So hey guys, and thanks for tuning into the next chapter of NR!

First off... I do apologize for the incompetence of my computer... I think I cried when this chapter got lost *mumbles* And I worked so hard on it too, the first time... Anyways, my angry little fingers were determined to retype this chapter, so here it is!

Thanks to: That One Reviewee (thanks, and welcome back! 8D), OscarMerrinoz96, Crystal, GCFarron, H-thar, Mylaervain, and Zapper90! You guys are awesome, and once again, props to LadyAlaska (I'm sorry... sentinel Light is just too adorable. Sentinel Hope should be next. *cackles*)

Anyways... the centrepiece of this chapter is an extreme HxL... to the point where I think I actually had to stop and control my squealing a couple times throughout writing (and rewriting) that part. So... yeah. That's all I'm gonna say. I did use, once again, a couple lines off Yuna Ito's Trust You (believe I used it back in Chapter 43); obviously, I don't own it.

Enjoy as always!

Chapter 51: Light and Darkness

Pressed against the stone ridge, fear and helplessness rendering him unable to even grasp the controlled desperation he needed to summon his Eidolon, Hope had closed his eyes in anticipation of the attack, had expected the blade of the scythe to bury itself into his skull... but it didn't happen. Instead, he heard the ear grating screech of metal on metal, and slowly, he opened his emerald eyes, unsure of what to expect, before shock made every muscle in his body freeze.

Lightning was standing in front of him, her omega weapon locked with the blade of the scythe as she tried to force it away from them. For a moment, warm surprise and appreciation prevented him from doing anything but admire, in a sick and bizarre way, the sight in front of him. She does care... doesn't she? The thought was touching in so many ways... that she'd finally overcome the barrier holding her back because he'd been in danger. It was impossible not to feel touched by the thought.

Hope wrenched himself out of the warm, happy thoughts when he heard her grunt of effort - she was slowly being pushed back by the figure and he could see her struggling to hold back the downward force. His own Aerora sent the enemy away from her, and she dropped her arms the moment the two weapons were no longer in contact, panting.

"Light!" It was impossible to tell what she was thinking, impossible to gauge her emotions in the brief break the Aero spell had given them. There was only enough time to see that she was okay, that her hands weren't trembling on the handle of her weapon, before the figure launched itself back at them. Both of them moving back to avoid the first sweep, Hope saw her catch the return slice of the curved blade with her omega weapon again, effectively locking the enemy into place. The second blow was more powerful than the first had been, and with a heartbeat of dread, Hope realized the thing was going to overpower her if he didn't do something in the next few heartbeats.

His second Aerora caught the thing in the chest, flinging it away from her, and Hope watched in satisfaction as it hit a jagged rock, falling still for a few moments before he sent a Thundaga at it, lighting up the entire sky for a few seconds. A single gunshot echoed through the jags of rocks and it twitched a few more times before finally falling still, slowly dissipating into black smoke.

Turning away from its direction, Hope took the time to fully look at Lightning. She was staring at the omega weapon she held in her hands like she couldn't believe what she was doing. Like... like she's scared she's done the wrong thing. Slowly, she sank to her knees, grip loosening on the handle of the gunblade until her palms were flat against the stone, pressing the weapon underneath her hands. Running to her, he caught her before her knees fully touched the ground, instantly feeling the strain of lifting her up.

"Light... Light, you're okay, right? You're not hurt?" He knew the latter wasn't true, but it helped him calm down when she fixed tormented, intense blue eyes on him, her left hand finding his wrist.

"No... But... are you?" The question was asked in a shaky voice that he knew she couldn't quite control yet, but he'd seen the flash of concern cross her teal gaze. Shaking his head, Hope slowly lowered her to the cold ground, watching her try and control her breathing. How do I even... "I'm sorry," she choked out quietly. "You needed help and all I could do was stand there... you almost died again and-"

"And it's not your fault," he finished firmly for her. "You came. That's all that matters." The warmth that had filled him in the moment he'd realized that she was defending him was back, flooding his consciousness as he slowly slid his wrist up in her grip until their fingers found each other, and her steel grip closed on his small fingers the moment they met, gripping him like he was a lifeline.

