"Well… I guess the whole 'taking it slow' thing didn't really work out, did it?" Bruce was the first to actually form a coherent sentence that morning, and given the way Tony and Pepper were still panting even after they'd broken apart and sank back into the bed, it seemed likely that he might be the last. He caught Tony in his arms as the man rolled backwards, smiling at the lack of motor skills in the action as he pressed a light kiss to the sweat-damp skin of Tony's shoulder.
"We made it a few weeks," Pepper replied, essentially waving off Bruce's comment on her way to push her hair out of her face. "A few weeks counts as slow."
"A few weeks counts as slow if you only have sex once," Bruce countered with a grin, but he really couldn't make anyone believe that he minded.
"Not necessarily." Pepper shrugged to the best of her ability, looking over Tony's lump of a body to find Bruce's gaze. "We're just… making up for lost time." And they were, they definitely were. She knew that the 'taking it slow' comment would come back to bite her in the ass after their first time a week ago, but the fact that they were barely awake before they were on top and inside of each other again that morning pushed her to believe that it was really water under the bridge by now.
Tony must have agreed, because he grunted into a pillow before he forced himself to roll over and consequently press himself firmly against Bruce's chest again. "Ah, fuck," he sighed, rubbing a hand over his still-flushed face. "Does it really matter?"
His breathless comment earned some quiet laughter out of the other two, and Bruce ran his fingers through Tony's ruffled hair before setting his arm over his boyfriend's bare torso. No, Bruce supposed, it didn't matter. What mattered was what they had right here and right now—the closeness, intimacy and easy comfort of just being there tangled up in each other without any need for words. This was the kind of thing he'd only ever wanted, and luckily he'd found it with Tony, but he knew he'd found so much more when his skin warmed as Pepper took his hand and rested her head on Tony's chest after pulling the sheets around herself.
Yeah, this was it. Maybe they hadn't gotten off to the easiest start, and maybe they were just reaching the honeymoon period now when most people would have had that long ago, and despite the hardships they still had to face in the outside world it was moments like this that made everything worth it.
"You know, Pep," Tony started, and his raspy voice broke Bruce out of his thoughts. "I have a burning question that you really need to answer."
Pepper felt a little smirk pulling at the corner of her mouth, but she managed to push it away until her suspicions were actually confirmed. She tilted her head to look up at Tony, eyebrows raised. "Yes?"
Tony moved to shove his arm underneath her and get it around her back, pulling her towards him so he could lean in and get his face within inches of hers. "Who's better?" he stage-whispered, and even though Pepper expected him to flash a grin, he said it with a completely straight face.
Pepper blinked, and there was a beat of silence before she huffed out a quiet laugh. Figures. The expression on Tony's face was more ridiculous than anything else, and she leaned forward an inch to peck him on the lips before, with a matter-of-fact tone, she said, "I'm not answering that."
"Come on. You have to. It's me, right? It's gotta be me."
Pepper broke the eye contact to exchange a glance with Bruce, and inhaled a deep breath to keep herself from laughing. "No, I'm not giving either of you the satisfaction of answering that question," she repeated, but she wasn't completely successful in hiding her amusement.
"You mean you don't want to give me the satisfaction," Tony corrected as he squeezed her waist, and he heard an amused yet exasperated sigh out of Bruce on his other side.
"I'm not giving you any satisfaction," Pepper replied, "and Bruce—"
"'And Bruce' what? And Bruce is better?" Tony interrupted, and he was too focused on Pepper's expression to see if he was right that he didn't even notice Bruce's snort of laughter behind him. "Okay. Okay, I see how it is."
Pepper rolled her eyes, partly at Tony and partly to keep from looking at Bruce, because she knew she'd lose it if she did. "I never said—"
"It's because he's hung like a fucking horse, isn't it?" That comment knocked them both into shocked silence for a minute, and Pepper could see Bruce turn a vibrant shade of red in the corner of her eye. "Because I would like to remind you, Miss Potts, that it was this also decently-sized dick that put a baby in your uterus. Remember that?"
