A/N: I don not own or make money from The Big Bang Theory

Chapter 25

An absence had never been so upsetting to Sheldon before. Though Sheldon spoke to Merritt daily, he hadn't seen her in over a week. Cera had even given him Merritt's direct number for convenience, but that meant he hadn't spoken to Cera at all. This left Sheldon plenty of time to ruminate on his discomfort with the situation. While he was aware that, he and Cera, as well as Merritt, to an extent, ran on tight schedules, he wondered if there was more to this separation.

He definitely wanted to spend more time with his daughter, but what he found odd, was his desire to engage Cera in conversation. He liked laughing with her, talking about comics with her, and that she listened to his work and tried to postulate applications for what she understood. The thing that he missed most, was unique to only her, he liked watching Merritt with her. While he wasn't good with facial expression, he knew the look of wonder that comes from proving a theory; that was often Cera's expression observing their daughter. After several days with the illusion of having his own family, he was feeling surprisingly bereft.

Sheldon was accustomed to people not wanting to be around him; he just wasn't used to caring. He wondered if Cera could really dislike him this much, but upon recalling their last conversation, it was that she didn't want to enjoy him. Implying that she really did. Through google searches and conversations with Penny it seemed more that this was an action born out of emotional injury or the prospect of such. His query to Penny about what exactly she was hurt over left his head reeling. He wasn't certain what to address or how to fix it.

"…So are you ok with everything. I mean, with Sheldon and…" It was the first time Penny had been able to reach Cera by phone since finding out about her involvement with Sheldon.

"Not…really, but I'm dealing with it."

"Yeah, I guess you would. I still can't believe…I mean this is, Sheldon. I totally misjudged him."

"Yeah...me, too." Cera sighed, still overwhelmed from the experience from the week prior with Sheldon's family. She felt as though she constantly shifted from familial treatment to being judged, from Mary more than Meemaw. Sheldon, all the while, was more pleasant and helpful than usual. She was unsure if it was for Merritt's sake, because of the new situation, or if he was adopting a new attitude.

"He said he hasn't seen much of Merritt lately. Or you. Surprisingly, he mentioned you, too." Penny had noticed her odd neighbor out of sorts and slightly unkempt, so she pried it out of him.

"Oh, uh, yeah. They talk every night, but the scheduling…" Cera was feeling awful. She'd let her own complicated feelings affect Merritt and Sheldon.

"Oh, tell me about it. Has he always been that way?"

"Yeah…but he's been surprisingly flexible since I've… re… met him. But it's not just him. I mean I'm busy and Merritt's got her own things too." The excuses tasted flat in Cera's mouth.

"Well, if he's being flexible, can't you?" Penny was surprised Cera's selfish behavior, even though she probably had a good reason.

"Well, uh, yes. It's just, I'm needing space, right now."

"Yeah, what's that got to do with Sheldon seeing his daughter?" Penny hated being harsh, but Cera was sounding unusually selfish. Even if this was hard for her, Sheldon needed Merritt. And probably Cera too.

"Well…nothing. It's just me, not wanting to deal with Sheldon."

"I can see how you feel that way, but surely he's not that bad. I mean, you had a baby with him."

"I'm not suggesting I dislike him. I'm simply….avoiding my feelings on the whole matter."

"Oh, well, I totally get that. But can't you work it out so they can see each other." Penny heard Cera's soft, ragged 'Yeah' and decided to change the subject before she made her cry.

"So…Zack told me he told you about…us." Penny was nervous about her admission of marriage. She'd been commitment shy since Kurt, but it was just like her to stumble into one.

"Yeah. I suppose he felt it was only fair to swap personal revelations."

"What do I do with this? I didn't plan it. I'm not sure I want it. It was just a…a stupid thing." Penny ran her hands through her hair.

"I could say that Merritt came about the same way, but I wouldn't change it.

"Do you think splitting up would be a good choice?" Surely she couldn't build something real with Zack on a drunken joke. Penny expected Cera to tell her so.

"You know I'm not going to answer that. I can't, because it's not my decision. If you are going to make a choice, whether it's something you regret or enjoy-make sure it's yours, not someone else's."

