Summer. Oh joyful summer.

I breathe in the fetid air that begins to the ruffle my tangled mahogany tendrils as I set foot into the grounds of Cross Academy.

Wow, it's just as majestic and mysterious during the night, but the atmosphere is eerie, and strangely sickening. Why does it strike such a throbbing arrow of fear in my heart?

Black iron gates were around the perimeter of two buildings; there goes the feeling of being held under captivity. The students aren't animals, so what's with the extra security?

Why was I sent here, to such a posh private school?

I wonder the same thing, those words have had an iron grip on my brain so damn hard I've felt like my head was going to break and explode.

A youth organisation sent me here hoping it would benifit my education, thinking that it would also be good for my mental health. It disgusts me people like them think so low of me.

I'm no different, I'm human, just like them, yet I'm continually treated like an outcast, like someone who doesn't truly belong.

Why can't I just be alone and shut off from the world?

Sometimes I just want to be completely isolated in my own little universe of fantasies and figments of my own imagination.

Realising that I was distracted by my thoughts, I slapped myself hard on the cheek.

That'll leave a bruise.

Wake up, idiot. You're not gonna get anywhere if you continue to walk away from reality.

Focus.

I walked to the girls dormitory, not bothering to go to the head office. Why should I care? I'm too exhausted to speak or to even contemplate the matter of seeing another human being.

I needed to be alone. It was a neccessity.

I looked like a drunken idiot as I was trying to locate an empty room, my eyes fluttering with extreme tiredness. Geez, I hope I find a decent air-conditioned dorm, preferably with a soft floral bed with a mirrored wardrobe and someplace to practise my artistic skills.

My standards for things had always been particularly high.

Finally finding an empty area, I breathed with relief. Black satin sheets, a small wooden desk and dressing table, as well as a medium-sized wardrobe.

Good enough.

Dropping my bags in an instant, I literally dived onto the bed with a feeling of glee. I had never felt so happy to plant my face into a pillow.

Then that feeling was abruptly replaced with utter dread as I examined my room.

Twisting my body to lie on my back, I looked intently with clouded vision.

A large golden vase contained a flock of red roses in it. Those types of flowers always give off an irresistable scent.

But the colour?

Red?

It's nothing but a chilling reminder, symbolism of who I really am.

Blood. Love.

Blood, because I don't have enough of it. It sickens me that I could drop dead at any moment..

As for love, well, I've never felt it. My family disappeared before I was born, so for the majority, I've been alone.

I don't know what it feels like to be loved, to be appreciated or praised or even complimented.

I'm human, yes, but I am not like anyone else.

Maybe I deserve to be treated the way I do.

My physical wellbeing is unpredictable. Blood and oxygen isn't circulated properly; although there is enough to keep me breathing, there is always a chance for my heart to fail.

I have no purpose.

There always seems to be some sort of representation for each shattered and twisted piece of my life. I feel as though I'm constantly reminded of the negatives which keep pushing me towards that dark abyss.

I just want to escape.

But would that ever change? Would this forever be my own distorted perpective of myself?

Sinking into a deep slumber, I prayed to God that I would never wake.

Why me? Why was I born this way, with only half a heart?

Hope you enjoyed the first chapter! Yes, I know I didn't manage to write alot, but trust me, I will try my hardest not to disappoint you! xD Please review and favorite, that'd be great. I apologize if it took a bit longer than expected for me to update! :)

Until next time,

Saphizcool