Ch 20 Confessions Part 1

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CAPTAIN'S QUARTERS

Bleary-eyed Kate wakes to the darkness and silence of the cabin. Even with only the meager light spilling from the living room lamp Kirk leaves on for a nightlight her bedroom is fabulous. Guilt threatens to crush her with each breath. Kate takes slow, calming breaths to quiet her nerves. It isn't the money Kirk spent on her that is causing the guilt. He can get his money back. Things can be sold or returned. The guilt comes from something Kate can't repay: time. Yesterday so many people spent their time on her. The time they could have spent relaxing. The time they could have spent with friends. Time better spent on someone other than a liar and thief. "Stop it. You are not a liar or thief. You are a Jedi Padawan on a mission. On missions, you do things that you might never do in the real world," Kate's inner voice reminds her. Even her imagined words sound hollow in her head. She is not on any official mission. She was the bait. She is the thief. She is only integral to the mission because Kate was a Kirk and could get access to the ship. From the dead silence of the room, Kate knows Kirk is still not home. She gets up and makes her way into the bathroom. Splashing cold water on her face and brushing her teeth, helps Kate pretend it is a new day. With each action, she pushes her regrets deeper until she feels like some semblance of her old self, the good self. The Kate Solo that was respected and loved. Suddenly she knows what to do. Regardless of how long she is here, Kate needs to make amends for her behavior this afternoon.

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BRIDGE

Kate exhales deeply before stepping off the turbo onto the Bridge. "Does the ship come with ship-wide communications," Kate forgoes the pleasantries walking directly up to Jim. He sets his PADD down staring at her. Kate feels everyone's eyes on her, but she concentrates on Kirk walking forward. He is the only one that really matters in this. Kate has to show him she is a good person that respects those around her. Kirk never answered her question so she rephrases it. "Meaning does this ship have the capabilities to address everyone at once?"

Kate's self-assuredness with the entire bridge crew staring at her intrigues Kirk. "Sure for me or other duty officers," Jim answers her question. The way she groans lets Jim know Kate wanted a different answer. Her squared shoulders sag slightly as her resolve wavers. "Why do you want to make a ship wide announcement," Jim's asks pointedly.

"Because I need to," Kate crosses her arms. Kate's idea sounded so much better without Jim getting all nosy. Her bravado fades as Kirk calls her bluff. It is a battle of wills right now and Kate never loses. Kate's look tells Kirk she is not expanding on her answer. Kate stands straighter preparing for a showdown.

Kirk doesn't want this to become a fight. He needs Kate to feel comfortable coming to him; on the other hand, she needs to understand he will not follow her orders. He relaxes his body posture slouching in the chair letting Kate know this is not a confrontation only a discussion. "Because I need to is not good enough sweetheart," he takes a sip of his coffee. Kirk wants to believe her intentions are sincere; however, Kate has never does anything without a purpose. "What the hell are you up to kiddo," Jim thinks to himself. There is no reason for Kate to address the crew. Sensing she is waiting for him to capitulate Kirk rephrases what he needs from her. "Kate I am not going to let address the crew without knowing the message first?"

Kate buckles under the silence and his stare. "If it is a ship wide announcement you will hear it and I know you have a fancy little mute button in your chair," Kate tries to be playful. "I need you to trust me. If you don't like the message mute me. I am asking you for a favor," Kate takes a deep breath, "as your daughter." Kate fidgets uncomfortably waiting for his reply.

Her admission of being his daughter sways Kirk. Although he can't fathom her message it has to be important enough for her to play the family card. "As my kid huh," Jim winks at her. "Lt. Uhura please prepare for a ship-wide announcement." Once given the nod that his order has been followed, Jim motions Kate over clearing his throat.

"No, I want to do it myself. It will be too weird of you announce me." Kate pats him on the back reassuringly. "Relax Kirk, I did this all the time back home." Jim hides his smile as he watches Kate walk to the center of the room like she is the Captain. Spock raises one eyebrow in disbelief. The Vulcan doesn't mind the children on the Enterprise. For the most part, they are all well behaved and stay off the Bridge. He hopes the Captain's indulgence of his daughter does not become the standard for all the children.

"The floor is yours, Kate," Jim gestures broadly. He, along with everyone on duty, is keenly interested in what she has to say.

