A/N: Thank you for reading and reviewing.

I Do Not Own Big Bang Theory

Chapter 9

"It is my understanding that leaving your house guest alone, as you run to your room is considered rude, however knowing him as I do, I feel certain he won't return." Amy informed Cera after they watched Sheldon storm off to his room.

"Hmmm." Cera might've gone to his room and tried to further talk to Sheldon if Amy wasn't here, but she wasn't about to do this in front of his…non-girlfriend.

"If you don't mind me asking, who or what is a 'liv' and why is that cause for him to be a jerk?"

"If Sheldon hasn't chosen to share that with you, then I will not break his trust." answered Cera obliquely.

"Hmm, that is very noble of you, though I must admit I am burning with curiosity. You must be a very good friend to shroud such information for him."

Cera wasn't certain if this woman fishing for information or genuinely thought she and Sheldon were friends, either way Cera wasn't giving up anything. "Uh, thank you, but I really…couldn't even begin to…presume Sheldon's thoughts concerning myself," she said with a touch of sadness.

"Oh…well. Seeing as how your previously scheduled meeting with Sheldon has concluded prematurely would you care to accompany me to bestie's apartment?"

"I'm not...uh...not sure that...this is not a good time." Cera spluttered. All she wanted to do now was go home and cry.

"Nonsense, Saturdays are perfectly suitable time for wine and girl talk."

"No, I really...need to go." Cera said edging toward the door.

"Penny is expecting me, but I'm certain she won't mind an extra female. Especially since said company is you. Apparently your training has boosted her confidence, theatrically speaking of course. Thought why a flaxen hair darling such as Penny would need to be reassured is beyond me."

"A livelihood rooted in art needs to be learned and practiced just as anything else. The knowledge gained still needs to be critiqued and encouraged. It's far more than having flaxen hair and being nice to look at." Cera responded with a half-smile.

Amy gave Cera a hard look and shook her head before heading towards Penny's, attempting to usher Cera along.

"Greetings Penny. May I say you look stunning this evening?"

"Uh, yeah. Thanks. You're early. And...You...have Cera with you." Penny said ushering her guests in.

"Yes, well spotted. Seems her meeting with Sheldon has been cut short by one of his fits of pique. Apparently, there was nothing to discuss regarding 'liv'." Cera glared at Amy's oversharing.

"What is 'liv'?" Asked Penny looking towards Cera.

"I can't say." Replied Cera softly. "I should…I should go." Cera was stunned by how quickly 'Liv' had spread around. She hadn't heard her nick name this much in the past year. Were there not secrets among these people? They were as bad a teenage girls.

"No, no. Stay! You haven't met Bernadette yet." Penny protested.

"We've been eager to meet you ever since you started working with Penny." Said Bernadette from the sofa, trying to encourage Cera to stay.

"I'll...linger…for a few minutes." Cera mumbled.

"You remaining here would be beneficial for our girls' night. As they say, the more the merrier." Amy urged taking the colorful chair next to Bernadette.

Cera managed to squeak out "Uh...ok," about the time a glass of wine was shoved into her hand.

"Typically in times of female bonding we swap intimate details about ourselves. For instance I have an extroverted uterus and have been pleasured to orgasm on 121 occasions by having the pleasure center of my brain electronically stimulated." Amy offered up to get the girl talk going.

"Ah, ok. Thank you for, uh...sharing...uh...Amy, right?" Cera was bewildered by the bluntness of Amy.

"Yes that's Amy. She's still...acclimating to 'girl's night'...procedures. I'm Bernadette by the way."

"Oh! Howard's love right?" Cera said brightly, finally settling down gingerly beside Bernadette.

"Yeah, so, he talked about me?" Bernadette said in a happy, perky tone. Things with Howie had been...unsettled, but hearing that he spoke of her, instead of how creepy he behaved was encouraging.

"I don't know him well, I just met him once, but I believe he is a man smitten." Cera replied.

Amy jumped in eager to learn about her new friend. "So, whom was your first date, when did you lose you virginity, did he break your heart? Were you popular in school?"

