A/N: Don't own TBBT

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Chapter 14

While Sheldon was glad for a reprieve from Priya and he enjoyed the, so called, trash talk, he had found himself in an unnerving situation. He was unsure what was causing him the most discomfort - how close Amy was getting to him, or the questions being asked by Penny. Certainly they didn't actually expect him to disclose his personal experiences with them. The only thing worse would be if they decided to share their own.

Sheldon offered a condensed version of his personal interactions. He felt no need to explain Jenny or Tanja, there really wasn't much to speak of anyhow. Oliva/Cera, well that definitely wasn't going to be discussed, a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell. Beverly, well he didn't want to relive that at all. It was distressing to watch one so logical and brilliant give into a physical urge. It was even worse when said woman, whom you admired and considered a surrogate mother, turned that on you. He shuddered at the thought. Considering the one and only time had shared or been curious enough to ask after the personal affairs of another had extended into quite a complicated endeavor, he was going to keep to himself.

Sheldon had lead Cera to the edge of Meemaw's property to 'walk off dinner' as Cera liked to do. He wasn't fond of it, but she recommended it as a physician, assuring him he would not burn or increase his risk for melanoma in under fifteen minutes of sun exposure in late afternoon. He was mulling over a topic which had plagued him for several days, but he needed Cera's…input on it. Because it was a sensitive issue and he could be rejected or even worse, ridiculed, he felt reluctant to bring it up. He took a deep breath, reminded himself that there was no discovery where new knowledge was not pursued, and spoke.

"Olivia, I have given some consideration to your suggestion, and I believe planning coitus would be beneficial for us."

"HUH? I didn't suggest THAT!"

"You most certainly did. Three weeks ago, when we were returning from the comic book store in Webster."

"I was merely giving an explanation! I wasn't try to encourage you to...to..." Sheldon propositioning her had caused Cera to lose her grasp on the English language.

"While I realize you didn't specifically refer to me. It was an inspired idea. I did research then created a thorough and thoughtful proposal."

"REALLY…Really? But…why?"

"Well, not only am I curious, from a scientific point, of course. I have been informed it would be negligent of me to make a decision on such a basic bodily function without firsthand knowledge. There are also many benefits to engaging in coitus. There is an increase in prolactin for reduced stress and better sleep, increase blood flow, increase hormones, improve cardiovascular health, and increase neurogenesis." He didn't feel the need to add that even though he was no longer a teenager, he was falling victim to his hormones again. He felt that perhaps the best way to finally deal with said hormones, was to use them.

"I'm aware of that. You could take up exercise and adjust your diet for the same results, Sheldon."

"That's not entirely true. Many of these benefits are specific to coitus with a partner. Masturbation does not do as sufficient a job at say, reducing systolic blood pressure, or keeping your hormones in check as engaging with another."

"I, uh, ok." Cera had been propositioned before, but never in such a…logical, researched manner.

"You don't have to answer now. You may of course look over the research. The entire point of this endeavor is to plan and take the guess work out of coitus." Sheldon did hope she took him up on his offer. His…hormones seemed more curious the more he thought about it.

"Yeah, just uh, give it to me when I leave and I'll get back with you."

Sheldon had spent the last eleven days considering the discussion on interpersonal physical relations between the sexes. Olivia had not ridiculed him for his personal revelation of not being able to follow through, nor did she criticizes him for his weakness. Though years had passed since the incident, he still retained his curiosity and his body still tried to enslave him with hormones, even if he wasn't a teenager any longer.

Certain that he didn't want a relationship at this juncture, he thought perhaps this arrangement would be more beneficial to his future. Sheldon's priority was to prove string theory and win worldwide adulation, as it had always had been. Perhaps he would consider a pair-bonding after he won his Noble Prize. He was certain he would get a boost in his research as soon as he settled in at Caltech. With all of the equipment and the labs at his disposal, he was certain it would come quickly. It may take him a year, possibly two, to solidify his theory and then a few years of testing before he had verifiable success. At that point it would take a few years for his work to circulate and have a lasting impact, before the award. So between the ages of thirty and thirty-five he would consider whether or not he would like a family.

In the interim, he did have a strong curiosity where sexual congress was concerned. The most logical way of obtaining full knowledge in any subject was to gain as full exposure as was possible. To do so would mean to engage in coitus. It would be done merely for the purpose of erudition of course. He disliked lacking in knowledge where others were informed or even excelled. Especially his brother Junior. He didn't believe Junior's assertion that he was not a man because he had yet to lose his virginity, but he did acknowledge a lack of sensory information on a basic biological function. A function that seemed to want to satisfy itself even while he slept.

