"You know I don't want to leave you here, right?"
Pepper's gaze was fixed on the tine, fragile new life in her arms, asleep by the looks of things, and she sighed. She'd spent every allowable moment in this room with her daughter since she'd been able to leave her own, and from the second she laid eyes on the little girl, she was smitten. The fact that the baby was untouchable in the habitat of tubes and wires and bandages for the first several days of her life somehow made it easier for Pepper to come back down to earth, but that morning when the doctor finally gave her the go-ahead to hold her baby, she was back on cloud nine.
"I'll be back here every day until you can come home with me. I promise."
Then, after she'd gotten the slightest taste of motherhood and completely fallen in love with it, the news came that Pepper would finally be free of the hospital walls that day—but she'd be going home alone. Holding her daughter was phenomenal, but she knew that it would only make saying goodbye about a thousand times harder.
"Someone gets to come home today." Pepper looked over her shoulder at the sing-songy tone that sounded behind her, and she knew it could only belong to one person in particular. Her eyes met Tony's chest as he leaned over to kiss the top of her head, and she smiled instinctively at the action before turning her gaze back to the seemingly peaceful baby in her arms.
"About time," she commented, feeling her shoulders warm underneath Tony's arm. "I'm looking forward to real food and a bed that doesn't feel like sand paper."
"And a bed with two other, incredibly attractive people in it," Tony pointed out, and Pepper just rolled her eyes fondly. She was missing that the most, though, she had to admit. "Honestly, I'm surprised they kept you this long in the first place. A week, really?"
"I guess that's what happens when your insides don't want to stay sewn together," Pepper deadpanned, and Tony made a noise that sounded something like a snort before they both dropped it. Neither of them wanted to think about what happened a few days prior.
"Well, it'll be nice to have you back, at least. The bed's been a little cold without you," Tony said, and he shifted and leaned over in his chair to set his chin on Pepper's shoulder. He reached out a hand to touch the baby's arm, and Pepper smiled when the little girl twitched in her sleep. "How's my Sophie doing this morning?"
"She's just fine," Pepper answered, and it just seemed necessary for that statement to come with another smile (something she was doing a lot more this week than she ever had in the past). "Amazing, as always." They'd decided on the name Sophie after a few days of bickering that made Pepper wish they'd been smarter and discussed the name thing well before their daughter decided to enter the world (then again, she'd kind of thought that they had another month or so). Most of the argument was spent weeding out Tony's ridiculous class rock-inspired suggestions ("Roxanne!" "That song is about a prostitute, Tony") and narrowing it down to something that wasn't too outdated, popular, or new-age—something that proved to be a little difficult especially when Pepper factored in that it needed to flow with 'Stark', because she wouldn't have it any other way.
So, Sophie it was. Sophie Stark.
Pepper didn't even want to think about tackling middle names after the fiasco first names had been, so she and Tony easily agreed to leave that one up to Bruce.
"Of course she's amazing, look at her parents," Tony said, his tone approaching something so matter-of-fact that it almost made Pepper roll her eyes. She watched Tony's hand reach across her again to ever so gently stroke Sophie's soft cheek, his touch light enough that it wouldn't disturb her. "Wait. When did they start letting you hold her?"
"Earlier today," Pepper answered, and she was vaguely amused by the expression of confusion and almost-betrayal on Tony's face, like he was baffled that he could have forgotten such an important milestone. "They said she's finally strong enough to come out of that crib without too much risk. Do you want to hold her?" she asked, turning towards Tony just a tiny bit to offer him the baby.
Tony was quiet with thought for a moment, and when Pepper looked at him, she thought she saw something close to worry or even fear cross his expression until he quickly shook it off. "No," he answered, surprising Pepper a little bit. "I think mommy should keep her for now. Don't want her to wake up."
"Mmm, okay," Pepper said, gently nudging Tony's head with her own. "Not sure I'm ready to hand her over yet, anyway." She looked back down at her daughter's serene face, then leaned down to place a light kiss on the little girl's forehead. She lingered there for a second or two, just absorbing the precious quiet of the moment, then pulled back with a gentle smile at the corner of her mouth. When she came back up, she felt that familiar, pleasant tingle of Tony's fond gaze on the side of her face, and she made the split-second decision to turn her head and gently press her lips against his. The kiss only lasted a moment, but it was enough for Pepper to be fairly warm and satisfied when she pulled away. "Where's Bruce?" she asked, suddenly aware of the man's absence.
