The update was delayed because life decided to keep me busy.
Here it is the second part of the chapter that brings a new point to this story.
Glad you're enjoying this statement!
More than a woman
Chapter 8: You win again – Part 2
They were back at the main room after a long and shamelessly delicious time together in his bathroom.
CC found the opportunity perfect to ask Niles about his toiletries, requiring a detailed explanation of what he used, why and (after some not very subtle innuendo on her part) where.
She enjoyed every moment of his playful demonstrations, and decided to hint at the possibility of bringing her massage oils for them to use.
CC was really curious to know how Niles would react and, as she had guessed, he took the idea with that childish enthusiasm she found incredibly endearing: his raised brows, bright blue eyes and huge grin made her see another side of his usually proper persona.
It had always intrigued her to behold his sincere joy. It was almost as if the prankster had the heart of a little boy, what was not that incoherent; however, it was confusing that CC, his usual victim, would cherish the moments when it shone through. It made more and more difficult for her to see Niles as just the domestic who had decided to be her declared enemy when his soul was exposed in a moment of untamed glee.
And the colors of that soul hinted at a beautiful human being – one she never expected to find devoted to her.
When he made her promise a similar demonstration (what, why and, specially, where) as soon as possible, CC answered with such a heartfelt promise that she was aware of the change in temperature in her chest.
Her heart was soaring in fondness.
It troubled her that she would feel so invested in such a thing as a playful conversation over personal products: they were making small plans, not taking life-changing decisions.
However, now she realized that making small plans meant their lives were converging.
They were already thinking in terms of us.
People can break promises, as CC knew very well; exactly because of that, imagining what they wanted to do together, discovering what both enjoyed and how their habits fit in the other's routine, felt way more real than any promises could be.
It was frightening how strong their bonds were becoming, and how quickly.
They were just joking about his vanities in a moment, and in the other she surprised herself looking at Niles' smile and asking herself how she had never noted how sweet it was.
Maybe it was so easy to like him when he was happy like this that she would not be able to put a limit to it.
It was easy to feel safe knowing he was happy because of her and would not change his mind.
It was frightening.
CC felt a wave of feelings while looking at Niles' suddenly younger face in front of her: he was commenting something over his choice of cologne, and suddenly she was taken by belonging, tenderness, companionship, comfort.
She found herself suppressing a fit of crying at how good and intimate it felt being there with him making small talk.
To break the moment and not dwell too much in something she couldn't quite digest, she walked to the shower, throwing a nonchalant invitation over her shoulder.
Niles gladly accepted, hurrying to turn on the water and put his hand under it.
When he decided it was warm enough, he extended his hand to her.
His gesture of waiting for the water to get acceptably hot, ask for her hand and take it softly in his to test the water and make sure she approved of it had so many levels of care she was overwhelmed again.
CC muttered something agreeable, turned to take the soap and the deep red sponge with her free hand and turned to him, keeping her eyes down in an attempt to sort her feelings out before engaging in conversation again.
When she finally lifted her eyes, she saw Niles, standing very close and in front of her, his head inclined in her direction as if he wanted to get so close that he could see what she was thinking.
He was focused on her as if she was the most important thing in his world.
She was not used to adoration. Specially in the moments when she felt more fragile and exposed.
Being exposed always had meant tension, being associated to the possibility of mocking, rejection and guilt. Showing her emotions plainly had been a source of apprehension to CC, since forever.
But now, when she had tried to conceal her feelings, Niles could see them anyway, and here he was, contemplating it as if it was beautiful, while waiting for her while she decided what to do.
How was it possible to transmit so much support in one look?
Her first impulse was to dismiss it all and make a joke. Both knew what was going on, there was no need to deal with it.
However, after a moment looking into his loving eyes, CC gave up resisting the surge of tenderness and hugged Niles tightly.
He chuckled affectionately in her ear, hugging her back, and she knew he had understood what she was exposing and hiding at the same time with the gesture: that with her, sometimes, things would not be said, just admitted in other ways.
And he was content with it.
What she had to offer was enough to make him happy.
When the feeling menaced becoming words – ones she was not sure she wanted to say – CC started using the sponge to wash Niles' back, pretending she had been intending to start there since the beginning.
He hummed his approval and rubbed against her playfully, then parted from her, grinning, said a soft Let me help you with it and turned his back for her to make a show of washing him.
They showered with an absurd quantity of touches and caresses and eyes into eyes and hands exploring bodies (with more curiosity and tenderness than lust, now), and it felt like this could be a delicious activity included in their routines for the rest of their lives.
When they were back to the bedroom, high-spirited, nude and refreshed, Niles gestured for CC to wait aside for a moment, 'I'll change the bed linen, dear. It's all gooey from our sweet games'.
He had to wait with the fresh sheets on his arms for a while, because she sat on the corner of the bed, grabbing her sides in silent laughter.