"Did other people do that with Merritt? Told you their choices?" Penny hadn't considered the effects of Cera's pregnancy.

"I'm not even going to dignify those conversations by talking about them."

"Oh, that's…I'm sorry. But what can you tell me or, ya know, ask me?" The advice she always got from Cera was invaluable. Mostly because it wasn't advice; it was forcing her to know herself and make her own decisions. She supposed it was because Cera didn't force her opinions into situations. Probably because she didn't want to get wrapped up in other people's lives or have them wrapped up in hers.

"Well, I've never been in your place before, but my suggestion would be to take what you have, then construct something better with good decisions."

"So you think we should stay together and make it work." Although she didn't ever say so, Penny was certain Cera like Zack better than Leonard.

"I didn't say that…take what you have, make something better with good decisions."

"You think we should…You know what, I'm gonna talk to Zack about this." It annoyed Penny when Cera was cryptic, but knew it was just her way of minding her own business.

"Still not saying that, but talking about it, sounds like the best decision."

"Thanks…You really should follow your own advice though." Penny wanted her friends to be happier, better. What they seemed to be together.

"I'd already planned on it." Cera smiled at the thought.

"Good. So are we on for Saturday?"

"Uh, you know what, yeah. Let me check and see if Sheldon would mind being with Merritt for the evening."

Sheldon was perusing the new releases on the wall when he felt a pair of petite, slim arms slip around his waist. He was alarmed until a head hit the middle of his back and was accompanied by a squeal of "Surprise!"

"Merritt!" Sheldon whirled around to gather his daughter in his arms, just to pull to arm's length with a calculating look. "You have recently used hand sanitizer, right?"

"Yeah, it's in my pocket." She was crushed into another hug, before even finishing her sentence.

"I'm pleased to see you. It's been too long." Sheldon didn't normally like surprises, but for this he didn't even mind the interruption to new comic book night. Sheldon stood to see Cera, who gave him a small smile. He smiled back, grateful that he wouldn't have to wait until Saturday to see his daughter.

Merritt greeted the other guys and floated around the store enjoying new comic book night. Sheldon watched as she looked through the dollar bin and felt the tightness in his chest ease. Over the weekend he had noticed it tightened a bit more each day he didn't get to see her. He was still observing her when a voice broke through his thoughts.

"Hello, Sheldon."

"Wheaton." Sheldon looked up to the smirk he always knew meant trouble.

"You know my daddy?" Merritt, sneaking up behind Sheldon, was surprised by Wil's greeting.

"Oh, hey Bit!" Wil tussled Merritt's hair. "What do you mean by that?"

"Well, this is my daddy." Merritt gestured to Sheldon, speaking to Wil as though he were silly.

"Sheldon, this may be the most interesting Bazinga you have come up with yet."

"I assure you, Merritt is no joke." Sheldon's hand went to the girl's shoulder and gave a squeeze.

"Cera, tell me this a joke." Wil called over his shoulder to where Stuart was helping her and Howard.

"I'm not laughing, Wil." Cera called back. Stuart dropped the comics he had been collecting for her, at that surprising information.

"Damnit! Braden said…and it was…you?! All this time?" Wil's typical smirk was gone and been replaced with a stoniness Sheldon never seen before. Wil remembered visiting Cera after the birth of Merritt, having not seen her for a few years. The vibrancy that she had carried since childhood had all but disappeared. She hadn't even seemed that dejected after losing Galen. Though she never talked about it, he knew it was Sheldon's fault. And now Cera was hanging out with him.

"All this time, what?" Sheldon thought Wil really ought to be more specific, because he really wasn't making much sense. He noticed Howard steer Merritt toward the other end of the small store.

"You didn't…you…" There was nothing Wil could say that wouldn't be highly offensive and inappropriate in the vicinity of a nine year old. "We're not done talking about this. I hope you're planning on growing the Hell up and do something right for a change. Or you're going to be on my list."

"I…I am a grown up. You-" Sheldon flustered.