Tony sighed, and Pepper almost felt herself shiver underneath the gentle exhale of breath against her neck. "Back in your room," he answered, and it was the same reply she'd gotten every day for the past week. "With Rhodey this time, though."
"James?" Pepper raised an eyebrow. "What's he doing here?"
"Dunno, beats me. Apparently he wants to see you or something," Tony joked, and Pepper managed to nudge an elbow into his side without disturbing Sophie. "Nah, he just dropped by this morning when we were on our way out. Said he wanted to visit you since he hasn't yet. He'll give us a lift back home when the doctors let you off the leash."
"That's nice of him," Pepper commented, absently toying with her daughter's tiny hand when she seemed to shift in her sleep. "Think he can give Bruce a lift to this room?" she added, mildly annoyed.
"Pep…"
"It's been a week, Tony." Pepper didn't give him a chance to backtrack or dodge the conversation like they had been recently. "I get that he's having a hard time. We all are. But it's not going to get any easier if he keeps dodging everything. She's his baby too, and he hasn't even looked at her, it just—it doesn't seem like him."
"I know," Tony said, the exasperation clear in his inflection. "I know, I'll talk to him again. Think we should head back there and let her rest for a while?" he asked, quickly changing the subject as he gave Sophie's arm another gentle stroke. "I'm not sure I trust those two alone in a room together, Rhodes is probably giving him embarrassing ammunition against me."
"Can't be anything I haven't already told him," Pepper murmured, vaguely amused after a moment of hesitation. Having her daughter basically glued to her arms for the past hour or so just felt so natural, and she wanted to make the point that Sophie technically was resting just the way she was—but Pepper was smart enough to understand Tony's ulterior motive with the suggestion, so she reluctantly stood up and gently laid the little girl back in her crib.
"For the sake of avoiding self-incrimination, I'll just say that Rhodey has some other stories," Tony pointed out, smiling halfway innocently at Pepper's quirked eyebrow before he wrapped an arm around her back and started on their way back to her room.
When they entered Pepper's room, they were greeted by Bruce and Rhodey chatting excitedly, and they were so enthralled in whatever conversation they were having that Tony and Pepper found themselves just standing there in silence for a moment. For his part, Tony was just glad that those two had taken to each other so well in the past few years—he didn't know what he would have done if the three most important people in his life didn't get along. (Well, now it was four, since Bruce, Pepper, and Rhodey were joined by the tiny, brand new Sophie down the hall. Now, having four people he cared about that much—that was something Tony never would have expected.)
Tony cleared his throat, and he smirked when the sound managed to get through to the other two in the room. "Oh… there are the new parents, about time," Rhodey said, standing up to clap Tony on the back before he gave Pepper's arm a squeeze. "I don't get how you still look good even after being laid up in a hospital for a week," he said to her, grinning.
"I know, it's inhuman," Bruce agreed with a smile, reaching over to take Pepper's hand once she sat back down in the center of the bed.
Pepper just rolled her eyes at their remarks, working on getting as comfortable as possible on the hard mattress before she just gave it up. "I think you just chose a good time to finally come visit," she teased, "I looked like hell two days ago."
"Doubtful, not with that radiant 'mother's glow' thing you have going on," Rhodey replied, and Tony smirked at how noticeable the blush was on her fair skin. "How's that baby of yours?"
Tony watched Pepper's face light up when Rhodey asked the question, and he took a minute just to appreciate her smile. It was a far cry from where they'd been only a few short weeks ago, and Tony was putting quite a bit of effort in not taking any of this for granted. "Wanna go get some coffee with me?" he asked, turning towards Bruce and setting a hand on his shoulder while Pepper and Rhodey babbled at each other.
"Sure," Bruce replied, lacing his fingers with Tony's as he stood up. "I could use a walk."
