O.M.G. I'm alive. And what's this? An update? What is going on here? I know, it's literally been a year since I've posted a new chapter. That's insanely ridiculous and I can't believe I allowed that to happen. I am so sorry to anyone who's been out there dying to read another chapter (if there's anyone who that even still applies to at this point). I wish I could say that school and work and tons of other things were getting in the way, but really I just lost steam with this story. I kinda even lost steam with Vampire Diaries altogether. I got hooked on some new shows and quickly became re-obsessed with Castle (which btw, everyone should start watching if they don't already) and I just couldn't pull out the next chapter since chapter 10 literally stopped on the part of the story in which after it, I had no further ideas. TVD has just gone so far in an opposite direction since I started this story, back after 2x01, so it was hard to find a place to continue to go with it. But magically, I was sitting here re-reading some of the awesome reviews some of you out there left me and I starting beating up on myself for having (anyone?) those who are still waiting have to wait this long. I, personally, absolutely hate long wait times and unfinished stories, so I couldn't do that to my own story anymore. I actually have 6 fics that are sitting here on my laptop waiting to be finished because I absolutely will not let myself start something that I can't seem to finish again. But anyways, enough with the useless rambling - I'm sorry for the super long wait and I ask please if anybody is still out there reading this, leave me a review because those are the only thing that pushed me to come back to this story.

BTW, I've already outlined the next chapter so it won't be another year wait for that one ;).

Angst anyone?

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or show plot points, but everything else is my own. Please don't plagiarize, it's lame.

Chapter Eleven: Blame

What the fuck just happened? Damon sat on his bed, feet planted firmly on the ground, face in his hands. He couldn't remember the last time so many crazy actions took place in such a short amount of time. Stefan witnessed his brother having sex with his ex-girlfriend. Stefan brushed the former off as being completely expected and okay. Elena told Stefan and himself that she, in fact, loved Damon Salvatore. Elena basically broke up with Damon mere seconds after the fact. To repeat, what the fuck just happened?

Damon hadn't even realized that he had mentioned that he knew about the affair Stefan was having, never mind the fact that he had told Stefan about the importance of revealing his infidelity to Elena.

He slapped his hands against his face. Damn it, how could you screw things up so bad after they were coming along so beautifully? He knew things were too good to be true. He knew that knowing about Stefan's affair (and assisting him in keeping it quiet) would come back and bite him in the ass. It was inevitable. But, wait. Fuck that. This was not his fault. Why would he have to tell Elena about Stefan's affair? That was not his place. He wasn't a part of their fucking relationship. Let Stefan do what he wants. If Elena was suspicious, why didn't she confront Stefan? Why didn't she tell Stefan first that she was having sex with him, before he could walk in on them? Screw that, why didn't she not fuck him and go tell her boyfriend that it was over?

He could still taste Elena's blood in his mouth.

Damon stood. He needed a god damned shower. His feet guided him to the bathroom and under the shower's spray. Hopefully this could be fixed – all of it. How was that going to happen? He didn't have the slightest clue.

Elena barely made it home driving through her tears. Everything was imperfectly perfect and then it all just tumbled down around her. She knew that her relationship with Stefan was over the second she stepped into bed with Damon Salvatore, whether or not she would admit to believing it at the time it first happened. She knew that Stefan had a right to know that she was sleeping with Damon, but didn't she have an equal right to know that Stefan was cheating on her with Katherine? Katherine, of all people on this earth. But Damon. How could he do that to her? She was just starting to really put all her trust in him. He was there whenever Stefan wasn't and he was nice – just nice. Damon didn't do nice, yet he went out of his way to be incredibly good for her.

But that niceness could not help to hide the fact that what he did was wrong. How could he not tell her? It was the only thing that kept repeating on loop in her mind as she parked her car and stumbled up the stairs to her room. But, this was it. Stefan cheated on her and lied about it. Elena cheated on him and lied about it. Even trade. They were both assholes and each party paid the price: the end of their once perfect relationship. Damon knew everything that Stefan was doing and encouraged him to tell her about it. What did she keep from Damon? Absolutely nothing. How could there be a fair trade off here then? She hadn't done anything to hurt Damon before, so why would he do such an awful thing to her and expect her to be fine with it all? Ugh, it was all so angering. She needed a god damned shower. She stumbled to the bathroom she shared with Jeremy, locked both doors and found herself standing under the hot spray. She would not cry about this. Those damn boys did not deserve her tears. But she couldn't stop them from coming anyway.

The sun was high in the sky, reflecting off the light dew on the barely pre-afternoon grass as Elena walked through the local park. Her flip-flopped feet were becoming itchy from the blades of grass flicking between her toes as she walked. She didn't want the path today; hillsides and dirt were going to be her friend instead. The park was nearly empty, not strange for a day in the early fall, but it was nice out and Elena needed a walk to clear her head and hopefully cheer up her mood. The lack of people in the area encouraged her to take a breather and lie down on the hill that overlooked a small pond. The quiet would ultimately cause her to think way too much about her current situation, but she figured that her thoughts would be plagued by this situation all day anyway, so why not go and sit where it's quiet and nobody would find her and bother her with annoying questions that she did not want to answer anyway. She pulled her cell phone out of her jeans pocket and turned it to silent. She scrolled through the "missed alerts" on her phone even though there were none; specifically none from Damon.

