A/N: Thanks for the great response! Things will start clearing up soon.
I don't own or make money from The Big Bang Theory
Chapter 5
Sheldon had just begun his climb on the stairs when she entered the apartment building "Hey, Sheldon!" Cera called, hoping to get his attention.
Sheldon turned slightly and gave her a dismissive "Oh, it's just you."
"Yeah, it's just me. Can you wait up?" Cera said rushing up to catch him before he reached the second flight.
"I'm certain I can, as to whether or not I want to, is another matter entirely." replied Sheldon without slowing down.
"Ok, well, will you please do me the honor of proceeding at a slower pace so I may catch and hold a discussion with you?" Cera said pretentiously, all traces of her drawl disappearing.
Upon hearing Cera speak, Sheldon came to a standstill. He felt prickles across his scalp. Something in that request felt familiar. There was a tone in that simple statement that rubbed up against his memory and he was furiously trying to place it. Sheldon had turned to face Cera as he considered her familiarity, but his thoughts were brought up short. The words Vulcan on the Streets; Klingon in the Sheets jolted his thoughts.
"What are you wearing?" Sheldon exclaimed as his thoughts on Cera's voice scattered. "That shirt is both ridiculous and inaccurate."
"Oh, this?" Cera asked, holding the words printed on her shirt out slightly and looking down. Ridiculous and inaccurate wasn't the reaction she was expecting exactly. "Well it is supposed to be whimsical, so I suppose it could be considered ridiculous. But the inaccuracy would only be every seven years during a Vulcan's Pon-Farr, right?"
"Judging by the shirt you are currently wearing and that informed statement you just made am I correct in assuming that you are a fan of Gene Roddenberry's masterpiece, which is Star Trek?" Sheldon queried suddenly interested in this odd female that had surprising 'Trekkie' knowledge. Most of the women he knew were not interested in such a stellar show. But it was possible she wore the shirt as a fashion statement because it made the hue of her eyes all the more blue.
"Well, I wouldn't call myself a super fan or anything, but I have spent time on board the USS Enterprise…through my TV. Sci-fi can be quiet stimulating when done right." Cera said softly, smiling. She felt pleased they connected over this, if for but a moment. She hadn't shared that much with him before. She decide she should take advantage of this positive moment for the purpose she had for catching him-a meeting.
"Sh... Sheldon, can we meet, for 'bout an hour or so, maybe?" Cera stammered out, her nerves getting the better of her.
"Uhh, I suppose. For what purpose?" Replied Sheldon looking suspicious. Did she want to meet to discuss Star Trek he wondered?
"Thanks, I, uh, there's really no way to tell you about it, it's uh, best just to save it for um, later, for uh, then." Cera said with her heart in her throat while wringing her hands.
"Ok, very well, I suppose I could acquiesce to meeting with you." Sheldon stated blithely, unaware of Cera's distress.
"Oh, a…Ok, great. When can we meet, when's…when's a good time." Cera stammered relieved with the easy agreement.
"Well, I suppose I have a few minutes tomorrow." Sheldon said.
"No, no tomorrow's no good." Cera didn't want to squeeze this into a few minute space so it was just as well she might have to work the following day.
"Perhaps Tuesday evening, I have dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. They make a passable barbecue bacon burger. You could join." Offered Sheldon as a suggestion.
"No, not the Cheesecake Factory, I'm busy for the evenings through Thursday anyhow." Cera said, knowing this was not a social conversation to have with friends around.
"Very well," huffed Sheldon. For someone who needed time from him, she wasn't being very accommodating. "Friday is vintage video game night. Perhaps I could squeeze you in between Chinese food and game time. Otherwise it will need to be next Saturday before I do laundry. The time for which is approaching at this very moment and you are beginning to interfere with."
"I guess Saturday will hafta do." Cera conceded softly and slowly.
"Very well, next Saturday at 7 pm before I start the presort of my laundry." Sheldon stiffly agreed and rotated to return to his apartment.
"Next Saturday then." Cera said softly from several steps behind him. She then offered up a "Goodbye Sheldon." That received no reply.
Cera knocked on Penny's door after a few deep calming breaths. Next week everything would change, but tonight she was just going to hang out and have a good time.
"Oh, Hey! Come on in." Said Penny opening up her door for Cera to enter.
"Hey yourself." Cera replied, trying not to sound flustered.
"So, can I get you a drink? Are you ready to order some food?" Penny asked.
"Yes and yes. I could definitely use a glass of wine right now. Cera replied.