"Yeah, you seemed like grown up when you couldn't let anybody else watch Indiana Jones just because you couldn't get in line early enough." Wil was back to smirking again.

"I was there prior to your arrival! But you-"

Cera cut in front of Sheldon, placing her hand on his chest, creating a sensation he wasn't sure if he should flinch away from, or into. "Sheldon, he just likes messing with you. That's his thing."

"But he…" Sheldon whined.

"This is not about him. This is about Merritt. You. Me. This is our life." Cera held Sheldon's gaze.

"Meesa thinks yousa notsa-" Wil always found Sheldon's rants amusing. It was a plus that Cera could see how ridiculous the high strung nerd was.

"Wil! Stop antagonizing him!" Cera's hand and eyes never left Sheldon, not even to chastise Wil. She was irritated that she had once laughed about the 'nutjob' that called Wil, Jar-Jar, and stole a movie. It made perfect sense now. Sheldon had always been audacious when he was upset. And Wil loved to provoke…everybody.

"Alright, alright. Cera, call me later." Watching Sheldon soften under Cera had been a bit disconcerting, but he realized she was handling it. Whatever it was. For now, he was going to talk to Braden and find out what exactly was happening here. "See you, Bit." Wil raised his voice so Merritt could hear him at the back of the store.

"Okay. Bye Mr. Wil!" Merritt responded from behind a rack of collectables.

"Don't call me Mr.!" Wil yelled back. "Why do you do that? You know I hate it when she call me that. It sounds creepy." Wil turned to Merritt.

"She's just being polite." Cera had an evil grin and then laughed. Wil just shook his head. At least she was no longer touching Sheldon, even if she was still standing too close.

After the fourth phone call, in two days from Wil, Cera was ready to scream. Each phone call he took a different tone, but she assumed that was because Wil was getting explanations from Braden and Elliott. She finally had to thank him for his concern and tell him to back off. And for God's sake, leave Sheldon alone.

"Well, I would, but-" Wil's voice had a mischievous lilt to it.

"No buts Wil. Anyway, I'm walking out the door."

"Where ya going? You're not hanging out with Sheldon, are you?"

"No, I'm going to Penny's. But Merritt is going to stay with him."

"Are you sure you want to do that? He could teach her to curse in Klingon or something."

"Wil, you try to teach her to curse in Klingon. I'm just glad she gets her grasps for languages from him." Cera had heard Sheldon brutalize the Mandarin language and Merritt's attempt would be the same.

Wil laughed "See ya, Cera!"

Opening the door to a brightly colored Cera, Sheldon could help but smile. This was better than the pastels and neutrals she had worn when his family was in town. Long ago he had observed that the brighter colors Cera wore, the better mood she was in. Today her multicolor skirt was topped with a tank top emblazoned with a parrot in a pirate hat that said 'Yes, I am a Pirate.'

He had thought of her frequently in the last two days. She had defended him from an enemy, from someone who was her lifelong friend. She had said this was their life. That had left Sheldon confused after her implication that the only thing they shared, was offspring. The way she expressed herself to Wheaton had never made him feel so included before. There were things in his life he had even started that he had been ejected from-like the Artic trip. So being considered a part of her and Merritt made him warm inside.

"Hey daddy." Merritt threw her arms around him.

"Hello Merritt." Sheldon was almost becoming comfortable with the sudden and constant touch from his daughter. The joy of her presence almost over took the panic of what germs she was carrying and if she had recently sanitized herself. Almost.

She waved a hello to the guys in the living room before noticing the stiff, panicked look on her father.

"Don't worry. I have sanitizer." Merritt held up a small bottle from Bath and Body Works.

"It has glitter in it." Sheldon pointed to the offensive item. The guys chuckled from in front of the TV.

"It still works. It has sixty-two percent alcohol in it." Merritt defended her sparkly sanitizer.

"That may be so, and I am grateful you use it, but handwashing is still more effective for germ removal." Sheldon just hoped his home wasn't covered in the shiny flecks later.

"OK, well, I'll be across the hall. Be mindful of junk food and video games." Cera gave Sheldon a pointed look followed by a soft smile.

