I own nothing of Dragon Age. Just Amilee.

Well, I'm getting it together again. Back on track, though it took how many months? Let me know what you think. Enjoy!

"All she's got is the way he looks, many miles on the other side, he had overheard her choice, then he delved off the cliffside, sacrifice he just wants to help, holds the world like a baby, takes his mask off and lulls his head, then she sees him on the screen.." -Let it Be, by Blackmill

-One Week Later-

If it weren't for the fact she had the balance of Thedas to worry over, Amilee would have thrown in the towel and walked off with a resounding Fuck this shit!

They'd just recieved a missive that they'd be staying another two weeks until the bulk of the Inquisition forces would arrive with borrowed sappers and trebuchets to take on Adamant Fortress, where Erimond and the Wardens were preparing a demon army. Suffice it to say, Amilee was pissed beyond measure and was already plotting the many ways she would kill that damned squirrely bastard when she got her hands on him. The last thing in the world she wanted to do was go back to that wretched place.

After fuming for a good half day, she promptly sought out her companions and broke the news. She also added that they would be taking on more acquisitions and quests while they waited. Anything to distract herself from the upcoming march upon that hellhole.

Meanwhile, Cassandra was called back to meet up with the other advisors and the Chargers were sent word of a new mission, which would take them from the front lines for a good three months. She was enjoying her time with them all despite the location and it was honestly really inconvenient they had to leave... Or so she thought.

Krem's nose curled in disgust as he sat next to her on a high wall and read what Amilee had handed to him. "So some noble lady in Ferelden needs company on her round trip to the Free Marches. And out of all the mercenaries you have, we are the ones that have to go?"

"She requested you specifically. By name, as you can see. Apparently you made quite the impression on her cousin when you escorted her to Orlais," Amilee joked, nudging the warrior lightly with her elbow. "Something tells me she might have a thing for you. Anyways, we have to maintain good graces with this family, so there's really no other choice."

"Eh, well... This is actually good timing," Krem sighed as he suddenly stared off into the distance.

Her brow furrowed in momentary confusion. She'd never seen the warrior so despondent. "Why? Is something wrong?"

He shrugged and took a few moments before answering. "I'd been trying to wrap my head around it, you know. Who it could be."

"Who it could be?" she parroted

He gave her a sidelong glance and a feigned smirk, which she recalled he would do usually when he was about to give someone bad news. "The lucky dog who holds your heart."

"Krem..." she began to admonish, intent upon lecturing him about how clear she had been before.

"I figured it out though," he continued as he folded the missive and tucked it into his vestment. "Like you said then, you couldn't tell anyone, because you didn't want who it was to find out. At first I was puzzled. I figured, you'd have to be around them all the time if you always had to keep it to yourself. But then, if you trust us all, why couldn't you tell the rest?"

Her blood ran cold, her breath hitching in fear.

"And then I got to thinking. If you can't tell any of us, even though you know none of us would say a damn thing to save their life, then its gotta be someone who could figure it out without be told... The Iron Bull is really good about knowing what someone feels, but even he can't even tell we aren't really together, so he's out."

She took a death grip of her cloak, hoping he'd pick wrong. But Krem was smart.

"Then there's Varric, but I figured you two would have gotten together long ago. He's a sucker for all that romance shit he writes. You'd be two peas in a pod if you had the notion for him. So I scratched him off the list too." With a flourish of his hand he added, "And Dorian, pfft! You know well enough not to fall for him... But then, I saw you with the kid up here on the wall the other day. And I saw that smile you only ever give to him."

All color drained from Amilee's face and she slumped forward, bringing her hands to her face. This is it, she thought. She had finally exhausted all efforts to keep her secret. It's only a matter of time now.

"At first glance it looks like the smile of a friend, just overly affectionate, like a sister or mother. But if you look close, the smile doesn't reach your eyes. There's no one else who gets along with that gangly limbed spirit boy more than you. So why would looking at him always make you feel sad."

He shifted as if he was uncomfortable, picking at the armor plate on his thigh absently. "It was then that it hit me. It's not sadness... It's longing." He rubbed his face then ran his fingers through his hair as though frustrated by the revelation. "We all spend so much time treating him like he is a kid, no one would ever guess you actually see him as a man. But it's right there, if you know to look for it."

"And you're right. If you told just one of us? All it would take is that one person thinking about it and him listening in." Snapping his fingers, he finally looked at her. "And he would know."

She couldn't bear looking at him. Head still lowered in shame, she whispered pleadingly, "Krem, please."