Penny gave Cera a once over as she walked across to get her a glass of wine. "So, you're not another one of those Star Wars geeks are you?" Penny asked with a laugh.
"Huh?" replied a confused Cera until she realized that Penny was referring to her shirt. "Trek. It's Star Trek. And no, I don't think I'm a geek. If others do that's on them. Oh, and kudos for sorta recognizing Vulcans and Klingons." said Cera with a small smile.
"Yeah, I guess I picked up on some stuff from the guys. So, what's the drink for? You usually don't want any and when you do you say 'Just one.'" asked a curious Penny, who wondered about the odd behavior in her friend. She poured two glasses, but kept her attention on Cera.
"I'm trying to ease my mind and my usual methods aren't working. As for limiting myself well, unluckily both of my parent have had affairs with various addictive substances. I don't want to suffer the same fate." Stated Cera calmly, her voice not showing distress over Sheldon or her rarely mentioned parents.
"Oh, I'm…I'm sorry. I didn't know." Said a floundering Penny. She just didn't know how to reply to that revelation so she changed subject, but hoped to veer back to what was troubling friend soon.
"Do you like music? Well, I know you do. I guess, I mean do you like Black Eyed Peas specifically?" asked Penny putting her iPod into the speaker dock.
"I find them...invigorating in small doses. They're good for an occasional pick me up, but I prefer more lyrical and or instrumentally driven music." Replied Cera.
"Ok, uh...I can't imagine you'd like country." Penny said, slowing her search on a George Strait song.
"Oh, I do. I haven't listened to it much in quite a while, but there always room for George Strait." Cera answered bopping her foot to 'Ocean Front Property as Penny flipped by the song.
"Hmm, Country it is then. Most of my friends can't get into a good country song. I think Sheldon might, or did. I've seen a Garth Brooks CD in his room, but he complains about me listening to it." said a grinning Penny as flipped to Garth Brooks-Shameless.
Cera imagined he didn't listen to it much-it reminded him of his unpleasant childhood, specifically his father, or so he had said.
"So, ah, Thanks for hanging with me for the evening. My other friends are caught up in work and well, it's just awkward since Leonard is dating Priya now. She even had the nerve to tell him to tell me to stay away. Isn't that crappy!?" Penny's voice went up in irritation as she took a large gulp from her wine glass.
"But, you don't want to stay away?" asked Cera softly hoping to soothe Penny's frustration.
"Well they are my friends, all of them. And, and I have all this free time now since I'm not seeing Zack anymore. And with Leonard I always felt so…." explained Penny. She knew Cera would understand. She was always understanding, even if she was a little…flaky.
"So you wanted the presence of another to offset...?" questioned Cera. She knew the only person who could really make Penny feel better, was Penny. Penny just needed to admit it first, to herself.
"I'm not lonely, I'm too busy to be lonely." Stated Penny defensively.
"I never said you were." said a calm Cera, "There's nothing wrong with lonely though. Sometimes I'm most lonely when there are people around. It's because I don't connect with…I just, I want someone to get me. Did Zack not get you?" Cera asked, being more honest than she liked. She hoped her shared honesty would encourage some honesty and insight from Penny. She often wondered what drove others to join as they did. Was it logic, emotion, common hobbies, a combination of all, perhaps even none of those. Whatever it was, she wasn't getting it. Pairing with another always ended in disaster for her.
"I think he did...sometimes...I just needed...he was just kinda...He's dumb ok. He's dumb." explained Penny seemingly embarrassed by the admission.
Cera gave a surprised gasp, "He doesn't speak?" Cera knew he could, but certainly Penny wasn't putting her value on high intelligence in a paramour.
"No, no. He just, isn't very smart. He doesn't know stuff. He's not interesting." replied Penny.
"We are talking about the same man you brought to the pub where my family and I played?" Cera question vaguely remembering the man in question.
"Yeah that was him. He was sooo hot and sooo good." Penny groaned.
"But you said he was important, the VP of, something, I don't recall you telling me what." Cera said taking another sip of wine.
"Oh, that? It was a company that designed menus and it was just because his dad was the owner, his sister shared the title. He hadn't achieved anything. Not like Leonard. " Complained Penny.
"So you connected with Leonard better? Because of what he did?" questioned Cera.
"Well, no. I mean we were friends and he was friendly. And he was interesting and just did so much stuff. I didn't get most of it and some of it I kinda wasn't into, but I don't think I was bored with Leonard. Sometimes I think he was bored with me. I didn't hafta worry about that with Zack." Penny said, finishing off her first glass of wine. "My friends keep reminding me how happy we were and how good Leonard and I were together. It's made me…kinda…miss him."