Unfortunately, his cerebral cortex decided to involve Cera in this biological function. He reasoned it was only because she was the only female he wasn't related to that ever engaged him socially for any length of time, but subconsciously he knew it was more than that. She was attractive, very hygienic, and not seeking a romantic attachment. After careful consideration and research he came up with the only logical conclusion. He was anxious to know her thought on his proposal.

Later that evening, as Cera looked through four pages of a very thorough coitus proposal, she was amazed at the extent of his planning. The positive effects of intercourse were listed in full. In both medical and layperson terminology, though who the simplistic terms were for she didn't know.

He insisted they both undergo full health screenings. Not just for STDs that neither one of them would have, but throat cultures, full chemistry panel, and a urinalysis. He also encouraged her to see a gynecologist and start an oral contraceptive. They would wait the full month of course until that was effective before engaging. Apparently, Sheldon had read that latex prophylactic reduced the sensation and didn't want to detract from the experience.

Sheldon had also detailed a cleansing regime for Cera, using an antibacterial soap of his choosing which he would oversee. The location would be her apartment, since she lived alone. The apartment would be clean to specifications he had listed, especially the bedroom. With freshly laundered sheets (with bleach) on her bed that had been vacuumed.

There was very little left to chance in his proposal. He even outlined acceptable sexual conduct and things he was opposed to. This was quite a bit of work to have sex one time. She was wondering why she didn't just say no.

She'd like to say she never thought of Sheldon in such a manner. And she had not, not intentionally, anyway. The beginnings of sleep when one has little control over their mind however, he seemed to be becoming more prominent. He was the best friend she'd ever had without qualifying as a near family member. She occasionally thought dating would be a good remedy for that dilemma- if she had time or the inclination to do so.

After several minutes of discussing mundane daily events, Cera finally brought up Sheldon's proposal.

"While I'm, uh, grateful for the…uh, well thought out offer. There are just many, many reasons why this would not be a good idea."

"Of course it's a good idea. I've thoroughly investigated and controlled every variable. Unless there is something I'm overlooking."

"Well, For starters, women do not typically enjoy their first time having sex." why she continued to justify her reasons for 'no' without ever forming the word, she wasn't certain.

Sheldon thought on that quickly. While he was concerned for the exchange of bodily fluids, he was confident enough in the preparation he had planned that he could possibly suffer through coitus more than once. He just hoped that the benefits peddled were worth the work and the hazard. "That is a valid concern. We can make an alteration to the plans so that you may also benefit from this encounter. I think three attempts should be sufficient."

Cera spent at least a minute imitating a fish out of water before gather her wits to speak. "That, that was not a counter proposal to increase sexual contact."

"No? Then what were you attempting to convey with that bit of information?"

"Just...a reason...that...this idea is flawed."

"I beg to differ. As I have stated, this has been thoroughly thought out and researched. Individuals who are well acquainted with each other frequently engage each other in a physical nature. Often for much longer periods than I'm suggesting, without the well documented parameters. What we have is a temporary arrangement that allows for us to explore ourselves in a comfortable and fully controlled setting."

"I...got nothin'." Cera drawled in an unfamiliar tone and fell silent.

Sheldon looked at his phone to see if she was still on the line. "Hello? Is that a no?"

Cera heaved a deep breath, "That's a no. This would not be good for our current level of association. It's an emotional act that causes people to grow closer or farther apart. I don't believe we could handle either one of those."

"It's a physical act. You yourself said emotion was poor cause for coitus. Because two people that trust each other plan to, in a controlled, sanitary setting, is a good solution to prevent such an occasion. I couldn't imagine finding another woman I favor as much as you. You are exceptionally hygienic and trustworthy."

She contemplated Sheldon's idea as if she had just heard it for the first time. It felt odd treating sex like an experiment. But it seemed no worse and possibly safer than deciding on sex because of the alcohol in one's system, or because one experiences butterflies in their stomach, or the look of someone across a room. Her biggest reason for saying no, was the one thing she was trying to avoid. Emotions. While she wanted some emotional attachment to one whom she was so intimate, she wasn't looking for love and definitely not to be hurt. She knew what her emotions were concerning Sheldon. She enjoyed his company, cared for him and even trusted him. She was honored that he thought so highly of her, even it was in basic terms concerning loyalty and hygiene. While she realized there was no way to prevent having feelings, she could prevent expressing them. It was in the expression was what left you vulnerable to be hurt. This arrangement seemed clinical enough to prevent such things. She would have to think on it more. However, before her mind had given her mouth permission, out slipped "Yes."

"Good. You will need to make the proper appointments for testing and an oral contraceptive. I will do the same. Upon receiving results we can exchange a plan an acceptable time. Would you be agreeable to formalizing this agreement? It would be best if we left no room for errors or compromise the activity."

"The testing I approve of and will do, soon. But, I'm not comfortable signing a paper about sex, Sheldon. That's a bit too much like a professional arrangement."

