Chapter 24

A/N: I don't own TBBT

Mary was enamored by Cera's family photos. Cera's hair was a few shades darker than her mothers, but their size and shape made them very similar. Mary paused the longest at a group shot from the early nineties that had both the twins. Mary recalled the loss of a son, though she no longer partook in that type of music, she recalled her love for the band and had prayed for them.

"We spent time in Europe then. That's how I came to meet Sheldon, in Germany, with Braden."

"Hmm, and here I thought I introduced you. He never mentioned that."

"We wrote letters for a while."

"You were the pen pal?" Mary shifted her attention from the photos, to Cera.

"That was me. Sheldon was part of the reason I picked Texas. Not that I thought to see him again, but because despite his grumblings, he made it sound…different, peaceful."

"The Lord works in wondrous ways."

"Yeah, we've talked about that before."

"And you've given me a beautiful granddaughter." Mary patted Cera's shoulder.

"The method and mother, I imagine you are dissatisfied with." Though Cera regretted Mary's feelings and getting herself hurt, she wouldn't change the time spent with Sheldon or that Merritt resulted from it.

"Well now, you were a bit of a know it all then, but I could see you were a patient and kind girl. You just had to grow out of some of that. Y'all sinnin', I definitely don't agree with. But Shelly was always gonna need a knock in the head, to get him to move forward in life. I'm just glad you were able to handle the blow.

"I am surprised Shelly thought far enough outside of a science or comic book to pursue such a thing." Mary caught Cera's surprised expression at her last statement. "Yeah, he told me, with a whole lot of words and beatin' around the bush, that experimentin' was his idea. I would've thought you were too smart for something like that, but your parents did run around 'lovin' on everybody, so maybe you thought it was ok."

Cera cringed at that summation of her family, "I'm gonna go see if Merritt and Meemaw need help. I'm sure Sheldon will be ready soon," excusing herself to the kitchen abruptly.

The family settled around the dining table after Cera returned with Sheldon.

"You should talk to Missy. She's worried, you know. I'll leave it to you to tell her how you're doin', though." Mary sat the green beans on the table, next to the rolls.

Sheldon merely grumbled at the mention of his twin.

"You mean Missy; your sister, my aunt?" Merritt bounced in her seat at the thought. Meemaw had told Merritt she prissed around, like her Aunt Missy, so she desperately wanted to meet her.

"Merritt, don't be nosy." Cera spooned mashed potatoes onto the girl's plate.

"Yes, honey, that's the one. She loves her brother, even if he don't ever bother to call her." Mary passed the fried chicken to Sheldon.

"Then you should talk to her, daddy. Can I talk to her, too?"

"I'm not sure this is-" Sheldon started.

"That's a good idea, Moonpie. Why don't you call her up on that video, computer phone." Meemaw patted his hand in encouragement.

Sheldon wanted to protest, but knew Meemaw wouldn't stand for it and as Merritt's primary male role model, he should set an example. Finally, he looked toward Cera as if she could save him, but all she did was raise her eyebrows and shrug.

"I suppose we could try that." Sheldon acquiesced, but followed up muttering, "Hopefully she's unavailable."

Having heard his murmuring, Merritt cocked her head and gave Sheldon a look that caused him a great deal of unease.

"Missy, I can assure you, I am fine."

"You worryin' momma and Meemaw half to death, and then makin' them travel is not fine. What's going on? Where are you?" Missy could see the unfamiliar background of Cera's home.

Sheldon looked up at the crowd on the other side of his laptop. Cera seemed to be restraining an excited Merritt. He wasn't sure how much of the situation Merritt was aware of, but Cera had told him he was not to allude coitus in front of her, in any way. He wished for the powers of Professor X at that moment, wanting to telepathically tell Cera to shield Merritt from the upcoming conversation.

As if those powers had worked, Cera nodded at him and ushered Merritt upstairs 'Just for a minute.' he heard her promise the girl. With the extra privacy, Mom and Meemaw came to his side.

"Momma, Meemaw, and, I are currently in Olivia Tollman's home."

"Liv Tollman? Little 'don't eat that,' 'I'm a physician,' Liv?"

"Yes."

"In California?"

"She hails from Santa Monica, but she currently lives in the city of Alhambra."

"Really? You hadn't mentioned her in years. And mom's there? Why?" Missy face was screwed up in confusion.

"She…We…have a…daughter." Sheldon was getting better at saying it, but he still couldn't look to the screen.

"Oh, my God, Sheldon!"

"Missy! Careful with The Lord's name." Mary's voice was heard off screen.