"But I..." Hope lowered himself, squatting down until their eyes were on the same level. Hesitantly, he reached for her other hand, relieved when she let him hold it. He found their gazes locking onto one another as he tried to calm his own feelings - the warmth now mixed with a slight frustration that she couldn't see it wasn't her fault, that her coming to his defence was all that mattered in the end.

Forcing the next words to sound strong and firm, he tried again. "Don't go there. Light... it's enough that you did come... okay? Stop hating yourself for something you did right." He heard her gasp at the last word, once again, reminding him of his earlier insight that she was scared she'd done something wrong by fighting again. Suddenly much more sure that this was the right thing to do, he continued. "See...? You didn't end up hurting anyone, no one got hurt because you were fighting. So please, Light... don't be scared anymore?" The last words came out as a plea even though he didn't want it to. If he was honest with himself... he still needed - and wanted - her protection, her attention. He wanted to see the strong soldier that had vowed to keep him safe, even if that thought was childishly selfish.

Lightning had closed her eyes, and he could see she was trying to fight past the inner doubt and insecurities to comprehend what he'd said. Slowly, Hope let his hands trail past her waist again, feeling the same warm burn start somewhere at the bottom of his spine and beginning to work its way up his body whenever he touched her like that, and gently pulled her into an embrace, pressing his forehead against her shoulder, feeling her heartbeat against his own.

When she returned it almost instantly, Hope let the warmth and the closeness of the moment totally envelope him. For a moment, he could believe that he was back in Palumpolum, back with his own mother as Lightning pulled the embrace tighter than it already was, her hands meeting at the small of his back. "Thank you," he heard her murmur against the scarf wrapped around his neck, her voice muffled by the filmy cloth. The intimacy of that moment was overwhelming because neither of them wanted to let go. Hesitantly, he buried his face against the bare, exposed skin of her right shoulder, breathing in.

"Thank you too... Light. For coming to save me." Her grip shifted slightly around him, and he felt her lift her head, but she made no move to pull away. When he gently pressed his lips against her shoulder, Hope felt her flinch, then relax, allowing the contact. Trying to calm his erratic breathing, he tried to control the blush that was creeping up his cheeks, but it was impossible. It was impossible to deny the way he was reacting and the closeness of the moment, especially when it was compounded because she didn't try to push him away.

It was a long time before they finally let the contact loosen; looking up, he saw his own blush mirrored faintly on her pale skin as she slowly stood up, pulling him up with her. Suddenly unwilling to let her go, to let her leave, Hope found himself irrationally scared when he looked at the delicate confidence he'd managed to put back into her eyes. She noticed the sudden tightening of the lingering grip, and she looked down again, her hand hesitantly reaching up to his face.

"What's... wrong?" Her voice was still unsteady, but the concern was evident in the soft tones. Suddenly ashamed and afraid to admit it, all he could do for a moment was clutch her closer, pulling her in by the vest, burying his face against her shoulder again. It was so, so hard to explain the rush of emotions that had come the moment he'd realized she was going to be okay. For the first time, Hope had no idea how to explain things to her.

Her grip on him tightened as she slowly pushed him away from her, gently forcing him to look at her, clearly waiting for something. Uncertainty had settled back in her cerulean eyes, and he swallowed, knowing she would start blaming herself if he let her thoughts go for too long again. "Light... I can't do this anymore."

The words were so pathetic, so utterly out of place and selfish that it was a few moments before she processed what he said. He heard her soft intake of breath.

"What... are you talking about?" Her query just made him more uncertain that this was the right thing to do. She doesn't... get it.