"Is this on," Kate hears her voice reverberate on the bridge. Jim shakes his head realizing Kate did not pay attention to a word he just said. "Okay, so I guess it is." Kate clears her voice before starting. "Um, my name is Katherine Organa Solo…Kirk. Huge name I know and it just keeps growing," Kate tries a joke to relieve some of her nervousness. She may not like it, but these people only know her as a Kirk. For the time being, she will have to get used to it like an alias. She looks around the bridge to see everyone staring at her. Kate clears her throat again. She closes her eyes and pretends for a moment that she is Leia addressing the Senate. When she reopens her eyes, she finds her inner strength calming her for the task. "I have asked permission to address the ship because there are so many things I need to say and getting all four hundred and thirty of you together will be like herding cats." Kate looks at Kirk to make sure the reference means what she thinks it does. His slight nod indicates she chose the correct words.

"What are you up to Katherine," Kirk muses to himself. He places a finger on the mute button in case Kate decides to spew her Jedi rhetoric on a grander scale than what she typically has.

Kate's voice gets clearer and stronger with each word. "I want to thank everyone who has tried to make the Enterprise my home. I came back from Star Base 11 to find that Uhura had redone my bedroom from Brig gray to something wonderful. I thanked her but realized she did not do this on her own. Actually I did a really sucky job at thanking her so thanks, Uhura," Kate finds Uhura smiling from her seat at communications. Jim sinks back in his seat waiting for her to continue. "I also want to thank maintenance for painting the walls a lovely shade of lilac. I love it, but I am pretty sure it makes my dad cringes every time he enters the room. Might even help keep him out and give me some privacy." Kate hopes the snickers from the bridge are happening in the other departments. She knows everyone caught the Dad reference. She doesn't feel he is her Dad, but politics and lies go hand in hand. This small white lie could go a long way to making her life easier. "I want to thank everyone that helped carry the copious amounts of furniture and bags and boxes to Room 121. In addition, I want to thank everyone who worked over time or covered shifts to make it perfect." Around the ship, people are thinking this impromptu speech is ending. Little do they know the thank you was just the introduction.

"Now to the apologies," Kate begins causing Jim to give her a surprised stare then smile. Kate returns his smile taking a deep breath before continuing. "Some are very clear. I would like to say sorry to Bones and John O'Neill for breaking their noses. The entire security department gets a huge I'm sorry for having to be on a perpetual red alert since I have arrived. Specifically Jack and Dawson... I will find you later, but I am sorry. The biggest I'm sorry goes to maintenance. Why you did what you did for me today I will never know. You have repaired a swath of destruction in my wake since five minutes after my arrival. Hopefully, this apology will convince you to take down the dart board with my picture on it." Kate licks her lips before finishing the last of her speech. "You may think you know how hard this has been for me but multiply it by a thousand. It doesn't excuse what I have done but is the reason behind all of it. That's all I have to say. If I missed anyone, I am sorry. Thank you." Kate turns to Uhura. "Is this off yet," Kate's voice continues to echo through the ship until Uhura cuts the comm.

Kate stands in uneasy silence as everyone continues to stare at her. Clearly, Kate's plan was just to get to the comm. Her posture and the fact she is biting her lip nervously tells Jim she jumped in without a plan for getting out. He gives her a thumbs up which Kate returns with an eye roll. She did not do this for accolades. She did this because it was the right thing to do. Jim motions for her to come to him with a rolling of his hand. As she slowly approaches him, Jim leans forward resting his arms on his knees clasping his hands. "Kate you surprised me," he smiles softly.

Kate feels her cheeks go red. "Why because I am not actually from under a rock," she idly plays with a lock of hair feigning disinterest. Why Kirk is making such a big deal about a simple thank you and I'm sorry frustrates her.

For all her boldness and sass, Jim finds Kate doesn't like the limelight after the fact. She jumps in without thinking but has no idea what to do once her impulsive move is over. She squirms staring at everything and anything but him. She may not like it, but Jim needs for Kate to know how he feels. "No because you thanked all those that helped you and apologized for the things you have done wrong. I'm proud of you. VERY proud of you," he stresses very taking her hands. His praise of her turns Kate redder than he has ever seen. "Hey, I mean it," Kirk makes her look at him. Things have been very rough between them with few moments he can give her praise. Kirk wants to make sure she knows he sees the side of her Kate is trying to hide. The caring, respectful side that is buried deep under false cynicism of the universe.

