CH 30 Star Light Star Bright
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Kate wipes a smear of blood from the console in a vain effort to read the panel. Instead of clearing the screen, it leaves a thin, red sheen to everything she sees. The cracked readout flashes a countdown slowly showing the seconds left to her life. Kate stares at the main systems of the ship: Life Support offline, Engines offline, Communications offline. In situations like this most people panic, but Kate doesn't have time to panic. Her only chance to live is to stay calm. Her fingers fly over the control panel attempting to restore the systems necessary for survival. "Life support, engines, communications," she repeats in her head as Han taught her. A flicker on the environmental controls sends a rush of hope as the Life Support system comes online. If she can get engines up, then communications, Kate has a chance of making it out of this alive. Burying the revulsion she feels, Kate reaches out to push Rogan's half-severed corpse off the console to get to the secondary power systems relay. His flesh feels cold and squishy like raw meat. Kate slips to the ground in the thick coagulated blood trying to push Rogan's body. The blood coats her skin like an alien creature soaking through her jeans making the fabric cling to her skin. She pulls herself up catching a glimpse of her now bloodied hand. As if trying to physically seek a way into her body, the blood cakes under her fingernails and into every crevice of her skin. "You call yourself a hero, but you have blood on your hands," Rogan's hand clamps around her wrist like a vice. "You will follow us into the depths of hell where you belong." Kate instinctively yanks her arm back as her feet skid in the liquid bloody surface where she is standing.
Strong hands encircle her waist giving her support but also firmly holding her in place. "We are coming for you," Da-Mu-Unka whispers in her ear. Kate reaches up with her free hand to claw at his face but feels a spongey like mass where a hard skull should be. Her fingers sink into the jelly-like consistency of his crushed brain. A scream fights to erupt from Kate's mouth as her body prevents it from leaving.
"She is coming for you," Zala Tsu purrs slinking towards Kate. Like a caged animal, Kate tugs at the wrist Rogan is holding as she struggles to free her body from Da-Mu-Unka's grip. Strange mewling sounds are escaping her lips but not the desperate loud cry for help she is trying to make. "We don't need your body only your soul," Zala Tsu whispers plunging a knife deep in Kate's belly. Instinctively her hand goes to her waist to stop the flow of blood as she curls her body forward.
Kate flies up to a seated position whipping her head around looking for the three dead Sith. She makes a yelping squeal seeing the red blanket covering her body like the blood from her dream. Jumping up she pants heavily as she makes sure she is uninjured.
"Hey Katie bug, you're okay," Jim says soothingly setting down his stylus. He remains calm even though she just scared the shit out of him. "Want to talk about it?" Jim moves his chair out and pats his leg. He makes a mental note of the time. Her nightmares are becoming more vivid. He is becoming increasingly alarmed about her inability to sleep and the nightmares plaguing her dreams.
"No," Kate says smoothing down her hair. She takes a calming breath forcing her mind back into reality. Nervously she twists the hem of her shirt around one finger as she approaches him. Kate stands in front of his desk not knowing where to start. Jim made it perfectly clear he doesn't want to hear about the Jedi so how can she tell him about the Force visions surfacing in her subconscious when she sleeps. Like most non-Force sensitives, he will claim it is just a dream and not watch scary movies or eat before bed. "Maybe I do," she changes her mind pulling a seat from the small table they use to eat.
Jim is surprised Kate is ready to confide in him. "This conversation looks serious enough that we need coffee," he says heading to the replicator. Kate watches him order two steaming mugs: one black the other with sugar and blue food colored milk. She hides her smirk that blue food coloring isn't the blue milk she is used to back home but he is trying and willingly giving her coffee. Kate takes a drink letting the hot liquid calm her nerves. Jim takes a long draw on his coffee thinking about his view of kids. Kids are basically dumb. Instead of perpetually fighting about Kate not drinking coffee, he programmed all replicators to serve only decaf when ordered with the blue milk concoction. So far, Kate has not caught on and he looks like the good dad. "So Kate what is bothering you?"
