Chapter 17

The next morning I awake in my bed. I feel wet, very wet. I open my eyes and pull the sheets off of me. They are covered in blood and I panic. I run to the bathroom and i know it's my period. I didn't actually think it would come.

I clean myself up and use one of the pads that Brea has left me, and then turn back to my bed. It's covered in blood, my blood. How am I going to tell Brea? I walk down the stairs and see he isn't here. He left cereal on the table, but he's nowhere to be found. I eat my breakfast and decide that I just wont mention it to him, he'll only laugh at me.

I wait around all day, exploring the house, making myself lunch, or rather finding snacks to eat in the fridge for lunch. I watch TV, tour Brea's horrid basement that I hope he never takes me down into again.

Finally he is home after an eternity of waiting. He comes through the front door and begins making dinner. We eat and I help him clean up the dishes. He says and asks nothing about my period. I guess he assumes that I have it since I was supposed to get it today.

"So, are you ready for a shower?" Brea asks. I nod my head yes, wondering if he's coming in with me again.

"Okay, let's go then, come." He takes my hand and leads me up the stairs to my room. "Wait here," he says and walks into my bathroom. I ignore his order and walk to the bathroom doorway. He is setting up towels and wash cloths for the both of us. So I guess he is getting in with me.

"I told you to wait there, I wanted to do something first," he tells me. He isn't mad, his voice gentle, but I can tell I have upset him by not following his orders.

"Oh, sorry," I say and walk back to the spot where he told me to wait. He finishes setting up the bathroom and then walks over to me hastily.

"What are you plann-" I start to say, but before I can finish my sentence he interrupts me with a kiss. I close my eyes and enjoy the feeling of his lips on mine. They are wonderful and soft and full. I am lost in him.

I don't even notice that he has eased me to face the opposite way, towards the door. He kisses me without even seeming to make me move more than a step at a time, and before I know it, my knees are on the back of the bed and his hands are on my shoulders. I open my eyes, I know what he's doing.

"No," i tell him just as he pushes me down onto the bed. He looks at me and then steps back, hurt.

"What? Don't you want this?" he asks.

"I do, but," I trail off. I'm sitting in my own blood. It's dry now, but it's still gross. I get up and move and Brea's eyes don't seem surprised. Only calm and calculating.

"Oh, so you did get it, I didn't know if you did or not, you never told me."

"I was embarrassed to," I say shyly.

"Don't be," he scoffs. "It's a natural bodily function. It's not your fault. Now lets get you cleaned up and then we'll see what we can do about these sheets."

"You're not mad?"

"Don't be stupid, you can't help bleeding on the sheets any more than you can help being in this situation. I'll just put them through the wash, no big deal, but there won't be any sex."

"Okay, that's fine," I shrug. I really don't want to anyways. It would be too messy and I don't feel like doing anything.

"Alright, now lets get you in the shower," he says leading me into the bathroom and peeling off my clothes. I help him with his, and we get in the shower together.

Steam makes the world foggy as he turns on the hot water, I enjoy it all too much. He positions me over the shower hose and wets my skin and hair, then takes a cloth and squirts lovely smelling soap on it and washes my body. I am so relaxed I find myself getting tired.

"You okay there baby?" he asks and I nod my head in appreciation and lean against him lightly.

"Careful I don't want to fall over," he says and continues to wash me. I am covered from head to toe in soap, and I decide Brea should be too. I grab the cloth from him and do the same as he did to me, squirting soap onto the cloth then washing every inch of his gorgeous skin. He sighs in appreciation taking in the feeling for a few moments before letting the soap be rinsed off of him by the water.

"Okay, turn around, you need your hair washed," he says and finds a different bottle in the shower. I let the water run down my head and face, loving the warmth of the water and also Brea. His hands spread the soap through my hair and massages my scalp. It's heavenly. My head lolls back in appreciation of his magic fingers, it feels so good I could almost sleep.

He rinses my hair out and then applies another layer of soap to it, from a different bottle this time. This soap feels more silky, it makes my hair feel like it's even softer than it was before. "How does this feel?" Brea asks.

"Mmmm, good," I say. It does feel good, really good. I've never had anyone treat me this nicely before.

"Good baby, I'm glad it makes you feel good. Have you had any cramps since you got your period?"

"Yeah, they aren't nice."

"Well hopefully a nice hot shower will get them to ease a little. If not I have some pain medication you can take for that."

"Okay," I say. I really would like something sweet to eat, but it's not my place to ask him for food, he gives me food when he feels like it, I am not to ask. At least I don't feel comfortable asking. What I really want is some of that chocolate ice cream he gave me a while back. That was delicious.

When he's done rinsing the final bits of soap out of my hair he turns the water off and dries me off with a towel and helps me dress, then I walk over to his room with him and help him do the same. There is no sex, no wanting, okay maybe a little wanting, but most of all just closeness between the two of us. It's like we're the only two people left in the world.

As I'm finishing helping him with his belt, Brea takes my chin in his fingers and lifts it, forcing me to look at him. He closes his eyes and our lips press together in a sweet sensual kiss that I've only ever felt with him. It's not the usual rough or forced kiss I have endured before, this one has meaning to it. This one is real.

"Adley," I say as we break apart and he opens his eyes. He looks at me with curiosity, tilting his head to the side in misunderstanding.

"I'm sorry? What?"

"My name, it's Adley," I clarify. Brea's eyes grow wide and for a moment and I regret that I told him. I just gave him the last piece of myself that I had. The last shred of my being that hasn't been taken away.

"Adley? That's it?Adley?" he asks grinning, and I'm afraid he will laugh at me. I don't want him to laugh at my name, especially when it's all I have left.

I nod my head, it's too late to go back. Tears well in my eyes, "You don't like it?" I ask, choking out the words that I can hardly bear to ask.

His grin turns serious, "no, no that's not what I meant at all," he says pulling me into his arms. "I was just so happy that you finally gave me something else to call you other than pet names. It's beautiful and I love it."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. It's a beautiful name for a beautiful girl."

"Please don't tell it to anyone, it's all I have left."

"I know, baby - Adley, I know. I wont tell anyone if it means that much to you. I will never tell another soul, I'm just glad you told me."

"Well I just got tired of you calling me baby," I lie, and he knows it. I care for him. I care for him and there is no denying it. He may not care for me, and he may, I don't know. But I care for him and there is no way that I can stop it. I can't stop these feelings for him anymore than I can escape from this situation. I only wish things were different.

"No you didn't," he says picking me up with his arms around my waist and I squeal, throwing my arms around his neck so I don't fall. He spins me around and around and then throws me on his bed, climbing on top of me playfully. He presses his lips against mine and I giggle in appreciation, he kisses me over and over again until both of our lips are chapped.

The kiss comes to a natural end and he lays on top of me gently, not crushing me, but I still feel like I can't breathe. He eventually rolls off of me, and I find myself gazing into his endless blue eyes, they no longer look evil and mad, but instead I see them for what they really are. Gentle.

His breathing becomes deeper and deeper and I know we're both tired enough that we'll soon fall asleep. Brea's eyes are blinking shut and staying shut for longer periods of time. There is a faint whisper that comes from his lips, right before he falls asleep. I can't understand it, but it almost sounded like he said I love you.

What have I done