Kate's face lights briefly from his praise before something internal extinguishes it like water on a flame. "Whatever," Kate blows off his comment walking off the bridge. She hopes he reads her response as indifference and not the embarrassment she is feeling.

"Kate come here for a minute please," Kirk calls her back as she reaches for the turbo button.

She was so close to escaping. Kate doesn't want him or anyone else to see how much she likes them. Following the formula that has always worked Kate groans loudly attempting to place her self-consciousness with anger. If she can make him angry enough he will remover her from the bridge ending the parental pep-talk. "What," she almost yells comes back. "I knew I should have done this on Chekov's shift."

Her distress at showing her true nature is not missed by Kirk. He needs to bring the sweet, respectful girl out from her moody pre-teen cocoon. Gaining a small measure of privacy, he motions for her to follow him to the view screen. A disgruntled 'ughhh' echoes loudly in the silence of the bridge. Jim knows her actions are all for show. That she is attempting to push him away but he will not let that happen. Kate is desperately homesick. Jim can't take her home but he may have a way to help. "See all those stars," he stands looking out the view port at the vastness of space.

Kate knows a lecture is coming. All adults get this way when they attempt to make kids feel the understand them. Kate doesn't want Jim to understand her. She just wants to go home. "Oh please do not get sentimental and mushy. Not here okay. I get it you are happy and proud," Kate sneaks a look over she shoulder. The bridge staff has went back to their duties but Kate is not taking any chances.

Jim ignores her snippy comments. "Somewhere out there is Sky River's stars showing you the way home. We may not be able to see it but it is there." This is not the conversation Kate is prepared for. She hides her face by looking down. Jim tilts her chin up until their eyes meet. She bites her lip to hide her emotions. "You will never be lost or alone if you just find a light. When Sky River light touches the Milky Way, and I can assure you it does, it shows we are all connected." Kate fights back her tears trying not to cry. She hates it when he is nice and caring. "Han and Leia's love and mine for you is in that light. As long as there are stars in the sky you will never be alone again. I promise."

He doesn't try to hold or kiss her. He stands proud and tall next to her waiting. She has to say something to change the topic before she starts to cry. "So do you really hate the lilac that much," she comes up with a topic so far off from the one they need to talk about it is laughable.

Jim drops his head snickering. Kate was raised by strangers but is so much like him. His carefully groomed lackadaisical persona hides his true insecurities. Where Kate hides behind humor and anger, he hides behind humor and recklessness. "No. I am not fond of it but as long as your happy that's all that matters," Jim gives her a side glance with his charming half smile.

"Can we paint the living room Pepto-Bismol pink," she fakes an overly happy smile baiting him.

"Stay in your own room. It is my quarters as you so commonly point out. When you start calling it our quarters we can talk," he teases gruffly with a frown. Kate slides an arm around his waist embracing him in a side hug. When she is home these are the moments she will remember: When they were just Jim and Kate having a good time with each other. "You hungry," he wraps an arm around her. Kate's stomach rumbles loudly signaling she is. "Come on. Let's go stuff ourselves with burgers and fries. Mr. Chekov you have the conn. Have a great night ladies and gentlemen," Kirk announces as the shift slides seamlessly from Alpha to Beta. Dinner was filled with jokes and laughter as they ate with the McCoy's and the O'Neills. Thankfully, everyone had the good manners not to bring up her thank you speech. Before she is ready, they are heading back to their quarters.