"Uh, those are quiet personal questions. For me those are…either very tender, special memories or moments of grief and I don't share myself with just anyone. May I get to know you better and consider what I wouldn't mind sharing with you?" Cera answered feeling overwhelmed.

"Oh...I assure you as friends of Penny's, just as yourself, you can consider us trustworthy. Or do you have something hide?" Amy asked defensively.

"I'm certain that you are lovely women. I'm just...selective with whom I bring into my confidence. And I am hiding things. Everyone hides something. But for the record I was homeschooled so there was no one to be popular with." Cera answered coolly.

"That sounds interesting, but you missed homecoming and prom." Penny noted.

"Ehh." Cera said with a shrug. The idea of prom hadn't impressed her when she was a teenager, she certainly wasn't interested now that she was in her thirties.

"Don't mind them. Amy…has a unique way of getting to know new people. She really is fun though. Uh, so Penny, you were telling me about Leonard." Bernadette said trying to change the subject as she detected the discomfort of the new arrival.

"Yeah he's stumbling around in contacts, all dressed up for Priya. He's miserable. He has to be. I hate to see him this way. He should be…be true to himself. I should talk to him. " Penny complained.

"And you want to save him from being altered for an imaginary happiness?" Cera asked.

"Well, kinda. I mean he should be himself. And he shouldn't hafta do everything that…that bitch Priya says." Penny said getting angrier as she thought about it.

"Not all decisions a man can make are good, but they should always be his own. Is your dislike of Priya because of her attachment to a lover that was once yours?" Cera asked innocently. She was bewildered they were having this conversation again. She thought Penny had worked through this.

"Penny is experiencing frustration from being the unsuccessful contender in the intersexual competition between herself and Priya. Thus she feels the need to reassert herself to prove herself a viable mate. Or possibly fling her poo at her." Amy explained

"Oh…just because the chemicals in your brain are having a reaction, doesn't mean suddenly you can create a happy unit when you couldn't before. And I'm pretty sure flinging poo is the behavior of a lower primate." Cera offered.

"But what if we could." Said Penny wistfully.

"Yeah, what if Penny and Leonard could make it work at this time?" repeated Amy.

"Relationships, I think, are better when they are allowed to flow and expand at a natural, mutual pace. If you were to interfere with his current love, it would be by force. And that force could only work if your love, commitment, and affection are big enough to match the force it took to ruin what he has now. If…that is what you are speaking of" Cera said thoughtfully.

"That would be a bold move Penny." Bernadette said.

"Well, I wasn't going to do anything. I was just...thinking...about Leonard."

"Because of his attributes and how you feel about him, or because he's comfortable and you are lonely?" Cera questioned.

"Do you not want my bestie to be happy?" Amy asks accusingly, wondering why the new comer was presenting so many confusing questions to her bestie.

"I want her to know her own heart and mind before making a decision. She never mentioned Leonard when she was dating others. Did you think they had a good relationship?" Cera asked curiously. She had no knowledge of the relationship between the Penny and Leonard, but she assumed Penny's friends did.

"Actually, I was not acquainted with Penny while she was dating Leonard so I could not give you an accurate opinion on their union." Amy admitted.

"What did you think Bernadette?" Cera turned the question.

"Well Penny seemed more...umm, stable while they were dating, she didn't party as much. But at the same time she pulled away from her friends. Some more than others. I imagine if I hadn't started dating Howie we wouldn't hang out at all." Bernadette stated and then added "Sorry Penny." with a sympathetic look.

"You're right, you're right. I did stop hanging out. Leonard was weird around my friends and they were dull compared to him and so I just quit trying to make 'em meet in the middle. But he was a good boyfriend." Said Penny.

"A woman such as Penny deserves to have a smart, successful, good looking boyfriend. Isn't that what we all want?" noted Amy as Penny asked about wine refills. Both Bernadette and Amy nodded yes carrying on their conversation. Cera mumbled "I shouldn't."

"That's not all we want Amy. Is that what you want?" Bernadette asked surprised at this new facet Amy had begun to show. Aside from her pseudo-boyfriend, Sheldon, who was only meant to distract her mother, Amy hadn't really mentioned interest in relationships. And only once had she expressed a physical interest in a man.

