Arthur knew Merlin was trying to change to topic and let him, they had time after all to talk. He had noticed the ribs and backbone of Merlin and how much weight he had clearly lost. Merlin needed to eat and he let him. Once Merlin had eaten his full Arthur made them another cup of tea and they sat together in the lounge just enjoying being together. When Gwaine and Hunith arrived home Arthur got up and made them all a drink.
Merlin took his "What's this?"
"Coffee made with all milk" Arthur said sternly "You and Gwaine need the calories"
Hunith smiled "Good lad" she told him "And I have doughnuts to go with it"
Merlin looked disgusted "I've already had Bara Brith I'm not eating doughnuts"
"Fair enough I'll have yours" Gwaine said with a grin. They laughed Gwaine's sweet tooth was legendary almost as legendary as his love of apples. He ruffled Merlin's hair "I was sent to them and I got Apple doughnuts instead of jam ones."
Hunith sighed "Alright but you will eat a good dinner, I have some nice lamb chops and I know you all like those."
Hunith and Gwaine stayed a few days then once the army was happy they decided to go back to Wales. Merlin was sad to see his mother and Gwaine go but Hunith told him "You two need some time together and I can't stay away from home much longer. I need to get back to normal." She paused "But ring me please, you know where I am if you need anything"
Before they left Gwaine spoke to Merlin alone and they refused to tell Arthur or Hunith what was said. But it did seem to settle Merlin. The night before they left Morgana and Leon visited and spent the evening with them. Morgana was so pleased to be able to spend time with Merlin and Hunith, Gwaine she didn't know as well but made sure he didn't feel left out. Then the next day they all went together to see Hunith and Gwaine off at the station. Going back home Morgana cooked a meal for everyone.
"But after today you are going to have to cook for yourselves" she warned with a smile. "You have both lost weight so make sure you eat well and don't order in"
Merlin felt guilty that he hadn't really taken any notice of his husband's weight except when he first saw him, he had just been too pleased to be home. It hit him then that Arthur must have suffered when he was missing. He had been so wrapped up in his own concerns and memories. "We will" he promised his sister in law.
Later when Morgana was making a coffee Merlin followed her into the kitchen telling Arthur "I'll help with the cups" once in the kitchen he stood next to Morgana "How was he? When I was missing?"
Morgana looked at Merlin in surprise "How do you think? He was in bits, he didn't sleep, eat or go to work much." Then she saw Merlin's face as the soldier looked at her
"I have been so wrapped up in my own misery I didn't think" he had a tear running down his face, it was the first time Morgana had ever seen her brother-in-law cry. Moving towards him she hugged him.
"That's not surprising, you've been through hell. You both have" she paused then added "But you need to know he's suffered as well, and he won't tell you. He hasn't been to work at all for weeks. He had a big bust up with Uther" Morgana gave a small smile "Long overdue if you ask me"
"He's been sacked?" Merlin whispered
"No nor has he resigned. I think they are both waiting for the other one to back down. I know Arthur wants to stay with you for now, he needs it, just to satisfy himself you are really home" she paused "You both need time to sort yourselves out. But Merlin you have always been stronger together you WILL get through this. Just make sure you talk, let him in Merlin." Morgana made the drinks and smiled "Come on let's get back or they will be wondering what we're up to."
Merlin took Morgana's words to heart and over the next days made an effort. Arthur went with him for his check-ups and even asked if he could stay as he had the stitches out of his chest. That was strange as he had tried to protect Arthur from what had happened. But when asking Arthur he found Arthur needed to know, that way he felt he could help Merlin more. Merlin realized that Arthur needed to feel in control, as he always had been on their home life and that in 'protecting' Arthur he was making things worse. In one memorable night they had both had a nightmare, Merlin about watching his men be beheaded and Arthur had a repeat of finding Merlin's head on the pillow beside him. They had hugged each other for the rest of the night. After that they both agreed to co-operate with having counselling.
Merlin raised the subject of Uther and work Arthur looked at his husband "I am not going back to work! Not until you are better"
"You should talk to your father, let him know" Merlin insisted "You would if your boss wasn't family"
"Merlin he was …you can't believe him, He was so cold when you…." Arthur looked at Merlin "I can't forgive him"
Merlin rolled his eyes "You Pendragons! Remember how emotionally constipated you were when we met? You only have one parent Arthur, do you want to lose all contact with him? Look if you want to quit then quit, if not pick up the phone. I am tough enough to put up with him"
Arthur looked at Merlin and the younger man saw a challenge in the blonde's eye "OK I will but only if you let me drive you to Wales to see Mordred and Pellinore's families. I heard what Gwaine said they want to see you"