Goddess
May 1, 1919
Grey. That was the colour of the hair she had found. It was grey. Not the dark, chocolaty colour that the rest of her hair was.
Staring at her reflection in the mirror that morning after O'Brien had left with the breakfast tray she had hardly touched, Cora found that she no longer recognized the woman in the mirror. Well, that wasn't entirely true. The dark hair was still there, and her bright blue eyes, but her hair had lost it's luster has the grey had started to appear, and her blue eyes were starting to lose their brightness. Where there had once stood a beautiful young woman, there now stood an old woman with wrinkles and grey hairs.
Taking in a shaky breath, she let her head fall into her hands as she rested her elbows on the vanity table, tears starting to roll down her cheeks. When had she gotten so old? It was no wonder Robert had kissed another woman—a younger woman. He was no longer in love with her…and no wonder. Her beauty had faded. It was gone. Clearly he was no longer attracted to her if he had gone for a woman who was younger.
So caught up had she been in her thoughts and tears that she had not heard the door open behind her until she heard his voice call her name. She jumped slightly and turned to look at him slowly, tear tracks visible on her cheeks. "What are you doing out of bed?" He asked in a soft voice, moving to her. "You know Clarkson wants you in bed until you have fully recovered and regained your strength."
Looking down, Cora closed her eyes and shook her head, her hands gripping onto the sides of the chair. "I'll go now," she whispered quietly, but still not moving from the chair.
She heard Robert let out a small sigh and then felt his hand gently lift her chin. Her eyes fluttered open after a moment and she let out a tiny sob when she saw the look in his eyes. He pulled her into his arms as she sobbed quietly, simply holding her and rocking her.
"Now, my darling, are you going to tell me what is wrong?" He asked quietly when she had calmed down after a few moments, gently caressing her cheek with a knuckle.
No sound came from Cora for a few moments, save for the odd sniffle or tiny sob. After a few moments, however, she took in a shaky breath and clutched the front of his shirt tightly. "You don't love me anymore…" she whispered quietly. "I've gotten…old. I'm old and no longer as beautiful as I once was. That's why you kissed that maid."
A look of pure shock appeared on her husband's face and then the pure shock was replaced with sadness. "My darling…" he whispered, lifting her in his arms and holding her close to him. "That kiss was a lapse in judgment on my part. I was feeling neglected and…well, none of that is an excuse for how I acted. But the minute I heard how ill you were, I forgot about everything else but you."
He gently placed his wife on the bed, pulling the blankets up around her and then laying down next to her. "And I never want to hear you speak of my wife like that again," he teased quietly. "You are not old, my love. In my eyes, you have not aged a day. You are still the same beautiful…goddess that I married. The same beautiful woman that I fell in love with, and the one I am still in love with."
A few tears continued to roll down Cora's cheek and she took in a shaky breath, snuggling closer to him. She felt his thumb on her cheek, starting to gently wipe her tears away before kissing her nose. "I will always love you, my beautiful Cora. And no one else."
This takes place shortly after the Spanish Flu went through Downton. I imagine that once the fact that Robert had nearly cheated on her settled in, Cora would have become rather upset and doubtful of herself, especially since Jane was younger than she was.