Note: A retrospective look on Sasuke's relationships and Naruto's bitter humor. Drabble Format.

Plot Device: Naruto never bonded with Sasuke over the mission at Wave. Therefore, Sasuke's closest 'friend' is Kakashi.

Warnings: language, mild OOC.

Best Friends

1. Best friends?

"I never thought my own student would come at me with the Chidori," Kakashi laughed humorlessly as he observed his student from a hospital window. Orochimaru's cursed seal was still pulsing on Uchiha Sasuke's neck, flowering out and retreating to his heartbeat. "Of all the outcomes of when he would submit to the cursed seal, I didn't expect that." The beeping of the monitors that regulated the Uchiha's vital stats did not break from their rhythmic beeping. There was a medical staff on call at all times; Konoha didn't want to lose their last Uchiha.

Feeling every second of his life catch up years at a time, Sarutobi Hiruzen sucked and puffed on his pipe a couple of times and said casually, "I had a couple investigators search through the Uchiha grounds and what we found did explain some of his actions." The Hokage cleared his throat, "Scrolls from the family library hidden under young Uchiha's bed in a small box detailing the ultimate form of the Sharingan, one that's even beyond the three tomoes. Sounds familiar, Kakashi? No? What about the Mankeyo Sharingan?" Kakashi slowly turned to regard the Hokage with one lone eye, only moving his neck and nothing else.

"No it doesn't, please elaborate." Subtle steel laced the inner parts of the jounin's voice, like a small lining of frost on corners of the windows during the winter, it could hardly be noted. "Please elaborate why he, a genin, decided to try to ambush a former ANBU captain at Training Ground Seven to kill said former ANBU captain with his own jutsu."

"The Mankeyo Sharingan is what Itachi had when he trapped you in his Genjutsu, Tsukuyomi. You wrote of it in your report after you had recovered from your last encounter with him, intriguing effects I must note. Ibiki was quite adamant on reading your files though I stopped him from going any further. The Uchiha clan scrolls gave us a lot of insight." Hiruzen took out his pipe and scratched his beard, "Did you know that to gain such a powerful gift such as the Mankeyo Sharingan, you have to pay a price, you have to suffer a trauma on your very psyche that twists your mentalities." The jounin stared at him through his lone eye, unreadable; the vein on the back of his left hand twitched once. "You have to destroy a relationship that personifies your connection with an outside family member. Specifically, you have to experience the impacted feelings of killing your best friend. You have to think about the action, recall every detail of the memory and question yourself how it changes you. Only when you openly aknowledge it can you gain the Mankeyo Sharingan."

The grey-haired jounin pondered the speech for half a minute; the heart monitors in Sasuke's room continued to beep rhythmically. "His closest companion not related by blood you say?"

"Your death will be my gain. I feel partially bad for doing this, Hatake Kakashi, you were a good teacher and I only wished that I learned more," Sasuke had spoken with a low tone with minimal amounts of regret. His skin began to turn blue as tomoes erupted in a networking pattern across his skin. A bandaged hand clenched as they began to channel lightning chakra, the sounds of chirping of a thousand birds filled the air. Kakashi blinked, unable to believe what was going on. "Sayonara…" Sasuke's Sharingan flared to life, he disappeared in mid-step, "Chidori!"

"He thought it was me? I'm flattered." Kakashi said blandly, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"The medic nins don't expect him to wake up for at least another couple of days. Interrogation is anticipating his wakening." Sarutobi stepped back from the door and walked down the hall, the jounin followed.

Kakashi stared down at the half burned genin knocked out at his feet. It had taken a Katon jutsu, a Kawarimi, and a blow to the head to knock out the Uchiha. It was pathetically easy and did not compare well with the revelation that his student just tried to murder him. The Copycat-nin watched in morbid fascination as the cursed seal on the Uchiha's neck junction began to retreat back to the original bite source before he sighed and took the boy to the section in the hospitals they reserve for enemy nins.

