A/N: I don't own Big Bang Theory

Chapter 10

Slamming the door to his room Sheldon leaned heavily against it as though he could keep the truth from following him into his sanctuary. Though he had observed the evidence and calculated the probability he was still surprised. He curled in on himself on his bed feeling as though he had taken a blow to the stomach. His head was fuzzy with information and emotion, both new and old. Perhaps this was what she was experiencing when she made her swift exit from his apartment. That would mean that she was surprised by his presence. If she was unaware of his location, why did it seem as though she had pursued him purposefully? Why was she even here? Why the disguise and deception? Would she expose that at one time, he too gave into urges, to their social group? She had always been circumspect with personal information, even from him. So he decided that she would, in all likelihood, keep their former...alliance to herself.

No longer speaking endlessly on her work anymore, she seemed softer than she had before, but perhaps, there were hints of this the entire time. She had offered him a ride, but she had always been generous; she had proven their interactions were sanitary, but she endeavored to him at kept ease before. Perhaps it was her state of dress or perhaps it was the hair, but she seemed more playful.

Sheldon wondered if she had abandoned her profession to become a hippie, though the sophisticated appearance she had presented earlier in the week told him that was unlikely. He had never disliked her work, she was passionate about it and had a great work ethic. She never behaved with the assumption that her work was superior, she acknowledged that she used physics daily. Not that she ever let him claim that his field was better. Olivia claimed as long as one is happy and making a difference competition was unnecessary.

All of his memories of Olivia were muddled with 'Cera'. All bright colors and blonde hair. Was it possible she was…more beautiful? Long, soft blonde hair, where it once was short and dark. Her clear blue eye no longer covered by spectacles. She seemed curvier than she had been previously, the rest of her shape catching up with her…well rounded posterior. Thinking about her attractive features his body forgot about being a Homo Novus and began to experience, what was once, nearly a Pavlovian response. It had taken him a few years and a lot of alone time to overcome the response to anything that triggered memories of her. Leonard, of course, noticed that behavior and teased him relentlessly for it, even going so far as to refer to him as a semi-pro.

Sheldon got up to distract his mind and body and found himself putting on music. He pulled out an old CD emblazoned with George Strait. He had purchased it on a whim after an afternoon playing billiards with Olivia in a bar and grill they frequented. The fond memories of those outings caused such stirrings of…weakness. Olivia had seemed more relaxed, expressive and encouraging there. She was able to detach herself from her career that seemed to becoming more overwhelming and grievous by the day. They still discussed serious yet very engaging matters such as the Tau Neutrino, that was finally detected in July of that year, or the 'draft' of the human genome. While in that place she was constantly bouncing around jovially to the music while playing pool or darts and pulling him right along with her. That alone was the problem, she caused him to behave impulsively and without regard to logic and his beloved physics.

Half way through the first song he realized he was behaving like Leonard. An emotional Leonard, after a break up no less. And he had not even experienced a breakup. Not really, they had never been together. Not officially. At the time he had distracted himself throwing himself into his upcoming move and the new and exciting work he would be able to do once he arrived. He certainly had no interest in dealing with his reactions like his siblings suggested. Junior would have found another female to copulate with. Missy wanted to feed the issue.

"Shelly, the best way get over a woman, is to get under another one." Junior told him with a wink at a time when he hadn't exited his room for three days. Sheldon wasn't certain how his position in relation to someone else had to do with his current...social adjustment. He also didn't want to discuss the matter, or anything really, with Junior so his response was "Mind your own beeswax, Junior!" and a slammed door. Junior didn't know specifically what Sheldon's…association with Olivia was, but he was fairly certain it was suspected on the occasions Junior would pick him up from her apartment.

Missy just offered ice cream and said she could sneak him alcohol. He honestly could not figure why they insisted he had some sort of issue. He was glad to be done with the woman. She was time consuming and distracting. He did take the ice cream though. It was chocolate.