He scoffed, 'I see your words about me not being ridiculous were just a lie'.
'Sorry', she managed to say between fits of laughter, 'It just sounded damn funny', she got up and wiped the tears from her eyes, imitating his accent, 'our sweet games'.
'Uhmpf', was his French offended answer, leaving the new sheets on the armchair to take off the used ones.
He walked around the bed and passed by her, who was standing at the feet of it. Niles bumped on CC just to have the opportunity to manhandle her and rub bodies again, 'Oh, I'm sorry! How clumsy of me!', he spoke and pulled her to him, kissing her through his grin.
She giggled and slapped his ass, 'Stop the harassing'.
'Really?', he asked with that lopsided grin.
'Of course not', she answered with a last squeeze on his buttocks, 'Just finish your job, butler, so we can go back to bed'.
He nodded, pecked her lips and proceeded.
'So', she said, licking her lips and watching him put the used sheets aside deftly, 'Why did you not tell them about us?'
Niles frowned for a moment, asking himself what was the subject she was resuming, then understood, 'You mean the Sheffields?'
'Yes', she crossed her arms, 'I thought you would want to yell the news from the rooftops as soon as you had the chance'.
'You're the one here that howls to the moon, dumpling', Niles was opening the fresh sheets, 'I'm not used to climb to high places to spread news, contrary to the broadcast method of your species'.
She grinned at him focused on a task and still able to zinger her, 'I see your point, but I'm sincerely confused at your decision of not telling them. You all behave as family to everything, specially in the worst sense of the term – the sharing secrets and intruding in each others' business part. I can't get why you suddenly decided to leave them out of the loop'.
Niles supported a knee on the edge of the bed, working on a pillowcase, 'I had to talk to you before disclosing anything. There is a lot at stake'.
'All of this to preserve the family from the trauma of discovering things changed between us?'
'I'm not thinking just of the household', he finished with the first pillow, let go of it and took the second one, 'Mrs. Sheffield has an amazing ability for spreading news. I pondered you must have some reserves over how your family should be informed of any relationship of yours'.
He finished speaking and let go of the second pillow slowly, as if he had suddenly realized something.
Niles looked at CC, and she was pursing her lips, her brow frowned.
He was immediately regretful, 'I'm sorry. I didn't mean to speak like that'.
'Uhm?', she frowned more, now looking at him.
'I just assumed...', his shoulders dropped, and he looked down at his joined fingertips, 'I supposed we were... That we are...'
He made a gesture between them, and she realized what he was trying to say, 'Oh, Niles', she made a nonchalant wave of hand, 'I have no idea how to proceed and what is ahead for us, but we are together'.
'Really?', he looked at her hopefully.
She made a gesture of Isn't it obvious? and pointed at him, 'Of course, it doesn't help that you find yourself in this kind of situation so often with me'.
He didn't get her meaning immediately, but looked down at himself and realized he had knelt on the bed – what meant kneeling in front of her and invoking images of marriage proposals.
Embarrassed, he straightened his back, got out of the bed, composed his face and turned away to put the pillows on the armchair and have the bed empty for the under sheet. The maneuver took more time than necessary for a practiced person as him, and showed how the moment had been troubling.
CC found amusing that Niles would feel disconcerted when she pointed out how he behaved towards her, at that point in their...
Oh, well. Maybe I should put it in words. Maybe he needs to hear it.
'Of course we are in a relationship', she said with decision, feeling glad to be able to name it and find a somewhat neutral word, 'And you don't have to be afraid to say it, even if it's new to me and sometimes it's obvious I'm still kind of terrified'.
CC spoke and tilted her head in surprise: just expressing her feelings on the subject made her feel better about them.
No doubts this situation had great potential to be dangerous: it felt too easy.
Niles turned back to her, obviously relieved at her direct approach, 'Speaking of it... I must ask you something'.
'God, make it not be a proposal', CC said, closing her eyes as if praying.
'No, it's not. I understand this is not the moment to try again', he threw her a sideways look, 'However, it's related to it'.
She just squinted at him.
Niles threw the new bottom sheet in the air, waited for it to fall and then climbed the bed to start spreading it, 'You still didn't answer my question from earlier'.
'Which one?'
'Why you thought you couldn't marry me, in the first place'.
CC stayed silent, observing his muscles stretching when he got on his fours to extend the sheet and adjust it on the corners of the bed. The side of his was turned to her, and she enjoyed the curves and shapes of his body, strong and, at the same time, flexible, 'It felt like I had one thousand reasons, some hours ago; now I don't know if any of them would stay standing after closer inspection'.
'Would you mind sharing some of them with me?'
'Think you can tear them apart?'
'One can hope'.