They walked out of the room without too much fuss since the other two were fairly occupied, and Tony took it upon himself to lead the way. Their hands were tangled loosely in an embrace that dangled between them as they walked, and it was honestly a little strange for Tony to realize that there wasn't even a trace of tension in either of them.
"Pepper seems to be doing much better," Bruce commented, sounding uncharacteristically chirpy. It was a strange sound on him, Tony decided, but it was better than the alternative.
"Yeah, I think she's mostly out of the woods," Tony replied, and it took a little bit of effort to pull Bruce away from the muscle-memory turn towards the cafeteria. "Sophie's on her way, too."
"Who would have thought two weeks ago that we'd be feeling like this, huh?" The comment caught Tony a little off-guard for a moment, and he was stuck wondering what exactly 'like this' was supposed to mean. Sure, things were better—Pepper was fine, and Sophie at least seemed to be on her way to fine, but Tony wasn't totally confident that he could call things okay. For one, he was currently on a quest to drag his boyfriend in to visit the daughter he hadn't seen since she was born a week ago, and that definitely didn't seem okay. But then he turned his head and looked at Bruce's face, saw the soft smile that wasn't laced with any tension or anxiety like it had been for the past five weeks, and Tony softened. Maybe everything wasn't perfect just yet, but seeing a smile like that on Bruce's face, well… it was close. "You realize the cafeteria is the other way, right?" Bruce said, pausing in his steps for a second to gesture in the other direction.
"Yeah, we'll stop there on the way back," Tony said casually, tugging lightly on Bruce's hand to prompt him to follow. He didn't, though, and by the aloof expression on Bruce's face, Tony knew he was in for a struggle here.
"Way back from what?" Bruce asked, even though he definitely already knew the answer.
"We're going to see Sophie." So Tony said it as matter-of-factly as he could. Maybe if he didn't make a big deal about it, Bruce would be more willing to just go along with it and finally get the hard part over with. That was all he could hope for.
But of course, Bruce balked, and Tony sighed. "Are you sure that's a good idea?" the scientist asked, and Tony nearly opened his mouth to dispute it, until Bruce continued to ramble. He'd learned over the years that the easiest way to get Tony to stop rambling was just to ramble himself, apparently. "You and Pepper were just in there with her, she's probably tired, and we know that she needs her rest if she's going to—"
"She's been asleep all morning, I think she's already well-rested," Tony said, easily debunking Bruce's excuse, and he had an arsenal prepared for the rest of them. "How long are you going to avoid this, Bruce?"
Bruce just stood there, his hand limp in Tony's firm grip, contemplative. "I'm not avoiding it," he said, and Tony rolled his eyes in a way that nonverbally expressed bullshit. "I just—I haven't found the right time."
"You've literally had almost 24/7 this entire week to go see her. Right time, really? Do you think Pepper and I had the luxury of waiting for the 'right time' to go see our kid?" Tony didn't mean for it to sound so condescending, but that's probably how it came off if the blank look on Bruce's face was any indication. He was just already so far past this, because as painful as it was for all of them that Sophie wasn't getting off to a perfect start, Tony needed Bruce to just face it already with the rest of them. Honestly, he just needed Bruce. He'd needed Bruce in this from the beginning, but he decided not to analyze how obviously the tables had turned. "Just cut the bullshit, Banner, and come see your daughter with me." Tony turned away then and tugged on Bruce's hand, intending to leave the conversation behind in favor of making some actual progress.
"She's not my daughter."
Then Tony heard that, and he stopped again. Oh, god. Not this. "What?" he asked, turning back to look at Bruce somewhat incredulously. "Yes she is."
"No she's not." Bruce shook his head, and his lips curled into that infamous, humorless smile of his; the one he always wore when he just seemed too tired of fighting, and decided to just accept the bleak future ahead of him. Tony had made it one of his missions to stop that smile from happening, but clearly he hadn't quite gotten there yet. "Not like she's yours."
"Okay, well… duh," Tony said dumbly, but he knew better than to believe that Bruce was referring to biology here. "Unless you were sleeping with Pepper way before we were all sleeping with each other."
Bruce just snorted. "You know what I mean, Tony." Tony just raised his eyebrows and shrugged in that typical attempt at cluelessness he always used to get Bruce to spill, and as much as Bruce had caught on to it, he still fell for it every time. Tony damn well knew it, too. "I'm just not a part of this like you and Pepper are."