"Uhhna," she shrugs not sure how to begin. The list of things that are bothering her is extensive and it is 0200 hours. Kate makes a mental list and starts at the top. "You haven't lied to me have you?"
"Wow that is a heavy question this late at night," Jim sips his coffee. For Kate to trust him he has to be honest with her. "No, I made you a promise to tell you the truth. Now do I not always share everything with you…but that is not lying. That is being a parent and protecting you when I feel it is needed." The wrinkles on Kate's forehead inform Jim, she is not happy with his response. "I know you don't like that answer, but it is the way it is kiddo. You are not very forthcoming with the truth," he raises an eyebrow at her, "are you?"
Kate averts her eyes guiltily for a second before responding, "But I never lied to you," Kate says. "I have only kept some things secret and you have too so don't deny it."
"Yes, but there is a difference between us," Jim sighs loudly. This conversation is far more adult than he cares for. "I'm the captain of a ship. I have to hide things from people sometimes, even from my staff and crew, but I don't lie to them. Lying creates mistrust and when a crew doesn't trust their Captain the ship falls apart. "
Kate hates where this is going. Her Dad is right. All her secrets might well have been lies. They have bred mistrust against her and the Jedi. "I haven't been honest with you on a few things, but it was because I didn't trust you. Now I'm in a position where not telling you everything could result in people being hurt and I am tired of people being hurt."
"What do you mean Kate," Jim leans forward with his interest peaked.
"You were right. Zala Tsu, Rogan, and Da-Mu-Unka were Sith and not my friends. We were only allies on the mission," Kate leans back relaxed in the chair.
"With allies being a loose term," Jim can't help but point out that if she realized this seven days ago Kate would have saved him and his crew a mountain of paperwork and headaches.
"Fine they were my ride home," she corrects her statement annoyed Kirk is addressing her flaw in judgment.
At least Kate is finally seeing the truth for herself. Jim shifts the topic slightly to keep Kate talking. "So the Sith are the opposite of Jedi and Jedi are the good guys," Jim sums up his knowledge of the subject.
"Yes," Kate says looking relieved. If she can keep him believing in her, the next part of the conversation will not be as hard as she thought. "Jim they," Kate stumbles on her words. There is no way he can ground her for something that happened days ago Kate asks herself. "Jim I talked to," the words jumble in her mind.
"Kate right now you have a clean slate," Jim walks around the desk sitting on the edge. "You are still grounded for a week with no friends or electronics for jumping ship, but I will not add to it no matter what you tell me. I just need you to be honest okay. We have to start somewhere. Let's make it now."
Kate looks into his eyes blurting out, "I was in contact with Rogan before the Beacon of Light was destroyed." The confession feels good. The easy expression on Kirk's face encourages her to continue.
"I know and it was twice not once. Uhura found the transmission informing them you were beaming over and you talked to him the night of the Drive-In." Jim states his knowledge of the conversations so that Kate will understand nothing gets by him on the ship.
"Well," Kate draws out the word looking sheepish, "then I guess it was three times."
"Three times," Kirk rubs his face. How can he and his crew not keep up with a twelve-year-old kid?
"Yeah. Remember when Komack took me to the medical center." Kirk wants to pull his hair out but controls his emotions for the sake of learning what is going on. "Rogan said there was…he said that," Kate stumbles over her words not sure if she wants to share this with him.
"Please don't say there is another ship," Kirk prays in his mind. One ship was bad enough but two means it wasn't a fluke they got here. Two ships mean travel is possible between the galaxies. With the first encounter, not being a model of diplomatic relations, this news is unsettling. Jim puts the other piece of knowledge that Rogan waltzed into the medical center on the back burner.
"Rogan said there is another ship," Kate says nonchalantly, "but it is not Sith I can guarantee that." Kirk's frustrated glare compels Kate to expand her answer. "Okay, so the Sith are not like roaming our galaxy in huge numbers. The Jedi keep them in check. We can feel them." Kate looks for Kirk to understand but sees he doesn't. "You know when you are doing something wrong and know it's wrong but still do it anyway." Kirk lets a small smile creep on his face. He resists the urge to ask Kate how she doesn't think he is Sith because she has been in touch with that I know I shouldn't be doing this but I am anyway feeling since she got there. "It is sort like that but much stronger when you open up to the Force. It is like," Kate searches for the word to describe the feelings of being around Sith. "It's like being in trouble but outside without a coat. There is a coldness that envelopes you to your core. Trust me you feel a Sith once and you know it." Kate blows out a lungful of air. "So you can't fire if you find a ship okay. Odds are it will be real Jedi this time or," Kate lets her voice trail off.
