I own nothing of Dragon Age. Just my BAMF Amilee. :)
So many points I wanna touch on, but I have neither the time nor the patience. I hope it is enough for you. Read and review!
"Just an outline made of skin, yet my walls are paper thin, I wanna let you color me in, feel like I'm drowning from the sound, of all the silence all around, my thoughts are bound, I'm going down, I'm turning inside out..." -Hourglass by Zed, Liz
It was a jovial and embarrassingly spastic reunion for Amilee and Dagna, the dwarf she had urged Aedan Cousland to advocate to the Circle of Ferelden eleven years prior. The short mage and the even shorter arcanist spent at least two hours in the Undercroft planning out where she'd put all her smiting tables and enchantment apatratus, catching up on general gossip, and drawing out a rough blueprint for her new runestone. Once they figured out how long it would take, Amilee sought to locate the companions assigned to her to inform them of their departure to the Hinterlands three days hence.
Earlier that week, Herah and her had sat down and mapped out when and where they would scout and investigate as well as who they would take with them for the majority of their missions.
Since the Inquisitor was the only one of the two able to close the rifts, it was decided that she would benefit most having Solas with her, his knowledge of the Rifts and Fade invaluable. Since Amilee and Vivienne's spat in Haven, the two had avoided each other out of mutual understanding that neither of them would see eye to eye, although apologies were made out of respect. She would remain with the Inquisitor as her second mage on hand.
In retrospect, Dorian would accompany Amilee since she only needed one other mage, besides herself.
Varric was practically family for Amilee and would obviously prefer to look out for her, as well as Cole, whom Amilee would be able to keep an eye on at all times. Out of necessity and consideration for the blonde elf's sheer dislike for Cole, Herah would keep Sera on hand for lockpicking and other rogue abilities.
Cassandra was asked herself which of the two she preferred. After a obscene amount of disgusted noises and reasonable argument, she opted to stick with Amilee to make sure "the dwarf" and "the demon" kept in line. Blackwall, having the same weapon skills, would go with Herah in turn.
The only companion left then was The Iron Bull and since Saytie was already skilled in two handed combat, as well as the fact he wasn't fond of demons, they opted for him to remain with Amilee's team, away from the majority of demonic encounters. It also meant the Chargers would be retained under Amilee's command, for the most part, although for this first particular venture, a small group was required.
It was easy enough to track down and debrief the rest of her company, but once she began looking for Cole, the small mage began to worry. She followed the hum of course, but it seemed every time she got close enough to spot the young man, he would teleport and pop up on the other side of the hold. As if he were avoiding her.
She grew worried and quite frankly, annoyed until finally she gave up, after three hours of chasing him. She settled for just leaving a note on the nightstand in his assigned quarters, summarizing when they would leave and that she was none too happy with his behavior.
Two days passed by in a mediocre blur of twiddling her thumbs during two meetings with a few nobles from Orlais, receiving a few of the commissions for her room, reading in her room by herself, unless Dorian dropped in to join her, and trying to ferret out answers from the others as to why Cole felt the need to evade her. She at least maintained her composure well enough when she received no answers that the others didn't catch on she was fuming over it.
She knew it was ridiculous to let one person's evasion effect her mood so drastically, but as the hours of the third day wore on, Amilee became increasingly pissed off, barring herself in her quarters. Out of desperation and a good deal of frustrated pacing in her living room, she stooped to sending her newly assigned elven messenger with her very first, very angry missive for him. Apparently, that's all it took for him to show up at her doorstep.
He had knocked on the door instead of just entering and she had thrown it open, expecting a recounting of his refusal, which had thrown her off momentarily.
The recovery was quick though and she growled at him, "It's about damn time!"
"Frail and fretting, just want to do the job right, serve well, like my mother for the Arl, but the Guardian is so sullen, severe, shaken. You scared Naran because your mad at me. That wasn't right," he chastised solemnly, as he held her crumpled letter in his hand. His expression was dark, but his frown was more pensive than angry.
With a great huff, she snapped back, "You wanna talk about what's not right? How about avoiding a friend without any explanation as to why."
"I didn't know what say to you," he murmured, bowing his head. "You shouldn't have scared her. She's thinking about leaving now."
She crossed her arms defensibly, a odd feeling that she was missing something important setting her on edge. "I will apologize to her when I see her again. Do you know what you want to say to me now?"
His back was stiff and his answer was short. "Yes. I am... upset with you."
Her brow furrowed with confusion and her ire deflated. "What? Why?"
Bringing his hand up briskly, he held out what she had assumed was her letter. Upon further inspection, she realized it was a report for Leliana from a scout named Walker, detailing his search for Rhys and Evangeline. She paled when she realized this and tried to backpedal. "Cole, I-"
He spoke over her, his voice low and accusing, "You ignored me. I asked you not to do it and you still did. Why didn't you listen to me?"
"I just... I wanted to at least make sure they were okay for you. It's not like I advertised your presence or anything-"
"That's not why I'm mad," he countered, gesturing with a wave. "It is good they are getting the help they need, but that doesn't make it good that you did the opposite of what I asked."
Amilee sighed then and walked over to her new set of furniture in the corner, taking a seat on the plush red davenport.
He followed and stood before her, waiting expectantly.
