Chapter 12
The silence was stifling.
No one said a word. No one made a sound.
Zarabeth could only listen to the heavy breathing of the crew around her all huddled together in the darkness of the brig, the ship's few cells filled with the men who had been safely piloting the Aberdeen not but a few hours before.
Trying to forget about their predicament for even just a little while, Zara closed her eyes as she let her head fall to the side, resting comfortably against Jim's shoulder as he held her close. He hadn't said a word since they were locked away with the others, simply sitting down in the corner with her, holding her as if he'd lose her if his grip let up even a little.
Taking a moment to look down at her lap, she wanted to see if William was still asleep. His small body huddled against her, she smiled softly to herself as she let her hand run comfortingly over his back, watching him breathe peacefully in fitful sleep. It was better this way, the less he had to be awake. She knew that. He could feel safe for only as long as he could dream.
After arguing with herself for some time, Zara dared to turn her head to look up at Jim, fearing what she'd see, but more afraid to just let him keep drowning in the emotions she could feel simply through his rigid touch.
His eyes were all she needed to see. She knew that look. She hated that look.
That deadness in his eyes hadn't been there since that first trip on the Legacy where they met, the trip when Silver betrayed them.
He didn't have to say anything, Zara already knew why he was so tense, but she knew he needed to let it out. She feared he'd completely lose his control before long if he held it in for much longer.
Her words were barely whispers, but they cut through the silence like a perfectly sharpened knife. "Jim? Please talk to me."
There was no life in his expression, no reply even in his eyes as he continued to stare coldly at the bars in front of them. It was almost like he hadn't heard her, but Zarabeth somehow knew he had.
She had to say something if he wouldn't. She couldn't be silent any longer.
"Jim...you couldn't have known."
For a while, she didn't know if he'd answer, but just as she was about to give up, his hoarse voice broke the silence between them.
"I trusted him."
Each word brought more pain to his eyes than she'd ever seen, his words just as quiet as hers, yet they seemed to ring through the brig with grinding clarity.
"I practically gave the ship over to him."
Dropping her gaze to concentrate on her hands, Zarabeth swallowed hard, unsure of what she could even possibly say to help him. Maybe there was no helping him. "He-He's your first officer. Of course you trusted him."
Pinching the bridge of his nose as he firmly shut his eyes, the breath Jim released was heavy, trembling almost as his grip let up on her arm. The silence that had separated them moments ago returned, followed only by the scraping of Jim's boots against the wood flooring as he forced himself to his feet.
Zara watched as he made his way across the cell toward to walk of thick bars holding them captive, his shaking hands gripping the cold metal to keep steady as the ship continued to rock sporadically around them. With his back turned to her, she couldn't tell whether or not he was going to say anything, but the small breath in aggravation he took in a moment later confirmed it, his words despairingly low.
"They're not even pirates. They're smugglers."
"Smugglers?"
"Ewen. It's gotta be Ewen McCoy. Navy's been after him for years, him and his men. He's been on Inyang all this time." Turning so that his back was propped against the bars, Jim folded his arms in aggravation over his chest as he pulled a hand over his tired eyes. "I don't know what they think they're gonna do with the ship. Whatever it is...they won't be needing us. Not for much longer."
Heaving a heavy sigh to release some of the tension building up in her mind, Zarabeth carefully moved William's head off of her lap, making sure he was still sleeping before getting up. Pulling her arms tightly around herself, Zara's nightshirt and thin pajama pants were doing nothing to help shield her from the cold of the brig, her bare feet making their way to stand in front of him. Trying to draw his eyes back to her, Zara, let her hand gently rest against the side of his face, her fingers lingering lightly over the bruises forming on his brow as she tried her best to reassure him. "Felix may have put us here, but he's protecting us at least until after these men are done with their business on Rhitan. That gives us some time. It's not much, but it is something."
Jim's eyes only met hers for a moment before he pulled his face out of Zarabeth's hand, the boy gritting his teeth as he tried to turn away from her. "Zara, there is no time. They're smugglers. They do what they please. Felix is blind if he doesn't see that. Pirates at least have some sense of pride. Even they have lines they won't cross, no matter what. Smugglers have no such boundaries."
Jim released another heavy breath as he leaned his forehead against his clenched fist, his words barely managed to be said, let alone heard. "We're as good as dead right now."
She couldn't believe it. Those words coming from his mouth were the words of a man who'd already given up.
Zarabeth's lip trembled with her labored breathing as she tried to regain her calmness, searching desperately in his eyes for any hint or sign of feelings he wasn't showing her. "Jim. What's gotten into you?"
He couldn't meet her unwavering gaze, Jim's whole body rigid with the emotions waging war in his mind as he fought between instinct and reality. "Zara no one's coming for us. No one knows anything is wrong. They'll do what they will and then they'll kill us. And I-"
The composure he'd managed to keep all this time suddenly failed, his eyes tightly shut to try to stave off the tears forming in them as his voice dropped to barely a whisper. "I can't protect you."
The warmth of Jim's arms as he suddenly pulled her into his tight embrace, Zara couldn't bear the emotions in his voice as he buried his face in her hair, knowing he was despairing because of her.
He didn't want to risk losing her, even if it meant living a little longer only to be killed later. Jim wasn't going to fight them.
"Zarabeth, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I dragged you into all of this. It should have been my fight...only mine."
Pulling her head up from where she'd been cradling it against his chest, Zara's tearful eyes finally met Jim's, the girl swallowing hard to force the words in her mind to fall from her lips. "I know you feel helpless, and I'm sorry for that. Things would be very different if I wasn't here." Despite everything, she managed a soft smile as she sniffed back the tears trying to escape her eyes staring ever constantly into his. "But this is still where I'd want to be. With you."