"Han," Jim says softly. "You think it could be Han right?"
"Maybe but that leads to more problems because I sorta like it here and you guys are kinda growing on me just a little," Kate grins looking at her hand caught in the fabric of her shirt she was nervously twirling.
"Just a little," Kirk teases trying to keep Kate relaxed. He needs to keep her calm. The implications of her story are gnawing at the back of his mind. The antiquated missiles the Jedi used might have been laughable as they were fired at his ship, but they packed a bigger punch than expected. Kirk doesn't doubt he can handle one of their Capitol ships. He just needs to be prepared.
"Like an inch," Kate holds up her fingers, "maybe two. I just want you to know that I was never planning to not see you again. When I go home, I know Han will let me visit." Kate's answer is so sincere, Jim feels bad for the first time about making her stay.
It is clear she loves the Solo's and he does owe them a huge debt. Jim won't give up his daughter, but he won't keep Kate from her adoptive family. If circumstances were reversed, Jim would want to see Kate. This, however, is a conversation that they can have at another time. He brushes her hair back behind ear gently. "Look Kate we can talk about you going or staying later, but the real issue is what kind of threat are we looking at? What if it is not Han's ship, but one allied with the Sith? Would you know the difference?" Her answer is of paramount importance. The last thing Jim wants to do is start a war not having all the facts.
"Yes," Kate says vigorously. "He only flies the Falcon. I just need you to promise you won't fire on them. I don't want anyone hurt Jim."
Here is another time that Jim needs to color his truth in shades of gray. "Sometimes we don't have a choice. Sometimes other people make the choice for you," Jim responds as honestly as he can. Even if it is Han, Jim will deal with it ensuring his people remain safe.
"I am tired of making choices," Kate leans back in the chair like an old man.
"Then don't. Let me do it for you," Jim says taking the cup of coffee she almost spilled on her shirt. Kate is about to protest, but it had gotten cold. Even she has some standards.
"How will I know if your choices are right for me," Kate asks seriously. "What if they are wrong or I don't like them." The thought of someone telling her what to do concerns her greatly. Han and Leia had rules but, for the most part, her day-to-day decisions were left solely up to her. Jim has a far more hands-on approach to parenting. At times, it is annoying, but for the most part Kate likes to know someone is looking out for her.
"Oh I am positive you are not going to like half the choices I make for you, but that is what makes you a kid and me a parent. If the decisions are bad calls we learn from them making better ones the next time," Jim downs his cold coffee wrinkling up his nose.
"Will you destroy the ship if it comes," Kate asks not wanting to look in his eyes.
"Only if I have no choice," Jim goes around to the other side of the desk making a show of shutting down the computer for bed. Once Kate is asleep, he will inform the senior staff of the new development. Kate knows he is going to do this, but Jim finds it easier to keep her in that shade of gray that lies between truth and lies.
Seeing Jim close down, she knows her time is limited. "Please don't hurt them," she begs as Jim gestures towards her room.
"That's not my purpose Kate, nor the Federations," he looks into eyes making sure she understands exactly what he is telling her. Jim can't afford for Kate to be in the dark. "But I can't let my ship get destroyed either. I am responsible for 431 people on board this ship. I will not let them or you get hurt."
Kate is the first one to break the gaze. If she puts her selfish feelings aside about going home, what he says makes sense. Her problem is that Han would never be on the Intrepid. If the ship comes, there will be a battle and Kate will have to pick a side. Her heart may know the answer to which side it will be, but her brain won't acknowledge this. "It took a lot for me to tell you this," Kate confesses as Jim follows her to her bedroom.