"Of course, it is an innate biological imperative that we pick the best mate possible and reproduce." Amy explained.

"Only Cera thinks it's fun to be alone. Even Sheldon has a girlfriend now." laughed Penny.

Amy cleared her throat in response.

"I don't think that at all. I merely think it's safer and less complicated to be alone. It's a…dysfunction I have from watching my parents…and my own past relationships. I…I know it's unhealthy and I don't judge others for doing what I'm too frightened to do. But it's not fun." Why people thought she enjoyed being lonely because she had no desire to serial date she would never understand. And why was Sheldon dating such a big deal?

"Oh, I didn't mean-" Penny started.

"It's fine. I'm going to lunch with Zack this week anyhow. As friends." Said Cera firmly holding up her had. "New topic. So, Penny, have you had any auditions lately. We haven't worked together in a while." Cera said shifting to something more comfortable.

"Zack!?" Penny chirped happily at Cera' still upturned hand. "Oh, uh, I've been to two. Both for commercials. Both turned me down." She gestured toward Cera, "Are you sure you don't want more wine?"

"I'm so sorry, Penny. I'm sure you'll get the next one." said Bernadette softly.

"They are fools for not capitalizing on your lustrous blonde locks and delightful smile. I would purchase anything you advertised." Amy said encouragingly.

"I'll take more wine, though I shouldn't. Three stints in Betty Ford between two parents says it's a bad idea. Life in the lime light is a grievous thing."

"I'm sorry I forgot." Said Penny sympathetically.

"Both of your parents suffer from addictions? Do you know to what substances? Did they relapse with a formerly used substance or did they find a new drug to replace the first? Did any of your grandparents have addictions as well?" Amy asked.

Bernadette reached over and nudged Amy and shook her head whispering a harsh "Amy."

Amy mumbled "Sorry." then asked "Do you think Penny would not enjoy her chosen profession?"

"I don't know if she will or not, but I know it is tedious and the invasion that is fame, is far reaching." Cera answered.

"Whadya mean?" asked Penny.

"When you become famous, you'll always wonder if your friends are truthful or if they have become your yes men. Any new people you meet you will wonder if they really like you. The media will be unnaturally interested in boyfriends, husbands and even your children. Yes they will follow your kids, too." Said Cera sourly.

"That's quiet discouraging, and a bit exaggerated as well. Are you trying to frighten Penny away from her dream?" asked Amy. She was beginning to think Penny's new friend was a real 'downer' as they say.

"I don't know, those tabloids do seem pretty invasive. Cera may be on to something." Bernadette said.

"Why do you think all that?" Asked Penny suspiciously.

Cera suddenly became very interested in her wine glass and mumbled "My parents."

Amy scratched her head and asked "Your parents gave you that information?"

"Who are you parents?" Penny asked.

"Patrick and Cynthia Tollman" Cera answer quietly shrinking back into her seat as if to disappear. She was suddenly feeling very vulnerable and very crowded. Why was this sofa so small?

"They sound familiar, what do they do?" asked Bernadette.

"They are in a band. Toll Bridge." Cera could not figure out why she was telling them this. Oh yeah, the wine.

"Wait weren't they like big in the eighties? I remember my parents were into them." asked Bernadette.

"According to Wikipedia they joined British brothers Julian and Roger Hembrow and Roger's wife Becky in 1974. They formed a folk band that was heavy on piano and guitar. They had three top ten hits and two top twenty hits in the seventies. In the early eighties they had four more songs that were top forty. Since then they have done reunion tours. Three members broke away and launched moderate solo careers in the late eighties. In the mid ninety's the reunited and tour with other bands from the seventies." Amy informed them as she thumbed through the information on her phone.

"Why haven't you mentioned this before?" asked Penny the same time Bernadette said "That's why you are so talented."

"While it is interesting to be friends with the offspring of celebrities and it is fascinating that you carry their talents, it's not as if those are your accomplishments." Amy stated.

"Amy!" Both Penny and Bernadette cried together.

"No, it's ok. I agree with her. I have always wanted my own life apart from the organism that is their talent, fame and the…emotional…cataclysm it caused. I even went without speaking to them for a time because of it. Well, not just that, but that was a big contributor." explained Cera.

