"papyrus!" Sans gasped, jerking upright and promptly rolling off the edge of his bed. He hit the ground with a bang, and he stared up at the ceiling for a moment in shock. Abruptly, his arms jerked up, feeling his chest gingerly as he searched for the wound the human had killed him with.
"o-oh. they… they RESET again…" Sans whispered, and he felt himself start to shake as relief washed over him. He pressed one hand against his forehead, taking deep breaths as he tried to calm himself down as a pale blue glow lit up his room in response to his frantic emotions. Sans stayed like that for at least an hour, struggling to keep himself from lashing out with his power, before he heard noises coming from downstairs.
That was right…. Today always started off with Papyrus cooking spaghetti for breakfast and catching the stove on fire by accident.
Not bothering to get dressed, Sans slipped on his slippers and wandered downstairs. Pausing at the entrance to the kitchen, Sans sighed in relief as he watched Papyrus spill spaghetti everywhere. papyrus… thank god… Sans quietly slipped over, and gingerly reached out to hug his brother from behind.
"WHA- SANS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP SO EARLY? YOU'RE NEVER UP EARLY!" Papyrus asked in surprise, looking down at Sans in confusion.
"couldn't sleep…" Sans murmured, and Papyrus's eyes widened in recognition.
"WAS IT ANOTHER NIGHTMARE?" He asked gently, and Sans nodded, looking away. He knew Papyrus suspected there were things Sans wasn't telling him, but Sans wasn't sure how to ever explain it all to Papyrus. "...DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT?"
"…not really. today will you just… just let me walk around with you…? i… i don't feel so good, paps…"
"OF COURSE, SANS. NOW, HOW ABOUT YOU HELP ME COOK THIS SPAGHETTI. I WANTED IT TO BE A SURPRISE FOR BREAKFAST, BUT THIS WORKS JUST AS WELL! I THINK IT'S GOING REALLY WELL- OHHHH NO."
Sans peered past his brother and managed to snicker when he looked back at his brother's horrified face. It seemed that the stove behind Sans and Papyrus, left unattended, had abruptly burst into flames.
Strangely though, the human never showed up that day. Or in the many quiet days to come. Sans was left watching the Ruins' door, alone in his thoughts, as RESETS happened one after another….
And yet Frisk still didn't appear.
.
"I can't believe this." Chara hissed. Frisk covered their ears, turning away from the direction of the voice and squeezing their eyes shut. I'm not listening, I'm not listening, shut up, shut up, go away…
"I was so close," Chara continued, undeterred by Frisk's silence treatment. "And what happens? This sniveling, weak, coward decided to take their own life for what?! Morals? God, you are pathetic, Frisk."
"Leave me alone!" Frisk cried, burying their face in their knees. "I just want to be left alone!"
"You think I'll just let you off so easily for taking everything away from me, Frisk? No. You're mine, Frisk, whether you like it or not. That's my body that you're selfishly keeping to yourself."
"It's not!" Frisk bit back. "If it's yours, why don't you just take it back then? What have you been waiting for, Chara?"
"…tsk. You're back at Level 1, so there wouldn't be much point now, would there?"
Frisk jerked, startled, and then realized what Chara meant. "…you mean you can't take over my body at this point until I kill someone." Frisk felt their shoulders relax, some of the anxiety leaving as the immediate threat vanished. "…Why don't you go find someone else to bother? I'm never going to kill anyone ever again, Chara. Just... just give up on me. Everyone else already has."
"Ohhhh no. No, you're not getting rid of me that easily. You can't escape these RESETS either, Frisk. Not until you do something about your SAVE file's virus. Which, if I may point out, isn't going to fix itself. face it, you need me, Frisk!" Chara hissed.
Frisk, however, at this moment, felt their blood run cold. "V-virus? What do you mean?!" Frisk stood up, looking around for a hint of the SOUL that had plagued them lately. "Chara, what do you mean virus?! Someone else doesn't have the RESET power? You weren't doing this to make me kill people…?!"
"Like I have the power to do that, idiot. I can't even take over a stupid crybaby's body at this point." Chara snapped. "Of course this problem is with you, Frisk. You wouldn't remember RESETS if someone else was doing them, nor would they be so oh so perfectly timed with events taking place around you. The comedian was correct in his assumption that these RESETS? You're still the one doing them, Frisk. Even if it's without your control. Get it? You need my help. You need me. You can't turn your back on me, Frisk, right? Come on, we're partners…. I wasn't going to hurt you, and… and you plan to SAVE everyone, right? So you can't just leave me here…" Chara's voice pleaded, but Frisk shuddered, wrapping their arms around themself.
"…how long have you known, Chara?" Frisk asked quietly. "How long have you known about this… this virus?"
"I had my suspicions when I first talked to you, but only when you decided to stupidly commit suicide did those suspicions get confirmed."
"…hahaha. So Sans was right…" Frisk said hysterically, before they froze, eyes widening. "oh god, Sans… I can't face him. Not after what I did... I can't do this anymore…" Frisk murmured, swaying unsteadily on their feet. They were silent for a moment before they took a raspy breath, slowly letting it back out as Frisk tried to focus on not having a panic attack in that moment. "L-Look... Chara. Originally, I did want to SAVE everyone. Originally, I didn't want to hurt anyone. But… but now I just feel so empty. Like what you made me do killed me on the inside. So when you try manipulating me based on my naïve nature now? …That's not going to work, anymore, Chara. Because I… I just realized that I just wouldn't care if you died." Frisk was silent for a moment before laughing bitterly again, wiping away the tears that dripped down their face. "…I'm so pathetic. Despite killing everyone, I still feel sorry for myself instead of worrying about how much I hurt everyone else. Why don't you just go rot in hell for all I care? It's not like I'm getting any better deal here."
