaming at him and he knew he could no longer hide.
"It's my dad, Stoick the Vast." Hiccup began, Elsa's eyes turning softer as she looked at his father's statue once more. Hiccup had only called him dad or Stoick before, but she didn't think much about the change.
"A great name." She answered, knowing that Vikings titles were earned and never given if not deserved. Seeing the man who had been Hiccup's father, she couldn't help to think how extremely different they were. There were no similarities at all, but then again Hiccup had told her they had been so very different and how he had always wished to be like his father.
"He was a great man." Hiccup replied quietly, a small silence between them before he spoke again. "He wanted me to become Chief even before he passed."
"That is a huge honor." Elsa replied carefully, seeing the pained and broken expression in Hiccup's eyes as he refused to meet her eyes, instead he was staring at his father, his eyes fixed on the statue. This was something he had never shared with her before. He had told her so much about his dad and their strained relationship, but he had never told her this.
Seeing his expression though, she knew that whatever was to come it was what Hiccup had been hiding for her all this time. She could see how hard it was for him to talk about it and she knew that before, he had always pulled back.
"It was a great honor. He…" Hiccup drew in a deep breath, letting go off her as he turned away from her and from his father's watching eyes. Seeing his tense shoulders, Elsa felt her heart beat a little faster, wondering what could have possibly happened to put him in this state.
"Hiccup?" She said hesitantly when he didn't turn back to her. Feeling the pain that seemed to emit from him, Elsa suddenly knew he wasn't going to tell her on his own. He would need someone who asked.
So instead of simply telling him to tell her in his own time, like he had done to her that night by the pond, Elsa walked around so she was standing in front of him. He was staring down at the ground, his eyes closed, so she put her hand on his cheek so she could turn his head up. At her touch his eyes opened and at the intense guilt, pain and sorrow she could see in them she felt how her own heart ached at the mere sight.
But this was the moment when she needed to be strong, just like had been for her. He had picked her up at her lowest point, he had brought her back and he had helped her move on. If she could help him in the same way, even if it was just a little, she would.
She always would.
"What happened?" She asked him, pushing away her own conflicting emotions as he looked away from her again to look at his father. All she allowed to remain within was her love for the man before her and her knowledge that she had to keep an open mind. She needed to listen, she needed to hear it all.
"Hiccup?" Hearing his name, his eyes found hers again and she could see the battle, the torn look on his face. Then he suddenly reached out and stroked her cheek. His green eyes were taking in her every feature, every line, like he was trying to memorize her. There was fear in them, so much feat, that it was he almost didn't think she was really there.
Like he was thought he would lose her.
"Hiccup, what happened?" She asked softly once again, and she finally saw how the wall fell. How he looked both terrified and defeated as his hand fell from her cheek.
"I killed him."
He was an idiot; he knew he was a total idiot! How could he have just thrown out those three words without any warning or explanation?! When he finally had been able to speak though they had just slipped out, and there was nothing he could do to take them back.
Thankfully, Elsa didn't react the way he thought she would. In fact she didn't react much at all. She didn't draw back from him, nor did she scream or stare at him with fear. She didn't look at him with pity or fake compassion, she just looked at him searchingly. It was almost as if she was trying to figure out if she should believe him or not.
In the end though, her eyes remained soft but turned otherwise unreadable before she told him to make a fire so they could talk. Unable to see how she was truly reacting to his words, but thankful she seemed ready to listen despite his stupid move, Hiccup started a fire while Elsa cleared the ground off snow. The silence was heavy between them until they sat down and Elsa turned to him again.
"Tell me." She simply stated and no matter how hard he tried, he could see no judgment in her eyes. In a way it calmed him. He had wanted someone to just listen to him for so long, but at the same time he knew she couldn't be was calm on the inside as she was on the outside.
It scared him, not knowing what she was thinking, but he also knew she was not going to interrupt him. Unlike his mother, Astrid and Gobber, she was not immediately going to try and change his mind. She was going to listen to him unlike what everyone else had done in the past.
