Chapter 5 Lies, Lies,
Apparently, my very generous helpings of punishment had placed Gryffindor slightly behind Slytherin in house points. Needless to say, I've been experiencing moderate levels of exasperation from my fellow housemates. Of course, the Marauders are not one to limit themselves to such mediocre reactions.
The Marauders, not including Remus, glared at me all through breakfast today. They whispered and didn't even hide the fact that they were talking about me. In fact, I heard Black repeatedly say 'Traitor' loudly with Pettigrew even saying it before I dared him with a glare to do it again.
Today is the first Quidditch match of fifth-year. The first time Potter will be captaining the team. So, Potter and Black aren't in the common room to growl, or glare, or complain loudly near me. I sit, daydreaming, on the window seat, while Marlene and Mary chat beside me. Pettigrew walks passed me, delivering a surprise that was purple goo in the process. I use the word deliver loosely, as he actually slapped it on to my arm. Despite the fact that Mary, in particular, had vocalised the most anger towards me, in defence of the Marauders actions to the fourth-year Slytherins, she hexed Pettigrew, there and then, for what he did to me. I took five points from Pettigrew for what he did. When I turned to look at Remus, while Pettigrew was retreating to him, the corner of his mouth twitched, he's on my side.
"He deserved the points taken off him," Mary said encouragingly. We hugged and I knew we were talking again.
However, that did not stop the purple goo's quick transformation on my skin. Every minute or so my skin would tingle, and the word 'Traitor' would re-write itself and glow. I couldn't concentrate on watching Marlene and Mary talk anymore so I stood up.
"I'm going to the library," I announce.
"But you were going to help me study the seventh year's Chaser skill level at the match!" Marlene moaned.
"Come on Lily the Match is going to start in an hour!" Mary adds, "Besides a little Gryffindor house spirit might cheer you up from this dreadful mood you've been in"
Maybe Gryffindor's spirit of house pride and mine of house disloyalty is what I need to escape!
I wave goodbye to their annoyed expressions, grab my in-case of emergency Quidditch match escape bag, and turn to back to them.
"I need to finish my Charms essay" I lie.
"Whatever, go and spend time with that snake-Oh! I meant Snape," Marlene scowls, hurt.
"How easily those words can be mixed up" I glare at Mary's comment, she relents with a sigh "Don't trust him, Lily, he will hurt you eventually…if not overtly, like" she gulps "him, much more painfully with lies that you won't be able to bare anymore"
I finally turn away and speed walk out of the common room, holding my side bag against me. The tighter I hold it the more anxiety builds up inside of me. As I walk into the almost empty library I am met with the figure of Severus. First I feel a rush of relief, maybe the fact that he's here when I need him is a sign that he will always be there for me. But then, I notice I'm both fingering my tie absentmindedly and standing at the edge of Severus' table. I now realise that I've been staring at his tie, the green and silver morphing into a snake, hissing Mudblood, Blood traitors, Blood purity. I shake my head.
"Are you just going to stand there or are you going to sit down?" Sev asks warmly enough.
I can't let this Blood Purity death eater mania win by causing friction. His tie is not a snake. Severus is my best friend. My best friend who defended two of his own from perpetrators from my house. I sit down and take out my Charms textbook and essay to proofread and add to it if necessary.
"I had to escape my common room, the Marauders have been their usual annoying selves…and I'd be damned if I have to go and watch Potter and Black be cheered for too"
"Typical Gryffind-"He paused at my glare and amended what he was about to say. "Marauders, aptly named, as they're always terrorising the school. I don't see why they aren't suspended yet."
After chewing my lip for a while mulling over the word 'terrorising'. I think of the Death Eater Movement and my mind jumps to Mulciber's continued presence at the school.
"And what do you call what Mulciber did to Mary?" I blurt out.
"Who says Mulciber did that to Mary? Mulciber is not all too bright, whilst Potter is riding on his status as a Pureblood to avoid a well-deserved expulsion" He says breezily. Breezily. For Severus to be this calm about an accusation against his friend means he's confidently lying.
"But he's targeted her before!"
