The inside of the truck is spotless, I think it's cleaner than some operating theatres. Beside me Tatsuo drives lazily, one hand on the wheel he watches me. A little self conscious I lay back in the seat, the leather is soft and plush.
"Like it?" He asks, a grin on his face.
"It's amazing, It must have cost a lot of money." I brush my hair away from my face, wishing I had the sense to do something with it before I left the house today. He lets out a chuckle that makes me blush, suddenly he seems a lot older.
"I've had my eye on you Miki, I think you could go far."
"What do you mean?" I interlock my fingers in my lap to stop myself doing anything embarrassing with my hands.
"Well, cute girl like you is going to have a lot of boys after her tail, you 'gotta make sure you pick the right one." His eyes travel down my body, it makes me feel a little uncomfortable to be honest. But this is what boys like, right?
"I'm not tha- Watch out!" Out of nowhere a yellow bus slams into Tatsuo's door. The last thing I see before the world goes black is the illuminated words 'Yamaku Academy' shown as the buses destination.
I wake up feeling like I'm falling, my body jerks in terrified response. The ghost of my left hand is clenched into a fist, nails digging into flesh that no longer exists. I shiver soaked in a cold sweat. What the hell was that? Wrapping my covers around me I wait for Ikuno's knock, it doesn't come. Now that I think about it I can't be sure I screamed this time. Well that's an improvement. Still I wonder if I should go and knock on my best friends door. I decide not to, it's early Sunday morning, I'll let her sleep.
— — —
Eventually soft morning light seeps through my window, waking me from my fretful slumber. I pull myself out of bed, head still full of thoughts silver haired boys and buses smashing into trucks. I pull on my Yamaku PE kit, my normal track suit bottoms are in the wash. Note to self, get more running clothes. The shorts feel tiny, and the top is defiantly too tight. I silently curse whoever designed this abomination as I walk out the door.
By the time I've ran for a good hour, gone back to my room, washed and dressed my friends have just about managed to crawl their way out of bed. I meet them in what has become our normal haunt, a large oak in the lavish grounds. Ryouta is laying in the grass, looking like he's ready for a nap. Ikuno meanwhile sit's with a text book open in her lap, throwing Ryouta disapproving looks.
"Good morning," I sink down against the trunk of the tree. Nice of them to save my sport for me.
Ryouta mumbles something that could either be good morning or a hitherto undiscovered tribal language.
"Good Morning Miki," Ikuno says, glaring at Ryouta. Despite my first impressions they have developed a kind of chemistry with each other, it's fascinating to watch. "Did you sleep well?"
"I've slept better," I say, trying to read her upside homework. She gives me a knowing look.
"If you can't sleep you're more than welcome to share my bed, I'll keep the bad dreams away."
"Ryouta!" Ikuno exclaims, blushing madly. Like I say, strange chemistry.
"That sounds like a nightmare," I aim a kick at his side.
"Ow! that was uncalled for," he sits up, rubbing his eyes.
"Serves you right for not focusing on your homework," Ikuno bites her pen, eyes fixed to the page.
"What? You seem to have it covered," he grins stupidly. "Besides you need to get used to filling out paperwork with no thanks, you're on the student council now," nodding he lays back down. Closing his eyes he wiggles around apparently trying to find a comfortable spot.
"You joined the student council?" I ask, momentarily distracted from the retribution I will deliver upon Ryouta for making someone else do his homework.
"It was an accident!" Ikuno groans.
"How the hell do you accidentally join a council?" I ask exasperated.
"Well you remember when I stayed behind on Saturday because I thought I might have misread one of my homework questions?" I nod. "Well I got talking to Shizune and Misha, they said I was just the kind of person they were looking for." She smiles proudly.
"Yeah, gullible!" Ryouta starts to laugh, wiping the smile of Ikuno's face. With a sigh I take the heavy textbook out of Ikuno's lap, close it neatly. Then drop it onto Ryouta's unsuspected stomach. "Ow, Miki how come whenever we spend time with each other you end up hurting me?"
"Because you inset on being a total and complete pain in the arse, now be quiet and let Ikuno finish." I gesture for Ikuno to continue, she looks at Ryouta a little worried before she does.
"Well I've always liked that kinda thing, I used to be on the council at my old school and well we went back to this spare classroom they use," She takes a deep breath. "We played a board game, then they asked me to join and well everything seemed so good I said yes."
"Well it doesn't sound so bad," I smile at her. "I'm happy for you."
"That student council is cursed," Ryouta says, apparently he's a slow learner. "I hear most of the members left after a year of Shizune, I hear she made a blind girl cry."
"Is that true?" Ikuno looks worried.
"You're not blind," I point out. "And if the president gives you trouble tell me and I will punch her." Ikuno looks at me, trying to work out if I'm serious. My face brakes first, cracking into a grin. Soon the three of us are in fit's of laughter.