"Though I must ask myself," Kakashi murmured, "If he thought that I was his closest companion, then what could he have possible considered Naruto or Sakura? My contact with him was limited and for him to think that I was his so called 'best friend'… Were the three of them ever close? I thought they were, especially after the team bonding exercises I pushed them through and the infamous mission to Wave. Sasuke pushed Naruto out of the way of a senbon barrage. I thought at that moment that they had finally reached a weak understanding."

"Apparently not," the Hokage answered crisply, pushing open a door that led to a sky bridge to the administration building, "Your observations of Team Seven therefore could not be trusted. You know how much Homura, Koharu, and Danzo have been demanding reports of the children's psychological state. While I can pass off some of Uchiha's actions off as Orochimaru's influence, it does not hide the fact that Mitarashi Anko, another victim of the cursed seal, is still loyal to Konoha, and that his loyalty to his teammates and his sensei is non-existent." There was a tense silence between them; Kakashi bit his tongue to prevent himself from making a harsh rebuke, "Now that I have time to think about it," The elder man sighed, "both Naruto and Sasuke's mental reports are probably grossly incorrect. I'll have to call Naruto in and question him.

"It'll have to have an informal appearance though. For some odd reason, the sight of Danzo used to make him freeze when he was little. Maybe the questionings should be conducted in a place that he is familiar with, somewhere outside the office. I'll need to have Ibiki and Inoichi and my two old teammates observe the proceedings without being seen and write a whole new profile for him… Troublesome." The aged leader opened the last set of doors and walked into the Hokage's chamber. He waved a hand, dismissing one of his best jounins, but not before adding, "You weren't a bad sensei, Kakashi. But I think both of us underestimated the genins' capabilities of hiding their inner thoughts from their commanders. To have such an event blow up in front of me, right after the chunin exams…" Sarutobi heaved a sigh.

Look underneath the underneath.

2. Not best friends?

"Teme got sent to the hospital?" Naruto broke his concentration from target practice to look up questioningly at the newcomer that had walked onto Training Ground Seven, his blue eyes widening in a reminiscent personification of innocence. The Hokage picked up a bit of malicious glee hidden underneath his voice, "Really? Why Jiji?"

"Uchiha Sasuke," Hiruzen lightly admonished, "It's rude to call people names, Naruto-kun."

Said genin frowned at his weaponry before redirecting his attention back onto the kage. "Did he do something bad? Because that's really weird since everybody says that he can't do anything bad." Naruto threw his head back and started laughing, as if he had told himself a really funny joke; he pulled back his arm, ready to lob another set of kunais onto the targets on the trees that lied on the other side of the field. The blond snorted and smiled a face-splitting grin at the Hokage that accented the whisker marks on his cheeks.

Ibiki watched from a nearby tree, judging their visages and taking mental notes. Subject does not fully respect his sensei and is obvious in his thoughts; reason is probably a recent occurrence. At his side, he could feel Kakashi watching the events unfold beneath them. "Take a good look Kakashi, you might have been misinterpreting your team dynamics right from the start." The blond brat glanced in their direction, his eyes narrowing minutely. Subject has enhanced senses that were not previously documented, possibly a side-effect of what he contains.

Sarutobi decided to not approach the blond in a subtle manner but to ask the question directly. "How close were you to Sasuke?"

"Were to Sasuke? Did you just say were?" The blond perked up, "What does that mean?" A bushin popped into existence without any hand seals and ran off the collect the scattered weapons. "Because, remember when I asked you, jiji, when I could switch teams, and you said, 'become a chunin and you'll work with many people.' And I remembered that and I tried hard at the chunin exams." Subject is used to misdirecting questions. "So…" Naruto dragged the word until the aged nin gave him a disappointed look, "About my closeness to Sasuke? The teme can rot in the shinigami's stomach for all I care. We're not close at all. Sakura-chan is probably closer to him than me." Uzumaki Naruto threw another set of kunais and listened to the satisfying thunk thunk thunk sounds they made as they hit the wood. Subject seems bitter about his circumstances. Possible favoritism? Though favoritism is expected in the four-man cells, this is one of the side-effects that the Shodaime didn't anticipate.