She took a moment to collect her thoughts before she explained. "Look. It... it wasn't just for you, it was for me too." She tugged her cloak off and leaned her elbows on her knees, offering him a pointed gaze. "Maybe right now you didn't care to know, but someday, maybe years from now, you might wish you had. Take it from someone with experience, not knowing what happened to someone you care about feels just as bad as finding out they're dead. Because then it's not just sadness you feel. It's guilt from not having looked for them sooner, wondering that if you had tried just a little bit harder, you could have-" She cut of her train of thought before she revealed too much, cradling her forehead in her hands. "I just... I didn't want that for you," she whispered. "I'm sorry I betrayed your trust."
After a few minutes of silence, Cole began to wring his fingers together. "I accept your apology. Thank you for.. saving them. And I'm sorry I avoided you."
She looked back up at him, her expression imploring. "You don't have to hide your negative feelings from me, hun. It's not wrong to express them as long as you communicate appropriately."
"Betrayal is... I know of it, but never felt it before. It felt like it does when I want to hit someone, but more ache, less burning. I didn't want to want to hit you, but I didn't know what I would do if you got to me," he muttered lowly.
She chuckled at that. "Probably hit something else, I'm sure. Although I would prefer you didn't break your hand on the wall to prove a point."
He nodded once. "Yes, that would hurt."
At that she laughed, making him smile and the tension between the two dissipated. "It's just another way to get to know each other, when people argue. For instance, now I know you're mad at me when you play keep away."
Another single nod from him let her know he understood. "And you get angry if I don't tell you what's wrong. I will try not to hide it again."
"It's okay to take some time to collect your thoughts before arguing. Just don't do it for two whole days. Cause honestly? After running around like I did, I wanted to hit you too." With another sigh, she sat back and smirked up at him. "Did you get my note about our mission at least?"
"Yes," he replied back mildly. "We leave tomorrow. I feel... excited but also scared."
She acknowledged this. "It'll be the first time you go out and explore the world. Along with people you aren't used to being around." She patted the seat next to her, knowing since things were back to normal between them, they could discuss further as to what would be expected. "As long as you keep an eye out and learn to work with the team, you'll do just fine."
-Two weeks later-
Nothing was fine. In fact everything had gone to hell as soon as Amilee's team set foot in the Hinterlands.
First, while they were finishing the establishment of camps in every feasible corner of the region, they strayed deep into a dragon's nest.
The Iron Bull was unbearably ecstatic, pointing and waving at a great Ferelden Frostback as it flew high overhead. "Hey look boss, a dragon!"
In hindsight, a dragonling had ambushed them, firing it's hot breath upon him. At this, Varric had retorted loudly, "Hey look Bull, I'm on fire!"
Then, much to Amilee's embarrassment, she had to track down a ram named Lord Woolsley for some idiot who thought the creature was not only good luck for the family, but could... give advice. Wonders of Thedas never ceased. Never mind the druffalo they had to track down and lead home, although Amilee thought it was adorable when Cole would speak it's thoughts.
Then there was the freaky grandpa demon, frigging bear hunting, a multitude of bandits and hidden treasure they had to locate. The cherry on top of the Hinterland's sundae? Having to report to a man in the Winterwatch Tower that his lover was dead and convincing him that instead of wallowing in despair, he should join the Inquisition as an agent. Thankfully, Cassandra had taken over for that last one. Amilee hated giving bad news like that.
The only consolation in all of this was that the team seemed to work very well together, despite having completely different backgrounds. When it was time for them make their way back to Skyhold, everyone was far more easygoing and comfortable with each other. While good company was hard to find in this world, those few who managed to adapt to each other made travel much more rewarding. And when you camped with said people for long periods of time, you got to learn about their true character fairly quickly.
Varric and Amilee would take turns reading to Cole every night before everyone, except the spirit, turned in to their tents. Dorian and The Iron Bull would keep up friendly arguments and play cards. Cassandra would try to keep to herself or discuss the next move with Amilee, although The Iron Bull had a way of getting under her skin to goad her into light sparring sessions. Amilee and Dorian would talk about magic practices and her adaptation of science mixed with magical theory, all in Tevene of course, which drove Cassandra nuts. Cole would accompany Amilee when she would wander off to forage for food and herbs, which gave them plenty of one on one time for random conversation.
All in all, while the missions themselves had been quite taxing, Amilee discovered her nightmares had all but ceased and the walls she had erected around her heart were slowly ebbing away. She was both thrilled and terrified by this revelation. Because while on one hand, she was developing a team that could rival that of Garrett and Aedan's handiwork, she was also finding herself more and more attached to everyone, including Cole... as complicated as her life was, he'd been through just as much with a lot less support. She didn't want to rely on him for emotional support, even though she cared for him deeply.
When a great bear had stumble upon their tent one evening, having almost brought Cole down underneath it, Amilee had tanked the beast, using her driving force to shove it off a cliff. When The Iron Bull had jokingly nicknamed her Mama Bear, she decided to let it stick.
Better her friends think of her as a mother figure for "the kid" than a poor, lovestruck idiot. And he find out...
Everything feels like filler for me except when it comes to the relationship between Amilee and Cole. Gah!
Reviews and Faves welcome!