"Where is all of this coming from, Bruce?" The previously faked expression of confusion on Tony's face suddenly turned genuine. He let go of Bruce's hand and faced him properly, and he was grateful that this section of the hallway seemed fairly empty. "A couple months ago you were on my ass about being a 'part of this' and going with Pep to her appointments and generally being more of a dad to that kid than I was… and now you're backing out? You're kinda blindsiding me here, Big Guy."
"I'm not backing out," Bruce replied, and Tony pursed his lips at the obvious denial. "That's why I haven't gone to see her yet," he later amended, "it would give me something to back out and run away from."
When Tony paused again, he wasn't sure if the vaguely stunned silence was in response to the sentiment itself or Bruce's troubling word choice. He'd been under the impression that Bruce had gotten over the running thing once he and Tony finally became exclusive (as selfish as it may seem), and if anything, he would have thought that Pepper and now Sophie gave him even more of a reason to stay. Rationally, he knew how unlikely it was that Bruce would leave. Most of the time, though, Tony was an irrational person. "So you're just not even gonna try at all?" he asked.
"I…" Bruce sighed, his eyes turned towards Tony yet still looking past him. "I don't know what I'm going to do." There was an overwhelming sense of dread brewing in the pit of Tony's stomach at the idea that everything they'd been through in the past couple weeks was a lie. Bruce just seemed so content, so happy in a way Tony hadn't seen him until they let Pepper into their relationship. Sure, there had been rough patches when Pepper's complications really set in, but they'd managed—a large part, probably, due to Bruce. "I don't… know, or feel… like I am or should be a part of any of this," Bruce added quietly, and Tony felt like a knife had been plunged straight into his back.
"Are you saying that me and Pepper don't make you feel like a part of this?" Tony asked, the words leaking out unintentionally like the blood from his metaphorical wound.
"No!" Bruce said the word so quickly and concisely that Tony wondered what his expression must have looked like to prompt such an exclamation. Regardless, he was pleased with the answer anyway. "No, god. You two are amazing. I love you both so much, you know that." Bruce hesitated to pull in a breath, and he lifted a hand to shove his glasses back up his nose. "I'm putting down roots, Tony. I always told myself I wouldn't put down roots after the accident. You know… just in case," he started, and Tony felt his stomach twist when he realized where this might be going. "I was fine putting down roots with you. It took a while to be fine with it, but I was. Then I put down even more roots with Pepper. But now there's all of this, and with a baby…" Bruce shrugged, seemingly helplessly. "That's a lot of roots. Deep ones. And that's… that's fucking terrifying."
Tony had seen Bruce conflicted before, seen him about to run, and maybe even talked him out of it once or twice. Bruce was just a conflicted being; it was just his nature, and Tony had seen plenty of it. Not like this, though. Never like this. And the more Tony thought about it, the less sense it made. The fear he got—he was scared, and Pepper was scared, and apparently, Bruce was scared too. But all this talk about roots, about keeping distance "just in case", Tony wasn't able to decipher. Maybe it was because finally getting a glimpse inside Bruce's true thoughts and motivations scared the shit out of him, since it certainly sounded like Bruce wasn't one hundred percent in this.
Tony knew better than that, though. He knew that Bruce definitely was in this. He could see it in the way the man looked at him or at Pepper, feel it in the way Bruce touched him and held him at night. For the moment he thought Bruce might even think of running, it hurt. Knowing the truth that he was just scared to let himself love too much hurt even more.
"Maybe that's what you need," Tony suggested, getting Bruce to look back at him directly by breaking the silence between them. "Roots. You're always saying how much you want a family, Bruce. There's no point in wanting something if you're afraid to get it." He decided not to address the ridiculous amount of hypocrisy in that statement, and instead reached out to take Bruce's hand again, turning back towards the doors that led into the NICU. "Come on, we're going to visit our daughter."
There was some resistance on Tony's arm when he started walking and Bruce continued to stand still, but Tony wasn't having any more of that conversation. Talking could only go so far, actually doing was going to make progress. Finally, the resistance lessened, and Tony stifled a quiet sigh of relief. Now they were getting somewhere.
