Hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR. Once again, all your love is really appreciated! n_n

Shoutout to my reviewers for the last chapter: GCFarron, Dhampire12, OscarMerrinoz96. You guys rock, and I'm glad you like where I'm going with this so far. ;D

So this chapter is a little late - I spent way more time agonizing over it than I usually do for most chapters, because as you will soon see, I really, really wanted to get the first half of it right. And so it was also Beta'd by my awesome Beta Reader. Anyways, I don't want to spoil anything I shouldn't (I want this chapter to have its full impact), so let's get on with the show. Enjoy as always!

Chapter 13: Waking Nightmare

Serah didn't even hesitate before running to her sister's room, Snow right behind her. She heard the door Hope's room bang, but she didn't stop as she pushed the door to Claire's room. Of course, it was locked; she should have expected that. Digging in the pocket of her robe, Serah fished out the sparkly hairpin, and inserted it into the lock. She heard a satisfactory click and didn't waste any time barging into Claire's bedroom.

Her sister was still screaming, clearly locked in the grip of some nightmare. Bounding onto Claire's bed, Serah hastily brushed aside sweaty pink tendrils of hair from her face before roughly shaking her. "Claire, wake up!

For a moment, Serah was scared that she was going to physically strike her, so she backed off a little, rocking back on her ankles as she kneeled by Claire's shoulder. Her sister sat bolt upright, and Serah cringed at the terrified, pained look in her eyes. For a moment, she was afraid that Claire didn't know who she was, where she was, or what was going on.

Claire, no...

And then Serah saw her visibly relax, slumping forwards as the tension left her muscles.

"Claire, what happened...what's wrong?" Her voice trembled - she hated seeing Claire like this. So...vulnerable. So different from the hard, cold exterior she put on every day. And she wouldn't be like this...if something wasn't seriously wrong.

"Urgh, Serah... did I wake you up?" Her voice sounded tired, but there was a hint of relief in it. "Don't worry... go back to sleep, okay?"

Serah leaned forward and gripped her sister's shoulders, feeling somewhat empowered when Claire didn't brush her off. Carefully observing the look in her eyes, Serah saw a mix of pain, fear, guilt...all of the emotions she doesn't show. Ever.

"No! It's not okay!" Although pleased that her voice came out strong, Serah didn't dare look at her sister, knowing that even glancing at her again would only weaken the resolve she'd worked up. Lightning needed to hear it, and she needed to hear it now. "Claire, you keep everything bottled up inside; you don't tell us anything, you don't tell us when you need help. We care about you, but when do you ever show you care about us? First, Snow. I know that you know he cares, but you act like he's some stranger. And I thought Hope would open you up a bit, but you still answer him so formally, as if he's one of your superiors. Why? Why can't you see that we all care? No one asks you to do everything alone, but you still do!" she finished angrily.

Serah took a breath, and glanced away from the wall back to her sister. Her blood pumped loudly in her ears, the adrenaline coursing through her body adding to the feelings of indignation she bore towards the way her sister always acted. Yet the next moment, Serah felt icy dread settle in her stomach as the hurt registered on Claire's face. But that one moment was washed away as the expression was swept away by unmistakable anger - a look Serah knew so well she backed off, and let go of her sister.

"Serah, what do you know? What do you know about me, about how I care about other people? I joined the military because of you. You think I wouldn't have taken the chance to go to school? Tell me how else we were supposed to scrape by. And don't even start about...this," she said, gesturing animatedly in her general direction. "Do you know what hell I went through just to get those fucking scientists not to attack you? You ever think about what that place actually was? Do you think that I spent my time there in some fairytale?"

Her voice was so cold, so utterly ruthless, that Serah gasped. And then she realized there was something else mixed in with that defiant harshness: raw pain. Serah opened her mouth - she had to stop Claire before she continued shouting, but her sister wasn't finished yet.

"You wonder why so few things attacked you in that goddamn place? Serah? Because I..." And there, Lightning's voice choked off into a hoarse sob as she gripped her arms, shaking visibly. Serah felt the familiar dread choke her entire being when she saw the silver streak of tears on Claire's face.

Because what? Oh Claire, don't tell me...

Hope stood quietly at the doorframe with Snow, listening to Serah try and comfort Lightning. He'd intended to let her do it, to let Serah calm her sister down, but things had spiraled out of control with both sisters now shouting at each other.

He had felt Snow tense when Lightning finally snapped - he knew she was crying and...Light never cries in front of people. Never. Not unless...Pushing Snow behind him, he made his way carefully into her room. He sat down on the bed opposite of Serah, who looked utterly stricken with shock.

