Chapter 4: Bow Ties are Cool
*Old New York, Earth*
"No, this isn't Cardiff! We need to refuel! You know, you aggravate me sometimes."
The TARDIS whirred in response.
"Oh, you don't say! But why here? Why an alien planet? What is so special about this place that we need to be here right now?"
It whirred again.
"Fixed points in all the universes are being altered, coming from this one? You didn't think to tell me that earlier?"
Whirr
"Whatever. Clara, you can come out now!"
"You talking to your phone box again, Doctor?"
As the two time travelers were taking a far deadlier threat came from above.
"Is that a spaceship?"
"Of course it is, dummy."
"I'm not a dummy. I'm clever. More clever than those raptors in that one movie."
"Soo where are we?"
"Well Oswin, let's find out. Allons-y!" They stepped over a ridge to see four kinds of armies clashing in what looked like post-apocalyptic New York City. "Looks like they were going for a scenic view for this shot. More importantly, I have no idea what these races are. I hate not knowing."
"Then let's find out." Clara replied.
Doctor snapped out of his I-hate-not-knowing-face. "Yeah, let's meet them"
As the duo walked into the ever growing battle the threat of death never crossed their minds. It was only a war, and the last of Gallifrey had seen his fair share of them. What scared him was the lack of knowledge about the combatants.
"Hello! I'm the Doctor and you are…" as the doctor asked a robotic creature
It just made a Whiiiirrreeeer sound and curled up into a ball. It glowed with a bright orange light.
"Fascinating" he reached out to touch the robotic creature, then jerked his hand back. "Ow! Hot!" He used the sonic on the robot, and it groaned as it came out of its hot aura, and powered down. "Clara! This thing is heavy! Help me get it back to the TARDIS."
Meanwhile on the dreadnaught, Caboose randomly yelled "Potato! I'm going to sleep."
As the DMN was awake along with everyone on board was awake the DMN checked where they were headed.
"HANG ON TO SOMETHING HUNTERS! SPARTANS ACTIVATE GRAV BOOTS!"
Back on the ground, Doctor saw a ship coming in from the atmosphere. "Oh dear. Clara. Run!"
"Why is there always an extraordinary amount of running in your adventures?"
"I don't know, and I never will! To the park!"
As the Doctor managed to get to central park yet another crashed ship was on top of many statues, barely supported by the tall statues of 10 sad-looking angels.
"Clara."
"What? Oh no."
"Don't blink. Blink and you're dead."
You sure about that?A voice said from behind them. Don't try to turn around or I take you both.
"What do you want, Angel?"
We are stranded in this world. You, the Doctor, will free us.
"And let you wreak havoc back in my universe? No chance."
It is said that the Doctor cares about his companions. Would you like to test that?
"Oi! Don't threaten to kill me! I'll break your face! Don't think I won't!"
Meanwhile in the atmosphere…
"BRACE FOR IMPACT!" The dreadnaught slammed through a Cabal destroyer. A massive hole in the ship was produced. The Cabal crew members scrambled to shield the rest of the ship from being contaminated by Earth's air. Psions used their psychokinetic abilities to prevent such a thing from happening.
On the Cabal's bridge, the captain of the ship, Val Au'Tur'Aan was shouting orders in his native tongue to fix the problem. One of which could be loosely translated to: "An unidentified ship has entered the battlefield and has engaged! All available gunners, concentrate fire on that ship!" You could tell that he was angry.
The gunners bombarded the ship with hellfire and explosions. The UNSC dreadnaught lost its engines, shields, power, helm controls. The slipspace drives were already totaled so they weren't destroyed in the rain of projectiles. The ship crashed into the Empire State Building, turning the remains of the dreadnaught upside down.
"You don't have to do this you know…" the doctor reasoned. "You don't have to threaten my friend and damn yourself to my rage."
Well one thing still worked on the dreadnaught, the PA systems "You have arrived at your destination. Thank you for using the main capitol-dreadnaught. Now get the hell off me."
As the ship cashed into ten of the angels breaking them into pieces one trooper came out hovering above the last angel.
"Die engele!" LUNA shouted, and crashed down on the last angel, crushing its arms and legs.
"CANNONBALL! Watch out!" DMN landed on the rest of the angel, putting it out of its misery of disembodiment. The neutral-colored Spartan got up and commented "Well, that's one way to kill these mother-"
"Oi! Language!" Doctor yelled.
"Who are you anyway?" LUNA asked. "Wait, never mind. I already know the answer, Time Lord."
"Oh, so you've heard of me. Cool."
"I haven't just heard about you. I know a lot of stuff about you. Did you tell Clara about some of it?"
"So you know my name, too? Getting into stalker territory here."
"Did you tell her about K-9?"
"Oh, I miss that good dog. But how do you know about him, of all things?"
"Spoilers."
"You sound like-"
"River Song? Melody Pond? She has two names, remember?"
6501 got up. "So who is this guy?"
"I'm the Doctor. I'm a thousand years old, I'm from another universe, and I wear a bow tie. Bow ties are cool. What do you do?"
"I'm the DMN. I travel around the world picking, fights, killing aliens, starting and stopping wars. I have a badass Promethean arm."
"Never heard of the Prometheans so that doesn't mean much, and I have a phone box that can travel anywhere in time and space."
"So you are the Doctor." DMN said. "I can travel across time too. With Space and Time."
"What? What you just said doesn't even remotely make sense."
"Don't ask." LUNA said.
"Anyway, thanks for saving us. There are fixed points across every universe being altered and they all seem to be coming from this world"
"May I use your phone box to get Space and Time?"
"Oi! Don't touch her! She doesn't like strangers or people with guns."
"Ok Ill resolve one problem." the DMN threw his weapons to LUNA and Caboose with the finger lock engaged. While the DMN does this he pulled a holographic image of Space and Time.
"Oh! I thought you wanted to drain the TARDIS of its energy"
"Well according to my scans only 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% will be drained."
"So you think you're clever?"
"I'm clever and overly protective of my team. What's it to ya? I have a lot more weapons on me."
"How? There's no other place where they could be hidden. You're bluffing. Unless…" Doctor used the sonic on the Promethean arm.
Dozens of datacards started spewing out of DMN's shoulder.
"Stop this! Stop this now! Start catching them! Don't let them fly to far in the air."
Caboose was buried in a mound of cards. They then turned into a mound of ARs. "Freckles! Where are you?!"
"In your hand, you idiot."
"See what you did Doctor? My entire inventory is spewing out of my arm, and only 0.000000000000000000000000001% has been emptied! You idiot!"
"Oi! I am not an idiot!"
"Freckles!"
"Shut up Caboose! Use the reverse button! I don't care! Just put 'em back!"
The sonic whirred its copyrighted sound, and all the guns flew back into DMN's arm in datacard form. Not to soon the DMN was buried in a mound of cards which grew smaller within 1 minute or so…
A low hum was heard in the distance. Not much to be noticed, but something you could notice in the corner of your eye. No one paid any attention to it, for something else worth notice was on the way. Three vehicles that could be classified as speeder bikes came in much too close for comfort, especially the DMN. He was impaled by one of the bikes.
"Get off me!" he yelled to the rider. The rider, the Guardian stopped abruptly, and DMN flew right off the speeder and into a pile of dead Fallen. "This is just not our day. All right! Who the hell are you to think you can do that?!"
"We are the Guardians, and we are cocky as hell!" The one who had a cloak replied.
"Are you serious? You really had to say that?"
*Interruption, Unauthorized Edit Detected.*
"Well it's about time they met! I'll bring the popcorn!"
*No popcorn for me?*