"Light. I... I'm scared." There. He'd said it. 'Scared' wasn't a simple two syllable adjective... especially right now. Right now, it embodied everything. Her, the Eclipse... and he couldn't keep the memories and feelings back anymore. Unconsciously reaching for her again, he wanted the comfort the old Lightning could have given him, only he knew that the person he was looking for was gone, buried under the pain of Serah's death. Gently, she moved her arms up until they were loosely wrapped around his neck, her forearms pressing against the teal scarf. She didn't say anything, and Hope glanced up, somewhat afraid, to gauge her reaction to the simple statement.

The blue eyes held a mess of emotions: guilt, fear, pain... All the things he didn't want her to feel right now. "Hope..." she began quietly, her voice no more steady than it had been earlier. "I-I'm sorry..." She looked away. "I promised I'd take care of you... and instead, it's been the opposite way around. I should have-"

"No!" He cut her off before she could go on. "No, Light... it's not like that... I'm not blaming you! I-I wanted to see you get better, I wanted you to stop hurting... and if it meant you dumping your feelings on me... that's okay. But... I'm scared too... I'm scared." At this, his arms reached for her; automatic, yet at the same time, awkward, in a gesture to pull her closer to him again, as if the moment he let go of her, she was going to snap again. Hope took several shaky breaths before continuing, trying to suppress the emotions that were making their way into his voice.

It wasn't that he didn't want to see her better, and Maker knew he'd let her spill her emotions to him for the rest of her life if it made her feel better. But... he wasn't. He'd acted strong... because she needed him to. He'd been her 'soft spot', so to say, to fall, because she needed it. But when it seemed that finally, she seemed to have grasped some purchase on the rough surface of the mountain to 'living' again... he couldn't do it anymore. He was just as scared as she was. He needed her just as much as she had needed him. It was impossible not to look up to her as a sort of surrogate mother figure... if that was indeed all their relationship was anymore. And if she snapped somewhere down the road... he didn't know how he could deal with it. It was impossible to put this fear into coherent words.

"Light... I supported you... because you needed it." The sentence had come out so wrong... like he wouldn't have done it otherwise, in any other situation, but he plunged on, desperate to let the storm of emotions out. "But... but I'm still scared... of losing you. I need you. So please... don't leave again?"

Lightning flinched, their grip on each other suddenly confining and strange, the earlier warmth wiped away by his admission. Maker, please... don't let that make her lose it again... I didn't mean to hurt her again... All I wanted was for her to tell me things would be okay. He felt like the immature, scared kid he knew some part of him still was, but that didn't matter anymore. Gently, she relaxed, and he felt her brush away the tears on his cheeks hesitantly. He hadn't realized he'd been crying.

"I promised... I'd try... right?" Her voice was uncertain, and he could tell she was fighting to keep it steady. "Hope... I'm sorry... I didn't know..." She'd lowered her voice until it was a raspy whisper. "I didn't know." There was a long pause in which none of them said a word, her left hand still lingering on his face. "I'll try," she repeated quietly.

Slowly, he pulled her hand off of his cheeks, intertwining their fingers. She seemed to understand... seemed to understand that he still needed her support. She seemed to understand that their need was mutual. Uncertainly, he let his head rest against the hollow of her throat, against the fabric of her sweater and the cold of her necklace, feeling both her breathing and heartbeat accelerate at the contact. But she made no move to pull away, instead moving her right hand to smooth down some of the ruffled platinum locks at the back of his head, the fingers of her other hand twined tightly with his.

The desperate clench of their hands calmed him a little, and suddenly, he was back in Palumpolum, with his mother, the night before they'd left for Bodhum. The memory was a little hazy in his head, and Hope realized, with a sudden, painful pang, that he couldn't remember exactly what they'd said to each other. But the embrace that had followed had to have been similar to this, or else he wouldn't be reminded of it now. For a moment, the contact confused him, and he had to remind himself that the person in front of him was not Nora Estheim, but Lightning.