Olivia had confessed her...feelings, like a hippie, which he abhorred. By the time he decided her...absence was...inconvenient, she was...spending time with someone else and then gone.

"Hey Shelly, guess who I ran in to today!" Missy asked running into the living room where Sheldon had stacks of paperwork.

"I'm not interested in playing your inane guessing games, Missy."

"Ok, ok. Me and Bucky, you know Bucky right, were out in Huston yesterday, and went to that little bar and grill, you know the one with the pool tables? Anyway, we were there and I ran into to your friend Liv. Well I didn't actually, run into her 'cause we didn't talk and I don't think she saw me, but I saw her."

"She's not my friend, as would be indicated by the fact that we have not spoken or met in eleven weeks." Sheldon answered huffily. He was weary of hearing about Olivia, or talking about Olivia, and especially thinking about Olivia.

"Of course not. A Homo New-ves like you don't need friends. Anyway, the female colleague who you used to exchange ideas with, and shared common interests with," Missy said pitching her voice to mimic Sheldon, "she's got a new boyfriend." The sound of Sheldon's papers rustling ceased. "They looked pretty cozy to me." Hearing a swoosh followed by a thunk behind her, Missy turned to see an agitated Sheldon with papers scatters at his feet. "Or is that the reason for your 'difference of opinion.'?"

"I assure you I have no concern for what she is doing, or whom she is doing it with. She was tedious and…and distracting and I wish her well with her future endeavors." His voice going up in agitation. Sheldon walked to his room, but before he could cross the kitchen he heard Missy approaching him.

"You know she called again last week. Momma said she called week before that, too."

Sheldon continued to his room ignoring Missy. He was well aware she had called, she had tried to contact him through his cell phone as well.

"Maybe, her opinions ain't so different anymore." Missy said raising her voice to ensure he could hear her.

Sheldon didn't slow down as he wasn't interested in anything Missy had to say, especially when she chose to slaughter the English language in that manner. The only thing he wished to concentrate on was obtaining his second doctorate. He needed to focus on his move in a few weeks and he wanted to be ahead in his classes that would start in January.

As he sat down in his room among his boxes, his mind betrayed him and began to think of Olivia anyway. The ability to profess strong emotions for someone only to turn and go on to another, was proof to him that emotions were ephemeral and faulty. Merely a chemical reaction in the brain that only the dimwitted and weak gave into. Sheldon Cooper was neither.

His imitation of Leonard was unacceptable. This is exactly why the shorter man's work was subpar, he allowed himself to be distracted by the fairer sex and that was just not acceptable for Sheldon. He needed to do something functional as a distraction. He would do laundry. He should do laundry, but, he dare not leave his apartment yet. He feared a repeat run in with Cera? Olivia? HER.

While cats could distract his mind from noticing the absence of stimulating conversation, they would do nothing to make his eidetic memory forget the sound of her laugh, the smell of her hair, the feel of her skin. Sheldon attempted to dismiss these thought and memories doing something fun and useful. He decided to go through and check the inventory on his comics. He donned his gloves and was thumbing through his second box when he came across it. The Uncanny X-Men vs. Sauron. One of the few comics sent to him by Olivia, herself. He slid the comic out of it protective sleeve as he opened the book a tri-folded letter fell out. Sheldon flipped the letter open to reveal the feminine curls of her cursive, annoyed by yet another reminder of her.

He had not seen Olivia in over a year and a half, but occasionally he still received correspondence from her. She occasionally sent him comic books and other trinkets despite his protest. She had even sent him the photos from Germany, which he kept, though he found them unnecessary. This package was no different. He unfolded her letter to read.

April 21, 1998

Hey Sheldon,

How are you? I hope you are doing well and that your work is progressing at a pleasing rate. My studies are going well. I'm bogged down with Anatomic and Clinical Pathology right now, so this will be a quick note.