Pepper snorted and pulled herself up to sit properly, squeezing Bruce's hand before she let go to give Tony's chest a reassuring pat. "Vividly," she said, reaching over to rub Bruce's shoulder as he shoved his face into a pillow. "Now, I'm just going to exit this conversation before it gets any worse and take a shower before we go down to the doctor's to check on that baby you put in me."
"Oh, shit, yeah," Tony said when he realized, "when is that again?"
"11:30." Pepper forced herself off the bed and onto her feet, not bothering to cover up with the sheet since the bathroom was only a short walk across the room. "And it's already half past 10, so you and your decently-sized dick need to get up so we're not late." She flashed one last grin before she turned around and wandered away, still quietly snickering to herself.
"I can't believe you just used the term 'hung like a horse' to describe me," Bruce said once Pepper was out of earshot, his voice muffled by the pillow he still had over his face.
Tony chuckled, rolling back over to pull the pillow away and brace his arms on either side of the other man. "My euphemisms only ever speak the truth," he replied easily, leaning down to kiss Bruce quickly yet thoroughly. "Although, I gotta say, I was only ever expecting to have to compete with the Other Guy in that department."
Bruce groaned loudly, but the sound was cut short when Tony kissed him again. "I hate you."
"Uh huh." Tony dragged his hand down Bruce's side, and pressed his wide grin into the other man's neck instead. "Love you too, buddy."
###
After Tony and Bruce had wasted another 20 minutes by laying around in kissing lazily in bed, Pepper managed to pull Tony up and away so he could get dressed and be halfway responsible and punctual that morning. As much as she would have liked to sit there and just watch them for a little longer, she didn't want to be late, and she wasn't going to let Tony get out of going with her again.
However, he actually seemed fairly proactive this time, and at least he hadn't complained during the drive over to the doctor's office. If anything Pepper was the one complaining a little bit, just because she'd never liked doctor's appointments and she definitely didn't appreciate having to go so frequently. It was strange to think that the tables had turned, but Pepper could see that Tony was finally, really trying, and she wasn't going to do or say anything that might jeopardize that.
"You're probably confusing the hell out of this poor doctor, you know," Tony said after they'd been waiting in the small examination room for a few minutes. He was wandering around the small area to looking at all the different things lining the walls, and Pepper could tell that doctor's offices always made him jittery.
Pepper's eyes followed him as he paced, and for the moment she gave up on reading the sea of emails that had loaded into her phone's inbox. "What makes you say that?"
"I dunno," Tony shrugged, looking back at her over his shoulder. "Last time you were here with Bruce, now you're here with me. You should bring Happy next time just to see her reaction."
Pepper smiled a little bit and rolled her eyes. "I'm sure she's seen far stranger things, and I doubt she's too concerned with the people who come with me to appointments," she reasoned, looking back down at her phone. "And Happy would be asking too many questions, he'd drive all of us crazy."
"True. Bring Rhodey, then."
"If you keep pacing like that, I just might."
Tony stopped in his tracks, and Pepper smiled warmly when he looked over at her again. He laughed quietly, almost self-consciously, as he walked back towards the plastic chairs in the corner of the room and took a seat next to her. "These places always make me a little jumpy," he explained with half a smile, and Pepper murmured a gentle 'I know' in response. "So, are you, uh… you're feeling okay, right?" he asked, carefully placing a hand on her stomach to try and be supportive. "I mean, you haven't really mentioned anything since last week, and…"
"Sometimes it helps to not talk about it very much," Pepper explained, sliding her hand over Tony's to give his fingers a squeeze. She didn't mean to brush off his concern, and she hoped that's not how Tony took it—after all, he had a right to be worried and nosy after knowing that Pepper had withheld information about their child from him for months. She still felt guilty about it, but that wasn't going to do anything for them now. "Mind over matter kind of thing, I guess. But I've been okay, for the most part."