Despite her anger towards him, she desperately needed him to call her, or text her, just talk to her. Mainly she wanted to yell at him and give him a piece of her mind on the fact that he lied. She needed to get it out and she felt that he deserved it and he would take it from her like nobody else would right now. She needed someone who wasn't on her side because she desperately wanted to be right, despite the part of her that screamed "you're a jackass."

She closed her eyes, the sun warming her face and she sighed. Screw it all. This day couldn't get any worse.

Elena wasn't aware of how much time had passed. She didn't figure that she felt asleep; her brain wouldn't shut down so there was no way sleep was possible. Her face screwed up in anger immediately following the moment someone stood in front of her, blocking the sun and casting a cool shadow over her face. She popped one eye open and let out a huff upon seeing the person's face.

"Fancy a walk in the park, love?" he questioned.

"Damon, why did you follow me here?" she questioned harshly.

"I beg to differ. I did not follow you here. Believe me. You're the last person right about now that I want to see. I thought that walking through the park would be the last place anyone would figure me to be, particularly you, and therefore I could go on with my shitty day by myself." He sat down next to her. "But I guess that this is fate, so I should probably stay because I need to talk to you."

Yes, they needed to talk, she agreed, but that didn't mean she wanted to. She didn't want to hear his side. She just wanted to bitch.

"Damon, I don't want to talk to you right now," she started, "because everything I want to say starts or ends in a curse and will get us nowhere other than more angry with each other."

"Good. I never said I wanted to hear what you had to say. I said I need to talk to you...not with you. So shut up and let me speak."

"Screw off, Damon."

"Curse all you want princess, but I'm pretty fucking ticked off at you right now, so I'm just going to talk over whatever it is that you want to say." He was blunt because basically, that was all he could think of to get through to her and have her hear him out.

She made a noise he determined to mean she didn't give a fuck as she closed her eyes, obviously trying to prove she was going to ignore him. He decided to start anyway.

"Stefan was fucking Katherine...for months. I knew it since basically day one. Yeah, it pissed me off to no end that he was doing that and that you had no freaking clue. I was going to tell you the second I found out but I went to your room and all I could do was apologize for the crap that I had done, because they were my own actions. I killed your brother, I tried to kiss you. All that was my fault. Stefan sleeping with Katherine...that was in no fucking way my fault. I apologized for the shit that I did, you forgave me and my duty was done."

Elena's eyes slowly opened to focus on his face.

"You never wondered where Stefan was all the time? Why I was constantly trying to keep you outside of the boarding house? Or why I kept asking you weird questions like why you like Stefan? And about honesty and loyalty?"

She opened her mouth to speak, but he left no room for discussion.

"God damn it, Elena. I was trying to give you every clue. It wasn't my place to have to tell you something like that. I couldn't bear to have to sit you down and tell you that your boyfriend was cheating on you. Sure, maybe a part of me was waiting for you to walk in on him or something so that maybe it would crush you and you would realize that he was a lying dick and you shouldn't be with him, but he's my brother. I hold some loyalty to him as well. He asked me to keep this a secret. He asked me to lie to you, but not once. Not once did I lie to you upfront about what he was doing, but I left it open for you to ask, Elena. You can't blame me for this. But you know what? If you want to blame me for this, fine. If you need to make it seem that Stefan cheating, you cheating and all this crap is on me? Fine, do it. I don't even care anymore." Abruptly, he stood. "You can fuck off, Elena, because I'm done."

Just as he started to walk away she stood and shouted.

"You were my friend!"

He turned around to look her in the eye. "Yeah, so?"

"So, you're supposed to tell friends stuff, like when their boyfriends are having sex with other women," she spat angrily while walking closer to him, her shoulders squared opposing his.

"You were fucking your boyfriend's brother. Do you realize how shitty that sounds right now? I didn't lie down with you and then run off to Katherine, Elena. You are trying to make it seem like I'm just as much of a prick as you were. I'm not. I don't lie. I don't sneak around. I don't spread my legs for whoever comes over and is willing to provide me with comfort. Look in the mirror, Elena, because that's you. Lying and cheating defines you."

He saw the tears that filled her eyes, the glassy tone clouding her brown irises. He couldn't stop. She was finally listening and maybe his aggressively, harsh attitude towards her would give her the kick in the ass she needed. He didn't know where it was coming from, but he knew nobody else would give it to her straight.

"If you think I'm being a dick, fine. If you never want to see, speak to or hear from me ever again, fine. If you want to forget that me and my brother ever existed, fine. But the last thing I will let you do is treat me like shit because you're too stubborn to let yourself realize that this is not my fault. You want to be mad, go talk to Stefan, because he cheated on you, not me. I'm single, sweetheart so I can sleep with whomever I want. You, on the other hand, should look at the fact that we slept together repeatedly while you were in a relationship. Maybe you should start placing the blame on yourself for a change."

He ignored the tears that rolled down her cheeks, the gasping for breath that she had just started to do and the darkening of the sky that seemed to occur specifically to fit their moods.

"I loved you, Elena. I would have been so good to you; I would have given you the world."

He turned around and walked away, not once looking back and not bothering to speed of. She deserved to watch him go. She deserved to hurt after what she had done to Stefan, whether or not Stefan cared to make her hurt. She deserved to know that he wasn't going to put up with her crap or baby her anymore. Welcome to the real world, Elena.