I walked down the stairs, my clothes feeling heavy, as if my shoes had been encrusted with lead. I was sure it was just my mind playing tricks on me to convince me to stay at home, but I kept going, my feet dragging behind me. Morning sunlight shone through the big window in the kitchen, giving me a warm welcome and making me want to growl at it. It wasn't a good morning, nothing was working in my favour and the weather wasn't reflecting my mood. It was like I was dying and the sun was coming to me and shouting enthusiastically in my ear.

"Hey Maisee," I grunted in response to whoever had said hello, not even bothering with seeing them. Over the past month, I'd gotten so used to waking up late (seeing how it was the only way to pass the time) that this whole waking up early thing was really taking its toll on me. If they'd only let me keep making breakfast and lunch every day, we wouldn't be having to face this problem.

"You ok?"

"Fine." I was, obviously, not. In fact, it was so much the contrary that I'd forgotten that rudeness made people hurt you. I couldn't afford to make the Benedicts hate me by this point, but if they hadn't already, they wouldn't start now, surely? Trying to clear the thoughts that my sleep deprived mind had conjured, I shook my head, sitting down on the table. My head fell forward until it made contact with the table, staying there. The lead in my shoes had been moved to my forehead and all the strength in the world didn't seem capable of moving it.

"…You sure? You don't really seem like yourself this morning." Lifting my head, I saw Gray giving me a concerned look, and growled at him. Yes, I actually growled. That was enough to shock me out of my mopey mood as I covered my mouth with both my hands, an apology forming at the tip of my tongue. That is until I noticed the laughter shining through Gray's eyes. He thought the situation humorous? I had growled at him.

"What's so funny?"

"You. I've never seen you be anything but ridiculously nice." I was confused, he was saying it like me breaking that was a good thing. "It's hilarious." I'd never seen anyone have a reaction like that before to being disrespected. The monster had slapped me dozens of times before I learnt not to be rude and… Now Gray was just laughing as if it were funny?

"How? Shouldn't you be punching me? I'm… I'm really confused." At the start of my stay with the Benedicts I would've never dreamed of saying this out loud, but Gray had told me that saying what was on my mind was good. Especially if I was having trouble making sense of the whole situation. He said he'd understand – I guess that's what made me blurt things out lately, I was desperate for someone to understand me. Or, at least, to help me understand.

The laughter disappeared from his eyes as he leaned forward. "I'd never do that Mais. I don't know how many times I need to tell you but I hope that one day you'll believe me." Despite him not saying it, we both heard the underlining idea of his words: he'd be with me for a whole load longer than I first imagined.

"I-I hope so too." The whisper left my mouth softly, a blush spreading across my cheeks. I didn't know what I was saying that to, us being together or me learning to trust others. I supposed it didn't really matter – I wanted both. Which was really, ridiculously dangerous.

"Hey, Mais, about that soulf-"

"Lovely day we're having, huh?" Sky walked in quickly, cutting Gray off, much to my relief. I was pretty sure she'd done so on purpose so I'd need to remember to thank her later. We hadn't yet talked about the soulfinder situation, nor how I felt about it, meaning Gray was bound to get impatient and ask me sooner or later. I'd just been hoping that it would be later rather than sooner.

"I guess, yeah." Continuing her game to distract him from the topic of conversation he'd been trying to bring up, she looked at me and giggled.

"Maisee doesn't seem to be able to say the same, she looks half-asleep."

"Sorry Mrs B- I mean Sky." She gave me a smile, waving her hand in the air as if it was no problem, and then turned her back to start working the kettle. I returned the smile just before she turned, able to catch the knowing look in her expression – she was definitely aware of what she was doing to poor Gray.

"Um… So what I was asking before about-"

"Gosh, look at the time! You're both going to be late if you don't hurry up. Come on, chip chop." Abandoning the kettle entirely, seemingly noticing that my situation was more dire than she thought, she gave us her full attention again. Forcing us to eat our toast and coffee (milk for me, coffee tasted disgusting) kept his mouth occupied for just the right amount of time, giving me a chance to escape. The next excuse was that I was brushing my teeth, then that I was talking to Sky about the weather again (she was running out of ideas for conversation fast, and so was I) and finally that we'd arrived at school and being a savant wasn't something you could easily discuss in public.

I somehow made it through the whole hectic morning at home without incident – apart from tripping down the stairs. Twice. So we made it to the school gates without me actually having to talk to him, which made me feel quite guilty in the end. I didn't want to talk to him about it until I made up my mind, but if the situation were reversed I'd at least want him to tell me what decision he was overall leaning for. However, that was where the problem lay: I didn't even know that.

He'd ask me what I wanted to do and all I'd be able to say would be 'sorry, my fear and my attraction to you are duking it out in my brain. WW3 is about to start right about now so you might wanna take a step back before they freaking blow you to smithereens like they've been doing to me for the past… How long was it since you told me exactly?' I'm sure that wouldn't go down particularly well. Especially with his protective nature. He'd want to save me from the nuclear war occurring inside my head, and then he'd discover that it was impossible to stop. It's always been waging inside my head – the urge to live happily (but with risk) and the urge to run away.

Hi :)

Happy Valentine's Day everyone :) I'm so lonely... I have nobody... But that's ok cause Petal and Gray are here to amuse me xD

Also, I have a sneak peak: Gray will be finding out Pet's real name in the next couple of chapters! Yay =^.^=

Thanks again for all the wonderful reviews! You guys make my day, my week and my whole year. Who cares if I don't have a boyfriend on Valentine's Day? Screw it, I have you guys :D I hope you all enjoy it :)

Bye bye :)