For that had been what caused the rift between him, his mom, Astrid and Gobber in the first place. They had tried so hard to convince him that it wasn't his fault that they, no matter how hard he had tried to explain, had never listened to him. They had always tried to make him see their truth, while they refused to listen to what he already knew.
They had never understood that he knew he was fully responsible.
In the end, about three months after his dad's passing, Hiccup had finally exploded. It had been the same day he had broken with Astrid and after a huge fight with all the three of them, Hiccup had taken Toothless and left Berk. For three weeks he had been gone, alone to grieve and put up the defenses he had relied on ever since.
When he came back the three of them had finally left him alone, but things had changed. An invisible line had appeared between them, a line that meant Hiccup ignored their concerned looks while they never commented on how he, at times, disappeared. How he would only exist as he tired to cope with his guilt.
But it wasn't his mother, Astrid or Gobber sitting next to him now. It was Elsa and he knew she would listen. He knew, despite her affection for him, that she would judge him fairly for that was who she was.
With this knowledge, Hiccup took a deep breath as he stared into the flames. That way he wouldn't have to see any of her reactions on her face if there were any.
"It all began with dad telling me he wanted me to take over." He began and after those first few words, they suddenly seemed to flow out of him. There was no stopping them and the more he spoke, the easier it became to tell her.
He told her about how he had not felt ready to become Chief, how the idea of being tied down to Berk when he wanted to explore the world had made him feel trapped. He told her about how he and Toothless had flown far beyond the lands they had explored before and how they met Eret. He told her about their first encounter and how they had found out about Drago.
He told her that when his dad had been informed, he had ordered a lockdown of the Village and that Hiccup hadn't agreed with him. That he had left anyway, determined to try and talk to Drago before a possible war came to them.
"My dad and Gobber followed us. Dad wanted to take us back to Berk, he would've forced me if he could, but I refused to listen to him. Dad was always extremely stubborn, one of a few treats of his I've inherited, and I became frustrated. He wanted me to become Chief, but he wasn't willing to listen to me. So instead of following him home I flew away once again." Hiccup paused for a moment, staring into the flames. "I should have listened to him." He added quietly, thinking how different things would have been if he had.
"You made a choice." Hearing Elsa's voice he realized he had been lost in his thoughts. It was the first time she had spoken at all and, when he turned to her, her eyes were unyielding. He couldn't look away. "A leader shall always protect his people, you thought there was a solution that didn't involve a war. You acted like a Chief, just like your father. As Queen of Arendelle I can say that I also would have tried to talk with this man first as well instead of just waiting for him to arrive."
He could see she meant every word she said and hearing that Elsa also would've tried to talk with Drago was strangely comforting. His own people didn't fear war, sure they didn't want it, but for them it wasn't a last resort. There was glory to be won and a warrior in death allowed into Valhalla.
Elsa however came from a different world, a world where politics had become the first battlefield and where war had become more of a last resort. She could understand his hatred for fighting, that even if glory greeted you after death, living was always better option.
Knowing she understood his reasoning, Hiccup continued to tell her how he had found his mother, or more how she had found him. He told her about the dragon sanctuary, smiling despite his heavy feelings at her awed expression, and that his dad had decided to follow him. He told her that despite being apart for to decades, his parents had still loved each other and how they had all hoped that they could become a family again.
When he came to the part of Drago's attack Hiccup saw moments of the battle flash before his eyes, the chaos that had been surrounding them, the blasts and the screams from both dragons and humans. As he spoke, he felt the anger awaken inside and when he told her about how the black Bewilderbeast had taken control over Toothless, he barely even noticed he had clenched his hands into fists.
"Even after having seen how Drago controlled the Bewilderbeast, even though I saw he wanted nothing more than to destroy us, I still tried to talk to him. I gave him the opportunity to take control over Toothless and I wasn't fast enough to break through to him once he was controlled by the black Alpha. My dad took the blast that was meant for me, he threw himself between me and Toothless." Hiccup said, his voice strained as he tried to hold back the tears.