"I know. You're very brave," Jim holds up the covers for Kate to slide under. She does so without complaining. What good would complaining do? The outcome would be the same except that the night would end in a fight. Kate decides to pick a better battle. A battle she might win.
"Jim?"
"Yes Kate,"
"Can I be sedated at night?" Kate's question throws him.
He takes a seat at the edge of her bed thinking of how to proceed. He understands what it is like to have demons terrorize you each night. It is no secret that everyone knows James T. Kirk is a borderline insomniac. What they don't know is why. Jim needs to know her why. "It's not healthy to do it every night," he says softly. "I know you have some nightmares but,"
"Please talk to Bones," Kate sits up in bed. "I used to be able to block out my past but," Kate looks at him clearly upset as he brushes the hair from her face, "but it's getting harder to do. Bones' little shots can make sleeping easier. Takes off the edge," she says like she is suffering from a drug addiction.
Jim thinks back to Tarsus IV. It took years for him to get a peaceful night's sleep. The plethora of drug cocktails he took to ease the pain at night never helped. Only time has done that. "Events of the past shape our future. Even the bad ones. They teach us to learn from our mistakes and strive to be better," Jim sounds like his mother but has no other way to explain it to her. It seems to work because Kate lays back scooching down under the covers. If Jim can get Kate to just relax and trust him, this parenting thing will get a whole lot easier.
"I wish we could pick and choose the things I want to remember," Kate says turning on her side to look at him.
"So do I baby," Jim leans over kissing her gently.
"Will you sleep with me," Kate asks.
"For a while," Jim says making a motion for Kate to give him some room on the bed. Kate slides over finding sleep quickly at his side. For Jim, a peaceful night's sleep will not come until the mystery of the second Jedi ship is solved. He lays staring at the ceiling until her gentle snores fill the room before going into the living room. "Spock, we may have a problem," Jim says quietly to his first officer.
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ENTERPRISE GYM
Kate walks into the gym not sure what to expect. Because of their late night talk, she and Jim had overslept missing breakfast in the Mess Hall. Kate spies the kids standing in a clump waiting for class to begin. Not knowing how they will react, she keeps her tone and body language neutral. "Hey John," Kate says not sure how to act around him
"Kate," John responds not looking at her but continuing to stretch his shoulder muscles.
"I am really sorry but," Kate attempts to apologize.
"No, you're not." John's words causes Kate's forehead to wrinkle up in confusion.
"Yes, I am," she looks hurt. "See I had to go because,"
"Save it for later," John curtly cuts her off. "My Dad is about to start class." John keeps his eyes forward indicating there is no room for discussion on this topic. Kate is so busy staring at John she doesn't see Jack has her in his sights.
"Kate," Jack says while staring at his PADD, "come over here and sit."
"Why," she says looking stunned. In Kate's experience being singled out is never a good thing. "How am I supposed to participate over there?"
"You're not." Jack's crisp tone seems to echo louder in the gym than normal. Kate feels like all eyes in the gym are burning holes into her. "When you earn my trust back you can join. The point to self-defense classes is to defend yourself, not teach you how to attack others. When you know the difference you can come back," Jack steps aside so she has a clear path to the bench where the others kids have piled their backpacks.
"I know the difference," Kate tries to be diplomatic. Jack is taking her to task and she knows she deserves it but that doesn't mean she has to like it. "I had a reason. If you let me explain I know you will understand."
"Not right now. Have a seat. Okay so we are picking up with fast blocks to the face," Jack instructs the class. "John pair up with Jo and Cameron Erika. Ronin sit this round out." Jack walks to the group of kids making sure the girls are positioned correctly to block. Jack has to worry more when the boy take each other on about a stray punch or too much force being used. When the boys take on the girls they tend to fight too easy.
But," Kate walks up next to Jack on the mat.
He tries to hide his annoyance with Kate's continued interruptions. Jack adjusts Joanna's shoulder slightly before giving her a smile and whispering in her ear, "give him hell." Joanna giggles at his comment as Jack steps back and John begins to spar with her.