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DENEVA MINING CORPORATION HEADQUARTERS DENEVA

Sam Kirk stares at the communique connecting the dots. As divisional manager of Section 31 for the Beta Quadrant, Sam Kirk is never short of work. For Aaron Wagner to forward this information to him, the job must have been an utter failure. Aaron Wagner is damn good at his job being the divisional manager for Section 31 of the Alpha Quadrant, yet here he is asking Sam Kirk for help. For days, reports of a mysterious group of aliens with extraordinary powers have leaked into his office. With no hard evidence and it not being in his territory, Sam Kirk placed it on the backburner. He knew Section 31 was planning to apprehend the aliens. He cared less about the operation until Aaron Wagner's message of 'does your brother have any illegitimate children?' instantly causes the pot to be placed front and center on the stove. After two days of digging around, Sam found out Jim indeed had claimed some female as his offspring. If he had a normal relationship with his brother, Sam Kirk would have placed a call and sent congratulations. Unfortunately, the Kirk's are not a normal family. Sam blew the information off as Jim finally getting nailed by one of his ex-lover one-night stands. The only thing up to now that surprised him was that it took this long for Jim to be paying child support. His surprise turned to stupefaction when the report came through that Komack authorized Jane Doe be abducted from the Enterprise on the grounds Kirk was not her father. Since Admiral Marcus' death, Komack had been trying to fill his seat in Section 31. Few things Jim and Sam agree on but both men don't trust James Komack as far as they can throw him. It was easy gaining the official birth certificate claiming a Katherine Kirk was the child of Captain James T Kirk and Lt. Commander Lauren S. Kirk. The difficult part was finding an image of the child. Numerous pictures of a blonde haired, green-eyed girl litter his PADD, but images are easily faked. Sam Kirk needs hard proof that the girl in the picture is actually Jim's daughter. The reason Sam Kirk's teams are so effective is that they only accept first source information as fact. Anything else is pure conjuncture to him. Exhaling loudly Sam Kirk places a comm call to the USS Enterprise.

Several minutes later, Ashlea Flanigan, Sam Kirk's secretary announces the comm is open. "Jim, Congrats. I just heard the news. Never thought my baby brother would take the plunge. How is fatherhood going?" Sam Kirk's tone is cheerful with a hint of sarcasm. Anything less would set off red flags. He and Jim speak once a year at the holidays. Jim calls to wish his nephews Merry Christmas or Aurelan Kirk demands Sam place the comm to wish Jim a Happy New Year.

"Shocking to me too," Jim admits. "It's going to be hard but hell if you can do it and are never home there is hope for me." Empty silence fills the line. Aside from having the same last name, the Kirk brothers have nothing in common.

Sam Kirk approaches the situation as he does any target on a mission: Direct and to the point. "Well, the boys can't wait to meet Kate. Tell me can you send a picture. We are dying to see what she looks like. Tell me did she get the famous baby blues of her father or the evil green of her mother."

At least this part of the conversation feels normal to Jim. Lauren and Sam had a love –hate relationship without the love. It started out rocky but after she left Jim, the first time for Star Fleet, Sam disowned her. It took everything Jim had to get Sam to come to the wedding. His brother and wife developed an uneasy truce when together. Superficial niceties were exchanged in conversations only as deep as "How is the weather in California?" The two were just beginning to thaw when Lauren went AWOL on Risa. Jim has never admitted it, but it felt good to have Sam blindly take his side. He was one of the few who did not find fault in Jim for his wife's disappearance. "Lauren was never evil. Just maddening sometimes like now but I won't get into that," Jim shuts the topic down. Sam has every right to hate Lauren, but she is the mother of his child and his wife. For some unknown reason, Jim can't let his brother bash her.

"Any chance my wonderful sister- in-law might be around and you don't know it? Did she come with the kid?" Sam allows thick sarcasm to coat his words. Anything less would be unnatural. Over the years, Sam has spent considerable time and resources continuing to track down Lauren Kirk. It has been his life mission to find her: Not out of love or concern but because how effectively she dropped off the universe. Even dead people on backwater worlds leave a trace if you have enough resources to find them, and Sam Kirk has the best resources in the galaxy. Over the years, he has imagined meeting her. Depending on his mood that day, Sam has gone from offering her a job to killing her on the spot.

"Does it matter?" Sam's interest in Lauren rankles Kirk. Kate may open a new chapter for him and his family to mend, but Jim can't forget the pain of the past. His gut tells him Sam's call is not all brotherly in nature. "Why are you interested in my private life suddenly, change of heart," Jim's words are serious, but he keeps his tone playful and light. Part of Kirk wishes the call contained a visual of his brother. Not reading Sam's body language as he speaks denies Jim a piece of the puzzle.

Sam Kirk tenses his body in frustration. He wants to rant and rave demanding the information but must play nice. "You are my brother. I love you. We are not getting any younger and like it or not we are a family. Is it a crime for me to be interested in my niece," Sam asks. He lets a degree of annoyance fill his words. This is about the time things go downhill in their conversations. "I am only asking for a picture Jim not custody." Sam's words were chosen carefully. Jim thinks he is a mining executive on Deneva not the head of Section 31 for the Beta quadrant. With the recent kidnap attempt, Sam hopes Jim might open up unknowingly with an offhand remark he can exploit.