"Oh, sorry momma. Is this for real? No, Bazinga?" Missy search the screen for her mother, for confirmation.

"No. Oh, Merritt's a lovely girl. She wants to meet you." Mary came on screen to see her stunned daughter.

"Damnit! I owe Junior fifty bucks."

"Missy! Whatever for?" Mary eased in closer to Sheldon, who was beginning to twitch.

Missy burst out laughing. "He bet me fifty bucks, that's why that girl hung around so much. I told him no way. Not Sheldon…So you and Liv were…"

"You bet on me? But…but Junior knew!" Sheldon cried.

"He always does that to me! Bets me on stuff he already knows. Ya know, this explains why she called so much. She was starting to make me crazy, but I don't blame her…So this girl, Mary? How old is she?"

"Merritt," Sheldon corrected, "is nine and a half. I met her three weeks ago. She is currently upstairs, hoping to meet you. Missy, I insist you be nice and polite. And for goodness sake, use proper English."

Mary had called up the stairs for Merritt. She now stood on the other side her father's laptop with a big grin.

"Merritt, come meet your Aunt Missy." Mary gestured for her to approach Sheldon and the front of the laptop. She sat nearly on top of her dad and gave a bashful, "Hi."

Missy was stunned. Not only was there a definite family resemblance, but the proximity Sheldon allowed the small, brunette was amazing. It was a closeness Sheldon wouldn't even tolerate from her, his twin.

Missy was having the most interesting conversation with her niece when she noticed a long strand of dark blonde hair draped behind Sheldon and Merritt. The sandy lock was a bit perplexing until its owner spoke.

"Hello, Missy." Cera flashed a small smile to the laptop.

"Uh, Liv?" Missy got a better view of her when Sheldon re-angled the laptop. This woman was not the girl, posing as a responsible adult that use to hang out with her brother.

"It's still me." Cera smiled softly at Sheldon's sister. They had never been close, merely cordial, and very different.

"What…did you do?"

"Just…went natural. How are you, Missy?" Cera answered. This was the first person to actually have any interest in her this evening. Of course it would be from Sheldon's…whatever she was.

"I'm. I'm good. Surprised, but good." Junior was getting a phone call as soon as she was done Sheldon and his…family. But that's all she was giving him. No way was he getting cash for this.

"I'm glad you're well. Merritt is amazing isn't she?"

"She will be in sixth grade this coming school year." Sheldon couldn't help but brag on his daughter. Even if she wasn't as brilliant as he, she exceeded all the other children of her age.

"Didn't you say she was nine?" Missy questioned.

"I'm nine and a half." Merritt corrected.

Missy couldn't help, but laugh. Definitely Sheldon's kid.

"Alright baby, it's time for bed." Cera gestured to the stairs after Sheldon disconnected with Missy.

"Can daddy tuck me in, tonight?" Merritt squeezed her mom and gave her a kiss before turning to Sheldon.

"Well, it just so happens that I know the optimal bedtime procedures, for an ideal REM sleep." Sheldon smirked as he stood to escort her upstairs. Though Sheldon was allowed to tuck her in, he still had to use Cera's procedure. Brushing teeth, a chapter of A Wrinkle in Time, check the night light, and finally tucked in.

"My boys got a bit of an ego." Mary had witnessed Cera's eye roll at Sheldon's antics.

"He is less modest than others, but he's hardly an egomaniac. Most of his assertions are true, after all."

Mary thought Cera might be delusional and gave her a skeptical look.

"I'm not saying he is without fault, I've merely grown up around people with...extreme confidence. His has more merit than most. Sometimes his knowledge is more theory then practice, and he should consider that before speaking, but he is very knowledgeable."

The difference between theory and practice was what concerned Mary. She thought Sheldon hadn't truly taken in the whole circumstance. Right now it was new and interesting to him. What happened when child-rearing wasn't just a form of entertainment and he actually had to be paternal? When Cera quit catering to his time and whims? When the woman actually wanted a man in her life? How would he handle such things?

"So, Liv, I know, in the past, your folks were kinda…casual when it came to relations. And clearly you didn't think commitment was necessary for sex. So, what I really want to know is what are you exposing my grandbaby to?" Mary was concerned that while Cera's parents' behavior was appealing and cool in the seventies, during her adolescence, it wasn't functional for a family.

"I'm not…like them. I, uh, I don't date much. I do have many male friends, some of them have been my best friends. On rare occasions, I do date. My last boyfriend was ten months ago."

"You're not having sleep overs in front of Merritt are you?" Mary gave Cera a pointed look and touched her shoulder in understanding; she had been a single mother for years, herself.

