Okay so 1. I'm fixing the summary today. Not gonna stall, promise
Currently I am listening to Arctic Monkeys while trying to focus so I already know I'm going top be so distracted trying to write this.
Right cause you're totally not distracted with drooling over someone working out in front of you. Mhm. Yes.
1. Stfu
2. I'm not drooling I'm gawking there's a difference
3. I think the guy I'm looking at might be like 17 ;_; so there goes that.
OKAY so I will be posting after this one soon so not to worry, I'm actually going to be posting.
RIP Soon
It never came..
Stfu.
Is that the only think you know how to say?
SHH. Okay let's do this before I actually lose my sanity in this argument with myself..
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By the time I had awaken it was dark in my cozy little… room after I had my little 'nap'.
I silently cursed to myself as I looked to the side at the open window, thanking whoever left it open. At least I wouldn't have died of boredom.. which wasn't the preferable way I'd like to go.
Though that could still be an option..
I yawned looking around the mostly bare room and sighed, there wasn't much to do since I was strapped to the brick hard bed in the cold room.
I started to think to myself of everything that had happened and it suddenly hit me.
Everything I've known for the past few months, have been all a lie.
I thought back of everything that has happened and suddenly everything made sense.
He remembered the time he had asked about his father to Levi, shocked his father had been caught and Levi's simple response was that he had "connections".
Were these connections? The fact that he had proof from watching my pain and misery? I didn't understand why he had done the things that he did. Then I suddenly had another realization.
Armin and Mikasa were the ones who called me in? How could they betray me like that?
My two best friends that I had practically known since birth, within a matter of seconds turned their back on me.
Before I knew it I started to sob quietly to myself, letting the world melt away. I didn't want this, I didn't want this heavy feeling in my chest. I gasped for a breath as tears streamed down the sides of my face, as I unconsciously let out a small cry.
Pathetic
I thought as I listened to myself. As much as I wanted to stop crying, I just kept going, splitting pain in my side from the stab wound as my body shook with every sob.
I wanted everything to end. Then pain, the feeling, the betrayal, the memories, I wanted it all to end. I wanted to close my eyes and never open them again, to just lie there and die in my sleep, not having to worry about another damn thing.
Is this what my life has become? Just lying here and crying like some helpless child?
I suddenly started to cry more as I continued to think to myself. Small whimpers into full blown tears and all. But I couldn't help myself. As much as I wanted to just remain quiet and rot away, I couldn't stop.
It had started and wouldn't end, and before I knew it, something warm touched the side of my face.
It caught me off guard as I sucked in a breath harshly, quieting. My cries had turned to whimpers, as tears continued to stream down.
I opened an eye slowly to see the worried face of Levi, as I let out a sorrowful rumble escape my throat.
"G..get away from me you d..damn liar.." I managed in a whisper, as he just continued to stroke my forehead. As much as I wanted to hate it, it was comforting in a way, causing me to get quieter and quieter, though my tear continued to roll down into the pillow.
"Hush brat before you wake others and your dumb ass gets sedated.."
Wow. Thanks for the words of empathy. Wait, was that what I wanted from him? His sympathy? Hell no. I wanted him away from me.
I pulled weakly at a restraint as I started to get louder again.
"Don't touch me… Don't touch me!" I knew I was acting rashly which probably wasn't helping my scenario, but the last person I wanted to be here was Levi, yet at the same time I wanted him to stay. I wanted him to melt away all the pain and hold me like he used to. I wanted to feel safe.
"Why…. Why did you lie to me…?" I whimpered, staring at him with every emotion I was feeling. Anger, Hate, Betrayal, Sadness, Loss, Confusion, and Regret. Such a wave of strong emotions that I felt sick.
"Eren…Please. Calm down…" He once again touched my shoulders but I pulled away, hysterical.
"No!" I screamed, pulling on the restraints hard as I could. I couldn't stand this anymore, this empty feeling in my chest that made me want go numb.
"Damn it stop before you rip your stitches!" Levi suddenly raised his voice, with one swift strong weight on my shoulders to keep me sturdy on the bed.
"You're sick Eren. You need to face it. You tried to kill yourself for god fucking sake. Doesn't that bother you in the slightest..?"
I started to hush as I stared up at him shocked. He looked like he was about to cry. The emotionless plastered face started to chip away as he kissed my forehead.
"I just don't want to turn anymore.." I whispered, closing my eyes, feeling overwhelmed with confusion.
"I..I thought things were getting better… but they were going to take me away.." I let out in a hoarse voice.
"I didn't want to live without all of you.. I didn't want to feel the pain anymore. But you betrayed me…" I sobbed, now quietly as his head rested on my chest.
"You were part of them.. Implanted in my world like some fake house plant. I thought for once I was loved truly. But it was all fake.. Do you know how much that hurts?"
I whispered, starting to feel the pain in my side increase after thrashing about so much.
"I'm sorry Eren…. Originally it was just a job but… I do love you… I want you to know that."
"I wish I could believe you.." I whispered, before crying out in pain, the pain in my side too much as I could see dark red slowly staining the bandages and white scrubs.