— — —
Despite my first positive impressions of the student council, I'm quickly starting to side with Ryouta's view. It's like a top secret best friend stealing research facility. All I ever get from Ikuno when I invite her out is that she's busy with council stuff. Ryouta is a good friend, but it's just not the same. She's even stopped coming to my room when I have bad dreams. It's not like I expected her to do it when I first got here, but she did, and it was nice. Now she's stopped I'm stuck with both pain and loneliness.
I arrive at my appointment with Dr Ueda for once quite glad I have someone to talk to about my dreams. I knock on the door, remembering to use my right hand this time. I think my body has finally caught on that my hand is gone.
"Come in Miki," We nod at each other as I take a seat on the bean bag. I've taken to switching chairs every time I enter this room, just in case a repeated choice of seat might reveal some dark family secret. He's a mind reader sometimes.
We follow our normal routine of greeting, politely refusing drinks and light chatter about the weather and plans for the upcoming festival, which I have exactly zero.
"Well Miki, is there anything in particular you would like to discuss today?"
"I had a new dream," I say simply. I had considered not telling him, but with Ikuno lost to the council I need to get things off my chest.
"Oh?" The doctor takes the lid off his pen, inviting me to continue.
I hesitantly explain my dream. I try to describe in detail how uncomfortable the look made me feel, how I wake up feeling like something is watching me. My left hand starts to prickle as the memories of the dream resurface. I push the stump into the beanbag. Dr Ueda knows enough not ask about the hand, instead focussing on the dream.
"There is no mention of a bus being involved in the accident Miki." He tells me calmly.
"Then what I see in my dreams is all bullshit anyway?" My left hand curls into a fist, an action I for once don't mind. I feel like punching something, I thought I was making progress. Damn it!
"Miki, your partial amnesia is an incredibly rare condition, as is recovering your memories through dreams." He pauses. "Dreams are the minds way of working out problems. I think the bus may perhaps represent your anxiety with starting at a new school."
"How can I tell what really happened then?"
"I believe we can determine what is real by using the information we have available to us and by discussing the details during our appointments. Don't feel disheartened Miki, you are making real progress."
"So the bus is nothing to worry about then?" I ask, calming a little.
"I would not worry about it, no." He looks from his notes and back to me, before speaking slowly. "Miki, is it possible Tatsuo attacked you while you were in his company?"
"No," I say softly.
"Are you certain?"
"No," I look at my feet.
The rest of the appointment is subdued, my mind is full of horrible thoughts. Damn it! Because what I needed was something else to think about. We say our goodbyes and I promise to phone him if I have any problems. I think we both know I'm lying. I am on edge as I leave his office. On the way back to my room I stop at Ikuno's door. She can forgot the council for one night. I need her. knocking softly on her door, I get no answer. That's odd, I try knocking again with the same result. In desperation I try the handle and find the door unlocked.
Walking tentatively into the room i'm met with an onslaught of colour and lights. Everything from the curtains to her bedspread are a violent shade of pink. Strings of fairy lights are hung along every available ledge, providing warm but dim light. Ikuno wearing her frilly nightdress, sits bent at her desk, a mountain of paperwork in front of her.
One hand on her chin she looks like she's about to fall asleep, she's wearing headphones with the music so loud I can hear the beats from the door. I walk closer, wondering how best to announce myself. The point is made rather mute when I cast a shadow across her desk and she jumps nearly falling off the chair.
"Miki! What are you doing?" She rips the headphones off. I notice she looks paler than normal.
"I just wondered if you wanted to spend the night, or something I dunno." I rub the back of my neck, I'm not really sure what I had planned.
"I can't I'm really busy, student council stuff?" She shrugs, as if it's something outside of her control.
"You can take one night off can't you?" I ask, "Come on you could do with a break, you don't look well."
"I'm fine, just busy."
"When was the last time you ate something? Have you been remembering to check your blood sugar?" I look around for the small black case.
"I don't need you telling me how to look after myself," She glares at me, her cheeks starting to redden.
"Doesn't look like that to me!" I snap back angrily. Her body trembles as she jumps to her feet.
"Get out of my room, I don't know why I'm even your friend!" She's almost shouting now.
"Me neither," I snarl turning to leave.
"Because you can't get through a night without me holding your hand," her voice drips with venom, I turn back to face her astounded. Is this what Ikuno's really like?
"Well don't worry about that, I never want to see you again." I stop at her door, "Oh and Ryouta only likes you because you do his homework, you do know that right?" Her eyes grow wide, I can tell I've hit a sore spot. I stamp down to my room, slamming the door behind me.
I throw myself down angrily on the edge of my bed, breathing hard. Why did she react like that? Why the hell did I have to have the last word? What the fuck have I done?