"No wonder you're so private." said Bernadette.

"So you just inherited all their talent. And you're so helpful with it." Penny cooed.

"Don't. Do that. Don't make me something I'm not because of them. Yes, I inherited some of their talent, but I still have to practice. Genetics is not just a gimme you still have to do the work. And what I inherited is sharp hearing that allows me to take in all the nuances of sound, break them down and reproduce them at will. And a voice I can manipulate."

"Are you suggesting that their contribution to your genome was merely an enhancement in your primary motor cortex, supplementary motor area, ventral thalamus and posterior cerebellum? Has this also given you superior speech and language skills? Those enhancement also supposedly correlate to mathematical abilities." asked Amy clinically.

"Essentially yes. I have had the ability to play most instruments since I was old enough to have the motor skills to do so. Of course some I had to grow into; like the guitar. I do speak five different languages, but English is native, the German is because of my grandparents, the Spanish is because thirteen percent of the US speaks it and the percentage is even larger in this area, French and Italian I learned, just because I wanted to. My math skills are above average, and I would never refer to myself as superior-though my mom totally would. She pushed us to be superior." Cera answered.

"Wow, so what's it like-having famous parents?" Penny asked.

"I can't really say, since I have nothing to make a comparison to. Sometimes it was chaotic, we traveled a lot for tours, when we weren't left with different family in different states. I wasn't terribly old when I became…aware of the parties and, what I now know was, hedonistic bedlam. But they loved us and gave us great advantages; that's how we came to have a private tutor at home. I also know at times we were over indulged, that's actually how we came to meet Wil."

"Your parents indulged you in letting you meet Wil Wheaton?" Bernadette asked.

"No my parents indulged my older brothers in getting them on the set of Star Trek: The Next Generation back in the eighties. And somehow that led to us having a few seconds of screen time in an episode that revolved around a group of children. I think it was season two"

"You've been on a TV show!?" exclaimed Penny hopping off her barstool in excitement.

"Oh the guys would go nuts if they knew that." Bernadette said.

"Ugh," Cera grunted inelegantly. "Hmm, more false associations because of who and what I know. And not because of any direct interest in me." Cera was beginning to feel the depressants in her wine taking its toll and now she had blurted out information that was likely to make her feel even more dejected.

"Oh, they wouldn't use you like that. I mean everybody gets used by somebody for something, and I imagine you had it worse, but we're not like that. The guys might go fanboy for a bit and then move on. Is that why you wouldn't talk to me much for so long? Why you don't date?" Penny wondered.

"Essentially. Also what I desire in an inamorato are not within reach. I've learned my hopes are…a bit outlandish." Cera confessed.

"What in the world could you possibly want?" Bernadette asked at the same time Penny asked "What's a in-amerado?"

"Male lover, in Italian. I have a whole list of expectations, I started it at 13, and of course now the list is more than tall, cute, and fun. Doesn't everybody have one?" Cera answered them both.

"Nah, that would take all the fun out of going out." Penny replied.

"I don't have a list per say, but I do have certain standards." Bernadette answered, getting a laugh from Penny and Amy.

"That sounds like a logical way of picking a mate. It certainly would eliminate guess work and provide quite a bit of structure to dating. Is this submitted in questionnaire form? When do you present it to them? Is this the same methods employed by the better online dating sites?" Amy asked.

"Oh, I would never tell a date what I expect. I just know what I want and need and as the guys don't live up to them we part ways. It's dangerous to the heart to keep someone close after figuring out we're incompatible. People do have the tendency to fall in love with those they spend lots of time with, especially if you are intimate with them.

Besides, people can always misrepresent themselves to sway an outcome. That would be the problem with dating sites. It may match up people with some similarities but odds are its matching two people that are both pretending to be someone else. Anyone can say and be anything until they achieve their goal of a hot meal or sex or marriage. It's a ruse that preys on the gullible and the lonely." Cera explained.

"Hmm, amusing, Sheldon referred to the clients of online dating as gullible, lonely prey, as well, when I first met him." Amy responded.

