Petal's POV

Tick, tock, tick, tock. The clock kept ticking in the background making a rhythm for me to fall asleep to. I was in class, cheek resting against my hand, and staring dazedly out the window. After those first few weeks in which everyone had seemed interested in me, everything had calmed down, meaning I could do whatever I wanted and no one would look my way. However, that didn't mean I was ok – the nightmares had come back.

Trees leaves swayed in the background, and if I focused I could practically hear the whistle of the wind blowing through them. Sighing, I once again thought of how much I wished I could be out there. Instead, time trickled on inside of this classroom where everything seemed to slow until all that was left was the sound of my heart and the beat of the clock.

The bell rung, but it sounded distant and far away. Almost as if someone else was controlling my body, I shakily got to my feet, making my way to my next classroom. Had I been asked, I wouldn't have been able to tell where I was going, yet somehow I made my way to the English room. Foggy eyed, I saw Althea there.

"You look like a zombie." She laughed. I pulled a face at her, making her giggle even more. I wanted to laugh too, but my lips felt too tight, my mouth too dry, and everything was still too foggy.

"You look like a goth chick." I told her, attempting to make myself look as normal as possible. But I couldn't shake off the feeling that my façade was invisible, and she could see my emotions straight through. I was so tired.

"That's what I was going for." She punctuated this with a wink as we made our way in, making me laugh lightly. Class continued in much the same manner, with me making empty jokes and her making unnecessary remarks, laughing and faking the whole way through. I felt bad for lying to her, but I didn't need all the questions about why I hadn't slept. I wasn't ready to tell anyone about that.

I was having to practically drag my feet by the time lunch rolled around, cursing myself for not catching enough sleep last night. The nightmare had been returning more often lately, this time including Gray and Sky leaving with my mum, glaring at me when I'd attempted to follow them out the door. I'd felt small, so small, just like when I'd been at the monster's house. I'd been unable to sleep for the rest of the night after waking up, the feeling squeezing my chest too hard to ignore.

What always got to me was the look on Gray's face. He told me that the only reason he had stayed was because the soulfinder bond meant he couldn't live without me, but that he couldn't take it anymore. In the background I always heard wind howling, and thunder clouds rolling through the sky. But even that wasn't enough to distract me from the way the hateful words formed on his lips. Nor the way his eyes opened wide as if he was staring at freedom, rather than a stormy, cold night.

Shaking my head to forget all the thoughts of Gray leaving me out of my head, I started the small ascent up the hill where the willow has spread its roots. Before I reached it however, I was stopped in my tracks by someone shouting my name from lower down. Too tired to startle out of my daze, I glanced tiredly behind me, not even having the energy to properly turn around. How I'd managed to survive this long without collapsing was anyone's guess.

"Gray? What're you doing here?"

"I just came to ask you if you wanted to go out to lunch. Maybe we could go out to that ice cream parlour nearby." As he looked at me from the bottom of the hill, all I could see were his eyes, full of shimmering hope and bitter hate. I didn't want to leave Althea but some ice cream right now to wake me up would feel good. And I needed to forget all about that look on his face, which I never wished to see again. So I made the 'wait a minute' sign and rushed up the hill. I went much faster than I thought was possible considering I was working with last supplies of energy, and quickly made it to the willow tree. Althea was already sat underneath it, patiently waiting for me whilst pensively chewing on a lollipop. She was a fan of candy, that was for sure.

"Hey hey." I greeted, my eyelids already drooping. Forcing them open, I tried to appear as normal as possible. The look she gave me told me she didn't believe me one bit, but she kept talking, much to my relief.

"Sup?" If I had been fully awake, I would've answered with some of the replies I had learnt from Gray's brothers ('the ceiling' 'the sky' 'the sun'), but my tired brain couldn't conjure the words I needed, so I went for the response I knew how to say. It was as if my tongue and mind refused to collaborate, everything getting twisted and knotted in the middle.

"Not much. Hey, do you mind if I go out with Gray for lunch? I'm really craving some mint choc chip ice cream." She simply raised her eye brows at me, making me want to immediately take my words back and sit down next to her, forgetting anything had even happened. But her incredulous expression melted into amusement quickly, saving me the embarrassment of having to change my mind. Ever since that day in which Gray had told me to be happy, I'd decided to give it a shot. I was starting to feel safer and safer to do as I wished, but there were still moments of panic in which I thought that Gray had made 'being happy' sound a lot more easier than it was.