Seeing his son is doing a good job teaching Joanna he turns his attention back to Kate. "When I want your explanation I will ask for it understood," Jack snaps before walking over to Erika and Cameron. Kate turns red from embarrassment. Nodding she walks over to the bench taking a seat. Quickly bored watching the others, Kate pulls her PADD from her bag to entertain herself for the next hour.
Jack feels like shit leaving Kate out when his current mission objective is to include her in any way possible, but Kate has to learn actions have consequences. Jim has grounded her from all personal electronic use, but Bones felt isolating her from the kids would cause more harm than good. Therefore, Kate got off scott free in Jack's opinion. Looking over he sees her reading from her PADD and not paying attention to the class. In five short strides, he closes the space between them. "You may not participate but you can watch. Put that away," he indicates to her PADD.
"I was just doing some homework for English," Kate turns it showing him.
O'Neill feels like a jackass learning she is actually doing something productive and not reading Teen Vogue which is what Jo and Erika tend to do. "Well this is not English so put it away and watch the other kids," Jack says trying to keep his tone neutral.
"Watch them do it wrong," she says snidely regretting her words. It is not that she finds herself superior to the other kids. It is just that the adults are trying to control every aspect of her life.
"Wrong?" Jack feels his tempter skyrocket. "Let me tell you what is wrong little lady. Wrong is stealing my access card. Wrong is hurting your friends. Wrong is disobeying your father," Jack's icy tone brings a second flush of embarrassed red to her cheeks.
"If you would just hear me out," Kate begs hanging her head.
"When I am ready to hear the reason I will ask, but it probably won't be good enough to justify anything you did." Jack goes back to teaching class leaving Kate alone on the bench. Playing hard ball is harder than he thought with Kate. After you strip away the cocky bravado, she is just a scared kid. Jack spends the rest of the class thinking about how this could be Ronin instead of Kate in another universe.
When class ends Kate walks up to John. "Hey do you have a minute I think I owe you that explanation," Kate chews her lip nervously.
"Not now maybe after school. We have fifteen minutes to get to math," John says grabbing his stuff.
"John please," Kate steps in his way as he heads to the door.
"Kate you don't want to do this now. Trust me," John's tone is dead serious. There is no way he is letting a simple smile and I'm sorry from Kate make amends.
"I have to," Kate pleads trailing after him. "I can't stand this thing between us. You were my friend and I need to make this right."
The past tense use of 'were my friend' makes John want to knock Kate on her ass. He is friendly but doesn't make friends easily. Kate breaking his nose John can get over. Kate breaking his trust is another thing. "Fine," he pushes her into GNDN tube a little rougher than he probably should have but Kate can take it. "What the hell is the reason we have to do this NOW," John crosses arms staring at her.
This is going to be harder than she thought. Kate has been in hot water with her other friends but she had a past friendship to draw upon. Here she is making amends with no history of her true nature. John only knows the manipulative side of her. He doesn't know the caring, loyal, soft side. Kate stares at him and his black eyes feeling guilt wash over her. "Does it still hurt," she reaches up to touch the side of his face gently.
"Yes it does," John blocks her from touching him. It doesn't hurt as bad as he is making it out. He just wants to see if Kate has any remorse for what she did.
"I thought with Bones for a doctor you would be back to normal in like five minutes," Kate jokes clearly uncomfortable.
"Bones said it would take a few days. Not all things heal that fast however," John says coolly.
Kate doesn't miss the underlying message. John is pissed more about her actions that the injury. "Oh," she twirls a ring on her hand nervously.
John begins to get uncomfortable seeing Kate this tense. Even though she has broken his trust, he feels oddly protective of her. If Cameron or Ronin were acting this way, he would read them the riot act. "Times running Sparkles," he tries to stay annoyed.
"John they know where my mom is. I had to go with them. I mean who was going to help me find her…you," Kate struggles to keep her temper in check. At this point, she doesn't care if they would sell their mother's to a Hutt. She wouldn't and that's all that matters. "So I made a shitty ass decision and you were collateral damage."
"Collateral damage!" John can't believe the words coming out of Kate's mouth. There is no way she actually means what she is saying. "Friends aren't collateral damage," John reprimands her like a parent.