"If I had just listened, if I hadn't been so stubborn he would still be alive! If I hadn't run away or just realized Drago was as bad as dad told me he would still be alive." He whispered angrily, feeling the guilt and pain rip through his defenses inside. They became like a dark hole, sucking him down into a place that felt empty, but only held his darkest feelings. He hadn't realized it had grown so strong over the years.
Looking over at Elsa, he saw that she was just looking back at him with an unreadable expression. Her eyes were calm, glowing in the moonlight, and even though they showed nothing at all, he still felt how her unwavering look pushed him into a corner. It was like she was waiting for something and suddenly he wanted her to say something! Anything! He wanted her to react!
Feeling his distress rise within, there was nothing left that could hold back the anger, guilt and hate the felt towards himself. They were rising to the surface as a result of him being fully exposed to her and he couldn't stop them as they filled him up.
"Don't you see?! I killed him!" He screamed at her, lashing out as the guilt and grief became too much to bear, and he rose from the ground as he started to pace in front of her. "That blast was meant for me; it wasn't meant for him! I led him to that moment because I didn't listen! I forced him to come after me since I didn't return to Berk! He had met Drago, he knew what kind of man he was and I didn't believe him! I was so certain I could change everyone that I refused to see the truth! I led him to his death because I was naïve and stupid!" He screamed to the sky, to her, to anyone listening.
But mostly he was screaming at himself. He was letting out the anger that had poisoned him for so long, the anger he had felt towards himself and towards the world. It wasn't fair, it hadn't been his dad's time to go. But as the anger started to wash away, it left room for the grief and the guilt instead. He felt it swallow him up from the inside, weighing him down until it became too heavy for him even to stand. The darkness was eating him up, nothing could stop it. He had let it out and now it was consuming him since he couldn't hide from the truth.
The truth that his dad would be alive if it wasn't for him and his choices. Every choice he had made had led his dad to his death. He knew it had. Had he not left, his dad never would've been forced to follow, or if he had just gone back to Berk, they both would've returned.
"I killed him. I led him there… I… I… killed my dad." He whispered, ready to give in to that dark hole in his heart that held all the hate he felt for himself! He had torn his family apart when it had finally gotten back together! He had torn his parents apart! He was the cause his mother had lost her husband; she had lost him because her son had been so naïve.
And he hated himself for having been so young, for not listening. Had he just listened things would have been different.
He knew it would have been, he knew….
Then there was suddenly something in the dark, a feeling that wasn't filled with poison, but cold. It was a clod that seeped through him, sending tingles through his skin and into his heart. It awakened a light that broke through the darkness as the strange feeling grew stronger. It was love, love and a memory of happier emotions. Lighter emotions.
And it was all coming from a cold hand on his shoulder.
Like seeing through a dark haze, Hiccup looked up at the cold presence next to him. Ice-blue eyes were staring into his, eyes full of tears.
No they weren't just full of tears, the tears were falling down like drops of ice from a face that glowed like the moon. It was the light in the night sitting next to him and she wasn't supposed to cry. He didn't want her to. But it wasn't he who dried her tears, instead another cold hand brushed over his face and he realized she was drying his tears, that he was crying as well.
"Oh Hiccup." Elsa whispered to him, her eyes pained when she looked at him. But there was something else in them as well. Guilt.
Suddenly terrified, Hiccup drew back from her as his heart ached painfully for a different reason. It felt like knives through his heart and he couldn't look at her when she said it, he couldn't hear it.
"Don't tell me you're leaving. Don't tell me, just go. I can't hear you say it." He whispered, astonished when he felt a cold hand that forced him back, that forced him to look at her.
"I'm not leaving." She said firmly, her eyes still full of tears but at least they weren't falling anymore and they were full of determination. There was no room for arguments, she meant it.