He could still feel the tension in Bruce's grip when he pulled the man through the doors to the NICU, but honestly, for his part, Tony was even a little nervous himself. His heart always seemed to beat a little faster and out of time whenever he saw Sophie, and he wasn't sure if he would ever get over the rush. He looked back at Bruce, who had visibly paled after entering the room, and resolved himself to get the man into Sophie's corner and away from the array of other tiny, sickly babies as soon as possible. On second thought, Tony could understand why Bruce had made an effort to avoid this area of the hospital.
"There's my girl," Tony said gently as he approached Sophie's crib, letting go of Bruce's hand to gently touch his daughter's little arm. "Yeah, see? She's awake. Told you she had enough rest." A wide grin had appeared on his face, and he turned it onto Bruce a moment later, only to find that the man was still keeping his distance. Tony debated pulling him closer, but even getting him in here in the first place was an accomplishment—he wasn't going to push him, and at the very least, he could see that the corner of Bruce's mouth wanted to twitch into a hesitant smile. He turned his gaze back to Sophie then, and tentatively reached out with the intent to pick her up. "Alright… how do I… I guess I just…?"
"You don't know how to hold your own baby?" Bruce asked skeptically, quirking an eyebrow.
"Okay, in my defense, Pep only got to hold her for the first time this morning," Tony explained as a nurse walked over to him, seeing that he needed some help. "You know I'm not really the baby-holding kind of guy, and the few I have held weren't attached to a bunch of wires that look really important." By the time he finished rambling, the nurse had wrapped the baby in a blanket and was setting her in Tony's arms, and his breath caught in his throat when Sophie was finally wrapped up safely in his arms. "Oh. Okay. Hi. Wow, you're tiny."
She really was. Tony had spent so long only being able to look and not touch that he didn't realize just how small Sophie actually was until he was holding her against his broad chest, and a brief moment of fear washed over him at the prospect that he might break her. All of that melted away though when the little girl squirmed in his arms and rolled her head towards his chest, and Tony could have sworn he saw her smile.
He could feel Bruce's eyes on him, and when he finally built up the strength to look away from Sophie's angelic face, he jerked his head in an attempt to gesture Bruce closer. "You can get closer, you know," he said, "pretty sure she doesn't bite."
"I don't know," Bruce chuckled dryly, shifting on his feet before he took a tiny step in Tony's direction. "I never thought the world would see Tony Stark with a baby, so clearly anything can happen." In the time it took Tony to roll his eyes playfully at the remark, Bruce must have worked up the courage to walk forward and stand next to his boyfriend. Tony heard him audibly inhale when he laid eyes on the baby, and finally it seemed like some of the tension from their earlier conversation had drifted away. "Wow," he breathed, clearly at a loss for any other descriptive words. "She's beautiful, Tony."
"I know. Courtesy of her mother." Tony grinned, twisting to face the other man enough that their daughter was swaddled in the warmth between them. "Well, since you finally got your ass down here officially… Bruce, this is Sophie, and Sophie, this is Bruce, your other dad. And he's gonna hold you now."
"I wouldn't let Pepper hear you running your trash mouth like that around her," Bruce scolded lightly, but before he got a chance to continue Tony had already moved forward and was carefully transferring Sophie to Bruce's arms. He sputtered for a second, caught completely off-guard, but Tony wasn't wasting any time so he instinctively brought his arms up and around the little girl before he could think about it. "Tony, what—"
"Just hold her," Tony said casually, setting his hand on Bruce's shoulder. "She's yours."
Bruce's face was still tight with worry and something close to fear, and rather than feeding it by talking too much, Tony just left his hand on Bruce's arm and waited. Waited for Bruce's hands to finally stop shaking, waited for him to finally realize that though the tiny new life in his arms was delicate, she wasn't going to break. It took a good several minutes, but Bruce eventually seemed to soften, and Tony's lips curled into a gentle smile.
Tony's hand left Bruce's warm shoulder for a minute to grab a couple of plastic chairs and drag them over. He sat down and gestured Bruce to do the same, and the man complied without once taking his eyes off Sophie. "Still afraid of those roots?" he asked, and it took a few seconds for Bruce to register the words before he shook his head.