Gently, he put one arm around Lightning; watching her shaking, holding her arms to herself and crying was enough to make him severely doubt that what he wanted to say was the right thing to be said at the moment. But the truth needed to be said... Light, I need to know that you will be okay...

"Light?" His voice was hesitant, and he hated the way it quavered when he spoke her name.I can't stand to see you like this...to me you're always the person who's in control, who knows what she's doing...and now...He needed to know...he needed to know what she'd gone through. She didn't give any indication that she had heard him. His touch was barely there, but it still looked like he was hurting her - the mottled bruises across the shoulders and slender arms that the black spaghetti strap tank top didn't cover were painfully obvious in the shafts of moonlight peering in through the window.

He tried again. "Light? What...what did they do to you?" His voice didn't quiver as much this time, but his nerves were screaming at him to release the building tension.

At his words, he heard a small whimper escape her lips. For a moment, he was unsure if he'd heard her – she made no indication that she had. He saw her fingers tighten around her arms, effectively turning certain bruised patches a sickly greenish-yellow. It was a few moments before he heard her whispered reply.

"Do you... really want to know?"

He had never heard her sound like this before, never heard or seen her look so incredibly vulnerable. Because the woman hunched in front of him was not the soldier he'd come to expect, but someone who could easily have been any other scared, frightened victim. Stripped of her abrasive attitude she was, quite simply, a young woman struggling to fight the inner demons that were plaguing her. And what scared Hope the most was that she wasn't winning.

Lightning's voice was barely audible.

"They tried to make me... use my l'Cie power. They said my brand wasn't gone, it was only hidden, and that... they could make it come back."

Hope heard the collective intake of breath in the room. Is that even possible?

"…and, Sis? How did they plan to do that?" Snow asked in a quiet, unobtrusive voice. Well, as quiet and as unobtrusive as a wild behemoth could have been.

But Lightning didn't seem to hear Snow, didn't seem to know that any of them were there. Her blue eyes were staring at something in front of her, and Hope knew that wherever she was, she wasn't here with them. Hope tensed when he heard the utter lack of any emotion whatsoever in her voice - whether she was doing it intentionally or because she wasn't paying attention to her surroundings, or lost in memories, he didn't know.

"Those ruins under Oerba - they were where Fang and Vanille got branded...it's got fal'Cie power. And that circle in the middle...it really made my l'Cie brand come back..." Her next words came as a whimper, like she was choking on the very words themselves. "It hurt... it hurt so badly... I wanted to die. I didn't want to cooperate, didn't want to go along with whatever they were planning... but then they mentioned you were coming, and I had to let them..." Her voice trailed off, and she shrugged off Hope's touch, turning her head away from them to face the window.

"WHAT?" Snow's boom made Hope jump, as the big man stomped into the room. "Sis... this isn't some joke you're pulling on us now, is it?"

He saw her head snap back, the familiar blaze of anger in her eyes. "Would I lie... about something like this?"

"Show me," Snow hissed at her. Hope flinched at his tone of voice - he knew Snow wasn't angry at her, but the man tended to explode at everything around him when something upset him.

"No," she shot back. "You know where my brand is." And Hope could see it, now that he was looking for it, partially hidden by the tank top she wore. But it was there, a burnt out mark of a Pulse l'Cie. She had seen him look at it, and the look in her eyes held both pain and defiance. However, that wasn't what bothered him. The words she'd said before…that had chilled him to the bone. And he believed her. Hope didn't need proof. Lightning's word was her honor.

"It hurt...it hurt so badly I wanted to die... but then they mentioned you were coming, and I had to let them..."

Those words cut him in the worst way possible - he had to bite his lip to stop himself from making a noise. Because Light never admitted to anyone she was in pain. And for her to finally admit that...

Maker, I don't even want to know how much agony she must have been in, he thought to himself.And the following sentence had made it worse. She had been in pain because she had wanted to protect them. The utter despair of that one thought made him grip her bed sheets like they were the only thing he had left to cling to sanity with. They hadn't even been injured, and she was... He opened his eyes, trying to push the enormity of that one thought out of his mind, only to see that Serah was looking at her sister with the same expression Hope knew he was wearing.

"Claire... you shouldn't have..." Serah's quiet sobs cut through the silence that had followed her words. Hope watched as she leaned forward to pull her sister against her, and when Lightning didn't pull away, Hope knew how much that one experience had shaken her. He didn't want to hear anymore when she explained in that same dead voice about the Eclipse; he didn't want to know anymore.