"Uh," Cera swallowed hard. She felt indignant at this line of question, but appreciated Mary's concern for Merritt. "I like the idea of a mate. But I've never…I've not ever really been with...anyone...else. And definitely wouldn't around Merritt. I really wasn't fond of my parents 'special friends, so I won't repeat that.'"

"Why not?" Slipped out before Sheldon could stop it. He caught the end of the conversation from the stairs and couldn't help but listen. Cera's behavior seemed odd to him, most of the women he knew carried on differently. Penny, Bernadette, even his sister had multiple partners. Even that shrew Leslie Winkle seemed to enjoy entertaining men. Amy had had none, but from what he understood it was due to her mother's influence, then her dedication to science, and now her own pickiness.

"Getting ring side seats to your parents' intimate moments is…confusing. Having those seats when they are paired with others is…damaging. I want to be with others. I'm just terrified, and anytime I get close, it stops me dead in my tracks. I just don't want to be confused…or hurt. The…physicality seems to create an emotional tie, I'm not sure I can handle the dissolution of again." Cera didn't want to answer, but deciding to always be honest and up front with Sheldon had forced it out of her. The answer felt awkward and embarrassing. Though she chose to be the opposite of her parents, she ended up just as damaged.

Sheldon had received a lot of information and most of it emotional. So he merely nodded in response and decided he would process it later.

Mary, sensing his unease, gave him an out. Though, she did think they should discuss this, overwhelming Sheldon would only make him shut down.

"Honey, now that Merritt's in bed we should probably go. We do have a flight in the mornin'." Ordinarily Mary didn't like traveling on Sunday, but when her son insisted she come and that he pay, she felt obligated.

After his mother and Meemaw's departure, Sheldon was attempting to get back to his status quo. Which was proving difficult when Leonard continued to hound him. Questions, comments, and disparaging remarks abounded.

"I just don't understand you. You have continuously berated every man you know, for their behavior, when you have actually knocked a girl up." Leonard smirked.

"Honestly Leonard, this topic is growing tiresome." Sheldon wasn't certain what Leonard hoped to gain from this conversation.

Leonard thought the other two guys would get a kick out Sheldon's hypocrisy and comeuppance.

"No, I get that, Leonard. But come on man, this could've happened to any of us. So just…lay off." Howard bit out instead of laughing.

"But come on, I mean, he's been such a prick about it. I mean the entire duration of my relationship with Priya I had to hear about my weaknesses, like he's too good to have baser urges."

Howard shifted his phone to the other ear. "You know how he is when things confuse him. Maybe his baser urges caused him illogical feelings, so he rejected the whole thing. None of it changes the fact that Sheldon is a dad. Look, Merritt's a good kid and Sheldon is…trying for her. Lighten up, OK?"

"Geeze, Howard, you act like an old family friend."

"I dunno about old, but I hope they consider me a friend. Bernie and Raj, too."

"So…everybody knew this, but me. His best friend and roommate?" Leonard sounded hurt.

"If it makes you feel any better, I've known longer than Sheldon."

"So you got all of this from…Karen? How? Why?"

"Cara." Howard corrected, "She was freaking Sheldon out, so I asked her. Surely, you noticed he was acting weird…er."

Leonard had felt bad he actually hadn't noticed. Anything that had been off with Sheldon, he had assumed was Sheldon's dislike for Priya. He certainly hadn't considered that Sheldon's problem was a foray into parenthood. Maybe he should talk to him. This was enough to terrify any man, let alone Dr. Scheduled and Planned.

"Yeah…well. Did you hear they are releasing a new Limited Edition Expansion Pack for Mystic Warlords of Ka'a?" Leonard shifted the conversation from his own shortcomings.

A neighbor, being far too familiar with Sheldon's front door, interrupted him from his white board not much later.

"So Amy called me last night. I imagine you know what she told me."

"Hello Penny. I could imagine any number of things Amy Farrah Fowler could have told you. I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific." Sheldon continued writing across his board.

"You finally told her about Merritt."

"Well, you should have stated as such. Yes. I did inform her of my newly discovered parenthood. As you were already aware of my association with Merritt, I'm not certain of the object of this conversation."

"Well you didn't tell her much and then you blew her off."

"I gave her as much information as I deemed was necessary. I informed her I had a prior engagement and I did not, as you say 'blow her off.''

"Well, I think she kinda wanted to understand your feelings from all this. She's kinda confused now."

"What's to be confused about? I engaged in coitus, conception occurred, I am Merritt's father…Merritt…I am you father. I like that." Sheldon gave a breathy laugh at his own joke.

"But how do you feel about any of them? All of them?"