"I don't know," Bruce said quietly, taking Sophie's hand between two of his much larger fingers as he looked up at Tony for the first time in several minutes. "I don't think so."
"Yeah." Tony just smiled and patted his back. "Doesn't take very long for her to get you wrapped, huh?"
"Not at all," Bruce chuckled, and his smile only widened when Sophie gurgled and squirmed in his arms. Tony was fairly sure that Bruce still had a long way to go before he was completely fine with the situation at hand, but at the very least they were off to a good start. For now, though, Tony decided that this moment was too good, too pure to ruin with overthinking, so he just leaned over and pressed a lingering kiss to the side of Bruce's head.
Tony didn't bother keeping track of the time after that, since he was far too focused on just how beautiful Bruce's face was when he was actually, genuinely happy, but he was startled out of his trance by a slender hand landing on his shoulder.
"Well, would you look at that," Pepper said, standing behind where the two of them were seated. "Bruce finally took the plunge." The smile was audible in her voice, and Tony was sure he detected a trace of relief in her words as he watched her ruffle Bruce's hair with her other hand.
"Yeah, had to pull a few teeth, but I got him down here. Didn't take too long for Soph to claim her next victim," Tony replied, and he stifled a chuckle when he noticed Bruce's expression turn sheepish. He twisted in his chair to look at Pepper, noticing that she was dressed in her definition of street clothes and looking much more like herself than she had in the past week. "What, did Rhodes ditch you already?"
"No. He actually went to go get some coffee since you two were taking so long," Pepper chastised, giving Tony's shoulder a gentle pinch. "But I figured I might find you here."
"That predictable, huh?" Bruce asked, looking up at her with a smirk of his own.
"Yep." Pepper smiled sweetly and brushed another unruly lock of hair from Bruce's face that was probably a result of her mussing it in the first place, but she really didn't mind the harmless force of habit. "Did Tony ask you about the name thing yet?" she asked, glancing down her daughter still wrapped safely in Bruce's arms.
"Name thing?" Bruce asked, twisting in his chair to look curiously between the other two. Sophie made a small noise that sounded close to a squeal when his attention was taken off of her, even if only for a second, and Bruce had to smirk at how she was clearly already taking after Tony. "I thought you two already had that covered."
"If you call arguing for four and a half days 'having it covered', then yeah, we had it covered," Tony said, and Pepper rolled her eyes behind him where he couldn't see the action.
"It wouldn't have taken that long if you'd given up on the ridiculous suggestions a lot sooner," Pepper replied, and turned her attention back to Bruce before her and Tony could devolve into another fit of bickering. "We want you to pick her middle name," she sad to Bruce, watching his expression shift. "I know it might not seem like much…"
"No, no, that's…" Bruce shook his head, looking back down at Sophie again. "That's more than enough." He could feel Tony and Pepper both looking at him expectantly, waiting for him to continue, but Bruce had to take a step back and just absorb all of this again. He'd gotten swept away in how phenomenal it felt to actually be let in to this part of Tony and Pepper's lives, and for the many minutes he'd been holding their daughter he'd almost forgotten about the conversation he'd had with Tony earlier. Roots. Meeting Sophie had already plunged some of those into the ground, and Bruce had apparently decided that he was fine with that. Giving her another name, though, a name he'd always thought he'd give to his own daughter—that was something entirely different.
But Tony was right, he told himself. Sophie was his daughter. Maybe it wasn't traditional or normal or even understandable for most, but she was. Hell with the roots, he decided. He'd already laced his life with too many to run away now.
"Rebecca," he finally said, holding the little girl closer when the name left his lips. "I'd like it to be Rebecca, if that's all right with both of you."
Tony and Pepper exchanged a glance, and Bruce held his breath until the two of them shared a gentle smile and Pepper leaned over to kiss his cheek. "Rebecca it is, then," she said against his ear, "perfect name for our perfect daughter."
Bruce just hummed in agreement, letting himself bask in the warmth from the two bodies close beside him as he watched Sophie's clear blue eyes slowly flutter shut. Yeah, he thought, he could live with roots. Roots were fine if it was with them.