Dez

I'm realizing now what I supposedly believed to be true about Austin was wrong. Well, maybe only some of it. In my thoughts earlier I said how Austin is his own person, and he likes it that way.

That may not be true.

I met Austin before kindergarten at least, and I'm shocked to be questioning what we have now. Well, what do we have now? I don't think Austin was very truthful with me at all.

Everything he said to me, was it lies? Lies within lies?

My real question is though, why? He knows he can trust me, right?

I shake my head and let out an exasperated sigh. I'm on my way to meet Austin right now. He said he has some "important things" to tell me. Is it about those lies he might have been telling me all these years? Most importantly, is it about that fake smile?

I sometimes wonder if he's even aware of it. Has he become so accustomed to it that he doesn't even know how to actually smile?

I hope I can be the person to bring that beautiful, full-of-life smile back on his face.

Austin smiles at me as I walk in his room.

"Hey buddy."

I simply wave.

"What's-"

I interject, "I think you know pretty damn well."

"I don't actually. Why don't you enlighten me on what you think I know?"

"Please, let's not argue. We haven't had a chance to sit down and talk honestly in a long time." I stress the 'honestly', hoping he catches my drift. Why is it though that Austin's mood changes as quickly as ice-cream melts on a hot summer's day?

Austin takes in a breath and looks at me. "I haven't been completely honest with you on many things. And by the looks of it," Austin takes a break to run a hand through his hair, "You've picked up on it."

"I'm not that stupid."

"I never said you were."

We glare at each other. Like two kids trying to intimidate the other.

"Alright, continue please?"

"Alright," Austin says, "I believe I have liked you for the longest time, since we were children most likely. I don't know where the feelings came from. They were just there, y'know? You were always with me, always cheering me on, ready to have a conversation no matter what time of day. You were so beautiful, like a sunset disappearing behind a mountain, or beach, or whatever object it is you go behind. I always hated when you would go behind that mountain."

"What do you mean by 'going behind some mountain'?" I ask, genuinely confused by his comparison.

Austin sighs, "When you began getting bullied. I didn't see that sun as often as I'd like to see it. I hated seeing you go through that."

"Why didn't you ever do anything?"

"You have to understand, Dez, one of my biggest flaws out of all the flaws I probably have, is that I'm always afraid."