"Olivia, I am perfectly capable of caring for our daughter. While I am new to this, I can assure you the previous missteps won't be repeated."

"Thanks again, Sheldon."

"…is why I am currently sleeping on the couch, while Ricky is occupying my boudoir." Amy was explaining when Penny opened the door to Cera with a soft 'hey'.

"So you're sleeping on the couch because the monkey has a cough?" Bernadette waved to Cera as she questioned Amy's living arrangements.

"Ricky would not object to sharing with me, but he snores, so I refuse to slumber alongside him."

"That sounds…practical." Bernadette responded.

"Certainly. Greetings, Cera Olivia." Amy shifted on the couch uncomfortably.

"Hi Amy, just Cera is fine." Cera accepted a bottle of water from Penny.

"You are late and missed my compelling anecdote about Ricky."

"My apologies. I was leaving Merritt with Sheldon and the guys."

"Do you really trust them with a kid?" Penny laughed.

"Certainly. She's joined them before." Cera giggled, "She disrupted Sheldon's sleep that evening, but that's the prize, for playing violent games in front of her."

"You don't think he'd do that again, do you?" Bernadette was concerned.

"Of course not. Sheldon's brilliant and knows how to learn from a mistake. Especially one that costs him his REM sleep." Cera gingerly sipped water from the plastic bottle she abhorred. She was grateful Penny gave her an alternative to wine, so she drank it.

"I would've liked to seen that. Does he tell her 'No one is allowed in my room'?" Penny mimicked Sheldon.

"No, he's allowed her in a few times. She slept in his room and he took the couch, last time."

"So, Sheldon is rearranging himself for the child. That seems detrimental to them both. It would be unfortunate for Sheldon to become another statistic of a parent losing his identity to his child. Also, she would not get the benefit from learning to self-comfort." Amy pointed out.

"Merritt's not a toddler, so I think she has accomplished self-comfort as much as any of us ever do. As for Sheldon, I don't think him becoming an attentive parent is a bad thing." Cera looked at Amy sternly.

"Of course, and I'm certain he's a brilliant father. In fact, if you were amendable, I would very much like to observe both Sheldon and Merritt and see the impact their interactions have on one another. Did Sheldon not ask you?"

"Uh, no, he did not. I'm not…sure. Sheldon and I would have to talk it over."

"Though I have no real world experience with children, I am well read on the subject." Amy gave Cera a hopeful look.

"I…believe you do, but I really should discuss that with Sheldon. Should I assume you have conducted such testing on him before?"

"Oh yes, Sheldon is quite fond of having his brain scanned." Amy was nearly giddy. "What type of education is Merritt receiving? Please tell me it is not mediocre public school education." Amy was dismayed at the thought of a product of Sheldon's brilliance being mishandled.

"She is not!" Penny chipped in. "She's at Waverly. She even went up a grade 'cuz she's got a high IQ."

Amy looked thoughtful. "Oh, well, that's better, I suppose. Do you feel she's being challenged academically? Is she getting a sufficient scientific background?"

"Yes. Merritt always has at least one extracurricular project going, and she has ample help. I am a physician, my brother is a physicist, and she spends a lot of time with Howard and Raj. Oh, and of course now, she has Sheldon. So, yes, she is being thoroughly and properly educated." Cera defended her daughter's tutelage.

"Perhaps, but I mean medicine is just a practice, Raj can't speak to you, Howard only has a Master's, and your brother couldn't compare in knowledge to Sheldon." Amy was certain the girl couldn't possibly be properly educated with such a motley crew. It was fortunate that Sheldon was now available to her.

"Uh…wow. We all do have our specialties anyway. And Braden is very aware how he stacks up to Sheldon. Which is precisely why he drug me to a symposium in Heidelberg when we were teens."

"You met Sheldon as a teenager?" Amy gave a stunned whisper. Sheldon had failed to mention that information. She had referred to him as a sort of boyfriend last week, yet she continued to find she knew less and less about him. Perhaps this is why he didn't seem to mind her taking another man to a wedding.

"Yes."