"Then you're going to tell me it wasn't my fault, but it was. I know it was. I cannot hear another say it wasn't, I know what choices I made and I know what they did." He told her and, to his surprise, she smiled sadly at him as the guilt and pain reappeared.
"How could I ever tell you that when I am a killer myself? When I am just as guilty as you for making choices that led to a loved one's death?" She whispered, Hiccup so shocked he forgot about the darkness that still wanted to drag him down. Time seemed stop as his brain tried to comprehend what she had just said, his sole focus shifting to the woman in front of him.
"What… y-y-ou don't… when… you…" He stammered, unable to form a full sentence as he tried to see if she was laying. But there was nothing hidden in her eyes, they were open and honest. There were no walls left between them, there was nothing left between them at all.
It was only them, without any walls or secrets.
"I killed Anna." Elsa told him quietly, the guilt in her eyes growing stronger.
"Anna is alive. I know she is, she is alive!" Hiccup answered in disbelief. He knew Anna was alive, he had met her. She was more alive than most even.
"She is, but there was a time when she wasn't. I never told you how the long winter I accidently created ended." Elsa replied, as his racing mind realized she was right. She had never explained it, she had just told him Hans tried to killed her and that the winter had ended, that was all.
"When Anna found me up in the mountains, she wanted me to come back with her." Elsa told him quietly. "She was convinced we could figure it all out together, that I could end the winter. But I couldn't and I realized I couldn't control my power. It made me terrified, I wanted her to leave but she refused. It made me panic, I was so scared of hurting her and horrified at the prospect of returning to my old life that my power lashed out. It attacked the one person who was causing me all of my distress, the one who reminded me of who I was and who, unknowingly, wanted me to suppress myself."
Now it was Elsa's turn to look away, but she looked down at their hands she had joined together and was resting in her lap. Through his connection with her, and their mutual pain, Hiccup felt how she anchored him. Somehow the darkest parts of themselves connected them, kept him grounded.
"It attacked Anna." He filled in, Elsa nodding her head as she looked up at him again.
"You have seen me once, what my power can do. It's beautiful when used right but when used wrong… I froze Anna's heart. It's an extremely painful and slow death where a person's heart turns to ice." Elsa whispered.
"How did you save her?" Hiccup asked, wondering how the princess could've possibly survived.
"Love thaws. An act of true love thaws a frozen heart." Elsa said quietly as powerful warm emotions that suddenly surfaced as she looked at him. Her gaze made his heart beat faster despite the heavy feelings weighing him down. Looking into her eyes it was so clear that she wasn't only referring to Anna's frozen heart, but her own as well and that it was no longer frozen.
It was no longer frozen because of him. The knowledge stunned him for a moment, but Elsa only continued.
"Anna thought a true loves kiss would save her so she returned to Arendelle to find Hans. She thought they loved each other, but he betrayed her and locked her inside the castle. When he found me in the storm, he told me she was dead. I was paralyzed with grief, fear and guilt. I hated myself, saw myself as a monster. But she was alive, Anna had escaped and she was searching for Kristoff. He was within her reach and she could have chosen him. She could have saved herself, but she didn't. Instead she threw herself between me and Hans, his sword shattering as she turned to ice."
Here new tears started to fall from Elsa's eyes, still falling as drops of ice.
"She was gone, a statue of ice frozen in time and in the very moment she had sacrificed herself for me. But she survived, her sacrifice was an act of true love and it saved her. It thawed her heart and she lived, but I still hated and blamed myself for so long. She survived thanks to a twist of fate, but for a moment she was dead. I froze her heart. Because of my lack of control, my choices to run, I sentenced my own baby sister, the last of my family, to death. Even though I know I couldn't have done it differently, I still think of what could've happened and, when I do, I still hate myself." Elsa whispered.
Seeing her broken expression, Hiccup felt how his own pain became secondary to hers. He loved her and she needed him, he couldn't bare to see her hurt. She meant more to him than himself and he felt the darkness die away a little more. He had something he needed to do, someone who needed him.