Unwilling to break away from the comfort the gesture he'd started gave him, he stayed that way until he felt her heartbeat calm, and his own shaky breaths steady. This time, when they broke apart, there was no faint trace of a blush on her cheeks. For the first time, the calm teal eyes reminded him of the old Lightning... the way she'd looked at Serah when her sister had been doing something silly with Snow. Hope saw her give her head a little shake, as if clearing the emotions of their moment away before she bent to pick up her omega weapon, pushing it back into its holster.

"I promised I'd look out for you." The statement this time had no uncertainty. "You're so..." she paused, trying to find the right words. "You're so caught up in... trying to make me feel... protected and comforted. I don't want that to happen... not when you're trying to pull a self sacrifice moment in trying to help me. I promised... I'd try living again. So... look after yourself too, okay?" Her next words were quiet and hoarse; they held no hesitation, nor did she sound embarrassed or scared to admit it. "I need you too. More than you know."

For a moment, Hope let the eight words warm him to the point where again, he was no longer sure of where he was. Feeling the slight blush beginning to creep up his face again, he turned aside, coughing delicately to hide his embarrassment. I... mean something to her? The thought was silly - of course he knew he had meant something to her, but to actually hear her admit that he wasn't just a kid she was glad to have taken home with her... that some part of her depended on him for continued existence... the warmth was impossible to banish.

"Come on...," she murmured to him quietly. "Let's go find Snow." She set off, a little unsteadily, wincing as she briefly wrapped her left hand around her middle for a moment, before her steps evened out.

Tagging after her, Hope tried to contain the small bubble of happiness that arose in his chest even though the situation was no less serious than it had been just half an hour earlier. It was impossible not to feel happy, impossible not to feel the warmth flood every single extremity when he thought of the moment.

Light...

I love you, I trust you
I want you to share your loneliness with me.

I love you, I trust you
Even in light and even in darkness
We can trust each other when it's just the two of us
No... please don't leave anymore.

Snow pushed back the black bandanna on his forehead, feeling the sweat that lined the edge of the cloth as he eyed the enemy that showed no sign of relent in its assault. Closing his fists, he clenched the leather of his gloves together to throw another Waterga at it, but the scythe wielding figure sliced through the powerful spell as if the large bubble of water was nothing more than a waterdrop. Snow felt the same desperation eat away at his interior. Damn. I'm wasting too much time here... Sis and Hope... The moment that his desperation rose to the surface, Snow felt, for the first time since Serah's death, a small cold crystal form in his right hand. He crushed it under his fingers before another thought crossed his mind.

The beautiful, lithe figures of Stiria and Nix burst from the blue sphere of ice and water and they settled beside him, quietly observant of the enemy in front of him.

"Let's get him," he hissed to his Eidolon, watching them dance forward with him as Stiria sent a Cure spell his way. Feeling his exhaustion being wiped away by the spell, he pushed forward again, combining his own Froststrikes with Nix's attacks. Using a Steelguard to block a blow from the scythe, he felt Stiria send another healing spell at him. Using Nix to help him jump into the air, Snow willed his Eidolon to merge.

The Shiva sisters responded to his thoughts, linking together to make the motorcycle that he landed on, pushing the vehicle forward as he rammed the front wheel into the enemy, sending it flying into the air as it staggered backwards.

"Cool 'em off!" he snarled into the night air, flipping the bike into the air as it created the giant flowering spikes of ice that reflected the moon's light. The black smoke that dissipated from the attack surrounded him for a brief few seconds as the Eidolon vanished; the small heart shaped crystal reforming in his hand for a brief moment before that too, disappeared.

Sitting down with his back to the ice wall that had been created, Snow draped his arms over his knees. He hadn't felt the concentration needed to summon Shiva in a long time... Not since before Serah...

That thought hurt - that the last time Stiria and Nix had been beside him, Serah still existed. As positive as he tried to make his thoughts, the pain still lurked somewhere at the back of his mind, striking at inopportune moments... such as now. It was infinitely easier to concentrate on the present when he was busy, when he was living, but when he sat down, when there was a moment of calm, she crept into his thoughts inevitably.