"…" Chara was stunned into silence, and then they laughed. It wasn't a nice laugh, either. "Aren't you dramatic, Frisk. Fine, then. I'll leave you alone. But Frisk, you know we're really alike in the end, right? What you said just proved it. So let's see just how long you can go before this numbness consumes you like it did me. And the second you kill someone again… I'll be waiting."
The silence that filled the minutes spanning Chara's departure seemed to press in around Frisk, and they curled up in the golden flowers again as they, exhausted and afraid, went back to sleep.
.
When Frisk woke up, they quietly moved on. They talked to Flowey and met Toriel again.
…neither remembered Frisk.
And when it came time for Toriel to try and destroy the entrance of the Ruins, Frisk didn't try and stop her. They quietly watched, and once the deed was done Frisk asked softly if Toriel would go read more of the snail book to them. It didn't matter, really, what the book was about… it was a distraction to Frisk's thoughts, a well appreciated distraction, to the little voice that whispered how Frisk was a coward, trying not to meet Sans again. Frisk merely shrugged that feeling off. They wanted to just be with their mother for now… was that too much to ask?
.
Apparently it was.
Exactly five days after Frisk had first woken up with Chara, the world RESET itself. Frisk scratched their head and sighed. "So… if I die, it RESETS. If I leave the Underworld, it RESETS. If I stay in one place for too long, it RESETS…" Frisk rubbed their face then forced a fake grin on it. "W-well, that's fine. At least if I stay with Toriel I don't have to face…" Frisk trailed off, sighing. "…I…I still need to figure out how to fix this virus. But...but that can wait! I'm not ready to move forwards. Not now."
And so Frisk stayed with Toriel, again and again and again.
The same question, cinnamon or butterscotch over and over again.
Alternating answers, just because Frisk could.
The same book, and same gentle kindness from the monster Frisk had murdered only a few days ago in their eyes.
The same kisses on the forehead, the same kind gaze that lit up whenever Frisk was in the room.
Toriel was always very kind to Frisk when they stayed with her, of course. She took care of them, and taught them all sorts of things about the Ruins and monsters that lived there. She told them all about snails, and hugged Frisk during the nights when they uneasily paced around the house, unable to go back to bed because of fear of what might be lurking in their dreams. She would hold Frisk tight and tell them its all right when Frisk would randomly break down, crying and hyperventilating as memories and fears flashed before their eyes.
It was hard. Frisk half expected Chara to return and whisper threats and promises to them again but… but Chara didn't come back. Instead, a soft whispering started whenever the world RESET, a voice that sounded familiar yet foreign to Frisk. But eventually, Frisk knew they had to face their fears or those fears would never go away. Besides, Frisk owed it to everyone to try and fix everything, even if it took them thousands of RESETS… right?
And so finally, eight RESETS and 40 days later, Frisk hesitantly opened the Ruins' door and stopped back out into the cold.
They couldn't stay with Toriel forever, after all…
.
Facing Sans was hard.
Upon hearing the snapping of a twig, Frisk hesitantly turned around, eyes trained to the ground as they hesitantly raised their gaze to focus on Sans's hand. Frankly, Frisk was surprised Sans was even willing to go near them now.
But as Frisk hesitantly shook the hand that Sans had offered and realized that something was different, they felt something inside of them break. "…where's the joke?" Frisk whispered, hyper aware of the feeling of the skeleton's grip and the blatant lack of a whoopee cushion.
Sans merely closed one eye and stared at Frisk, an unreadable expression on his face. "sorry kid. there's no punch line here… i kind of lost my sense of humor for this."
And something about the way Sans shifted his balance, how his eyes remained warily locked on Frisk's hands, on how afraid he looked…
Frisk stood silently, looking down at the ground, and Sans turned to leave them. "W-wait… Sans." They called, their voice trembling.
Sans stopped, but he didn't turn around.
"I'm… I'm a stupid doo doo butt." Frisk said quietly, and the first tear fell onto the snow. "I'm the legendary fart master. I'm a stupid, stupid idiot that broke your trust and hurt you. I'm a m-murderer, and I can't expect you to forgive me for that." Frisk could only see the watery outline of Sans's back as tears overflowed from their eyes, and their breath grew ragged. "B-but please… please don't leave me alone, Sans. Don't act like it never happened. I'm so alone and everything I do to fix things just seems to make them worse. I just want… I just want to stop all of this. Please… Sans… I'm so, so sorry. I can't even… I c-can't even tell you how sorry I am. I know I don't deserve your mercy, Sans. I just… I just…" And Frisk broke down, crying as all of the fear and pain escaped them at once.
Sans finally turned around to look, and silently he awkwardly patted the human child on the head, unreadable emotions swimming in his eyes.
"…why don't you start by telling me just who exactly it was that killed me, huh? …you've gotta pay for the meal, though."
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((Aaaaaand we're off again! This may come as a surprise to you guys, but Sans is actually by far my favorite character. Thanks to everyone who reviewed the story and favorited/followed, you guys are awesome~! Also, do you guys like the new cover image? Until next time!))