I was in Atomic Empire earlier (that's our comic book store here in Durham) and I thought of you. This was just released today. I hope you haven't gotten it by the time this reaches you. If you have, feel free to exchange it for anything that strikes your fancy. I really enjoyed this one. It's Jubilee! And I really identify with her. (Living in a mall in Hollywood after losing my wealthy parents with Mutant fireworks!) That could so be me (I'm being sardonic!) Yes, I know she isn't really all that impressive, but she's whimsical, and what's life without a little whimsy, right? Hope you enjoy X-men vs. Sauron. I'll say no more, so as not to reveal the plot to you.

This, by the way, is NOT a gift. (Even if your birthday did just pass-you're legal now just like me; as if we ever let something like age hold us back!) You don't have to send me anything (Not even for my birthday in a few months) let's just call it a proof. It's physical evidence you crossed my mind at some point during the day. You may of course reciprocate if, and only if, you want to. But you are in no way obligated to send me anything, you aren't even obligated to write me in return. I'm glad that you do though.

Anyway, I've got a paper to write. Good fortune and happiness to you!

Truly,

(TTFN-TaTa For Now!)

Liv

Sheldon smiled at his letter and non-gift. While he struggled to adjust to the idea that someone wanted to treat him friendly and provide him with…proofs, he did like the feeling. Having a pen-pal wasn't so bad. He would have to write her back promptly tomorrow. For now he had a book to read.

Sheldon folded the letter and put the comic book away gingerly. He felt as though his trusted comics had betrayed him by bringing on these sensations that just did not compute. He decided instead of his regularly scheduled laundry, he would attempt to watch television, in spite of his schedule. At the moment his routine would bring him out of the comfort of his apartment and not bring the calm and order that kept his world balanced.

As he flipped through the channels he came across the X-Men movie. They had gone to see it together a few weeks after his mother ran into her in Twin Horns Steakhouse just inside of Houston (a place he abhorred, but his family insisted.) They had, of course, both seen the movie alone earlier in the summer when it was first released, but that was the first time someone had voluntarily gone to see a movie with him. He was grateful for the companionship as it assured him competent assistance if he were to choke on his popcorn.

He had always assumed she was lonely and despite her usual intelligence, gave into her baser and unnecessary need for social interaction. Really, that was the only reason she could have for seeking him out once or twice a week, despite the long drive between her home and his.

Sheldon and Cera were standing in the concession line at the movie theater in Galveston. He was grateful that she had arrived early enough to give them time to collect their snacks. He had just placed his order for a Diet Coke, Red Vines and popcorn with butter when she spoke.

"I can't believe you eat that." Cera exclaimed in a disgusted tone that was missed by Sheldon.

"You have trouble accepting I eat popcorn?" He asked genuinely confused as he took his bag of popcorn from the vendor, who gestured to the butter pumps on the side.

"No Mr. Particular, the artificial butter substance in which you are currently drowning your popcorn." Cera grimaced.

"It's Dr., remember? I do have a doctorate. And I am particular, about the cleanliness of preparation, and proper construction of my food. As I am applying the butter substance, as you put it, myself I am certain that it is both clean and properly applied. I however, unlike you, am not convinced that most substances in food are as toxic as sulfuric acid"

Cera just hmphed, and walked toward the theater. Sheldon followed behind and began a most interesting ritual.

"Ha…Ha…Ha." Sheldon rang out as he moved from seat to seat.

"What are you doing?" asked an intrigued Cera.

"That should be obvious, I'm locating the acoustic sweet spot." Sheldon answered matter of factly.

"Oh. Could you not develop an algorithm that would provide you with the acoustic sweet spot? I imagine you are trying to avoid areas of slap echo." Cera asked in between Sheldon's "Ha"s.

"Slap echo, among other negative reverberations. While I can create such an equation, it would still need to be proven. Real world trials frequently give you different data because of the variables that cannot be accounted for. For example, I cannot take into account every occupied and unoccupied seat in any given theater for any given movie. There for it is most efficient to make a hypotheses and then immediately experiment."