"So how are my nephews," Jim changes the topic. In the private sector, Sam Kirk is a powerful man but Jim knows there is nothing he can do to help the situation in Star Fleet. "Peter still playing ball? You in the little league championships again?" Jim may have little use for his brother but has followed his nephews achievements over the years. Sam may be a shitty brother, but he is a good father.

"I will swap you a picture of Peter with the MVP trophy for one of Kate," Sam tries again. In about thirty seconds, the gloves are coming off. Sam has spent an excessive amount of time trying to get a picture of his niece from his brother. It takes less time to get one of the Klingon high council.

"I'll send a picture once I can get one," Jim's instincts tell him Sam is up to something. This is the third time in four minutes he has asked for a picture.

"You haven't taken a picture yet? You suck at the Dad thing. Just take one now. Doesn't have to be great. Aurelan is all over me and I was out all night playing poker. It would sure smooth things over for me at home." Sam is done with the pleasantries.

"She is in school and I need a camera. How many pictures do you take Sam? Photos and selfies are really not guy things," Jim leans back in his chair looking at the image of Kate on his desk. Sam may have been interested in saying congratulations, but the real purpose of the call was to get a picture. Kirk needs to know why.

"Jim use your damn phone. Doesn't need to be a glamor shot," Sam's volume increases as his frustration grows. The silence on the phone makes Sam play his last card. "Fine," Sam lets defeat fill his voice. "Mom found out you have a kid. She is thrilled to hear she has a granddaughter; however she won't call you. She is all over my ass and I have enough baggage with her that I don't need yours added. Send me a damn picture so she will stop calling me. Better yet," Sam starts to pace his office. "Call her and send one yourself. She is your mother too."

"Pushy," Jim jokes sending an image of Kate at his side with her face partially hidden by her blonde hair. The image confirms what Sam Kirk needs to know. Kate Kirk is Section 31's Jane Doe. She is connected to the aliens Section 31 wants. Sam's life has instantly grown extremely complicated. His niece is NOT going to be part of a Section 31 operation. The minute the picture confirmed she was a Kirk, Kate received the gift of having the devil himself for an Uncle. Operation Akvan is over. No one will touch her without his direct approval. Sam Kirk will make sure of it.

When Jim gets no reply from the sent image he checks to make sure Sam is still on the line? It wouldn't surprise him if Sam hung up after getting what he wanted. The small part of him that is Jimmy Kirk prays he is still on the line. James Kirk may need no one but Jimmy Kirk longs for the family he never had. "Well, what do you think of my princess? She has my hair, Lauren's eyes and the Kirk propensity for getting into trouble."

"She's adorable," Sam says curtly. He doesn't have time now to shoot the shit with his brother. A single image has just ignited a raging fire within Section 31 and Sam Kirk needs to play fireman. "Hey Jim I got a meeting in five minutes. Can we talk later? Maybe actually see each other more than one a decade."

"Sure thing," Jim fights to keep the disappointment from his voice.

"Take care Jim," Sam abruptly ends to call throwing the comm on his desk. He takes the next five minutes to collect his thoughts before calling the Administer. "Aaron it's Sam. Confirmation was received."

"I am sorry," Aaron Wagner says from across the galaxy.

Wagner's tone indicates he is not going to call off the mission. Sam gets rigid in his seat. "You will be if Operation Akvan is not terminated. Do not test me. We both know what I am capable of. She is family and I will take personal control of her case. I am prepared to burn anyone or thing that attempts to touch her to the ground. I have done it before with less emotional involvement to a case. This is your first and only warning. Are you prepared to start a war with me?" Sam never yelled or raised his voice but the calm way his spoke sends chills through Wagner.

"I lost Arden Koerner and his entire team. You can't expect my family to be hit and not retaliate," Wagner holds his ground.

"No I expect you to handle anyone not named Kirk. If she is touched by anyone other than me or my family I will wipe yours from the universe."

"Fine she is yours," Wagner rubs the back of his neck. Few people scared him, but Sam Kirk is the scariest man he ever met. "I am having enough trouble getting the adults. No one wants to deal with a preteen. Good luck." Wagner says into a dead air. As soon as Sam Kirk received confirmation Wagner knew the score he had hung up.

"Kowalski…we have a problem," he says into the office comm.

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