"Honeymoon faze, huh?" She then rolled her eyes, but made it apparent that she was joking by throwing the lollipop wrapper at my head. I tossed it back at her.

"Have fun." Smiling, I went to turn around, when her shout called me back. I practically sighed in exasperation. I loved Althea dearly, yet my weary body was too exhausted to keep up with the excited pace of her conversations.

"I will, but don't you have too much fun alright?" The last thing I saw before I closed the curtain of leaves was her winking at me, amusement swirling in her eyes, and booming laughter following me down the hill. I'd never get used to her loud laughs but I had to admit I liked them, it showed she wasn't afraid to be happy, regardless of what the rest of the world thought. I wish I could be like that.

"Ready to go?" Gray asked the question as I approached him. I didn't bother with a response, simply nodding and crouching down to pick up my books from where I'd dumped them to make an easier route to the top. Before I could even graze them from my fingertips, He'd snatched them out from under me, holding them over his head playfully. He'd done this a lot lately, and I had the faint idea that it was to get me to snap at him. I didn't understand why he liked it when I did that, but what I did know was that he enjoyed it a lot more than should be healthy. I think it made him believe that I was 'getting better', and I didn't know if I'd be able to take seeing him sad if I were to tell him that that wasn't the case. That I still startled out of my skin every time someone yelled, and fearful of people hitting me should I talk back to them. I'd just gotten better at hiding it. Or, maybe, that's what progress was.

"Give those back." The demand sounded half-hearted even to my own ears. Really I just wanted to curl up into a ball and sleep.

"Nope." After this I knew he expected me to huff and try to reach them – which would never happen, I was too short – but I just kept making my way to the parking lot. Catching my weird behaviour, he jogged up to me, quickly catching up and stopping me by grabbing my elbow. "Are you ok?" He cast a glance around checking there was no one around before using my real name. "Petal?"

"Yeah, fine, just a little tired, that's all." That was putting it lightly, but he seemed content with my response, holding hands with me as we walked to the car. Getting into locked space with him had stopped being a problem when he promised to always leave the door unlocked, and to stop if I asked him to. Now, every time I was able to reign in the panic at the thought of going into a car, I smiled. It made my heart soar to think that someone would know me well enough to be able to help me fight off the panic attacks I'd never been able to before.

We talked about non-consequential things until we got to the door, me having to struggle several times to remind myself to keep focused on the conversation. My drooping eyelids and sagging shoulders were a constant reminder of my need for a bed, distracting me from the topic at hand. It was difficult to even answer his questions enthusiastically enough to not raise suspicion.

"What do you want?" We were still holding hands and I was leaning against his side, fighting against my eyes to keep them open after every blink. Gray had asked the question, looking at me, but I could tell he was more confused about the way I was leaning on him, rather than my choice of ice cream.

"Uh… mint choc chip will do." He ordered his ice cream as well, and as he took out his wallet, I made an excuse about finding a table to get a few minutes of uninterrupted silence. I was going to fall if I didn't sit down soon, the battle against my brain to stay awake getting harder by the minute. Rubbing my eyes as I took a seat in a baby blue and pink booth, I leaned heavily against the padded fabric, smiling as it nestled me in. I'd never felt more comfortable in my life, a yawn coming out of my mouth. For the first time in the whole day, I simply gave up on the battle, waving my metaphorical white flag without even realising it.

Hi :)

Sorry if this has any mistakes, but I'm about to go to school so I don't have time to check it :/ Ok, I need to make this quick but thanks for meeting the target! Tbh every time I set it I think that there is no way I'll be able to meet it and then you guys do! And you make my heart soar, I'm not even kidding. How about 78 for next time? No pressure, obviously, just feel free to help if you want to :)

Also, to the Guest who's reviewed loads and has asked for me to make longer chapters, I hope this is good :) It's 1900 words so not my longest but it's getting there :) I'll give you an even longer one next week, I promise ;)

Bye bye :)