She nodded and started walking to the side of the bed, 'The main point was that I was sure you would not want me when you knew about my body, but you already proved me wrong', she stopped in front of him, 'However, even if I'm really happy, now, it's still too new and confusing'.
Niles sat on his heels and supported his torso on his fists, raising his eyes intentionally slow and enjoying the sight of her naked body, 'How is it confusing?'
CC sustained his stare, feeling desired and, at the same time, desiring to reach out to touch all of him again, 'I feel we belong together, but this intimacy is making me aware of how little I know about you'.
'We already know a lot about each other', he contested, softly, 'Even if we were not at our most charming since we met, we have been quite close'.
'But not seriously considering this kind of relationship'.
'I have, for years'.
'I haven't'.
He nodded, resigned, lowered his eyes back to the task and resumed the tidying.
CC knew he was hiding his disappointment and not pressing her for a direct answer.
Thus, she wanted to give it to him.
'I'm not saying I was not intrigued by you, much less that I was not interested. And, of course, I am not saying that I didn't like you or feel aroused by you'.
He just nodded.
CC started walking around the bed again.
Niles stopped for a moment, following her movements with the corner of his eye, and resumed his actions, 'Then what are you saying?'
'What I'm saying is that I always thought it was all in my imagination. I never spent any time thinking of how things would work out in reality, because I never really considered us a reality – just good stuff for fantasies'.
'You fantasized about me?', Niles asked, still working, but smiling that boyish smile.
'A lot more than I should, you being the pest you are', CC smiled, too.
She stopped walking when she reached the spot where she had been before, at the foot of the bed, back again to that privileged point of view where she could enjoy the sight of him.
Since when had she started to look at Niles as if he was a work of art?
Since when was she capable of enjoying another person so strongly?
Scaring. Really.
'I need time, Niles. I need to get used to it. And I need to know that we have things clear between us'.
'I'm sorry if to me everything is already clear', he sounded grumpy, moving on his fours, 'I may be too brilliant'.
She shook her head at his sarcasm, 'Yes, I have this sense that we understand each other and feel the same things, too, but I need the rational part of it… I need to know we have things clear. And just time will rise the questions that will decide if we still want to make it work'.
'I can't think of any questions to ask you'.
'Am I that disinteresting?', CC crossed her arms in playful challenge.
'You know you're the opposite of disinteresting, to me', Niles answered, very serious, still focused on his work.
'Now I get it', she put a hand over her heart in mocking surprise, 'You just want my body!'
He stopped to look at her, his brows raised.
She was making an awed face, 'Never thought I'd say that'.
Niles smirked, 'If you want to know, yes, there are times when all I can think of is your body', he went back to his task, 'A creature who feeds on souls should not criticize. To each its own'.
It was her time to chuckle and get all warmed again at his light teasing.
CC, feeling fond of Niles, didn't resist the temptation – his naked body exposed to her, muscles stretching in coordinated movements, hands expertly solving any creases in the sheets, sharp mind expressing itself through a melodious voice –, and walked again, until she reached the spot by the side of the bed precisely behind him.
Niles was distracted, now, giving the finishing touches on the sheet and, still on his fours, moved backward while inspecting the quality of his work.
CC bit her lower lip at his back moving towards her.
It was clear that he trusted her completely, not worried at all that his former sworn enemy was at his back, and just focused in creating the perfect nest for them.
She approached silently.
When he reached the edge of the bed and straightened his back, supporting himself just on his knees, she gave the last step.
His body tensed for a moment, feeling her very close to his backside.
CC lifted her hands, rested her fingertips on his shoulders and started slowly bringing them down, tracing the curves of the muscles on his back.
When she reached his buttocks, she palmed them, pressing slightly.
He stayed still, his breathing slightly changed.
She lifted her hands from him and went the way up on his back again, this time feeling his skin with her knuckles.
His breathing stopping in anticipation.
'Relax', she whispered.
He did so, closing his eyes, breathing deeply, releasing the air slowly and separating his knees further to get better leverage and make space for her to get closer.
CC reached his shoulders again, kneaded them to make him even more relaxed, and started descending her hands – this time, grazing his skin with her nails.
Niles shivered at the sharper approach.
When her hands reached the curve of his lower back, feathering touches on the beginning of the mounds of his buttocks, CC seized the spot he had created when he separated his knees, and glued her front to his back.
Both froze for a moment, basking in the contact.
Her cock was pressing against his rear, her breasts on his back, her nose on his hair to feel the scent of the products she had just helped him to use.
Her hands reached around, touching the front of his thighs, and then finding his hands, that were covering his middle.
CC bit Niles' shoulder.
He whimpered.
'Let go', she ordered.
He took his hands away.
She replaced them with hers, feeling how hard he had become.
She nuzzled his neck and nibbled at his ear while enjoying his length, pulsating in her hold. She was fascinated by the pleasure at feeling dominant.