After a thought, "That is understandable. You can forego signing, but do stay contentious to the terms of our agreement."

"Of course I will Sheldon."

"Excellent, it's been delightful speaking to you Olivia. Good-Bye."

Sheldon's distraction had cost him. He had spoken while his mind was in the past. It was quiet easy to brag on one's knowledge and abilities, but because such mindless speaking, he now found himself being herded to a dancehall…

While Cera changed, Howard took this time to look around her home. The entire level was hardwood, with well-placed rugs in the living and dining areas. The living room was open all the way through the dining room into the kitchen. The only thing breaking the space was the large red sectional sofa. Her TV was below a high window on the same wall as the door he entered through. It didn't look as though she had decorated much, but there were several photographs of her and a young brunette girl at varying ages. He assumed this was the daughter he had heard about from Bernadette, who had in turn, gotten that information from Penny.

Howard was just finishing up his perusal of his surroundings when Cera returned with her hair down, wearing a pair of yoga shorts and a t-shirt that said 'That's what SHE-RA said!' over the image of The Princess of Power, and clutching a box. "You have to promise me, PROMISE ME, that this information does not leave this house."

Howard was feeling vindicated in his suspicions of Cera, by her insistence of confidentiality, but becoming concerned that perhaps this was going to be more than he could handle.

"Yeah, yeah, of course."

"Howard Joel Wolowitz! You promise me, you will sit on this information until such a time as I deem it acceptable for you to expose any of the information here and then, and only then, to only individuals I have approved." Cera said in a stern voice lacking any whimsy or drawl that he would typically associate with her. As he gaped at her tone and use of his full name she smirked and said, "You're not the only one that knows how to use a computer."

"Oh, uh, absolutely. You have my word." He really didn't want to cross any woman that had accomplished that level of mom voice. Sure Bernie could be intimidating, but this woman sounded like she had some real maternal follow through behind her, like his own mother.

"Ok." She said in a softer tone as she sat down next to Howard to rifle through her box.

"In the fall of 1996, my parents were touring with…I don't remember…The Band…maybe, anyway, some classic rock-ish band. My older brother and I were touring with them at the time…" Cera explained the circumstances of her and her brother's presence in Europe and their trip to audit a lecture in Heidelberg. When she drew to the end she handed him a photo and noticed her eyes were glistening with unshed tears.

The photo was obviously a print from film. A girl adorned all in black beside what looked like a much shorter, much younger Sheldon. He was in a dress shirt and obviously uncomfortable though he was smiling. He flipped it over and read, Me and Sheldon Nov. 96. Underneath Sheldon's name she had written Nobel Laureate.

Being Leonard's friend initially and coming to know Sheldon as an attachment to him, Howard hadn't really considered his brilliance much. Having his ego and insanity constantly thrown in his face made it even easier to discount. Suddenly seeing that two highly intelligent siblings were inspired by, and confident in his abilities, even as teens, was stunning.

Even more interesting was this chick's chosen style at the time. "What's with the goth get up? You look like, well I don't know what you look like, but it isn't like you."

"It was my way of grieving my brother and acknowledging that life wouldn't be the same."

"OK. So did something happen in all the letters, I'm sure you and Sheldon wrote?"

"No and we really didn't write all that many. Seven. I wrote seven, he wrote eight. I dropped the ball; med school was kicking my butt at the time."

"Ok, so explain Texas to me then." Howard pressed.

"First you need to know who and why I was…I was different then. I became 'Liv' when my brother died. The rest was a slower change, but one I desperately felt I needed. So, I applied to several pediatric hospitals for my post-grad internship. I wanted to move out of state. I was in a toxic relationship at the time. One that my crazy mom had encouraged. And the rest of my family was this… dysfunctional…entity. I needed out. So at the end of my junior year of med-school I started putting out feelers for anywhere else."

"You were attending Duke at the time, right?"

"Yea, It wasn't the best school for pediatrics. But it was number…six, I believe, and it was in state, where we lived at the time. Mom was from North Carolina so all of her family was close by, even if she wasn't. I mean we spent more time in Santa Monica and it's what I consider home, but neither of my parents are from here or have family around."

"Oh, I get it, Ma nearly died when I said I was moving to Massachusetts for school."

"But I bet it felt good, huh? I was accepted by four different hospitals, one of which was Texas. I think one of the other hospital was in Illinois or something and I don't do cold. I wanted to stay in the south. So that was a plus. Mostly I needed some space, out from under mom. She was dramatic, demanding. She had this disjointed view on romance, we all had to suffer through, including herself. My parents were in some sort of open marriage. They loved each other desperately. I honestly believe that, but they left room to; I wanna say play, but that's not right because mom is a…hopeless romantic. She was always ecstatically in love or depressed over love lost. Dad's was much the same, though not as extreme. I can't even sat they were sex obsessed, though I'm sure they were, but it was like they were obsessed with infatuation.