"Feelings are fickle, and a poor basis for decisions."

"Feelings can let your head know you need to make a decision, or take action. Do you have feelings for Amy?"

"I admit I enjoy her company. She has a brilliant mind. She can be quiet humorous. Occasionally, I'm confused because I am unable to ascertain what she requires of me. I get the impression I am not providing it and I believe it may be because it is something that lies in the emotional realm."

"Ok, so you like her. Do you have feelings for Merritt? Do you love her?"

"That is two separate things. I do feel warm and happy with Merritt. I also love my daughter, but that was a decision, to commit to being unconditionally supportive of her. "

"Huh," Penny decide she might need to think more on that later. "What about Cera...Liv...whatever you call her?"

"I…have made no such commitment to her."

"But do you have feelings for her?"

"Not the same as they once were. At one time my feelings for her were a…physical sensation. Now it is admiration for raising Merritt. I did…and still do enjoy her presence. We enjoy many similar pastimes, though she is not as exuberant as she once was."

"Of course she's not, you hurt her pretty bad and left her to raise mini Cooper by herself. If you don't mind me asking, how did you end up becoming…not-friends with her?"

"Associating with Cera beat the heck out of staying at home, hanging out with Missy or Junior, or heaven forbid both. Momma was constantly encouraging to me to have acquaintances. She introduced me to many people; a majority were female. Cera was reasonably intelligent, it was convenient to have a physician around, and our previous liaison was beneficial. Over time she went from being a forced or convenient alliance, to someone whose opinion I desired and could share humor with."

Penny received a brief history of the association between Cera and Sheldon. Though she could tell he was with withholding personal facts and feelings, she found him to be surprisingly open. Imagining her whimsical friend, who had prompted her to know her own mind, being caught up in such a chaotic affair broke her heart. So in honor of her friend that prodded her with hard questions, she grilled Sheldon. Even if he didn't answer her, he had to think and make some decisions.

Between Penny and his mother, Sheldon had been bombarded with questions he didn't know how to answer. He wasn't sure what type of relationship he was going to be able to develop with Merritt. Whether it would be as a weekend father, a babysitter, or a full time dad. Much of that depended on the association he could cultivate with Cera. The only problem was, he didn't know what he wanted, or could even tolerate.

Sheldon would feel better if he had a schedule and a set of guidelines for interacting with Merritt. Perhaps Cera would appreciate him creating a detailed contract assuming some responsibilities for childcare. Not that he could assist with driving, or help her prepare for her school day, or even tuck her in. Sheldon decide a discussion was in order about how he could be involved in their lives.

It seemed as if the only respite from the turmoil in his mind was his scheduled time with Amy. She was surprised when Sheldon called, but not unpleased. He was more forthcoming with information this time. He explained that the arrangement leading to Merritt's conception was not romantic, but an experiment. He confessed to being unsure how he felt about it all, just yet.

It pleased Sheldon that Amy took an interest and wanted to meet Merritt. She had requested to run a scan to compare his cognitive and emotional processes to that of his daughter and to himself before being a father. Sheldon felt it wasn't wise to agree to that without consulting Cera first.

"Hello?" Sheldon had just arrived home from work and had yet to even close the door.

"Hey Sheldon. I hate to do this last minute, but could you care for Merritt this evening?"

"You should have planned and asked earlier, so that I could have scheduled this. It's Thursday and it's pizza night. The guys and I were going to play Red Dead Redemption." Sheldon wanted to help and have time with Merritt he just hadn't really planned on it this evening.

"I couldn't plan it, I've got to run to the hospital. You know what never mind. My parents are in, I'll just see if they don't mind coming out to get her." Feeling impatient with the situation, Cera came up with a solution and removed Sheldon from the equation.

"Yes, that's best. I don't mind doing you a favor, but next time if you let me know at least 48 hours in advance." Sheldon was confidant Cera would see his kind gesture for what it was. He really would help next time.

"Caring for your own child is a favor? To me?"

"Well...it not exactly part of my regularly scheduled duties. I've never cared for a child before…But I do see your point. I suppose she could be a positive addition to the evening. Though she has yet to meet Leonard, she is friendly with Howard and Raj."

"Ok, great. Can I drop her off in fifteen minutes? I don't know how long I will be. Hopefully only a few hours."

"That would be acceptable. Is she able to play Red Dead Redemption?"

"No, your games are too violent. She can bring a Lego game, though."

Sheldon wondered what he had gotten himself into.

When Cera arrived, in her scrubs, she greeted each of his friends with a hug, except for Leonard whom she patted tenderly and thanked for use of his apartment, again. Leonard chose that opportunity to make a joke about guests and the roommate agreement.