But one thought permeated his mind, over and over.

Light was tortured and forced to become a l'Cie again...because we weren't there for her when she needed us the most.

Lightning didn't want to go back to sleep. Snow and Hope had left her room; she had hated the look on Hope's face after she'd told them. This is why I keep things to myself. But as much as she didn't want to accept her sister's help, she had to accept that there was no way she could fall asleep again without reliving the same nightmare. And I can't...I just can't.

Serah's arms were still wrapped around her. She desperately wanted to both brush her sister's touch away and bring it closer. Serah's warmth comforted her a little, and the way her arms latched onto her shoulders made her feel protected...in a good way.

"Claire?" Serah's voice was quiet and timid - she seemed to have forgotten the words she'd yelled at her earlier, but Lightning knew she couldn't. Those words had cut instantly to the very bottom of the barrier she had always constructed around her innermost feelings, and had ripped apart more than she wanted to admit. Am I really...do I really seem that heartless to others?

"Uh huh?" She hated how pathetic her voice still sounded, hated how she had utterly broken down in front of everyone, hated the looks of pity she'd gotten. I didn't give in to get those worthless looks of pity; to hear Serah and Hope lament what I've been through. I did it to save them...because I promised; I wouldn't let them feel the same pain.

"Claire...did you really...agree to it because you wanted to save us? Because...Claire, that's..." Her sister's voice was a pained, broken whisper.

Lightning let out a quiet sigh. "Yes, Serah, I wanted to look after you. Since when...has that been different?"

She heard her sister sob once. "But Claire... you never mentioned that they..." And she knew Serah couldn't bring herself to say the word. Couldn't bring herself to look at her older sister like that. And that's why I have to protect you. You never could see violence; you never wanted me to be a soldier. And so that means you're delicate, that I can't let you see things that are ugly, things that aren't meant for civilian eyes. Because that's all you've ever looked at this world through. And I know that.

"Serah, it's because I didn't want to see you like this that I didn't mention it. I told you, it's okay...I don't have a Focus, I don't have to leave..." She hoped her voice sounded reassuring enough to her sister. It wasn't that she didn't believe it, or didn't accept it. Fang had told her that a white brand meant it wouldn't advance... and that opened more than a few possibilities to her.

"I know, but still...Claire..." Her sister's arms tightened around her shoulders, and Lightning winced when it brushed one of the bruises that littered her arms. Awkwardly, she held her sister back, putting a slender arm around to her back.

"Shhh, it's okay...I said that already. Go to sleep, Serah."

And as she predicted, Serah fell asleep before her. Leaving her sister on her bed, Lightning crept over to the swivel chair in front of her desk and sat down. Her eyelids threatened to close more than once, but every time, a single thought of that one nightmare made her feel like she would never get a chance to sleep peacefully again.

She watched the light rise and fall on Serah's side, an indication of the lightening sky of early morning. Cocoon's crystal shell was just beginning to turn a hint of lighter blue, and she sighed. Every time she looked at Cocoon she felt the same onrush of memories, and the same feeling of...happiness? She didn't know, but looking at Cocoon, the place she'd worked so hard to save, it made her feel complete. But today, the sight of the crystal pillar just made her feel cheated of the victory she'd worked so hard to win. Glancing back at Serah, Lightning reminisced why she had gone to the Hanging Edge that fateful day.My entire life got pretty messed up because of what I...what we did, but I only have to look at what I have now to not regret it. Even if I don't get a good night's sleep ever again.

She spared one last glance at Serah before getting up to go downstairs.

But you need to. Even if I never...Serah, you need to live a life that's actually happy.

Snow tramped his way downstairs, hoping to sneak by Lightning's room so he could make her a nice breakfast. Sure, it probably wouldn't help that he'd seen her utterly lose all control and break down last night, but still... He'd heard somewhere that a good meal made people happier. And Sis could use a heck of a lot of cheering up at the moment.

But he'd arrived at the kitchen to face the same icy blue eyes he wanted to comfort. Her arms were crossed over her chest, and he could still see dark shadows under her eyelids. Did she get any sleep at all last night?

"You're up early." Her voice didn't sound tired at all, on the contrary, she sounded irritated that he had interrupted what she was doing in the kitchen, which was staring outside at Cocoon.

"Hey Sis. Nice to see you're... better?" Hopefully she wouldn't get mad at those words - Lightning was always so uptight about everything. She even wears her uniform when she's at home. And it's pretty obvious she's not happy that I saw... last night.