"It improved after my brother, Galen, died. My parents became a very solid unit after that, but mom was still very...overly romantic. She believes 'you're no one if someone doesn't love you.' She always pushed me to date. Not just date but 'connect.' She'd give me reasons to gloss over bad stuff in relationships just to 'hang on to my man', not that there were many. I didn't want to be like her. I didn't want to be chasing the next 'man of my dreams' that left me messed up.

"After I accepted the opportunity from Texas Children's Hospital, just to solidify my decision, the relationship I mentioned earlier, just went from weird to weirder. I started dating Tyler, when I was nineteen. He was a friend of my best friend's boyfriend at the time. He worked as a driver for a pharmaceutical company. He lived with his brother and sister-in-law. The brother's business suddenly moved so he need a place to crash while he looked for a new place. We had only been dating about a month and it was not yet physical, so I offered my couch.

"Six months later he was still there. I was in love with him. It was the type of love that required a lot of work. Protecting his ego, since I was obviously accomplishing more than him and overlooking things that really bugged me. And because I loved him, I wanted too. It was very…taxing though. He was resentful of time I spent working on my AI and clinicals, and electives. One day I came in from classes to find him in flagrante delicto with some chick. He was desperately sorry and wanted to stay together-not happening. And mother, dear romantic that she was thought I should forgive him since I loved him and that perhaps it was my fault for not 'loving him thoroughly.' Which really just meant I should, you know, sleep with him. I was hurt, that he thought so little of me, I was replaceable-physically anyway. I was hurt and pissed that my own mom didn't support me and then placed the blame on me.

"At this point I decided to veer off from being like my mother. I ditched Tyler. I had a nice big fight with my mom where I insinuated she was a stupid, hopeless romantic whose life had no basis in reality and that I hated being related to her, amongst other very nasty things. Since I was a small child my identity had been wrapped up in my mother and been pushed into being her imitation and this was my break from that. I chopped off my hair and dyed myself a lovely shade of Clairol's Cinnamon Stick and decided to wash my hands of their unstable dribble and left to live a far more stable, rational life far, far away from there. I turned off all music, put away instruments, and any form of expression I deemed useless. I then did everything I could to present to the world a mature doctor. Every outfit I wore, every accessory I donned from my dress suits to my unnecessary glasses was to age me and present a confident, experienced physician.

"Not imitating my overly expressive mother probably saved me at the beginning of my internship because it is emotionally draining and if you don't have a grip you're gonna crack. I at times envied the other residents their age. In just a few years they had more maturity and life experience I did not. You learn things in advance all you want, but you cannot rush wisdom.

"He was my reprieve from the insanity that was my internship. He was always logical in helping me deal with grief and being overwhelmed. It was still hard, and at times when it would get hard, Sheldon would talk me through it. Because I was so resistant to being emotional, I was having panic attacks then. He was a very accommodating the few times I lost patients."

"Sheldon?"

"Yea. Once we started hanging out, he was a great help. There were occasions I would even call from the hospital and get him to talk me through anguish over hard patients. He would have me take deep breaths, separate emotion from logic and have me answer questions like 'Did you follow procedure?' 'Was there more you could have done?' Usually I had done all I could and he would tell me I should be able to push beyond the grief, anger, uncertainty and perform my job. He was very logical and helped me get out of my head."

Howard was stunned at the thought of a supportive Sheldon. And a Sheldon that could get a girl to practice the Vulcan ritual to achieve emotional stability. "He had you practicing…Kolinahr?"

"Maybe? I don't remember what he called it. It worked, whatever it was."

Howard found this interesting, but it wasn't really clarifying anything. "Ok, so, how did you start hanging out with him exactly?"

"Oh, well, I was in this steak house in Houston, with some coworkers one day…" Cera went on to explain his mom reintroducing her to Sheldon. She spoke of movie outings, meals, pool games, putt-putt, bowling and dinner with Meemaw and the family. Reminiscing on memories she usually didn't want to recall left her teary eyed, but holding it together. They really had enjoyed each other's company.

"So," started Howard, "You knew Missy, Huh?" wiggling his eyebrows, "Did you two ever have a slumber party?"

Cera was pulled out of her reflective thoughts with this ridiculous question. "No, I never had a slumber party with Missy. We didn't really hang out that much. To her I'm sure I was just Sheldon's…peer who he…held in high regard and…benefited from mutual assistance."

"You mean his…friend."

"You would think."

"Ok…so you didn't make it on the friend list. What's the problem? I'm just a treasured acquaintance with only a master's degree. This really isn't explaining anything."

"No, it doesn't, but it's a start."