"Hun, why are others convincing you of your feelings on a relationship you got out of?" Cera said slowly and thoughtfully. "So, Leonard wasn't superior to Zack, just different set of concerns? Did you ever think to invite Zack to do something interesting? Maybe, create a hobby…together. Take a cooking class or something. Maybe his mind isn't being stimulated in the right way, surely he's not a lackwit in every way. He seemed really into the music." Cera said spacily.
"What?! I…ah…Oh, if you're so interested in Zack you date him." Penny replied poring another drink. "Maybe I should talk to Leonard again…" she said absently.
"Huh? Oh…I don't date" Cera said dismissively before starting again. "What would you talk to Leonard about? I thought you said he was dating, you were happy about that when you were dating too."
At that moment there was a knock on Penny's door. "That must be the pizza. But we are definitely talking about this." said Penny walking to the door.
"I've got it. You go pour more wine." Cera said retrieving her purse from Penny's semi-clean couch. "Hello, How much?" Cera asked fingering the cash in her wallet.
"For a large cheese and a large organic pacific veggie that is thirty-two dollars and forty-eight cents." replied the delivery guy.
Cera pulled a bill from her wallet and took pizza. As she began to shut the door the delivery man stopped her. "Don't you need change?" he questioned.
"No we're good. Have a delightful evening." Replied Cera smiling at the stunned delivery guy as she shut the door.
"Did you just give him fifty bucks for a thirty-two dollar order?" Asked Penny incredulously.
"Sure, is that ok?" Cera replied softly her eyes wide in uncertainty.
"But that's…that's a lot more." Replied Penny concerned her friend was overpaying out of naivety.
"Only seventeen dollars and fifty-two cents." Replied Cera.
"Holy crap, that's more than a…fifty percent tip!" cried Penny struggling to mathematically find the difference. She rarely saw tippers like this and wonder about Cera cause for doing so now.
"Fifty-three percent; almost fifty-four. He graciously brought us our food and I have the money so I choose to brighten his day." Cera stated firmly hoping this conversation was over. She knew she threw a lot of money around, but she didn't like it to be a big deal.
"But-," Penny started.
"Did you freshen our wine?" Cera asked hoping to shift topics. She knew Penny was uncomfortable with that display with money because of her own lack of funds, but she didn't want that to be an issue, not this evening.
"Well you didn't really need any, but I did pour me another glass." Penny stated, knowing when she was being shut down. "So, you don't date huh? I thought you had mentioned a guy back-where were you from again?"
"I did." Cera said shortly not sure if she wanted to get into a life story scenario tonight or not. She'd been taken advantage of so many times for so many reasons, it was hard to offer anything that could be used by anyone else.
"You…did?" Penny repeated uncertain what that was an answer to. She often wondered about Cera, but she never got any straight information from her. She wondered what this odd woman was hiding from. Certainly something interesting went on with her. She was brilliant with music, apparently had a bit of money and she knew Wil Wheaton. And physics. She knew something about physics. Penny vowed to figure it out.
"I did mention a guy. I never mentioned where I was from though." stated Cera, after a second thought she offered up, "North Carolina. I was in North Carolina before moving here, also where I was born. But I grew up locally. In Santa Monica." Cera took a big gulp of wine, unused to offering up so much information.
"Oh, wow. So that's how you have family here. That's about what, forty-five minutes from here?" Said Penny, very interested in what she was learning about Cera.
"Give or take. It took me a little more than fifty minutes to get over here, but I moved to Alhambra several weeks ago. So it's a little less than fifteen minutes." Explained Cera and then jumping topics in her head said "Jeff."
"Jeff? Jeff who?" asked Penny confused by the named suddenly dropped in the middle of Cera's explanation.
"The last guy I dated. Doctor Jeff Warner." Explained Cera taking another gulp of wine.
"Ohhhhh, so was he a doctor, doctor or a sciencey doctor? Ya know, I never thought I'd have to ask the difference until I met the guys." questioned Penny.
"A physician. A pediatric orthopedist." After a heavy sigh Cera added. "Furthering his career was more important than, I don't know, morals, I guess. We dated for eight months." her voice getting softer as she finished her explanation of her ex.
"So was he hot? How was he in bed?" Penny asked wiggling her eyebrows. "Why did it end? Eight months doesn't sound like you don't date." said Penny continued, getting freer with her speech as she sipped more wine.