"Thanks for the concern," he heard her mutter sarcastically.

He put on a serious face. "I wasn't kidding Lightning. You okay?" He saw the flash of anger ignite in her eyes, and he knew it was the pity she heard in his voice and on his face. You hate it when other people have to care about you, don't they?

"Snow, when I want to be babysat I'll let you know, okay?" With a huff, she eased herself off the chair, and into the living room to open the blinds. Hearing her quiet footsteps fade away, he let out a sigh, and turned to a cupboard. Now... what would Serah and Sis like for breakfast?

He was humming absent mindedly to himself, beating a few eggs, when he heard soft slippered feet coming downstairs; smiling, he turned around, knowing it was Serah in her pink fluffy slippers. His immediate instinct was to open his arms, and it wasn't a surprise Serah walked right into them. He ruffled the top of her head - at least she looked better.

"Hey baby. You alright today?" He felt her lean against him.

"Uh huh." Her voice was muffled - she was still pressed against his shirt. "Where's Claire?"

Snow laughed. "Sis is in the living room, apparently she can't stand to be in the same room as her hero." Serah giggled, and reached over the counter to help with the eggs.

"I heard that." Lightning's irritated snap came from the living room. "Snow, I still owe you a couple of punches for touching me like that... twice. Be sure to expect them soon." He just laughed, scratching the back of his head with one hand.

"Bring it, Sis."

Serah smiled to herself as she helped Snow make breakfast. It was great to see Claire and Snow get along... somewhat. She hadn't gotten over what her sister had yelled at her the previous night, and just thinking about it made her shudder...Pushing thoughts of last night out of her mind, Serah tried to focus on this morning. But at least she sounds alright today...

Dumping the eggs in a pan, she searched around the fridge for something else. Her eyes lighted on a stick of butter, and she'd seen a box of cake mix in one of the other cupboards. A small smile stretched her lips. Snow will enjoy this.

Presenting the cake and the scrambled eggs to the living room, she set down the plates with a clatter. She heard Claire sniff disdainfully.

"Serah, why is there cake for breakfast?"

"Because I felt like it," she called back in a singsong voice. She heard her sister snort, but she danced away before Claire could close a hand on the back of her shirt. Humming to herself, she walked back to the kitchen. It was only then that she remembered the last time she'd made cake for her sister.

Serah had danced happily before Snow, carefully shaping the icing like a chocobo. She heard him laugh, the warm, hearty laugh that she loved so much as she delicately tried to shape its head.

"You think Sis will take nicely to a chocobo cake? I mean, you wouldn't let me buy a Carbuncle doll for her." She'd given him a playful slap, but she had been giggling.

"Of course she will, Snow. Don't be a spoilsport." Laughing, Serah finished the tuft of feathers on the chocobo's head, and added a candle so it looked like it was holding it in its beak. She felt her fiance lean against her as he admired her work.

"You know, Serah, you're really good at cooking."

She giggled again, her fingers finding his. "You're just saying that because I agreed to marry you."

"No, I mean it. If Sis doesn't like this cake, then I'm a Bodhum swamp monster." She laughed again - Snow knew how to make her laugh without even trying. So different from Claire. It wasn't that her sister didn't care about her or anything... Claire just didn't show it the same way. With Claire there was no hugs or laughter, but with Snow, Serah felt animated in a way she'd never felt before.

"Well," she admitted bashfully. "I am the better cook in this household."

"Are you now? I expected my future wife to be talented." His voice was warm, appreciative.

She let out a giggle. "You just want me to cook every meal for you."

"Nope, I expect my wife to do everything for me." And for a moment, Serah was scared that he wasn't joking. Looking hesitantly up at him, she saw his twinkling eyes, and she smiled again.

Poking him in the chest, Serah happily accepted the embrace he offered her. "Lightning is better at housework though... but that's only cause she's had more practice."

She felt his lips in her hair. "Well then, baby, you'd better ask her to teach you before the big day or she'll be stuck doing the housework for us too."

Laughing again, her heart feeling lighter than air, she didn't believe at that moment her sister would say no. Not when she explained that Snow made her happy, that he would always be there, and would help her find her Focus. And so, that time, her words had rung true, and she never believed for an instant they wouldn't be.

"I will, I promise."

Being outside felt good, even if it was only for a brief period of time. Lightning looked at her reflection in the glass of the newly repaired patio doors, and marveled at how normal she looked on the outside, give or take a couple of bruises, while she felt like such a wasteland in the inside. Now that she was actually away from the place, the implications of the tattoo on her chest were beginning to sink in.