Tony's expression visibly softened with relief, and he wrapped his fingers around Pepper's in return. "Okay," he said, and he leaned over to kiss her temple just before the door opened.
"Good morning," Dr. Montgomery greeted them cheerily, setting a small pile of papers on the desk near the chairs. "Nice to see you again. Although I have to say, I was expecting Dr. Banner to tag along again," she said with a quick smile.
"Yeah, I guess he decided to let the real father come along this time," Tony said, and Pepper nudged him in the side before he flashed a winning smile and held out his hand for the doctor to shake. "Tony Stark. Pleasure to meet you, finally."
"You as well." The doctor shook his hand, and turned her gaze back to Pepper a second later. "How have you been feeling, Pepper? Has anything changed since I last saw you?"
Pepper took a second to think of how to answer while the other two in the room turned their attention onto her. Part of her thought it would be easier if Tony wasn't there to hear all of this, but the firmness and warmth of his renewed grip on her hand dispelled most of that concern as she looked back at the doctor. "The pain has been getting a little worse as time goes on, but I suppose that makes sense," she said, settling on being honest without sounding too grave. "But I'm all right, I think. I'm handling it."
The doctor nodded as Pepper talked, looking down to flip through some of the papers on the desk after she finished. "Okay," she said, setting the papers back down. "I don't like that you're in more pain, but you're right that it's to be expected. I also have the results of those tests you had done a couple weeks back, but I'd like to take a look at the baby first before we discuss that," she explained calmly, "sound okay?"
Tony and Pepper exchanged a vaguely worried glance, but Pepper ultimately nodded in the affirmative. She didn't necessarily like the sound of that, but she could very well be assuming too many things without hearing the doctor out first. She could only hope that Tony was thinking the same thing as she stood up to take a place on the examination table and got settled, hoping this part would be over soon so they could get to the topic that was really concerning her.
It was only a matter of minutes before the monitor lit up with the greyscale image of the baby, and Pepper reached out to take Tony's hand when she heard him stand up and walk closer to her. A smile twitched at the corners of her mouth, but her mind had already flip-flopped back to the worries for it to really mean anything.
Tony could easily see the waver in Pepper's expression, so he squeezed her hand tightly in an effort to make her feel a little more comfortable. The doctor's words had set him on edge as well, but after the rollercoaster of emotions the past few months had been, he was determined to not let himself react too drastically. "She's really cute," he said softly, watching the screen for a minute before he looked back at Pepper and smiled encouragingly. "Definitely our kid."
"Mhmm," Pepper murmured, and for the moment Tony's gentle voice and reassurance helped her feel like this all was normal, the way it was supposed to be. Having Tony there with her this time felt right, and she was done wishing that they'd gotten to this point sooner. They were here now, and that was what mattered—maybe it would even be enough to her to feel like it was all okay. So she gripped Tony's hand more firmly and turned her eyes back to the doctor, drawing in a breath. "So?"
"Well…" Dr. Montgomery hesitated before she continued, and Pepper couldn't tell if the neutral expression on her face meant that the news was good or bad. "She looks okay given the situation, but as we know, that isn't ideal." She examined the monitor for a minute longer before shutting it off and gesturing towards Pepper and she took a few steps back towards the desk and chairs. "Come here, let's talk."
If Pepper had been worried before, now she was a whole new level of anxious as she gathered herself and went to go take her place back in the chair beside Tony. It was obvious that the news wasn't great, but all she could hope was that it wasn't too devastating. Tony was stiff beside her, but she could tell he was trying to appear less anxious and more casual as he stretched his arm out to rest on the back of Pepper's chair, his hand brushing her shoulder as they waited for the doctor to continue.