Lifting her hand to let her thumb clear away the small trails of tears over Jim's cheek, Zara leaned in to let her forehead gently rest against his, letting herself become lost to his crystal gaze. "Jim, I vowed to you to be faithful until death parted us. If that time is now, there's nowhere I'd rather be than right here. If this is how it ends, I'm just glad I'm with you."
"Zara." Covering her hand with his, Jim bit down hard on his lip, unable to tear his eyes from hers.
Nothing else needed to be said. In that moment of silence filling the small space between them, all the love and fearful tension they were both struggling with was understood without making a sound as Jim's lips gently met hers.
The kiss didn't last long, but Zarabeth knew that even just these small moments were keeping her away from the overwhelming anxiety trying to overthrow her mind.
She still held tight to him, as he did to her, the two content to simply stand there against the barred wall, afraid that every moment would be the last they got to hold each other.
Cradling his forehead against hers, Jim finally opened his eyes, trying to keep his voice quiet and calm as he stared down at his wife, a frustrating mixture of insatiable adoration and overwhelming fear keeping his arms tight about her. It occurred to him, terrible but true, that they might kill him, but not Zarabeth, the thought sickening him, but yet leaving his mind with the smallest glimmer of hope. "Zara? Promise me...Promise me you'll take any chance to live, any chance there might be to get away from all of this? They can do what they will to me, but I want you to keep fighting. Do this for me?"
Biting down on her lip to keep it from trembling, the girl gave a small nod, waiting until she was confident she could reply with collected calmness. "They're not gonna give us an opportunity to get away, I'm certain of that. But I will try. I promise. Don't give up on us just yet, Jimmy boy."
Managing to smile as he gave the girl's nose a small kiss, Jim's look changed entirely as he suddenly recalled something, turning his head this way and that to try to look about the dark brig. "Where-Where's Morph?"
Following his gaze around the room, Zara's eyes came back to him in utter confusion. "I thought he was with you."
"I haven't seen him since after dinner yesterday. You sure you don't know?" Letting go of Zarabeth, Jim took a moment to check the pockets of his pajama pants, nothing to show for his efforts as he furrowed his brow. "I hope he's ok. I don't think I've seen any of the crew with him, ours or theirs. Hopefully he's safe hiding somewhere."
"He's probably fine. Morph's not one to-"
The heavy tread of boots against the stairs at the other side of the brig brought everyone's attentions to focus on the smuggler captain making his way down into the darkness, two of his other men accompanied by Felix.
One would never know that this was the first officer who had betrayed his crew, his eyes as cold and steadfast as any other member of the brigand group, not a hint of remorse to be seen.
Ewen took a casual glance about the room with a satisfied smirk, his voice ringing through the silence coupled with the darkness as the Aberdeen's crew fearfully waited for him to speak, everyone knowing full well that their lives now constantly hung in the balance.
"Morning everyone. As of today, the RLS Aberdeen is under new management. If any of you has a problem with that, you can talk to the other end of my pistol. We clear? Good. First thing's first. My men and I have absolutely no use for you, aside from a few material things and the fact that you're all considered leverage. But that doesn't mean I need all of you. Start acting up like that spitfire wench over there and I will promptly dispose of you one by one."
Zarabeth swallowed hard to keep from showing how much fear was creeping back into her mind, Jim's grip tightening around her a strange sort of comfort.
"Enough formalities. Time to get working. We reach Rhitan in less than three days, in that time, I need this ship to be running as if absolutely nothing is wrong. You. Helmsman. You're gonna find my knife planted in the back of your neck if you try anything. I need you, your cook, and you, navigator. Get them out and put back into uniform."
No one moved from where they stood or sat in their cells as the few men selected were taken from the groups and ushered back up on deck.
Ewen scratched distractedly at one of the scarred folds in his face as if trying to put his thoughts back into order. "Now let's see. Next thing on the agenda. Each of you men is commissioned a naval uniform for your service on this ship. Well, now my men are in need of said uniforms. Those of you wearing your jackets and vests, if you have them, get 'em off. That's it. Just throw them into the aisle. Thank you very much. We'll need a few more, but that's no trouble. Captain's wife. Bring her out."
"Oh no you don't." Gritting his teeth in response to the man's last words, Jim was quick to pull Zarabeth behind him, his glare like ice as he instinctively tried to protect her.
"Easy there, Captain. I'm only borrowing her for a little while. After all, I'm sure she's the only one who knows the whereabouts of your own uniform. Out you go, my dear."
Ewen's drawn pistol was just enough of a threat to make Zara give in, afraid that Jim wouldn't if she stayed silent and still. Taking a step away from him toward the opened cell door, she looked back at Jim with pleading eyes as he grabbed at her hand to try to stop her.
"Jim, I'll be right back, ok?" Doing her best to smile for him, she gave his hand a reassuring squeeze before pulling away, stepping into the middle of the brig as she avoided the other smugglers' stares.
Ewen looked in pure satisfaction between Jim and Zarabeth, baring his yellowed teeth in a smirk of a smile as he motioned the girl away towards the stairs. "Smart girl. Now. You just hang tight, Hawkins. Uniform hunting we go."
Shrugging off the hands that tried to urge her forward, Zara took a small moment to look back over her shoulder, her chest tightening painfully at the look in Jim's eyes as he clung to the cell's bars in obvious frustration, watching her every step until she was out of sight.