"There was absolutely no connection between you two?" Sarutobi pressed, sucking on his pipe and Naruto's bunshins brought back an armful of weapons.

The genin gave the Hokage a strange look, "Whatever little teammate sessions my sensei planned out didn't work at all, if that was what you were wondering about, jiji. Teme…

I have one goal in my life and that is to kill a certain someone: that is what drives me to improve. I will be the best and I will pull you down if I have to to maintain my superiority over others. Everybody acknowledges me as the Rookie of the Year and no Dead Last will usurp my position. You are a Dobe, Uzumaki, no one respects you, no one likes you, but they love me and they will always love me no matter what I do.

"… is an douche. Uchiha is a grade A douche, a real piece of work." Naruto finished inelegantly. "Every single action was designed to further his ambition. He had no close people." Grumbling, he pulled out a few shurikens and flicked them at some smaller targets, "Don't know why everybody likes him. Nobody looks at Sakura and I, it's always Uchiha this, Last Uchiha that, Sharingan training more." Subject is jealous of Uchiha's privileges.

Sarutobi was reminded of the dynamics between his own students: Jiraiya and Orochimaru, "even your own sensei?" He asked on a hunch.

The boy stopped in mid-throw and shrugged, "its fine, and everybody loves the Uchiha. I wasn't really surprised when sensei loved the Uchiha too. Especially when he showed us that he had the Sharingan, it was just another little bonding moment between them. Just wished that Kakashi-sensei would've just discussed what I needed to improve. Sakura didn't care about the neglect, but I do. Dammit, I want to be Hokage, I wasn't joking when I said that!" Naruto sighed as he spun a shuriken around his finger, "I stopped caring long ago, so it doesn't matter anymore. I'll be a chunin as soon as possible and get out of everyone's hair; I don't need Kakashi anymore, I can improve on my own and he can have teme all to himself. And everybody will be one happy little family."

Look at the Uchiha, talented boy he is, he will go far, perhaps even a Hokage. Who are his teammates? Not sure, a lucky girl from a civilian family, her parents must be ecstatic. They're hoping for marriage within a couple of years. His other teammate is that Kyuubi-boy. Oh, how unfortunate, how could the Sandaime do such a thing? Their sensei is the legendary Copy-nin. The one with the Sharingan? The very one. Look how well they match together and how much they have in common, background, geniuses, talented teachers; the Uchiha is in line to become the next Hokage!

"I'm sure Kakashi-sensei likes you very much, Naruto-kun."

"Whatever." The blond snorted, "Doesn't show it."

Ibiki noticed the grey haired jounin flinch violently, making him wonder what the man was thinking. Was he guilty? Were his actions non-intentional? Did he not suspect Naruto's thought processes and conclusions? Was he not aware at all that Team Seven was never really a team to begin with? Subject's team was a smoking bomb; the result was quite inevitable and obvious. He saw Kakashi ghost his hands over his hitai-ate and wondered what he was thinking. Was he reliving memories?

Even Sasuke can't match up to Hyuuga Neji, Naruto, to be frank, how can I expect you to beat him? Ebisu will be your guide to your chunin finals, this will be an excellent way to review your basics. I need to take Sasuke out of the village to train, you won't see much of me, I'm afraid. His opponent is too dangerous and I need to concentrate on him. Be quiet Naruto and watch Sasuke's fight with Gaara, you can learn a thing or two from him.

Douchebags... The blond genin narrowed his eyes at the unpleasant dialogues he had with his sensei… or non-sensei anymore, since Kakashi was never his sensei but only a sensei to teme. Feh, they're both douchebags in their little douchebag heaven. Sarutobi Hiruzen watched the different emotions flit across the genin's face with a hint of regret. This forcibly reminded him of the fallout that had happened to his own team: Orochimaru, Jiraiya, Tsunade…

Naruto moved to throw the shurikens before he froze again in thought, his face twisting together in a grimace. "Now that I think about it, Sasuke's closest person is probably sensei. They go well together, I'm sure, in every aspect of who they are. They deserve to be together."