"So I've had a look over your test results, and what I've gathered is confirmation to what I've suspected," the doctor started calmly, clearly able to see the tension drawn into the couple in front of her. "To put it bluntly, your body is hating everything about this. It hasn't adapted well, and because of that, your baby isn't thriving the way she should be at this point in the pregnancy."
Pepper clenched her jaw in an attempt to keep her expression from wavering. "So what's going to happen to her?" she asked, although she wasn't sure if she wanted to hear the answer.
"That depends." The doctor took one last look at the papers before pushing them away in favor of looking directly at Pepper instead. "A pregnancy like yours comes with a long list of risks, both for you and your child. Normally, in a situation where the baby was thriving but the mother wasn't, I would suggest delivering early to serve both of them well. However, in your case, neither of you are thriving, which doesn't leave you with a win-win scenario however it goes.
With the way your body is reacting, you're at a very high risk of pre-term delivery; that would be good for you, but your daughter isn't where she should be developmentally, so there's no saying how well she wouldn't or wouldn't be when she's born. On the flip side, she'd probably do much better with more time inside, but I'm worried about your body's ability to handle a full-term pregnancy." She stopped after that, wanting to give Pepper and Tony a minute to process before she went any further.
Pepper, however, didn't know if she could process all of that. Sure, she'd known since the beginning that this wasn't going to be easy, and even as things got worse and worse as time passed, she had never expected to be faced with something like this—something so uncertain, so subjective. She placed a hand on Tony's knee and gripped hard, just to try and stop the shaking. "So now what?" she asked, doing her best to keep her voice steady. "I mean—do I have a choice in any of this, or do I just… wait?"
"You just wait," Dr. Montgomery answered, and the tone of her voice spoke volumes about how much she hated to say it. "Your body and your baby are going to do what they're going to do. I don't believe we're in any place to make a judgment about what's best for either of you, because whatever choice you make will do well for one at the detriment of the other. So you wait, and I'll keep an eye on you, and we'll see what happens." She offered a smile, but Pepper was too busy staring at the table and trying to digest everything to see it. "Which brings me to the point that you need to rest from now on out. No more work until you have that baby, whenever that'll be—staying on bed rest without as much stress will reduce the risks at least a little bit. Okay?"
The doctor waited for Pepper to respond, but the confirmation never seemed to come. So Tony took over and nodded, making eye contact with Dr. Montgomery before he turned his attention back to Pepper, gently nudging her shoulder to try and get her to respond to something. When they didn't seem to be getting anywhere and there wasn't anything else left to explain, the doctor moved to gather her papers and stand up, intending to give them some privacy.
"As worried as you are right now, I want both of you to remember that even though you feel like this might end badly, it has just as much of a chance of ending up completely fine," she said reassuringly, offering another warm, encouraging smile. "If you need anything, don't hesitate to call me."
She exited the room then, leaving Tony and Pepper to their own devices in an almost uncomfortable silence. For the life of him, Tony could not tell in the slightest what Pepper was thinking or feeling—usually her face gave it away at least a little bit, but she was so stone cold and still that it actually scared him a bit.
"Pep?" he said gently, resting one arm around her shoulders while he took the other to lightly touch her cheek. "Honey, will you look at me, please?"
Pepper didn't comply, but Tony was vaguely relieved when she blinked and looked at least somewhat responsive. It looked very much like she was trying too hard to keep it together, but for whom Tony didn't know—there wasn't anyone else she needed to stay calm for, and he would have liked to think that after everything they'd gone through recently that she wouldn't want to shut him out anymore. But he'd known her too long and too well to fall for any of that; she was holding it together for herself, because Tony knew how much she couldn't stand to be weak.
"Why is this happening to us?" Finally, she spoke, and her voice was so small and so broken that it almost made Tony feel physical pain.
"I don't know." That was the only thing he could think to say that was truly and completely honest. "I've always been a magnet for bad luck, I guess," he added, and he tried to smile as he tucked a stray lock of hair behind Pepper's ear.
