A/N Okay, chapter four, this chapters from McGee's POV, yay! If you ask me, McGee should be given a nice big story line because he is awesome. Again, thanks so much for reading/ reviewing, and thank you if you're reading this! Hopefully, you'll enjoy, this chapters the longest and it was quite hard to write, seeing as I've changed it so many times. Well, read, review and hopefully you'll like it :D

Chapter 4- What now, McGee?

Gibbs sent me downstairs to find out what DiNozzo knew; he's been gone for about a half hour, which was pretty long, even for DiNozzo.

I got to the living room and noticed the guy, (James, right?) was sat on his own and Tony wasn't around.

I looked at him.

"Where'd DiNozzo go?" I asked him.

"Who?" He asked, looking up, a look of sheer confusion upon his face.

"The other agent? Came to interview you about a half hour ago?"

"Oh him. Yeah, he came over, and then just… Ran out the door. I'm sorry… I don't know where he went," he almost whispered, then looked down again.

Damn it, DiNozzo.

"Okay, thanks," I shouted in his direction, already headed out the door, intent on finding Tony before he did something stupid.

I paused on the driveway, realising I had no idea where the hell he'd gone.

Okay, right Tim, think. If you were DiNozzo, which way would you go?

He doesn't know the neighbourhood, right?

So, I took a guess and headed right, down the long street, breaking into a jog, praying I could find him soon enough.

I found him about 20 blocks away from the crime scene sat alone under a large oak tree, head in his hands. His entire body racking from the sobs.

I know that we aren't exactly close, but even so, it pained me to see him like this.

In all the years I'd known Tony, I'd never seen him like this.

Not when Kate died.

Not when Director Shepard died.

Not even when we left Ziva in Israel.

Never.

He mustn't have heard me approach because he jumped when I thudded down on the floor, causing all the fallen autumn leaves from under me to crackle and crunch.

I just sat there, looking around, waiting for him to say something.

I don't really know how long I waited, but after what seemed like forever, but was probably only a few minutes, Tony lifted his head and finally spoke.

"Did you see it, McGee?" Tony, asked me, staring straight ahead.

"See what?" I asked, confused.

"The look in that guy's eye," he said it as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"No, Tony. I didn't," I said, simply, still no idea where he was going with this.

"I've never seen somebody in that much pain. Never, McGee. He looked as though he would just crumble into a million pieces. Like his heart was lain, slashed open on the bed where his wife was. The one thing keeping him alive. Dead. Gone." He said, emotionlessly, still not looking at me.

"Tony, we see this kind of stuff all the time. Broken- hearted and grieving husbands, wives, siblings, children and parents. What's so different about this one?" I asked him.

"I don't know McGee."

"Yeah you do. Otherwise you wouldn't have run out of there." I stated, wanting some truth this time.

"I don't know McGee-" Tony began

"DiNozzo!" I interrupted him, raising my voice and getting angry now.

"Let me finish Tim." He said, without losing control and raising his own voice, as I had mine; though a look of anger crossed his face. "I don't know what it was… But when he looked at me, something about that… That pain and anguish, it just made every single thing that's ever hurt me just explode in my mind at the same time."

A few seconds passed. I wanted him to continue so I just stayed silent.

"The worst thing, the one that hit me the hardest, was that the look in his eyes was so familiar." He continued. "The dead, empty irises. It reminded me of- of when Ziva left. When I thought she was dead. I would've done anything to get away from wherever I was, anything to just die. But the thing is McGee, is that we got her back. Sure as hell she was damaged, but she was alive. Tim he's never going to get her back, he has to endure that pain for the rest of his life. It's just not fair." He dropped his head back into his hands.

I waited a minute or so, just to ensure he was done before I steered the conversation a completely different way.

"Tony?" I asked cautiously, unsure of what his reaction would be to my next question.

He lifted his head to look at me, "Yeah?" He asked, seemingly unaware of the apprehension in my voice.

"Are you- are you in love with Ziva, Tony?" I asked becoming tense and waiting for an explosion of anger to hit me.

Instead, his response took me completely by surprise.

"Yeah, McGee. I have been ever since the day I met her."

I didn't know how to respond to Tony's admittance.

"Oh." Was the only thing I could think of.

"You weren't expecting me to say yes, were you?" Tony said, the inklings of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"Honestly, no." I said.

I waited a few seconds, thinking through what I should say next.

"Does she...?" I asked, even though I already knew the answer.

"No." He said, almost as though it was a question. "It's like every time I see her I feel like I should be sad. Because I know y'know… I always have to remember that I'm never going to be the one she wants. It's killing me McGee, but I can't get rid of this… This tie… This hold that she has on me."

I knew the feeling.

"So you're not planning on…?" I asked, again already knowing the answer.

"Do you really think I would have waited six years if I was ever going to?" He asked, smiling sadly.

"Maybe… This sort of thing doesn't happen to you much, Tony." I said.

"I know. That's partly why I don't want to tell her. I don't wanna ruin it. I can live with the maybes and the what ifs, but… Not with her rejection." He said, looking down once again.

"You never know unless you try." I said, simply.

"I don't wanna try McGee." He said, sounding much like a spoiled toddler arguing over food.

"Well then the way I see it, you only have one option."

"Oh yeah, what's that?" He asked me, like he didn't already know.

"Get over her." I said, shortly.

I began to stand up.

"I- I can't do that McGee." He said, worried looking now.

"Well then, looks you're going to have to grow some balls," I said beginning to walk away, "and tell her!" I shouted behind me.

As I walked away, I was already forming a plan in my head. But, to put it into action, I was going to have to call in reinforcements.

I pulled out my cell and began dialling the number that belonged to my favourite person, the number I knew off by heart.

After two rings, she picked up.

"Hello Abby Sciuto's lab."

A/N Hopefully any question/ confusion as to why Tony ran out has now been answered, if not please let me know :)