"Leonard, surely you are aware that my progeny would be granted automatic easement, unlike your many coital partners."

"Hey -" Leonard started.

"What is a -" Merritt had her mouth covered by her mother.

"That's enough of that. I will be back as soon as I can. I will call if anything changes. Let me know if you have any problems or questions." Cera ended the coital conversation.

Merritt's appetite was surprising to Sheldon. As was her excitement for the guys playing their game, though she seemed mostly interested in taming the horses. When she started hiding her eyes due to violence, Howard suggested they turn it off in favor of a tamer game. Cera called three hours later, to inform Sheldon it was going to be a late night, the crowd broke up.

Being shooed of the couch confused Leonard. "What are you doing?"

"It's my bedtime and I need to go to bed or in this case, couch."

"What about Merritt?"

"As a child she is in greater need of a sufficient REM sleep. Therefore I gave her my bed."

"Huh?" Leonard was surprised that his own progeny is what it took to get Sheldon to act normal.

Sheldon's front door opened to the familiar sight of an exhausted Cera. She always mustered a slight smile that never reached her eyes after an all-nighter. When they were younger, it seemed as though she always had long hours and late nights.

"Good morning, Olivia. Would you like some coffee?" While Sheldon hadn't achieved the REM sleep he was accustomed to, he didn't feel tired and had enjoyed his morning with Merritt. He was willing to make the laundry adjustments for providing her with a night shirt and sheets.

"Just a little, I only need enough to make it home. Did you have a good time, baby?" Cera shifted her attention to Merritt.

"Yeah! Daddy played this game with cowboys, and they had horses, and he shot everything. And I slept in daddy's bed. He let me wear the lantern shirt. But this morning he was having school, but it's summer so I don't wanna do hard math." Merritt blurted out quickly.

"What game was this?" Cera frowned.

"It was Red Dead Redemption, but I didn't let her play." Sheldon's eyes were wide, but cast down at his admission.

"It wasn't purely about playing. She didn't need to visualize that game."

"Howard suggested the same thing, but Merritt is advanced, so I thought she could handle it. I admit that may have been a miscalculation. It would explain the frequent awakenings throughout the night."

"Yes, that would do it…Go get your stuff doll…What type of math were you trying to teach her?"

"Oh, well, I tried to explain my work to her but she wasn't very attentive. She did do better than Penny, though. Are you certain she's advanced?" Sheldon gestured to his whiteboard.

"Of course I'm sure…and you are as well. Don't be so hasty to dismiss her, she may surprise you. Anyway, you need to get to work and I need some rest. Thank you for the coffee."

"You are very welcome…Olivia, if…if you are busy again…I did not find her burdensome. I would not be objectionable to helping in whatever way you need."

"Thank you, Sheldon." Cera nodded and followed Merritt out the door.

Throughout the day Sheldon considered Cera and his daughter. He had watched the woman more in the last few weeks than all the time they had spent together, before. She always enjoyed time with Merritt and was a wonderful mother. She laughed frequently and touched often around their friends, but when it came to him she was not the same. She was not nearly as friendly, not that she was mean, but it was not the same association they had before.

After speaking with Merritt at bed time that night he decide to pursue his lack of knowledge on Cera's behavior. "I thought perhaps your mannerism had changed, but as I have observed you, I've realized it's just your behavior towards me."

"I don't follow." Cera gripped her phone tight, in fear of where this conversation may be going.

"You are still physically affectionate, and humorous, and express concern with others, but you know longer display those things toward me."

"I'm just being friendly and having fun."

"But not with me?"

"I…really…don't want to discuss this. I don't mind being sociable with you Sheldon, but really we are...just parents of the same child." Cera felt the need to protect and distance herself from Sheldon. Her recollection of his confusion over the duplicity while dating made her explain further.

"I don't want to enjoy interactions with you. I couldn't stand it. You are this…all-consuming entity. You have been since I met you. You don't mean to consume people, but you sure as hell make sure we all bend to your will and whimsy." Cera all but whispered.

Cera voice sounded…thin…delicate? He had no way to tell what she was feeling, and he didn't quite know how to explain his feelings for her. He knew he had them, but not what they were. It was frustrating that his superior mind could not organize the thoughts and emotions that coursed through him, but they were beginning to take a more definite form. It felt similar to the way he kept his things in order for fear they might get damaged. She was now causing the same sensations.

"I, uh, I need to go. I need to talk to Braden before he goes to bed. I'll talk to you…later, ok?"

"That would be acceptable." Sheldon disconnected his phone, feeling disappointed, without being sure why.