"Hey." His hand came round and brought her face up, his thumb wiping away an errant tear. "I'm not saying you shouldn't feel this way. I'm saying I get it now. He's a good kid, Amilee. He's sharper than we give him credit for but he's had a rough time dealing with all this, being what he is. You just want to protect him from more complications. He deserves someone with your kindness... I'm not sure if it'll work." He shrugged."But hey, stranger things have happend."

He then slapped his thigh as though snapping himself out of melancholy. "So it's good that I'm going. I've been trying my best to keep high spirits so he doesn't pick up on it. But it would only be a matter of time." Krem took her hand and held it up between them, kissing the knuckle. "I'm gonna come back at some point. And when I do, he's gonna find out soon after that. So it's either you tell him between now and then, or he finds out through me. Either way, you can't run from this anymore."

So struck by panic and anxiousness, all she could give him was a slight nod.

Krem stood up and dusted himself off, peeking over the parapet that overlooked the abyss. He added wearily, "I'll make sure to break it to the chief when I get back. So he doesn't think badly of you. Three months should be enough time for you, right?" With that, the Charger's second in command walked away with just a wave, his steps brisk as though he himself was trying not to run.

Amilee sat for what seemed like ages, contemplating Krem's words before she moved quietly to watch the Chargers ride off into the setting sun. No amount of reasoning could still the frantic beat of her heart. Only one question remained. How the hell was she going to tell Cole?

-Three days later-

"So when you say dragon baiting, you mean..." The Iron Bull stared at Amilee with a wide eye and hopeful smile.

"The one that flew over our heads three days ago, I assume," she replied, cringing away from his sudden eagerness.

"But you mean we might fight it, right?"

Amilee raised her brow and shook her hands in front of her fervently, mouth gaped open. "Hell to the NO! You do know I fought an archdemon, right? It sucked ass! Why the hell would I want to fight a High Dragon?"

For such a brutish, tough warrior, The Iron Bull could pout as pathetically as a puppy. "Aww, come on. I've always wanted to see one in battle. Think of the glory and fame we would gain if we brought back her head."

In the midst of their travels, they happend to come upon a Professor from the University of Orlais named Frederic. After his initial ramblings about dragon physiology, Amilee's interest peaked and she offered their assistance. Much to her dismay, The Iron Bull had an ulterior motive for tagging along this whole time.

"I'm not interested in fame and glory! I'm more interested in keeping our heads attached to our bodies, which is the least of what could change if we took on such a beast!" She rubbed her face in exasperation as she continued, "This is just a scientific inquiry on a dragon's eating habits. As soon as the bait is set we are hightailing it to cover, understood?"

Deflated, The Iron Bull growled and sat back down on his makeshift cot. "Fine. Far be it from me to argue with the boss."

"I should be so lucky," she groused back.

It took three days Dorian's whining, Cole's despondence, Varric's grousing, and The Iron Bull's overly enthusiastic behavior for them to scrounge up the resources needed and one more after that to prepare their cover.

Stink bait in place, she ushered the others swiftly to the camouflaged half shelter she'd concocted a hundred yards away near a cliff face. Winds were unusually high in the valley, which was good for the smell to travel.

Unfortunately, it was bad for Cole's hat. As he had dashed forward alongside her, a gust lifted his hat up and off his head, flying higher than he could reach.

"My hat!" he cried, forgetting what was happening.

"It'll be fine, hun," Amilee reassured. "The dragon won't be interested in eating it-"

"I'll get it!" The Iron Bull offered loudly and ran after the runaway accessory before Amilee could stop him.

"Bull! You goddamn idiot!" She bellowed, but to no avail.

"It's no use, Guardian," Dorian sighed, unsheathing his staff. "If the Bull wants it, somehow he gets it."

"Know this from experience, do you Sparkler?" Varric teased. The grin disappeared however as a great cry sounded off in the distance "Oh, shit!"

"She's coming," Cole murmured beside her, fear in his voice. "She is very big."

On instinct, she pulled him close for comfort, both remembering the fight with the archdemon in the Fade, however different the scenarios played out. By the time The Iron Bull reached the hat, the dragon was flying overhead having spotted the Qunari in it's wake.

"Fuck!" Amilee barked. "Everyone take your positions!"

Varric took point at a dilapidated pillar with Bianca at the ready, Dorian circled around The Iron Bull as he cast a rock armor spell, and Bull dropped Cole's hat to take up his great axe, cheering at the top of his lungs. "Today is a good day! Today is a very good day!"

Cole pulled out his flame runed daggers but then looked to her with panic. "Fire is her friend. I won't be able to help!"