"How did you meet Sheldon, if you don't mind my asking?" Cera was pretty sure she actually didn't want to know, but she couldn't stop the question from slipping out. Damn wine.

"Sheldon and I were deemed an exemplary match on an online dating site." Amy answered.

Cera didn't think that seemed like Sheldon at all, but could she actually claim to know him after a decade away. She shifted on the chair as she was feeling unsettled, but it wasn't from the state of her seat. She just couldn't believe Sheldon had put his information onto a dating site profile. And it produced a good match…in…Amy. This very dry, very mechanical woman was…suited…for Sheldon. Cera could seeing them being similar but not exactly complementary. She supposed it really didn't matter if Amy was the right one for him or not; she knew it wasn't her. He told her so. Twice.

"I've since learned that it was not Sheldon but actually Howard and Rajesh who created the dating profile. So I suppose you do have point." Amy followed up.

"Hmm," That did make her feel slightly better. Though, she really would rather have no feelings on the matter at all.

"They are going to have a baby though!" exclaimed an excited Penny.

Cera spluttered her drink. She was dumbfounded by this new development. She took several calming breaths that failed to do their job. Cera badly wanted to not be having this conversation or even be here for that matter. She pulled out her phone and started thumbing through menus.

"They're making them in a test tube. Isn't that…interesting?" Penny added.

Cera felt weak. She shouldn't feel anything, she told herself, and she had prepared herself for any scenario with Sheldon. Married, kids, girlfriend she thought she could handle anything. Test tube siblings from a non-relationship was not something she was expecting for Merritt. "Why?" She didn't mean to ask that, but it was a viable question.

"Our genetic material has the potential to produce intellectually superior beings." Amy answered happily. Both Penny and Bernadette snickered at this.

"Your genetic material…has potential?" Cera asked stupefied by such a detached reason for having a baby. Though perhaps some of this sensation was actually the wine.

"Oh yes, as we are both supremely intelligent. The genes with those markers will combine when the spermatozoa fertilizes the ovum producing an embryo carrying those superior genes." Amy answered slowly ensuring that Cera could understand the concept.

Cera sighed heavy, knowing the woman assumed she was an idiot. She finished her second glass then without a trace of her typical southern drawl and with perfect elocution Cera responded, "While I do understand the process of reproduction, I'm pretty sure genetics isn't that…easy. If I'm not mistaken, genius is considered a genetic anomaly, much like birth defects, and does not have a high heritability rate. Even in the case of two geniuses reproducing, regression towards the mean seems to be the standard."

"Wha'?" asked Penny.

Bernadette looked at Cera curiously before answering. "She means that anyone has a one in oh, ten-thousand chance of creating a genius. It's a crap shoot of which genes line up to give a child super intelligence. And then even when two highly intelligent people come together odds are there kids IQs are going to slide back closer to average than the parents instead of improving to be higher than their parents. And, she's not wrong."

"Really, So no little Homo Novussesses for the Shamy? You still wanna settle for that test tube Amy?" Penny asked gesturing with her wine, a smirk on her face.

"I'm sure with the superiority of Sheldon and myself we could overcome such insubstantial obstacles. Though, I will look into that just to be certain. One can't believe everything one reads on Wikipedia." Amy answer with a tight voice and an irritated look at Cera.

Cera was feeling weary of this entire evening. Sheldon wouldn't speak to her. She was pretty certain she had angered his not girlfriend. And she had been more personal with these women, two of which she didn't know, than she had been with anyone outside of family for years. It was definitely time to go home.

Cera stood with a slight sway, "An, I wish you all the luck with that. Amy, Bernadette it was niissse to meet you both. Penny gimme a call. I will…I will see ya'll later."

"Cera, you don't have to go. It's still early." Bernadette said sweetly.

"Yeah, I don't think you should be going anyway. I've never seen you drink this much. Can you even drive?"

Cera giggled, "No, proply not." she slurred, brightly with a heavy drawl as she waved her phone "But I hailed a cab. Hail Cab! Should be downstairsss."

"Uh, ok. See ya." Penny said.

"Good bye Cera. Nice to meet you." Bernadette called out as Cera walked out the door. Amy remained silent, mulling over the events brought by this new acquaintance.