It was true that she had no Focus, so that was one big worry down. But... she wondered how everyone would react if she accidentally, or purposefully, used her magic at work... which she was due back tomorrow. For once she'd been thankful that Snow had actually done something useful - he'd called Amodar to tell him she'd been hurt in that monster invasion and Amodar had told him five days. Has it really only been five days? It feels like I've had enough shit happen to me to last a lifetime.

But she'd had enough of Snow this morning; he'd tried to smear icing on her hair and well, for Serah's sake she hadn't punched him back. Pulling out the omega weapon at the table didn't seem appropriate either, so she'd walked out of the dining room, and slammed the door to the back lawn. And here she was, fuming slightly in the morning air of Gran Pulse at the idiocy of her sister's husband.

She heard the patio door slide open, and her right hand went instantly for her gunblade.

"Snow, I'm not in the mood for your silly games, got it?"

"It's me; don't worry, I'm not eating anything." Hope. She waited until his shoes crunching the grass were close before she turned around.

"Mmmhm?" She took in his tousled hair and the pale complexion. Looks like you didn't get much sleep either... And that's my fault again. Fuck, why was I stupid and weak enough to break down and tell them everything?

"Light, know how, well, you're a l'Cie again?" His voice was a little hesitant, and she guessed that he thought she would snap at him for asking.

"Uh huh?"

"Can you cast magic? I mean, have you tried?"

Why does this kid seem to read my mind? She shook her head. "Nope... haven't really had a chance to try. Why... you wanna see or something?" She saw his head bob sheepishly.

"Wouldn't it be... well, cool, if you could? I mean, you don't have a Focus so..."

She let out a sigh. "Well, I suppose I would have to figure it out sooner or later. Just don't let Snow out here; I don't think I can control my temper around that oaf right now, and if I launch some spell at him, it won't be my fault if it hits him."

"Someone call my name?" Obviously, Snow had been either eavesdropping or just had freaking good ears. She let out an inward groan - now Snow was going to treat her like some freak show.

"No, Snow, just go back into the house and make Serah happy, okay?" She was tired of his happy go lucky attitude. Why didn't he ever get serious?

"Uh uh, Sis, you're not getting rid of me that easily."

The magic exploded her brand like a bomb. It filled her entire being, and she could feel it run down to her left hand: where she always directed it from. She didn't know what spell this was supposed to be, and if she was honest, she didn't really care. The next thing she knew, Serah and Hope were bent over a very soaked Snow next to the door of their patio, while she was looking at her left hand in slight shock. She hadn't even meant to cast it just then, and it was a good thing she missed... well, most of the target at any rate. The very wet splotch of grass next to Snow had taken most of the Water spell.

She watched Snow jump to his feet, a shocked expression on his face.

"Sis... you didn't have to launch a Water at me to let me know I'm not wanted." Serah's eyes were round as she stood next to her husband. Of course... she's never seen me use magic.

"Claire... was that really.. did you just cast a spell?"

She shrugged. "Well, your oaf was dry for the moment before I did, so, I assume so, Serah," she replied dryly. While Serah was helping Snow towel off his hair, she felt the familiar rush of magic fill her entire being. It made her feel complete in a way - she had almost missed being able to use magic in the months since Cocoon's fall. She felt the power flex when she touched on the well where she'd always drawn her magic.

She glanced up at the sky again.

Maybe being a l'Cie again like this... isn't so bad.

So yes, Lightning finally snaps in the first half of the chapter. Poor Light, she finally completely breaks down even though she's tried to hide everything from everyone. I hope I played that part of her personality right though, and I hope that the way Serah and Hope reacted were believable. I spent a lot of time on that first half, and I really thank my Beta, Wings of Avalon, for helping me through that part as well!

But luckily, we get a much lighter second half! It's been so long since we've had anything light and fluffy that that part was a blast to write. Heehee, housework and cooking. A note on the fact that Serah calls Light "Lightning" instead of "Claire" - she doesn't seem like she'd reveal Light's real name to people unless Light gives them the privilege (and she "agrees" to tell Snow in Chapter 7 of the game) so before that, I have Serah calling Light "Lightning" in front of other people.

Next arc is coming up fast, so some more heavy action scenes soon. Maybe not in the next chapter, but Light will get to use her new (old?) found magic on some enemies very soon. *cackles* Should I feel bad for them?

Next chapter should be up tomorrow, or even tonight if you guys are lucky - I'm already half done.

Leave love as always in reviews, and I'll see you guys next time! ;3

Hearts!