He had something he couldn't give up on.
"But she didn't die." He told her, drawing her in for a hug which she fully returned as she clung to him. What he didn't notice was that he held onto her just as fiercely. "It was an accident and it wasn't your fault. Anna had a choice, she made choices too and nothing you did could've changed them. She chose to save you. It's not your fault." He told her, feeling how much he needed to convince her.
He couldn't allow her to carry that guilt, not when it came from a delusion that wasn't the truth.
To his surprise though, Elsa drew back and smiled up at him sadly through her tears while her eyes shone at him with unerstanding and warmth. He also noticed they were no longer falling as ice, as if the warmth in her gaze kept them as normal tears.
"You wish to free me from my guilt and yet you are unable to free yourself. We have committed the same crime, the crime of being unable to control the events and choices of those around us. How can you not call me a killer when you say that you are?" She asked him, her piercing eyes making him panic for a second.
He opened his mouth to contradict her, to bite her off and tell her it wasn't the same, but no words came out. Instead he felt his breath leave him and he became empty inside. He was left staring into her piercing eyes that forced his mind to open to the possibility that she might be right.
But she couldn't be, could she? No she couldn't, it wasn't the same, it…
Taking his face in her hands, he knew she could see that she had his full attention, for she smiled at him. Her eyes smiled at him, they saw right through him for they understood. They knew everything and still they were full of conviction, for she had already been here. She had made it to the other side.
In that moment, he had never felt more vulnerable in his entire life.
"I made the choice to leave." Elsa told him firmly. "Anna made the choice to come after me and not to me listen when I told her to go. She made the choice to stay, just like she made the choice to save me. Your father didn't have to come after you when you ran off. He shouldn't have. He was the Chief, he should've stayed on Berk and protected the tribe. But he didn't, he chose to come after you not only once, but twice. Just like Anna chose to come after me. It was his choice, just like it was his choice to throw himself in front of you to save you, just like Anna saved me. His love for you made him choose the one option where he knew you would survive, just like Anna."
Listening to her, Hiccup felt how he drew in every word she said. It was like he was drowning and her voice, her conviction and her words were the only thing that could save him. And for each word she spoke, he felt how the darkness faded away more and more, how the small thought that she might be right grew stronger and stronger.
For he wanted to believe her, he wanted her to be right. Could she be right? Anna had acted on her own, but he had still run away… But Elsa had run away as well.
"You didn't force your father to follow you Hiccup, he could've returned to Berk. He should've done it; he was the Chief. He went after you because he loved you. He saved you because he loved you and nothing you did could have changed that, you couldn't stop him, just like I couldn't stop Anna. You made choices, I made choices, but so did they. They made choices we could never control, for they made them out of their free will." Elsa told him, Hiccup feeling how his mind raced.
Elsa had run away; he had run away. Anna had followed her sister; she had had more reasons to follow than just love since the world had been covered in snow. She could have followed her only to save the kingdom.
But his dad… his dad had had no other reason to follow except for the fact that he was worried about him. Elsa was right. He should've returned to Berk; he knew Hiccup could manage on his own. Still his dad had followed since he was worried about him, he had followed because he loved him and wanted him to be safe.
Hiccup had told him to go back to Berk, he had shown so clearly he wanted to be left alone. Still his dad had followed him. He had gone against Hiccup's wishes.
He had chosen to follow.
He had chosen…
"Are we killers?"
At her whispered words, Hiccup saw in her eyes that Elsa would never allow him to just free her and not himself. She would never allow him to only blame himself. She was giving him the right to judge her as well. If he deemed himself a killer, he would doom her to the same fate. It didn't matter she had come to realize that she couldn't have done anything differently, he would take that progress away from her and blame her for what had happened.
He would put that burden back on her shoulders permanently and that was something he could never do. Not when he knew it hadn't been her fault. Not when he knew she couldn't control her powers back then and that she never could've affected Anna's choice.
Not when he loved her and wanted her to be happy.