"But it was my mom," Kate repeats focusing on the part of the message that means the most to her. "And no you are not collateral damage. You just got in my way."
"I trusted you," John spells out where Kate has made her mistake. "They were using you and you knew it yet you went right along with them."
"Maybe," Kate shrugs not wanting to face the truth John is force feeding her.
"Maybe? No, maybes," John says disgustedly, "AND they convinced you we were so bad that you attacked me."
Kate may not be the most honest always, but she is not a liar. "Okay…fine… yes, but I was alone. I had no one I could trust," Kate spats back annoyed.
"Me Kate, me" John yells at her. "You could have trusted me or your dad or my dad and don't say you couldn't."
Kate slumps against the wall not being able to deny anything John has said. "You're right. Okay, I said it. It was a bad call but it is was made. I can't go back and change it so I can only move forward." Kate looks at him blowing the bangs out of her eyes. "So are we good?"
John knows he is beating a dead horse but is still too mad to let it completely blow over. "I'll let you know," he says walking to the hatch.
"You'll let me know," Kate wrinkles her nose up blocking him from the exit. "What kind of answer if that?"
"The only one I have right now. Kate, I told you that you did not want to do this now, but you didn't listen again." Kate rolls her eyes annoyed igniting John's temper. "I held back in the turbo because you're a girl. I was taught not to hit girls, but I won't hold back again now move," John warns her.
"I held back because I didn't want to hurt you," Kate says hotly. "You're lucky you only had your nose broke."
John is done with Kate's attitude. He drops his backpack and in a fluid motion flips her over his head onto the deck. Kate makes a soft groan as the wind is knocked out of her. "I held back and you were just in my way," he retorts leaving her lying on the floor.
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CAPTAIN'S QUARTERS
"Kate," Jim hollers coming back to their quarters. The room is pitch black and silent. He knows Kate is in here. The ship's computer traced her comm signal to Deck E, Room 3F 121, which is their quarters. "Katie bug," Jim says softly turning on the living room light before making his way to her bedroom. Instead of sleeping, he finds Kate sitting in the dark on her bed crying.
Jim knows Kate cut school after gym class, but has no idea why. Her crying on her bed tells Jim it wasn't to be defiant. Something happened and he needs to know what. "Sweetheart," Jim sits on the edge of her bed. "Nothing can be that bad that you need to sit alone and cry in the dark? What happened? Maybe I can help." Once again, Jim silently curses that Lauren is not here to help him out.
"I have run out of excuses," Kate wipes her runny nose on her sleeve.
"Run out of excuses? For what," Jim asks confused. In his experience, Kate has an excuse for everything.
"For things," she shrugs not wanting to talk about the incident with John.
"Like cutting class today," Jim probes gently. There has to be more to it this than that, but he needs to start somewhere.
"Just ground me from hanging out with the kids," Kate suggests. "I won't throw a fit. I broke a rule and I deserve it." Kate reads that Jim is not buying into her plan to avoid the kids. "I think your school is stupid," Kate tries to make him mad. "And I don't plan to go again," Kate hopes this will make Kirk furious and end their conversation; unfortunately it does the opposite.
"It can be," Jim agrees with a chuckle, "but you are going tomorrow and that is not why you are in here crying." This sensitive, listening Kirk is so irritating to deal with. A mad Kirk is predictable. An understanding Kirk is not. When he is angry, Kate knows what to expect. This Kirk is throwing her. "I know Jack wouldn't let you participate, but that is not the reason you gaffed off the day. Wanna tell me the real reason?" Kate sighs deeply. "I'm not leaving until you tell me the truth," Jim nudges her shoulder. Kate's admission of wanting to be separated from the kids concerns him a lot. At this point, they have been the single solid relationship Kate has formed. If that relationship has been severed, Jim needs to fix it immediately.
"John is really mad at me," Kate sniffs wiping her running nose on her sleeve again. "I tried to apologize, but he wanted no part of it."
"Well, you did break his nose so I think he has a right to be mad don't you?" Jim's answer makes Kate chuckle once before turning somber again.
"And I had a right to," Kate lets the words trial off.