"What does it matter? If anything the experience is good practice or motivation for McDonald to better resist the spell next time around. In fact, it would be very useful to have it practised in Defence Against the Dark Arts-"
"Performing Unforgivables in school Severus?!"
Did I imagine the part of Wizarding law that classes Unforgivables as dark magic and illegal, forbidden for the amount of danger posed when learnt, never mind put into practice? Is the pursuit of knowledge too important that the words 'dark', 'illegal', and most importantly 'dangerous' don't resonate in Severus' mind?
"You are just unbelievable" I scowl.
"Oh come on Lily in an ideal world Unforgivables wouldn't exist, but since they do, learning to cast them is the best way in which we can best understand how to prevent them!"
I roll up my charm essay and put it in my bag.
"Don't go, please" He pleads.
I find a spare piece of parchment and begin to write notes on the advanced spell Professor Flitwick privately told me I should try and attempt in my spare time. I can feel my cheeks burning with anger. Although, after five minutes of silent working my anger recedes a little.
"Why are you even friends with him? I see you talking to him-" I begin coolly.
"We're housemates" He replies.
"-him and those other sorry excuses for wizards in your house!" I continue in an angered hiss.
"Lily" He attempts to look at me, but I turn away. "They're honestly not that bad…They wouldn't stand a chance against a brilliant witch like you!"
"Well not every Muggleborn or Muggle are like me Severus-and shouldn't have to be! Everyone has a right to be here!" Severus fingered through his Advanced Potions book making an 'mmm' sound.
"They should be free to study all aspects of magic too" Severus finishes.
Not this Dark Arts argument again!
"That's why we have DEFENCE against the Dark Arts-and that's the only context it should be studied in!"
"But increased magical knowledge can aid-"
"Hinder!"
"-fighting against Dark wizards!"
"Magic should only be used as a non-violent aid or for defence"
"Dark magic in defence could be good!"
I glance at the open page of his Advanced Potions textbook and saw the words 'for enemies' written underneath the word 'Septumsempra'. He must have invented a new spell.
"For enemies…" I whisper, I look straight ahead of me. I can sense his discomfort. I then turn towards him my face carefully formed to convey a passing interest.
"Promise me you won't join them…promise me you'll stop pursuing your exploration of dark magic," I say leaning closer to him. My eyes are staring at the side profile of his face. He sighs.
Severus thought Lily didn't understand his passion for learning and excelling. People like Potter had it easy, but Severus now had an opportunity to learn about the very subject he loved and earn his rightful place above worthless Blood traitors like Potter. When Lily sees how much better his way of thinking was…they would become the perfect team…a wonderful couple. Severus turned his head to meet the beautiful face of his companion. He would do anything for her. He would do anything to prove that he had the power to do so too.
"I promise," Severus was promising to reach that end goal. Lying by omission isn't really lying.
I can't find the truthful eyes that told me that it didn't matter that my parents weren't magical. But then again maybe he was lying by omission then too.
"I'm done with my work" I lie.
"But you've only written half a scroll's wor-"
"I just remembered, I promised to meet Marlene and Mary at the Quidditch match. I wouldn't want to break a promise would I?"
"Fine, Lily go. I have other things to do anyways"
I feel a little guilty, as he seems a little hurt.
"Shall we go for a walk after dinner tomorrow…if you can spare some time from those friends of yours" It took all the strength in me not to add bitterness to the word 'friends'.
"Of course, I'll always make time for you" he replied rather sweetly.
But his reply made my controlling of my emotions worth it. I mean if you control your true feelings around your best friend it makes the relationship work. Right?
Author Note
I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I was going to wait to publish later today, the chapter was originally going to be longer with Quidditch and more but I'm going to save it for the next chapter. I wanted to have a chapter with mainly Snape today. I just heard Alan Rickman died yesterday of cancer so I just wanted to pay homage to through an increased focus on the character he portrayed at least. Please comment and I should have the next chapter for you later today (when it's not 00:40). My exams went well by the way, hopefully, I did well! Favourites, Follows, and Reviews are always welcomed. I was finally able to see your second review annika many thanks for the tip, I've hopefully successfully taken it on board in this chapter.