So, her empowerment in this relationship was not just related to her body image, the feel of being seen as beautiful, or the right to make big decisions? It could be extended to any thing they decided to do together? It reached any desire of exploration of his body she ever had?
She needed time, really, to think about it.
After a soothing kiss on the side of his neck and smelling his scent one more time, CC gave a step back and caressed his rear, asking in such a delicate tone that it sounded almost patronizing, 'Are you finished, there?'
Niles opened his eyes and looked around, getting out of his haze and blushing, 'Uhm, yes', he cleared his throat and straightened his back further, 'Yes, it's done'.
He started moving hesitantly, as if looking for a way to conceal his erection once, for some reason, he still considered it was not a good moment to sport it.
She noticed it and ordered, low, 'Just lie down on your back'.
Niles turned his head to look at her face.
There was no real hesitance – he just wanted to make sure he had got it right.
Their eyes locked and CC felt like she was able to make him obey her by the sheer force of will – he saw what she wanted him to do, nodded and did it.
'So', she quickly climbed the bed and covered his body with hers, 'You don't think we have anything else to discover?'
He had his eyes firmly set on hers, 'What I think is that there is nothing that could be an impeditive for us to be together. I'm sure whatever we come to find out about the other will fit in what we already know'.
CC stayed looking intensely at Niles' eyes.
If she stayed quiet for a moment more, he would probably zinger her for trying to see through his soul.
'I'll probably never be able to have children', she said, suddenly.
'I beg your pardon?'
'I have a working uterus, but a very irregular cycle. I'll probably never be able to get pregnant'.
'Why are you mentioning it now?'
'Because this is one of the things you don't know and could matter'.
'Oh', Niles understood, 'It does, in the sense that it would be wonderful to have a child with you. I'm sure you would make a terrific mother, with peculiar methods and a never ending source of amusement for our little miracle'.
He smiled at her and CC felt her eyes moisten.
'However', he caressed her chin, 'I'm sure we can build a beautiful and complete relationship even if we end up not having children', he frowned, changing his tone of voice to one of curiosity, 'Would you be able to impregnate another person?'
CC raised her brows in surprise at the question, 'No, my sperm count is too low'.
He nodded, 'Thank God. Can you believe the scandal if I appeared sporting a pregnant belly?'
Her mouth was agape for a moment.
Then, she raised her body in a flash to take a pillow and hit him, 'That's not funny!'
It obviously was, because she was laughing while she attacked him, kneeling between his legs, the relief and gratitude at his playful approach showing.
'Hey, stop it!', Niles was laughing, too, while trying to block her with his arms, 'At least now I get why the non-stop PMSing!'
'Get used to it!', she grinned, still hitting him.
The subtle promise of a long term thing gave Niles a jolt of energy: he lifted his legs and circled CC's waist with them, crossing his ankles behind her buttocks, managing to bring her closer and grabbing her weapon.
He threw the pillow away and pulled her for some kisses that she entwined with menaces of what she intended to do with him if he didn't behave.
When she murmured something over using the pillow again to hit his hard head, both looked around for it and realized it had went too far on the floor.
'Aren't you going to retrieve it?', Niles challenged.
'I want to, but then I'd have to get out of here'.
'And you wouldn't want to do it?'
'No', she said, relaxing her body on top of his, as she had done before, 'I'm so comfortable', she kissed him, then wiggled her hips, 'Besides, you're the one keeping me in place'.
The movement of her hips made her body brush the region between his legs provocatively. His eyes went dark, and his voice, low, 'Want me to let go?'
CC felt it meant more than it seemed to, and kissed him softly, 'No way', she smiled into their kiss, 'It's really nice'.
They kept kissing, her hands on his hair, his on her back and advancing until they found her ass and kneaded it, indicating he enjoyed the way their bodies were touching.
The way Niles fondled CC, moving his hips against her, moaning deeply and kissing her passionately made clear he enjoyed this reversed position, in fact, way more than she had expected.
She had to ask.
She feared his reaction, but she had to ask.
'Speaking of me impregnating you, and all this reversed genders stuff…', she started.
'Uhm?', Niles more moaned than spoke, moving his hips in a maddening way.
They were so aroused that maybe she shouldn't bring the subject, but she was too curious.
He was sucking at her neck while his hands did wonders to her back, what made dialogue difficult, but the urge to know was getting the best of her, 'I have something to ask you'.
'Do it', he whispered, pulling her impossibly closer.
She shivered, 'I hope you don't take me wrong'.
'I won't', he promised between very well placed licks in her neck.
CC breathed deeply in his scent, grabbing the sheets to gather some control.
She was summoning her courage and trying to find the best phrasing for her question, 'Niles…'
'What is it?', he prompted, nibbling at her ear.
She had to ask.
'Are you gay?'