Serah was always there, in everything he did. It was her that drove him onwards now... the desire to see what they'd started finished, the desire to know that she could now peacefully rest. Snow refused to think about what might become of him when that task was completed. An empty shell, like the one Lightning was struggling so hard to get out of? Purposeless was not something he'd ever wanted to be. Without a focus... in the cruelest sense of the word possible, what would he be?

His life had been so singularly focussed on Serah's happiness and Serah's wellbeing that he had never once considered what he might do when she was gone. It had never occurred to him that she would be gone so quickly. Even then, even when she had first entered crystal stasis, he had never stopped fighting... for her. So what the hell am I going to do... once we finish this?

Going back to NORA was too painful - he could never hold that side of himself up again without thinking of her. And without Serah... what was the point of staying at their house? He didn't want to see Lightning drag herself out of bed every morning... and Snow realized just how hard Serah's legacy gripped him when he realized he didn't want to be reminded of happier days. Sure, it was easier to think of her in happy memories, but it was like he had realized before: in their house, it was impossible not to think of who was missing.

Snow got up, shaking his head, before the thoughts could get more forlorn. He couldn't be thinking about that now, not when there was still something to finish. Turning to the translucent block of ice behind him, he realized that he had blocked the only way down from the hillside... and there was nowhere else to go unless he felt like jumping off.

"I just have the best luck in the world, don't I?" he muttered to himself. He'd just been wondering whether an Aquastrike would be effective or not on the ice spikes that showed no signs of melting when he heard footsteps behind him. Turning around, he raised his fists, expecting another enemy when he saw the distinctive pink and silver hair in the moonlight.

"Sis! Hope!" He saw dubious look on both their faces, and it was a moment before he realized that Lightning actually looked like she was mocking him. The thought was bittersweet - she hadn't had the strength... or will, to degrade him since... Since before Serah died. Snow didn't know whether to feel happy or slightly irritated by the fact.

"What... are you doing?" Her question was shrewd, but he noted that it was still a little unsteady... almost as if she was unsure if she should have been asking him the question.

He scratched the back of his head. "See... I had to use Shiva to defeat one of those scythe creeps... and the ice is kinda blocking the way down." It almost made him feel gratified when she had the confidence to roll her eyes at him. Sis...

A sudden burst of flame left Hope's hand before he had to even ask, as the Firaga consumed the rest of the shimmering ice, leaving a still pool of water that reflected the moon's bright light back at them. He felt Lightning brush by him, her steps still a little unsteady and hesitant, but for the first time since Serah's death, he saw near total calm in her eyes. He couldn't resist.

"You're alright, Sis?" She threw him a glance that made him feel confident and scared at the same time. Yes, there was more certainty in her gaze now, but he could see the shadows that lurked at the back of her expression.

"I think... I think I finally realized what's important to me. Even if... even if Serah's gone," she finished quietly, a flicker of pain burdening her gaze for a moment.

The mention of Serah's name by her tugged at his heartstrings, and Snow struggled to push down the sudden pull of pain that the mere mention of her. It was impossible to forget, but they had to keep going. Even if they never forgot... even if they never would let go of her... they had to finish what they started.

Snow found himself leading the way down the narrow mountain pass. "You got that right," he ascertained. "Now... let's go show these creeps exactly who they've messed with."

*squeals*

I finally, finally finished retyping this chapter this morning... and I'm about to go to work, so, I'll be away from the computer for a good while, which may be a good thing because I really, really hope I got HxL right. The duality of their relationship was so, so hard to try to get right... *pets Hope* He knows she needs him to be strong... but at the same time, he needs her as well. I'll have to go comfort myself with the thought that I could have done worse... so I'll go hide under my rock for the rest of the day.

As usual with my Friday updates, I'll aim for an update this weekend, but I am going to be fairly busy, so please don't hate me if you don't see one this weekend. The next update will be Monday afternoon at the latest. Leave love as usual, and I'll see you guys next time!

Hearts!

*proceeds to go hide*