Amilee glared over at the cause of this mess."Damn you, stubborn Qunari," she ground out. She relinquished her own daggers to Cole, wishing she'd had the foresight to arm herself with her kunai.

"No," Cole argued firmly. "You can't hide like I can."

"Who said anything about hiding?" Amilee countered with an encouraging smile. "We got this, hun. Just keep her distracted."

"You have an idea," he guessed with a frown and a glare.

She slipped off her cloak to relieve herself of the excess weight. She wanted to move fast without getting caught. "Naturally."

His stance became rigid. He quoted the chant those at Skyhold would recite in reference to her, "'To protect and preserve, the Guardian is a shield from our enemies.' He continued with annoyance, "You're ideas always involve you being in the most danger. And it always makes me angry at you."

She was surprised by his admission at first as it was so uncharacteristic of him to defy her directions in battle. Not to mention this was only the second time he'd ever taken that tone with her. "Cole, I- We don't have time for this right now!"

"No, we don't," he growled, shoving her daggers to her chest. His finger came up inches from her nose and she froze in shock to stare into his sharp gaze of glittering ice. "You will fight as you always should, alongside your friends. You would be safer. Darkness and shadow, mine to call when I need. I will find another way to help."

"Cole-"

In a flash he teleported to the half shelter, just as the dragon landed nearly on top of The Iron Bull and she had to turn her focus to the task at hand.

"You disobeyed a direct order! What part of 'we aren't fighting the dragon' did you not understand?!" Amilee screamed up at The Iron Bull, just as she knelt down to expose an unconscious Varric's chest under his ripped tunic. She winced as she revealed a long gash that started from the center of his breastbone down over his right ribs. The wound wasn't deep but enough of the muscles had been severed that it would take days for the dwarf to recover without proper healing magic. Which neither she nor Dorian had.

For once, The Iron Bull seemed subdued, having plopped down on the sand a few feet from them. "Sorry Boss."

"Sorry doesn't cut it!" she countered. "I'm kicking your ass all the way to Griffon Wing Keep and then you're are doing bitch work until Adamant, am I clear?"

"Yes, Boss."

Amilee then looked over her shoulder. "Dorian?"

Sweating buckets, the mage was unsteady on his feet, using his staff to keep himself upright. "Sorry my dear," he grimaced. "I'm all out of mana and lyrium."

"Shit!" she cursed, only to turn back to find a regeneration potion held up for her to take.

Cole was now crouched on the other side of Varric, his stare fixed morosely on his fallen friend. "She was magnificent. But not worth the dwarf's pain, didn't think we were so outmatched. Tama would be disappointed too."

"Come on, Kid..." The Iron Bull pleaded.

"You were wrong. We may have won, but you were still wrong. I am angry at you."

Amilee snatched the potion roughly and administered the vials contents to her patient. Then she turned her fury on the spirit. "I'm not happy with you either, Cole. What the hell were you thinking, climbing the dragon like that? She could have flown off without a by your leave and you would have fallen to your death!"

"Spoons aren't good for stabbing dragon scales. But the eyes are soft. She couldn't see to fly after that."

"And yet this still happened," she stated with exasperation, indicating to their fallen comrade. "Good job!"

Cole's hat obscured his darkening features. His fists tightening were the only indication of his own ire. "You blame me for helping! All of you singed, seared, and scalded if I didn't. It might not have helped much, but it did and I will not be sorry!" He stood and she bit back another retort. Deep down she knew she was just lashing out in fear.

"Warmth flares an itching burn," Cole muttered, rubbing at his chest whilst storming off.

"The Kid giving backtalk? That's new," The Iron Bull commented lightly.

"Hush, Bull," Dorian chided. "Before you're at the receiving end of our dear Guardian's fists of fury. Amilee dear, I would have been surprised if any of us had not come out with some life threatening injury. Cole is certainly not to blame for trying his best with what he could find. Perhaps though, it is best that we pull ourselves together and get back to camp, yes?"

Amilee contemplated the situation carefully. Already the regeneration potion was knitting together the damaged skin on Varric's chest, but the muscles beneath would take longer to mend. Her old friend would recover before Adamant, but only just.

That being the case, they couldn't move him without support, lest they injured him further. Sitting back and wiping her brow, she took a deep breath. "Th iron Bull, you will move Varric to the half shelter. Then you all will head back to camp. Have Cole lead a company of soldiers here with a cart and a bag of whatever herbs and potions we have stored there while you two get your rest."

"Yes, Guardian," the two acknowledged in unison.

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