"Yes, he was handsome. His…lack of…consideration to me and his lack of professionalism was upsetting. I was never intimate with him. I'm very cautious with…that…with myself. I'm not opposed to dating, but…I don't know maybe I'm too sensitive…I just find relationships too…damaging. I mean, it had been…gosh…more than two years when I began dating Jeff. And I only did that because he was insistent and convinced me I was lonely which I'm not sure I actually was. I agreed, against my better judgement. Shoulda just kept to myself." confessed Cera. "In a proper match I don't think convincing should be necessary. On either side."
"Hmm, so…what, you've had bad luck so you've decided you're a loner? And shouldn't a guy have to…to prove themselves a bit. I mean come on, even Sheldon has a girlfriend and he's does…I don't know something to keep her coming around, and he's…weird. I mean so is she, but it works…or something." Said Penny, waving her wine glass around.
Cera nearly choked on her wine at that statement. Sheldon had a girlfriend. Even she wasn't ever his girlfriend. She got to be a collection of large words that he strung together that sounded complimentary, but ultimately meant-nothing. She didn't think it would feel like this after a decade. She didn't expect him to be a monk, she certainly had a few boyfriends in that time. So why did her heart feel like it was being squeezed. She blamed the wine…and the…coitus.
Penny, misinterpreting Cera's distress went on, "It not all that bad, I mean he says that she's not his girlfriend, she his girl 'slash' friend. I mean they don't even hold hands. 'Cuz that would totally freak whack-a-doodle out. I can't imagine him doin' more. Or that anyone would want to do…stuff with his…stuff." She giggled as she finished that ridiculous thought.
Cera relaxed marginally, she had heard the "not his girlfriend" bit before, but if he was still cringing from her that was good. Oh, she felt awful for thinking that. She was also bothered by Penny's thoughts on Sheldon. If Penny found him so odd what must she think of anyone who had ever 'wanted to do more' with the 'whack-a-doodle' and his 'stuff'. Maybe Penny couldn't see him for what he really is-just a man.
"Huh!?"cried out Penny bewildered by Cera's statement. Of course he was a man, but she couldn't possibly be thinking he was a MAN with those…what did he call them…'baser urges.'
"What?" queried Cera. Apparently she let that last little bit slip out loud. Even though she hadn't even finished her first glass of wine, clearly she was starting to slip.
"You said Sheldon was a man. I can promise you, he is not that kinda man. He's had cute grad students throw themselves at him, the guys dates have been into him, but he never pays any attention to any of them. Amy is the first girl he has ever dated and tolerated around. He is not a 'baser urges' guy. He is currently in a relationship of the mind." explained Penny drawing out the mind for emphasis.
"O-Ok. I'm not even sure what means, but if it makes him happy." Cera closed her eyes tight and finished off her wine. This was all just too surreal. A relationship of the mind? That she hadn't heard before.
"Hell if I know what it means, or if it makes him happy. She's…interesting, calls me bestie. I don't think she's ever had any friends before, but then again neither has he." Penny said topping off Cera's wine.
"Having a best friend is nice. Getting to pick out that special person that gets you and you get is wonderful. I met mine when I was eleven. She been with me through so much, she's my solid. Is Amy good to you?" Cera said wistfully. Maybe this Amy was a good person, good for Sheldon.
"Uh, well, she's seems to be really…into me. She…tries hard. Very dependable." Penny trailed off not quiet knowing how to explain Amy.
The music filled the room as both women were lost in thought. Cera tried to take in and sort through all she had learned about Sheldon. She began to sing along softly to the George Strait song playing on Penny's iPod.
"It ain't cool to be crazy about you, / It ain't suave or debonair/ To let you know I care, like I do.
It ain't smart, to be so reckless with my heart. / I should have known right from the start
I'd end up like a fool; / Believe me, it ain't cool."
According to Penny's statement it was clear that Sheldon had never mentioned her; in any capacity and that fact stung despite the fact that she wasn't surprised by it. Hell, he could hardly admit to being with her as a friend and definitely not as more when she was with him.
"Yeah, well, relationships are a…predicament I don't need." Cera finally spoke again as the song concluded.
"But what about love, passion, companionship, sex, kids. You can't be alone forever." Penny said starting think maybe Cera was a little crazy too.
"Oh, I already have one." Cera said pulling out her phone to show Penny a picture.
"You have one what…a kid?" Penny asked surprised by Cera statement. "Holy crap on a cracker, since when?"