"It's not fair," Pepper continued, squeezing her eyes shut as she let out a shallow, shaky breath. "Just, after everything, I—I just wanted this to be normal, and it's not—it's just not fair, Tony." Her composure broke then, and Tony could feel his heart physically shatter as he watched her heave a sob. He'd only seen her cry a handful of times before, but every time he did it felt like something inside him withered away and died; Tony had seen his fair share of terrible things during his years, but few of them even came close to watching somebody as strong, unwavering, and perfect as Pepper Potts break.
But she was right—it wasn't fair. Nothing was ever fair when it came to them, and Tony was sure that Bruce would say and feel the same thing if he were there. But as much as he wanted to fix this, go back in time and turn things around and be better and just be there for her so maybe this moment wouldn't feel as helpless, Tony couldn't. So he just held her while she shook apart, letting her tears stain his shirt as he did his best to murmur gentle condolences and hope that maybe, just maybe, it would all be fine.
After another several minutes, Pepper finally seemed to start to calm down. She wasn't better by any means, but at least calmer, and that was slightly easier for Tony to handle. "I'm sorry," she said quietly, but before Tony could deny that she continued. "I just can't do this. I can't."
"Yeah we can." Tony didn't waste any time in responding, because staying silent for too long would just let her slip further away, and he wasn't going to put all of this on her shoulders. He was a part of this too, and he was done avoiding responsibility. "It's us. We've made it through some pretty rough stuff, I think we can… figure this one out." He didn't know where the hell all this sudden optimism was coming from, because it definitely wasn't in his nature to have his sights set on the best case scenario, but he knew that the inevitable crash would come later. "You wanna go home?" he asked before she could devolve into a puddle of hopelessness again. "Come on, let's go home."
Pepper nodded, pulling back from Tony's shoulder to wipe her cheeks so she didn't look like such a mess. Tony leaned in to kiss her forehead before he helped her up, and he slung a supportive arm around her waist as they made their way out of the office and back home where they really needed to be.
###
The ride home was spent mostly in silence, both of them wrapped up in their own thoughts to really want to say much. Pepper spent most of it trying to keep herself calm and reverse her emotional reaction—she'd let her feelings get the best of her, and she always hated when that happened. It was happening much more often lately too, and it was just another thing that made her even more anxious for this pregnancy to be over.
At least Tony seemed to be holding it together better than she was, but Pepper knew that would only last for so long. She just hoped that he wouldn't fall back on the same coping mechanisms he'd been using for years—sleepless nights in the workshop, empty bottles of alcohol strewn across the desk and the floor. Things were better now that Bruce was around, but there was no telling how he would deal with this either.
Even so, she resolved herself to try to not worry for now, as much as she wanted to or felt she should. Tony's solid presence beside her was somewhat of a help as they made their way up back to the penthouse, and by the time they got there Pepper felt like she was at least halfway on her way to being back to normal. Not okay, but at the very least, less of a mess.
Although, when the elevator let them off on their floor, she definitely wasn't expecting to be greeted by anyone besides Bruce. Rhodey, Natasha, Happy, and Clint were all sitting in various places around the living room, and when Pepper looked to Tony for some kind of explanation, he just made a very bad attempt at shrugging like he didn't know.
"Hi?" Pepper said curiously, looking around the room.
"Hi." Bruce stood up and walked towards where Tony and Pepper were standing in the foyer with a wide smile on his face, and he leaned in to peck each of them on the lips when he reached them. "Welcome back, how'd it go?" There was a pause, and he seemed to get the hint as he ran his hand down Pepper's arm.
"We'll tell you later," Tony said quietly, and Bruce nodded, deciding not to push it.
"Do my eyes deceive me, or are you actually having a Stark kid?" Their small gathering was interrupted by Rhodey, and the large grin on his face was enough to prompt an actual smile out of Pepper. He held out his arms to give her a hug, and she happily complied. "It's good to see you again, Pepper."