"Fuck" Levi hissed, getting up so fast I barely recognized it, as he clicked a red button by the side of the bed.
Pain burned through me as it felt as though acid was seeping into my lungs with every breath, every beat of movement.
"I..it hurts.." I whispered, my tears stopping as I suddenly help unnervingly calm, watching blood slowly spreading through the cloth.
"I told you you'd split them damn it.. I told you.." He hissed, pressing on the wound, trying to stop it from bleeding. Why was he so angry? I didn't understand, it wasn't him who was in pain, so why did he look so hurt?
My breath caught as I saw how rushed in the door with medical supplies, my calm feeling replaced with annoyance and more betrayal.
"Hurry the fuck up shitty eyes!"
The fucking science teacher? Are you fucking serious? Was anyone real anymore?
"Sorry but not everyone can pick up everything that they need in under five damn seconds." She giggled, which only seemed to piss Levi off more.
"No… Stop…" I whispered weakly, starting to feel woozy as Levi gave a concerned face and blocked my view, staring me in the eyes.
"He's starting look pale. Let's go before he fucking loses his fingers damn it." He hissed, and before I knew it I felt a pinch in my arm to see Levi injecting what must have been some anesthetic before I slowly closed my eyes and lose consciousness.
The moment I woke up I felt oddly calm, though I suspected I was still under some slight anesthetics as I took a deep breath. My eyes narrowed as I lighted my head slightly to see Levi's sleeping head on my legs.
My wrists and ankles were rubbed raw after all the trashing I had done the day before. I looked to the side watching the sun rise as I thought of the picture in my phone. The one of Levi staring at the sunset right after he'd confess he'd loved me.
Now it was just a painful and distant reminder of what I thought was real. When did everything become so fucked up? I tried thinking back to happy times when I was a kid with my mother and father. When everything was real. I thought of mother, and sighed, trying to remember why she left us. Why would she ever leave me? Her only son?
I winced a sudden memory tried to submerge, though too hazy for me to understand.
"Fuck.." I whispered, wishing I could at least rub my temples, my eyes, the bridge of my nose. Anything, after all that always seem to work for everyone else.. right?
I looked up slightly at Levi stirred, yawning quietly and rubbing his eyes. Sort of cute in it's own little way..
Fuck cut it out. Don't think like that anymore. For all you know he's just another heartless cold bastard.
"Morning…" He muttered, groggily getting up and pulling out his phone.
"Morning." I muttered bluntly, my wrists moving nervously under the restraints, full of what felt like a rug burn.
He looked over in the corner of his eye and started to call someone, nodding to me slightly before walking out the room.
"Have they decided yet?" I heard him talk outside the door, feeling a little self-conscious about eavesdropping seeing as last time went so well.
"And? Where are they going to place him?"
Place him? Place who, me? Where were they going to place me? I suddenly remembered about was Erwin had told me earlier, deciding which "branch" I was going to end up in.
"What.. Like now now? He's not ready now! Can't they wait till he's at least not as shaken? They're going to write him off and ship him off to those god damn buffoons!"
Panic washed over me as I started to once again struggle under the restraints, wanting to get the hell out of here.
"Damn it fine. But I swear to god if anything fucking happens to him I'll kill them all. Every single one of those Titan bastards.."
Titan? What the hell was he talking about? Before I knew it Levi walked in with a grim expression, walked over quickly to my bed.
"W..what are you doing.." I muttered, as he undid one of my restraints.
"We're going to decide who's care you're going to be in.." He muttered, not looking at me once.
"Aren't I like a danger to myself..?" I scoffed, suddenly defensive of the situation at hand.
"Exactly why you're going to be in this." I snorted as he pulled out a wheelchair, with restraints at the wrists and ankles.
"You're fucking joking right…?"
He looked at me with his normal bored expression as he muttered "You should know I hardly ever joke."
I gave him a cold glare back as I sat in the chair, letting him one again 'tie me down'.
"Yeah I should know. But everything that I knew had been a lie so far.."
I thought I'd caught a glance of a pained expression in his eyes but shrugged it off, not able to see his face as he went behind and opened the door, scanning his card. And with that, we left, slowly down the hallway to decide my fate.
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Okay so that took WAY too long to make, that was three days of writers block for you guys, I hope you're all happy. Also apparently shoulder and should are two different things but auto correct wants to be a douche and not tell me. So. Yeah.
Anyway I hope you guys like this chapter I put a lot of effort into making this and don't forget to follow, fave, and comment about the story.
Also don't be afraid to ask for anything you'd like to see in this or any suggestions you have, I'd love to hear them.
I even do collabs for story boards in case you're interested ;3
Well bye guys! I'll see you next chapter .w.
Oh okay just write me off I get it. I don't have to appear I supposed. I'm just *sniffle* an extra..
Stfu you rude bitch = ^ = Don't act innocent..
Ouch… that hurt my nonexistent black soul… I think you may have to kiss it better.
Go to hell =-=
I would but it seems you've already beat me..
=-= So done..
*Coff Num Coff*