"You were always going to come along and impel your offspring onto Sheldon? I'm concerned for him and for Merritt. For years you've concealed his progeny from him and now you've turned him into an au pair." Hurt or anger, Amy couldn't tell the difference right now. Nor did she know if it was for Sheldon or herself, but she knew she didn't feel OK about it.

Bernadette and Penny gasped.

"I..." Cera pulled a deep breath to calm herself. She hadn't done anything to Amy to cause her anger other than coincidental association. "Thank you for your concern. It was always my desire that Merritt have a relationship with her father. I was never going to force her on him, though…That is all the information you need on my family."

"So, Howie wants kids." Bernadette changed the subject. "I mean I didn't really want them, but they're interesting and Howie is so good with Merritt. It's amazing-I've watched him help her build a hand. It's an articulated hand out of straws and yarn. Howard is so patient and clear with her.

"Sometimes he's still juvenile, and that's fun and cute, but it's not the same, or as often now. He's doing more for his mom and letting her do less for him, and he realizes he doesn't have to. Even she's a little different. I still don't want to live with her, though."

"That's just Howard learning how to be…him. He's been a real rock for me throughout…" Cera avoided the touchy subject of Sheldon and Merritt.

"Yeah, he's...different...more." Bernadette said reflectively.

"So, Wine?" Penny filled the lull.

Sheldon was connecting his old SNES, thinking an older system's games may be easier for Merritt to tolerate.

"So, uh, daddy, did you apply the other differential equation?"

"What?" Sheldon straightened up and gave Merritt a calculated look.

"You said that function and derivatives weren't working out so you needed to-"

"I recall what I said, I just didn't think had been listening. Yes I did, it worked out well." Sheldon gave a genuine smile, stunning the guys. "Good girl." Sheldon felt a sudden sense of ease with her that he hadn't experienced before. He had been concerned that like him and his father, he and Merritt would be too different and never understand each other.

"Did you understand it?" Sheldon felt a fluttering in his chest at the prospect.

"Umm, not a lot of it. I've never really seen anything like that before." Merritt noticed Sheldon's face fall. "But you could, maybe, tell me."

"She could probably pick up the core of it. From the things we've done together I can tell she's got the comprehension level of a young high schooler. On things she likes anyway." Howard winked at Merritt, settling any hard feelings from pointing out there were things she didn't pay attention to.

"It's true." Raj backed up Howard's claim.

"You would want to do that? Learn some basic physics from me?"

"Well, not now. I wanted to play Donkey Kong Country. Later though." Merritt picked up the grey controller.

"Good idea Merritt, Donkey Kong sounds great." Leonard added quickly before they all got sucked into a physics lesson.

"So…me and Zack are, uh, together." Penny still sipped at her first glass of wine.

"Are you sure about this Penny? Cats are notoriously hard to return to the bag." Cera warned. "They are temperamental, get into everything, leaving evidence of their presences as they shed as they go. I'm still dealing with my own cat"

"Do you dislike cats, Cera?" Amy scrutinized Cera, thinking the conversation was taking an odd turn.

"What? No, though they do irritate Merritt's asthma. I was speaking in metaphor, though." Though Cera answered Amy, she was watching Penny.

"I...It's ok. Me and Zack will be alright...I hope" Penny understood Cera's meaning and hoped they could handle whatever came from it.

"It was unfortunate that his lack of intellect was such a turn off. The thoughts of his hiney still make me…Hoooo." Amy eye's rolled up as gave a dopey smile.

"No…it wasn't unfortunate. Me and him are kinda…permanent?" Penny's voice expressed the uncertainty she felt.

"What do you mean, kind of permanent?" Bernadette leaned forward on the couch in confusion and expectation.

Penny glanced at Cera to gather her courage. "Me and Zack have been married since Thanksgiving."

"What?" "How?" Amy and Bernadette chorused.

"Remember when we went out to Vegas?"

"Yeah, he took you because you were homesick for the holidays. He thought getting you half way was good enough."