"James," she said fondly, leaving a hand on his arm after the embrace ended. "I thought you were based in Miami until the end of the year?"
"Yeah, well… I was supposed to be," Rhodey replied with an indifferent shrug. "Wasn't much happening down there though, so I managed to sneak out a few months early. Plus, I kind of had to see this to believe it," he added, gesturing towards her stomach.
"What, you didn't think we were capable of making a kid?" Tony butted in, punching his friend lightly in the arm before he patted Rhodey's back. "Because, let me tell you…"
"I just always thought she had enough to handle with you," Rhodey said before Tony could go any further, and the banter continued as Pepper rolled her eyes and turned back to Bruce and the rest of the people in the area.
"So what exactly is all this about?" Pepper asked, her shoulders relaxing fractionally under Bruce's arm as he wrapped it around her while they made their way towards an empty sofa.
"You mean we have to have a reason to gather in your apartment like a bunch of cattle?" Clint deadpanned from where he was stretched across the opposite sofa, but he sent a little smirk in Pepper's direction before he took a sip of the beer in his hand.
"I know, she sounds so thrilled to see us," Natasha added teasingly.
"Not what I meant." It felt strange to be smiling so much so soon, but if being around the others was getting her mind off the day's earlier events, Pepper would take it. "Usually I like to know when we're having guests," she said, turning her head to give Bruce a fond yet pointed glance.
"Well…" Bruce shrugged, and Pepper could see the corner of his mouth twitch into that tiny little smile she always loved. "Your birthday is in a couple weeks, so Tony and I thought we'd organize a little gathering."
Pepper raised an eyebrow and lifted a hand to fix one of Bruce's stray curls. "Really?" she asked, "a couple weeks seems so far in advance, usually you're so particular."
"Fine. You got me." Bruce took Pepper's hand before she could ruffle his hair like he knew she was going to, and laced their fingers together. "I know you said no to a baby shower… or at least a traditional one… so this is your low-key baby shower disguised as a low-key birthday party. Or I guess it could work as both." He shrugged again, and leaned over to kiss her cheek to hide his somewhat sheepish smile. "So happy early birthday, darling."
Pepper felt her skin and heart warm at Bruce's words, and she didn't really know what to say in response. All of this was just so incredibly sweet, and after the emotional rollercoaster the day had already been, she wouldn't have been surprised if her feelings got the best of her again (they didn't, luckily, because she at least had enough self-composure to prevent something that ridiculous from happening).
Still, as sweet as it was and as content and Bruce looked, she couldn't shake the thought that it might all be for nothing. She hated the idea that she and Tony would have to tell him about the appointment, and she hated the knowledge that she would have to see that perfect, kind smile of his fail.
But they weren't there yet, and Pepper knew that if she was going to face this and actually deal with it, she would have to take it one day, one minute, one second at a time. So in that second, she managed to suppress the fear and worry and denial and leaned in to kiss him sweetly instead, ignoring the few pairs of eyes that were probably on them.
"I'm just impressed that nobody let the cat out of the bag on this one," Tony put in, having walked over to perch on the armrest of the couch beside Pepper, smoothing his hand down her hair after her and Bruce broke apart. "I guess we can trust some of you after all."
"Says the guy with the biggest mouth in the room," Rhodey commented offhandedly, and Bruce snorted in amusement as Tony turned to throw back the snark.
Most of the afternoon continued just like that, in a comfortable atmosphere with familiar banter and familiar faces. Pepper never had very much faith in the notion that human contact could make a terrible situation seem less so, but maybe… well, maybe she was wrong. It didn't change what was happening, and the occasional casual comment from one of the others about her soon-to-be child still hurt a bit, but she was far from feeling completely hopeless. That would change at some point, she was sure, but for now Tony was right. They could handle it. Maybe they couldn't fix it, but they could handle it, much like they always handled everything else.
Sure, she thought, it'd be fine. It had to be.