"You had a right to what," Jim asks tenderly. He needs to know the way his daughter thinks to understand her.
Kate turns on the bed so she is face to face with him. "If you had been me and I you, would you have come to me and asked for help?"
Kate's question is one only a child would ask. "Depends on what I was thinking at the time," Jim's response makes Kate instantly feels better. Kirk is one of the few who truly gets her and doesn't lie.
Kate relaxes slumping back on the headboard. "I was thinking you would say it wasn't a good enough reason to risk my life. That the Sith were evil and manipulative and had their own agenda. That they were not going to help me and I should have been smarter."
Jim stifles the grin forcing its way onto his face. Kate is reckless, headstrong, and stubborn; however, her response to her own question informs Jim she clearly understands why everyone is so mad at her. "All that is true and I can say that because I'm an adult and saw it coming a mile away."
"So I was right…you would not have let me go if I had told you my plan," Kate makes sure she understands his position correctly.
"No, I wouldn't have," Jim agrees.
"So I made the best decision possible at the time," Kate declares in a slightly superior tone.
"Nooooo, it was totally the wrong decision. Like putting peanut butter on a hot dog," Jim affirms his answer with an outlandish comparison of his own.
"But you said," Kate protests.
"I said it depends Kate," Jim sharply cuts her off holding a finger up to silence her.
"Then I want the Jimmy Kirk kid answer," Kate crosses her arms. "Would you have done the same thing in my position?" Her tone looks for Jim to validate her actions as being the same ones he would have chosen as a kid. Truth be told, Jim would have done the same thing at her age. The difference is Jim has grown up since he was twelve regretting most of the decisions of his youth.
"I can't give you that," Jim looks at her sincerely. "Jimmy Kirk made some craptastic decisions in his youth. I try never to think like him."
Kate snickers at his comment. "I just don't understand why John can't see it," Kate goes back to the real reason she is so upset. "Why he won't accept my apology. I tried so hard," Kate sniffs back a tear. "I asked him if we were good and his answer was we'll see."
"Kate he has to think it over," Jim assures Kate things will be fine. "Guys look to solve problems not linger on analyzing the effects. He's mulling over the why you did it."
"I did it for us Jim," Kate looks fixedly in his peaceful blue eyes. "So that we could…you know maybe…be like a real family one day." Jim is flabbergasted by Kate's fantasy. Although he has loved Lauren his entire adult life, if she walked through the door now he would strangle her with his bare hands for what she did to their daughter. "Rogan said he wanted me to die," Kate changes the topic perceptive enough that Jim is not ready to start a family as a threesome right now. "He said that I was pathetic and worthless and you know what I was thinking about when he said that?"
"What were you thinking?"
"That you, even when I was a royal pain in the ass that first three days, were never cruel or mean," Kate shares her feelings openly.
"First three," Jim's face shows amusement at her statement. "What about the last four," he laughs.
"I'm serious," Kate squeals indignantly before moving on. "The point is I just want things right between John and me. That is what I want."
If it were any other kid than John, Jim would not be so self-assured with his answer. "They will be kiddo. Give him time." Kate nods. If she were John, she would need more than 24 hours to cool down. "I have a surprise for you," Jim remarks in a chipper tone. He needs to get her out of her self imposed isolation and back with people.
"For me?" Kate is immediately on edge. After all her antics, this surprise can't be anything beneficial.
"Yes you," Jim gets up. "Follow me." Kate follows him tensely. "Tada the assignments that you missed."
Kate stares at the stack of PADDS scattered on the tiny kitchen table. "This is why I do not like surprises. They NEVER work in my favor," Kate mumbles plopping down irked that this is happening to her.
"Have fun," Jim pats her back. "If you need help let me know." Adding to her dismay, Jim props his feet up on the coffee table before switching the channel to GolfNet on the TV. Kate feels certain this is to add to her punishment. There is no way she will ask him for help with her homework no matter how lost she is.
Ten minutes later...
"Ugh, I hate this. Math should never involve letters," she gripes. Jim clicks off the TV and takes the seat next to her ready to spend the next half an hour explaining the same math concepts he did last night.