"Las Vegas isn't even close to halfway to Omaha, Nebraska. Perhaps if you had made it to Colorado…"

"But, you had a good time and came back happy." Bernadette interrupted Amy's geographical correction.

"Yeah, we gambled, had a festive dinner in a strip club and went to a cheesy wedding chapel."

"How could you do that? I didn't even get to be a bride's maid?" Amy looked bereft.

"Well, it turns out Elvis is your bride's maid when you go with the Hunka Hunka Burnin' Love package." Penny was shocked by Amy's distress; she'd barely known her a year. If she picked, it might be Cheryl, who started at The Cheesecake Factory about the same time. Or possibly Whitney, she was an even older friend who she used to go to auditions with, but Whitney had been in the same group of friends with Kurt, so that would have been kind of weird. Picking her older sister would be best.

"If Elvis was your bride's maid, who officiated?" Bernadette wrinkled her nose at the thought.

"Oh, he did that too. Only a different Elvis." Penny finished her wine, but held off on getting a refill. She was trying to follow Cera's advice, but making good decisions was hard and not really fun.

"Well, I suppose there is always Bernadette." Amy comforted herself.

"I'm not even sure if we want attendants. Howie and I haven't really planned anything yet."

"Don't look at me. I pass." Cera shifted uncomfortably as attention shifted to her.

"You don't want a wedding?" Bernadette asked.

"If I want anything, it's just a happy marriage...that's different from my parents. A commotion is not necessary for that." Cera, sitting at the bar, finally accepted a glass of wine from Penny.

"So you don't think you would ever? I mean you and Sheldon have Merritt."

"What does that have to do with marrying Sheldon? It was just to sate curiosity, if anything. If he were to marry anyone, wouldn't it be Amy?"

Penny opened her mouth to mention that Sheldon spoke of Cera a lot, but the pleased look on Amy's face silenced her.

"While I do enjoy a relationship with Sheldon, which my mother believes is physical, I have had a date with another man, so it's early yet to be settling. Just last weekend I attended a wedding with Leonard." Amy turned her attention to Penny. "I do hope you don't mind how cozy Leonard and I have become."

"Uh, no, it doesn't bother me; you would need to ask Priya. But I hear the international charges are a bit high. Good for you for getting out, though." Penny finally gave in and poured a second glass of wine. So far so good for revealing her nuptials. Now, she just had to tell her family.

"Why, thank you. It was a pleasure having an evening in which I did not have to discuss comics…or trains." Amy confessed.

"Not your cup of tea Amy?" Cera noted that Amy didn't seem to actually like Sheldon.

"I'm not certain how any adult can waste their time on something so juvenile."

"Juvenile? Which one? Merritt and I took a train across country last year. It was very efficient. The views were marvelous and the sound and motion made for some of the best sleep. And I'm certain if you crack open the right comic book, it is not for children."

"I suppose lollygagging with such things doesn't bother you, but then you don't have to spend your energies on the pursuit on neurological excellence."

"Hmm, guess not." Cera stated obliquely.

"Sorry to wake you." Cera had crept into Sheldon's apartment to collect a sleeping Merritt.

"I wasn't really sleeping. Merritt had a good evening. She was even able to speak with Meemaw." Sheldon whispered, stepping forward in his Saturday pajamas and robe. He stopped to glance at Merritt sleeping on his couch. "You were right..."

"While I'm sure I was. You need to be more specific and tell me about what."

Sheldon wanted to chastise her for interrupting, but he noticed her big grin and realized she was teasing him.

"You told me not to underestimate her. She was listening last week. We even talked about it after we played. She remembered nearly all of it. Her understanding wasn't exactly comprehensive, but she was definitely above her age level. Of course she would have enhanced abilities, she is my child." Sheldon whispered too close to her ear causing her to shiver. "Are you cold?"

"Uh, no, I just need to go." Cera took two steps back.

"Girls night typically involves imbibing alcohol. Are you certain you can drive?"

"I only had one glass. That was over an hour ago."

"If you're certain that you will be safe." Sheldon's look of concern was not lost on Cera.

"Safe. Safer than in here." Cera said more to herself as she nudged Merritt awake.