Not when he hadn't been able to affect his dad's choice either, for no matter how hard it was to accept that there was nothing he could have done, he no longer could deny it. He couldn't have done more than he had done.
At the realization he felt empty for a moment before he heard a sound, a sound of sobbing, and he felt cold arms wrap around him. Holding onto her fiercely, Elsa cried silently with him as they held each other together.
It hadn't been her fault just like it hadn't been his.
Hiccup had made choices, but so had his father. He had chosen to save him. They had both made choices, but it wasn't his fault.
It wasn't his fault.
The relief that flooded through him finally lifted the guilt from his shoulders and, for the first time since his dad's death, Hiccup felt free to fully grieve him. As the loss washed over him, new tears fell, but Elsa was there and they held each other together. Despite being so broken, they somehow made each other whole. They both carried darkness, but somehow they had overcome parts of it that helped them heal each other.
Despite all odds, they belonged together for they understood what that darkness felt like.
They knew how it was to stand on the outside.
"We're not killers." Hiccup finally whispered to her when their tears finally were gone and he just held her in his arms, her head resting against his chest.
She was his light, his moon that lit up the black night within.
At his words she drew back a little and smiled up at him with such love he felt how that one smile changed him. It bound him to her in a new way, for it said the words she didn't say. It pierced through all his dark feelings as the frost in his heart sparked to life and filled it with warmth.
He loved her, there was no doubt anymore and it hadn't been for a long time. He loved her more than he had ever loved anyone and he would never be whole without her. He needed her, just like she needed him.
And finally, there was nothing between them anymore. No secrets or barriers, nothing to hide. They had shared everything and they still wanted to stay with each other, there was nothing stopping them anymore. They were free to take the step they should have taken so long ago.
Placing his hand over her cheek he leaned down and, without any hesitation, he kissed her. The moment their lips touched, the world around him fell away as his heart started beating wildly. Her lips burned him and each sting rushed through him like lightning, igniting him as it chased away even the darkest parts of himself until there was nothing left but her light.
It was clear that Elsa at first didn't really know what to do, but when he carefully moved his lips over hers she relaxed and he pulled her closer when she finally, hesitantly, allowed her instincts to take control and responded to the kiss. Her hands were placed over his beating heart and feeling the cold, Hiccup had never felt more alive.
Nothing existed but the woman in his arms who had taken over everything, who had caught him off guard and turned out to be what he had been searching for. She was the home he had sought and that had made him so restless. He had never fitted in anywhere, until he had found another who had always felt the same.
He knew this wasn't the end of the dark emotions inside, he knew they would come back and he would always, to some part, blame himself. But he was on the right path and he now had a light to guide him.
Drawing back, it felt like his heart was expanding in his chest as he looked down at her blushing face and glowing eyes.
"I love you." He told her, not caring about the consequences. No matter what came in the future, he would fight for her. He would never let her go if she didn't want him to and if she did, he would die from another kind of frozen heart.
At his words, Elsa laughed as she gave him a quick kiss on the lips before pulling him in for a new hug. He loved feeling her so close and he buried his nose in her hair to breath in her scent of cold, snow and mint, his emotions still raging within.
"I love you too." She told him, her voice a little muffled against his chest. Hearing her say it, he had never felt happier to hear four words in his entire life. Holding each other close they both felt such relief at knowing they had someone they trusted, someone who didn't just love parts of them.
They had someone who loved all of them.
They love each other and they kissed! Yay! Finally! Hahaha it was about time!
Now a little bit of repeating backstory in this chapter, but it is important to understand how all choices we make can affect us this much. For can a person really question themselves like this and their choices? Trust me they can, I know. It's human to wonder, just like it's human to blame ourselves for things out of our control. Sometimes it's even easier than dealing with the grief itself.
Now there are still some unanswered questions, so what will happen next? But most importantly, what will happen next?! Not many chapters left to go!
Have a lovely day! Until next time my dear readers!
/Lysistrate