"Yes, I have a child. A daughter. She turned nine back in December, though she thinks she's fourteen. This was her last week." Cera pointed to a picture in her phone of a thin girl with dark, straight, hair past her shoulders; standing in front of a fountain. The girl was trendy in a denim skirt, pastel plaid shirt over a pink tee, with brown ankle boots. She had a natural smile, bright blue eyes and her hand on her right hip.
"Wow, you have a pretty daughter. How come you never said anything? Wait, is this why you don't hang out much and want to leave so early?" Penny asked, full of questions about this huge revelation from her new friend.
"She's my heartbeat. It's my job to protect her, so I am very careful with people I introduce her to. I wanna know what kind of people my friends and coworkers are before I introduce her to them. I even run background checks on boyfriends, babysitters, housekeepers… I want to make sure she's safe. I'm all she has." Cera explained, getting a little misty at the thought of her daughter. "She was at the grill. When we played. She was at that table with the kids a few tables over from you."
"Oh, I kinda remember those kids." Penny said with her head turned to the side thinking. "Where's her dad? If, if you don't mind me asking?"
"I, uh, he…can I get a bit more wine?" Cera waited for Penny to open a new bottle and pour before starting. "He's…not…around. He…doesn't know of her." She said very slowly. She needed to tread lightly until she could speak to Sheldon, this was their business and no one else's.
"Did something happen to him?" Penny asked, her voice laced with concern.
"No…sometimes, things just fade away and sometimes things end abruptly." There was no need to vilify Sheldon, so Cera kept it as simple and vague. "We broke away from each other before I knew."
"And you didn't think to tell him?" Penny asked kind of disturbed that somewhere there was a man that didn't know he had a daughter. And a girl that didn't know her daddy. She didn't always get along with her dad, but she couldn't imagine not having one.
"I tried…to reach him, he wouldn't answer or return my calls. I admit, I didn't try as hard as I should, but after we dissolved….I just….couldn't." Cera admitted with tears in her eyes.
"He musta hurt you bad." Penny watched sympathetically as Cera turned her head and wiped her eyes. "Are you ever gonna tell him? Where is he, back in North Carolina?"
"Yea…hurt" Cera croaked. "Soon….Very soon. I…don't think he's ever been to North Carolina. He's…around."
"You let me know if you need any help. I'm here for you. Even if I have to go Junior Rodeo on his ass." Penny proclaimed hugging her friend tight.
"That would be a tough position for me to put you in, but thank you, all the same." Cera said smiling up at her through tears. "Did you know that DSW is having a BOGO sale on boots this weekend?" she asked changing the subject for the evening.
As the evening wore down Penny and Cera covered much simpler topics; shoes, clothes and why Cera thought American Idol ruined music. Though they disagreed about the merits of a struggling musical artist working through parties, bars, and carnivals trying to find their voice versus the benefits of being promoted on TV to national fan base that could cast their own votes, they enjoyed themselves.
Before Cera departed Penny brought up what seemed like a brilliant idea in her wine clouded mind. "You know, you really should give Zack a try."
"Huh?! Give him a try for what?" asked a stunned Cera. Surely Penny wasn't suggesting she date again. Didn't she remembered the conversation about not dating and having a daughter?
"He's a…a good guy. Even if he is a little…simple. Even…even Amy thought he was a hottie. You should…you should go out with him….at least once. Maybe you'd feel better if you got led. Lead? LAID!" Slurred a slightly inebriated Penny.
"I suppose I would. Feel better. For a few minutes…But I don't feel bad, so I don't need to feel better. And I really don't want to go on a date, hottie or no." grunted Cera. She really was getting frustrated with Penny now. And the woman definitely need to switch to water.
"But I need someone to dist…distance….distract him. He's just always…'round and…callin'. I just feel suff...I can't breathe. And we aren't even dating anymore!" Penny complained getting louder and louder.
"Here, have some water." Cera carefully ensured that both of Penny's hand went around the glass she was giving her. Cera let out a heavy sigh "I will agree-."
Penny cut Cera off, "Yeah, you won't regret it!"
"You didn't let me finish! I will agree to 'meet a new friend.' And only once if he's not the friendly sort. But make sure he knows-this is just a friendly meeting." acquiesced Cera. She really didn't mind as long as he knew they were only ever going to be friends.
"Ok, ok…jus' friends." agreed Penny.
"All I need is friends. They're like family you can pick and quiet helpful. In fact, call me tomorrow, I've got a favor to ask you. Oh and drink all that water, you need to stay hydrated. Do you have ibuprofen? You should take that instead of acetaminophen in the morning." Cera just could not help but ensure Penny was tended to before she left.