Cera just grinned at his very Sheldon answer and said "Ok, if it doesn't embarrass you, it doesn't embarrass me."

"Why should I be embarrassed? If anything the other moviegoers should be embarrassed for settling for inadequate audio...Besides it can't be any more embarrassing than the gyrating you were doing in the aisles at the supermarket last week when you enjoyed the song playing over the loudspeakers."

Cera blushed at being caught, but couldn't help but laugh and merely said "Touché." As they took their seats in the audio sweet spot.

She was frequently questioning his behavior and motivations, but once he provided logic she would accept him happily and encourage him. Anytime he asked her about why she always felt the need to argue with him and she would laugh and say she wasn't arguing, she just liked playing Devil's Advocate; that it kept him sharp. Sheldon found this frustratingly…amusing.

As Cera pulled up outside Sheldon's childhood home, she bid him goodbye.

"Thanks for going with me. That movie was actually better having someone watch it with me. Though I still believe the movie would have been better with Gambit."

"Since Gambit has only been added to the X-Men in the last decade, I'm not sure that everyone has warmed to him as a vital member as much as you."

"I suppose you're right. It was still pretty cool though."

"You suppose? Olivia, of course I'm right. As the one who spends far more time in comic book stores and amongst true fans of X-Men cannon I'm telling you, Gambit is largely seen as disposable. You are just enamored by the character in a Saturday morning cartoon."

"You're right…you do spend too much time in comic book stores." Cera laughed, "No really, you're fine, you have a hobby that I can relate to even though it's not my favorite thing. And yea, I was totally into that cartoon… So I'll call you later in the week when I have some free time, whatever that is." Cera said before reaching across the car and hugging Sheldon. He instantly froze, but didn't move away.

"Oh, sorry Sheldon!" cried out Cera after realizing her mistake. "Sometimes I just can't help myself. I just I'm here all alone and at times a…tactile person. I've just not had any human…contact in sometime. I know that you are averse to touch because of potential pathogens."

"It is...ok. I find that I am not completely adverse to contact with you. I know that due to your profession you are very hygienic and take the spread of pathogens very seriously. As for needing human contact, I'm no stranger to that need, either. Sometimes, when I was in Germany, I used to long for the comfort of Meemaw's arms, a pat from Mommy, Missy tussling my hair, or even a punch in the arm from Junior. Granted, it's not a frequent desire, but I do understand. It's also understandable that this need is stronger in a female as well. Just…don't make a habit out of it."

"I'll try to contain myself. Let's see it's been about a month since I first hugged you, so is month a long enough recovery time? You can schedule me, four weeks from now." Cera said laughing, glad that he was able to shake this off so easily. Cera had seen him go nearly catatonic because of a noogie from Junior.

"You know, Meemaw gives excellent hugs." Sheldon said hoping he had found a solution.

"Sheldon, I don't think your grandmother wants to hug a stranger."

"You have met Meemaw, therefore you are not a stranger. She does constantly barrage me with questions pertaining to you and insist I invite you to Sunday dinner sometime. Don't worry you aren't obligated to attend. I've assured her you are far too busy for such a tedious occasion. It would be delightful if it was just Meemaw, but of course Momma and my siblings are always there as well."

"That's lovely. I would…I would go. If you…wanted me too. I wouldn't…mind. Of course it would have to be a Sunday I'm not scheduled, but…I would."

"Oh, well, you'd be in for quite a treat. We will have to schedule a Sunday then. You can even get a genuine Meemaw hug and save me from being assaulted by your monthly tactile needs." Sheldon said with a smug yet sincere smile.

Cera just laughed.

Sheldon felt like he was drowning. He couldn't even watch a movie without feeling like he was being suffocated by her. They had spent mere months together, yet she had managed to affect so much. Eventually he decided to turn in early and hope tomorrow he could shake this haunted feeling. Unfortunately, his eidetic memory had other plans for his REM sleep.